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@spookydazechaos
OK I see a couple of new followers and I cannot tell if you're bots or not because you've got not-porny pictures for your profiles but that is LITERALLY ALL YOU HAVE so I'm gonna give you a day or two to post or reblog something to prove you're not a spambot. If at the end of this period you still have a blank profile I'm gonna block you. Sorry if you were a real person.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Okay, listen.
Iām keeping Asa and Anthony. I mean, look at them. All sweet and OLD. With their little sweaters and matching lawn chairs. Subtle frangrance of Earl Grey and Bengay wafting after them wherever they go.
Theyāre CUTE.
And Slorch is a winner I donāt care what anyone says. Gimme that goth queen with his Muriel Deetz sidekick.
The Ice Cream Bentley has a permitted spot in my heartās garage, next to Deanās Baby.
Jesus, sorry you didnāt get enough screen time, kid. You seemed nice. I liked you WAY better than Mel āThat Fucking Psychoā Gibsonās version.
That being said, I am not going to be trading in the OLD universe either. I like this universe. Itās cosy,dependable and talk about ROOMY! You can fit all kinds of stuff in here. The eldritch horrors learning how to be human, the biblical lore but FUNNY and the oh so juicy religious trauma! Mr. Brown with his disturbingly toned glutes alone is worth keeping it around. (Oh, thatās not canon? Thatās just me being a weirdo? Huh.)
Plus Aziraphale is PEAK. Heās Aura. Heās SKIBIDIokay I donāt know cool kid lingo.
Heās MY GUY (shoves Castiel out of the way.)
Iām not giving up on MY GUY(avoids eye contact with Samwise Gamgee.)
You donāt Thanos MY GUYYYY (steps over drunken wet cat Spike) and expect me to be cool with it. Iām VERY not cool with it.
*insert Elmo surrounded by flames meme here*
Just like a vampire who had a cup of rice thrown at their feet, I am sat down and focused on picking up those little angel atoms. I got my Elmerās glue and a mighty need to avoid reading anymore Breaking News these days. Have you SEEN whatās happening out in the wild? NOT GREAT, BOB.
I got the time, is what Iām saying.
So donāt be surprised when (when NOT if) you see a post of mine and itās the NEW universe and the OLD universe together doing really weird things with their tongues.
Smug face of a free man
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. š.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
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Cosign.
[OC] SOMEDAY A MORTICIAN GETS TO SUPERGLUE HIS LIPS SHUT, Seen in Cleveland
Official ominous sign
Welp, it's been about a month, and I finally have the energy to try to convey my thoughts on the Good Omens finale. Yeah, I know, old news at this point, but what's the point of Tumblr other than talking to myself about my feelings?
Anyways, this is coming from someone who isn't a massive, longterm GO fan. I did not wait years for this finale. I am not heavily bound to these characters (though I have developed my usual maternal feelings towards Crowley pretty quickly, so there's that). I didn't go through the emotional upheaval surrounding the news that the writer is a vile sexual predator. Essentially: I don't go here. I'm not an appreciable part of this fandom.
So I feel like it means something kind of negative when the finale had even me - all but an outsider - kind of grimacing at her screen.
NOT mine I found it on pinterest, but God did it make me laugh. So. Have a laugh, everyone
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber
sergeant shadwell being both crowley and aziraphaleās secret human āarmyā is so funny like what else did they pay him for throughout the years? surely not to find witches. my headcanon is that they both used him to spy on the otherās whereabouts
Let's say there is this computer game you enjoy playing, right? You love this game. You invest hours and hours of your time playing it. Years, even. Itās a great game.
Only problem is there is some kind of glitch purpose-built into the code that makes the game constantly threaten to crash. Bit shit of the creators to work that in there. But that's fine, you're still having fun. It's a really fascinating open-world game with tons of options and players have total leeway for decision-making. A game where every choice matters.
One day, the big one happensāthe big crash. It really looks like all of your progress is wiped out. Somehow, you manage to get the head game developer over to your house. The developer tells you that they have the willingness and ability to pretty much do whatever you want (turns out, they've been watching your progress and you're their favourite player). You could ask them to make your computer 3D print ice cream. They are literally just that powerful.
