EMERGENCY NOODS

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

I love opening up this website first thing like the morning paper and immediately seeing multiple posts like "how to get rid of the evil clown on the dashboard". like oh is this what we're doing today

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

your honour, permission to call the jury "chat"

omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all

it's always "take off the amulet it's cursed" and "cast it into the flames before corrupts your soul" and never "woah cool amulet where did you get it" or "i like your amulet it looks nice on you"

i never know how explicit to make the sex scenes in my books. do i placate the ppl who think that saying the word ‘cock’ is basically porn or do i write for my fellow degenerates who want all the horny details

u know what ur so right

"you've got six names and two pronoun sets in your bio, how should people refer to you?" easy. every time you want to talk to or about me you roll 1d6 for name and flip a coin for pronoun set. if you've got an INT stat of 15 or lower you also have to roll to see whether you survive my eldritch blast, but that's mostly unrelated

On one hand, I can count to five. On the other hand though? I can also count to five.