Nobody screws with somebody who's legally blonde

JJ winced when she went to the loo that morning. Her bladder was painful, her urethra was painful and peeing burnt. She knew she likely had a UTI, which made the idea of a 40 minute drive to work seem intolerable.

“Morning sweetheart.” Emily said as JJ came into the kitchen. “I made coffee.”

JJ knew coffee would not help her situation but she also needed the caffeine to help get her through the day. She took the cup and sipped at it. Her bladder burning.

Emily went into the bathroom to finish getting ready for work and JJ grabbed some Tylenol to take in the hope it would help and filled up a water bottle. God she felt desperate to pee again and it had barely been 5 minutes.

“Ready to go Jayje?” Emily asked once she was ready.

“Uh yeah. Just let me pee first.”

“You’ve just been. Are you okay?” Emily asked.

“Yeah fine.” JJ replied, going into the bathroom. Wincing as a tiny amount of urine came out of her.

They headed into the car, Emily in the drivers seat and JJ in the front passenger seat beside her girlfriend. She was trying to avoid shuffling around too much or making facial expressions that tipped off the fact that she was in pain but after 20 minutes the pain and urgency to pee got too intense. She was shuffling round in her seat and Emily gave her a worried look.

“Jayje you okay?”

“Yeah just need to pee. That’s all.” She replied. “I’ll be fine until we get to work though.” Although she wasn’t sure she would be. Worst case scenario she had a change of clothes in her go bag.

“Again?” Emily asked.

“Yeah again. Just the coffee hitting my bladder.” She responded.

Emily watched her girlfriend. Noticing the shuffling in the seat the pained expression on her face as they finished the journey to work. Once they arrived JJ bolted straight for the restroom, passing only a small painful stream before heading to her desk, walking stiffly with her hand over her lower abdomen.

Before the case briefing at 10 JJ had already visited the restroom at work 4 times.

“You okay JJ?” Tara asked. Noticing her friends behaviour was off.

“Yeah. Just too much coffee that’s all.” She lied. As they went into the roundtable room.

JJ struggled to sit through the briefing. 3 girls had gone missing in Seattle. She was noticeably quieter than usual. Trying to focus but the pain from her bladder cutting through and taking it away.

She practically bolted to the restroom after but by the time they boarded the jet 30 minutes later her bladder was screaming at her again. It felt like there were 1000 tiny shards of glass in it. Normally they’d spend the time on the jet getting a head start on the case but JJ couldn’t focus. She sat closest to the aisle so she could go to the small plane restroom as soon as the seatbelt lights came off.

Whilst they were talking about the case JJ slipped out to the back of the jet, Emily watched her closely. Noticing the stiff gate and hunched posture. JJ spent 10 minutes in that restroom and returned 4 times throughout the flight.

When Emily handed out the assignments she sent Tara and Rossi to the abduction site, with Luke, her and JJ going to the field office to set up and interview the families of the teenagers. She could tell something was up with JJ by the sheer number of restroom visits she’d made today and wanted to make sure she was close to a toilet and Emily could keep an eye on her.

By the time the jet landed JJ’s body and bladder felt like a furnace. She carefully walked down the steps of the jet, trying to modulate her facial expressions so the team didn’t realise she was in pain. She knew Emily knew by the way Emily had been closely watching her girlfriend. But she didn’t want the guys knowing about this particular issue. And they had 3 girls to save. That was far more important than her bladder. She hoped she could just ignore it and deal with it once the kids were found.

The drive to the field office was brutal. Emily was driving, Luke was in the back seat and JJ was sat in the passenger seat, her knuckles white from how hard she was gripping on. Emily’s eyes were saying “talk to me”, but she couldn’t. Not with Luke in the back.

JJ had leaked a small amount of urine in her underwear by the time they got to the field office and rushed straight to the restroom once the necessary introductions were done. She was back and forth like a yo-yo for the rest of the day.

By the time they got to the hotel for a few hours of necessary sleep the fire in her bladder was raging. “Jayje talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” Emily said, once the door was shut beside them and the boys and local agents and cops weren’t around.

“I’ve got a bladder infection Emily. It’s bad.” She replied, feeling the urgency get to much and heading straight to the restroom. Emily noticed a small wet patch on the back of her pants when she went into the restroom and realised she must have had a small accident in the SUV. “Oh Jen” she thought. She wished JJ had told her before they headed across the country. If she had she would have told her girlfriend to take a sick day or stay in quantico and work with Garcia on this one.

When JJ came out of the restroom after going to the loo and having a quick shower she had changed into her pyjamas and took a couple of ibuprofen.