Ok, so, since anything is on the table, at minimum what you should probably do is have the developer reboot the game from the last save file and ask them to remove the code that keeps making the game glitch so that you can continue playing without the constant risk of a crash.
Instead, you tell the developer they can delete all the backup files and just start the game over for you from scratch. You want a "real" game where a player's choices matter. (It has already been established that your choices matter in the game.)
Also, you let the developer make you burst into confetti along with the love of your life. They replace you both with clones who have worse hair, none of your history or memories, and few of your defining personality traits except for a couple of hobbies and maybe a catchphrase. They will play the game in your stead.
Well, something similar happened to my good friend Crowley.
Recommendations for Alternative Sequels to GO Book/S1
Here are the fics that set my ridiculously high expectations for any sort of sequel(s). I have lots of favorite fics out there, and there are plenty of great recommendations in general, but I'd like to focus SPECIFICALLY on post-book/s1 canon compliant fics written before s2 was announced. Would love a thread of these, so please reblog and add your own fic recs that you think would make a great sequel!
Category 1: Top 3 Recommendations
In All Things, Balance by Kedreeva (T, 17k, 2019)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320441
GO READ IT! In the back of my mind, I always considered this to be canon, which I didn't realize until actual canon didn't meet those expectations. Missing a bit on the human side of things, but otherwise a fantastic alternative.
Choices by Bookwormgal (T, 154k, 2019-2022, 8 part series)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739542
Humans from the book continue the story with Heaven and Hell. Honestly I read this so long ago that I don't remember much, but I do recall that this filled the void of how flat the human characters (particularly the children) were written in the adaptation (i.e. s1)
Akashic Records by peniG (G/T, 206k, 2019-2020, 26 part series)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446628
To skip straight to the sequel-to-book/s1, start with part 21, although I highly recommend the full series. This has, hands down, always been the canon I've been missing. This fills in all the gaps we don't have in the source material in a satisfying way while staying true to the characters and themes. They really respect both Aziraphale and Crowley as intelligent, experienced partners who are clever and fallible and perfect.
Additional recommendations under the cut!
Recommendations for Alternative Sequels to GO Book/S1
Here are the fics that set my ridiculously high expectations for any sort of sequel(s). I have lots of favorite fics out there, and there are plenty of great recommendations in general, but I'd like to focus SPECIFICALLY on post-book/s1 canon compliant fics written before s2 was announced. Would love a thread of these, so please reblog and add your own fic recs that you think would make a great sequel!
Category 1: Top 3 Recommendations
In All Things, Balance by Kedreeva (T, 17k, 2019)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320441
GO READ IT! In the back of my mind, I always considered this to be canon, which I didn't realize until actual canon didn't meet those expectations. Missing a bit on the human side of things, but otherwise a fantastic alternative.
Choices by Bookwormgal (T, 154k, 2019-2022, 8 part series)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739542
Humans from the book continue the story with Heaven and Hell. Honestly I read this so long ago that I don't remember much, but I do recall that this filled the void of how flat the human characters (particularly the children) were written in the adaptation (i.e. s1)
Akashic Records by peniG (G/T, 206k, 2019-2020, 26 part series)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446628
To skip straight to the sequel-to-book/s1, start with part 21, although I highly recommend the full series. This has, hands down, always been the canon I've been missing. This fills in all the gaps we don't have in the source material in a satisfying way while staying true to the characters and themes. They really respect both Aziraphale and Crowley as intelligent, experienced partners who are clever and fallible and perfect.
Additional recommendations under the cut!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care
Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didnāt was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when Iām feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam
Iād also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I canāt remember the term because weāve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever sheās feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because theyāre repetitive and easy things to do that ground her
Now that Iām thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesnāt talk and doesnāt eat unless heās prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because heās so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things
Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies
Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like weāre five again and sings us songs
Uh.... wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-
āI didnāt know I had adhd because my mom gave me such an effective coping mechanismā is such a high bar to clear and she soared over it like a space-plane.
