jude feels that admission hit him slower than the kiss, but heavier. tired of pretending i donโt want you. it isn't coy, or dressed up. it isn't padded with humor or bravado or an easy exit. it's breathless and exposed in a way they usually swerve around at full speed. and for a dangerous second, he considers answering honestly (not out loud, never out loud) but with the way his body has already betrayed him.
their hands tighten at the other's hips, fingers digging in with quiet insistence, like they need the pressure to stay anchored in this moment. like he needs to prove to himself that teddy is real, warm, and here. their mouth drifts from teddy's lips to his jaw, teeth grazing just enough to pull a sound before their lips follow. he takes his time there, mapping familiar skin like he hasn't already imagined doing this a hundred times. they like the way teddy reacts. likes how easily teddy gives him those little tells. likes knowing teddy wants this just as badly as they do.
pretending has always been their shared language. pretending it's just heat, habit, and that it doesn't linger. teddy just admitted heโs done pretending, and instead of panic, jude feels something dark and hungry coil low in his stomach. not fear or regret, but pure, unfiltered want.
"yeah?" they murmur against teddyโs skin, their voice rough and edged with intent. "good."
his knee presses in again, slow and purposeful now, a steady line of contact that leaves no room for misunderstanding. their hands slide from teddy's hips to his lower back, flattening there, pulling him flush against them. he can feel the heat between their bodies, the tension, the way the other's breath stutters when they're this close. jude pretends not to notice how natural it feels to hold him there, and clock the fact that he hasn't once considered letting go.
they don't talk about feelings. he lets them leak out through touch. their mouth moves lower, brushing along teddy's throat, lingering at the pulse under their lips. he presses a slow kiss there, then another, then lets his lips drag, open-mouthed, just enough to make it messy. their breath ghosts hot over skin. his teeth catch lightly, not enough to hurt, just enough to make teddy feel it.
when jude finally lifts their head, their foreheads brush, noses bumping, breath shared and uneven. "you have no idea," he says quietly, like the truth slipped past his defenses before he could stop it, "how long i've been pretending too."
they don't give teddy space to overthink it before they kiss him again. slow. deep. lips parting, tongue sliding in like he's in no rush, like he plans to learn every sound teddy makes, every way his body responds. itโs heavy with intent, heavy with choice.
still avoidant.
still refusing to name what this is.
but very clearly, very intentionally, wanting him.