“Do you want my electric heat pad?” Emily asked. She still had some tummy problems after Doyle so always carried one around with her.

“Yeah. Please.” JJ replied, getting into bed. Her bladder still felt like it was on fire and had a bowling ball in it, even though she’d just emptied it.

Emily plugged the heat pad into the wall beside JJ. “Here.” She replied, before getting ready for bed herself and crawling into bed beside JJ.

JJ felt like she needed to go again urgently. She knew it was a phantom urge but that didn’t reduce the signals her body was sending her. She waited until Emily started softly snoring and went to go to the loo, being careful to not wake Emily.

JJ stayed there all night. By the time Emily’s alarm went off JJ looked and felt exhausted. “You’ve not slept have you.”

Emily stated.

“No. I had to pee every 20 minutes.” JJ replied. “I’ll be okay though. We need to find these girls.”

“Okay. But tell me if you aren’t yeah?” Emily asked.

“Yeah.” JJ replied, getting herself ready to head to the field office with Emily.

“And Jen. Tell me if you need me to pull the SUV over for you to pee.”

“But Tara. And the boys.”

“I’ll make them look away if you have to squat behind the car.” Emily replied.

“Thanks Em.” JJ replied.

They headed to the field office after breakfast. JJ ran to the restroom once they arrived.

“Hey is JJ okay?” Tara asked Emily.

“No. She’s sick.” Emily replied. “I’ve got her though don’t worry.”

“Bladder infection?” Tara asked. She got them herself a couple of times a year and noticed the telltale stiff rushed walks to the restroom, shuffling when seated and the way JJ was drinking more water than usual to try and flush it out.

“Yeah.” Emily answered.

The team found the girls that evening and headed back to the airstrip at 10pm. Emily was in the SUV with JJ and Tara and Luke and Rossi were in a second one behind them. “Pull over Em. Now.” JJ told her girlfriend. She felt the urine in her bladder threaten to explode out of her and she didn’t have time to wait until they got to a fast food restaurant, garage or the airport.

Emily pulled over on the shoulder and JJ Got herself out of the car, heading into the treeline for a bit of cover. “It’s getting worse Emily.” Tara said as they waited for JJ to come back from the car. “She only went 10 minutes ago.”

“I know Tara. I’m going to give her my heat pad on the jet and I’ll take her to urgent care once we land.” Emily replied. Worried about her girlfriend.

Emily had to pull over another two times before they got to the airstrip and could tell JJ was in significant pain even after emptying her bladder. “You just lie down and rest okay.” She told JJ once they boarded the jet.

When they finally boarded the jet, the adrenaline of rescuing the three girls began to fade, leaving JJ completely defenseless against the agony in her pelvis. She sank into the nearest seat, her face pale and drawn.

As the jet reached cruising altitude, Rossi and Luke walked over from the kitchen area, both wearing expressions of quiet concern.

"Hey, JJ," Luke said softly, leaning against the seatback. "You alright? You've been looking pretty rough since yesterday."

Rossi nodded, setting a fresh cup of herbal tea down on the table in front of her. "And you haven't touched your paperwork, kiddo. That’s not like you. You're practically vibrating."

JJ swallowed hard, trying to summon her usual stoic demeanor, but a sudden, sharp spasm in her bladder made her gasp and press her hand tightly against her lower abdomen. "I'm fine, guys. Just... really exhausted. Good job today."

Emily stepped in seamlessly, placing a protective hand on JJ's shoulder. "She's coming down with a nasty bug, boys. I've got her. Let's just let her rest for the flight."

Rossi and Luke exchanged a knowing, sympathetic glance. They didn't push further, giving JJ a gentle pat on the shoulder before retreating to the back of the jet to afford her some privacy.

The journey back to Quantico was a grueling test of endurance. Emily, utterly drained from the intensity of the case and the stress of watching her girlfriend suffer, eventually succumbed to exhaustion. She drifted off to sleep in her seat, as did the rest of the team.

JJ, however, spent the flight living in the aircraft's tiny restroom.

Every ten to fifteen minutes, the agonizing, phantom urge would strike again. She would quietly slip out of her seat, trying not to wake Emily, and lock herself in the bathroom. There, she would sit in agonizing silence, crying softly as only a few burning drops passed. The interior of her bladder felt like it was lined with sandpaper and it felt like there was a bowling ball weighing it down despite being practically empty. She spent more time on that cold bathroom floor than she did in her actual seat, counting the minutes until they landed.

By the time the wheels touched the tarmac at Andrews Air Force Base, JJ was running on absolute empty. The sheer physical toll of the pain combined with over 36 hours of total sleep deprivation had wiped out her reserves.

As she stood up to exit the jet, the cabin tilted violently. Her knees buckled, and she pitched forward.

“Whoa, Jen!" Emily cried out, and catching JJ before she hit the floor.

Luke and Rossi were by their side in a second. "Do we need an ambulance?" Luke asked, his face etched with worry.

"No, no ambulance," JJ whispered, her voice barely audible as she leaned heavily against Emily, her eyes fluttering. "Just... urgent care. Please."

“I've got her," Emily told the guys, wrapping a strong arm around JJ’s waist to take her weight. "Go home, get some rest. I'm taking her straight to the clinic."

The journey to the 24-hour urgent care clinic was a nightmare. Even in the middle of the night, Emily had to pull the SUV over twice into gas station parking lots so JJ could stumble into the restrooms, crying from the sheer urgency that refused to relent.

At the clinic, the diagnosis was quick. The doctor confirmed a severe case of acute cystitis.

“It's a particularly aggressive bladder infection," the physician explained, handing Emily a prescription. "The inflammation is severe, which explains the constant urgency and the physical exhaustion. We're going to start her on strong antibiotics immediately."

They stopped at a 24-hour pharmacy to fetch the medication, and JJ took the first dose right there in the passenger seat, washing it down with a small sip of water.

It was exactly 5:00 AM when Emily finally unlocked the front door of their house. The morning was perfectly still, and the house was dark. Upstairs, Henry and Michael were both fast asleep.

JJ could barely stand. Emily guided her upstairs to their bathroom, whispering comforting words. "Hold on, Jayje. Let's get you into a hot bath. It'll help soothe the spasms."

Emily turned on the taps, letting the tub fill with deep, warm water. She helped JJ undress and ease into the bath. As the heat enveloped her lower abdomen, JJ let out a long, shuddering breath, the tension finally leaving her shoulders. For the first time in two days, the white-hot agony in her pelvis began to dull to a manageable ache.

After a good soak, Emily helped her dry off, tucking her into fresh, clean pajamas. The moment JJ's head hit the pillow, the combination of the antibiotics, the warm bath, and sheer exhaustion pulled her into a deep, dead sleep. Emily kissed her forehead, quietly closed the bedroom door, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

At 8:00 AM, the soft patter of feet on the stairs signaled Michael’s arrival. He walked into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, and looked surprised to see Emily standing by the stove.

“Hey, buddy," Emily said softly, giving him a warm smile. "Hungry? I’m making pancakes."

Michael’s face lit up, and he sat down at the island. A couple of hours later, around 10:00 AM, a much heavier set of footsteps shuffled down the stairs. Henry walked in, his hair a messy mop, sniffing the air.

“Pancakes?" Henry asked, his voice deep. Then he caught sight of Emily’s tired face and the faint dark circles under her eyes. "Hey, Emily. Have you even slept?"

Emily smiled gently, flipping another golden pancake onto a plate. "I slept a bit on the jet, and I got a couple of hours in once we got home. I'm okay."

“Where’s mom? She’s normally down by now.” Henry asked Emily.

“She’s sleeping bud. She has a really bad bladder infection and hasn't slept at all since we left for the case. I need you both to keep it really quiet upstairs today so she can rest. No shouting, keep the TV low, okay?"

“Is she gonna be alright?" Michael asked, looking up from his breakfast with worried eyes.

“Yeah, buddy. She has medicine now," Emily reassured him, rubbing his shoulder. "She just needs to catch up on sleep.”

“We'll keep it quiet, don't worry," Henry promised.

Despite the antibiotics finally working to kill the infection, the rest of the weekend was incredibly rough. JJ spent the vast majority of it either dead to the world in bed, or locked in the bathroom dealing with the lingering, stubborn spasms.

By Sunday afternoon, she was sitting on the edge of the bed, tears of pure frustration slipping down her face as Emily walked in with a fresh glass of water.

“Hey," Emily murmured, sitting beside her and rubbing her back. "What's wrong? Is the pain getting worse again?"

“No, it's... it's a little better," JJ choked out, wiping her eyes angrily. "I just hate this, Em. I barely get any quality time with the boys between the cases as it is. We finally get home for the weekend, and instead of hanging out with them, I'm stuck sleeping through the days or practically living on the toilet. I feel like I'm missing everything."

Emily pulled JJ into a gentle, protective embrace, letting her girlfriend rest her heavy head against her shoulder. "Oh, Jayje. Look at me. They know you're sick. Henry and Michael don't think you're abandoning them; they just want you to feel better. You saved three girls this week, and your body paid the price. Let yourself heal. The boys aren't going anywhere, and we'll make up for the lost time next weekend. I promise."