The Original Splashdunk

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Gladly, faggot. Here’s 25 tasks — more than double what you requested. Now be a good pig and get to work!

Stick your head in your toilet at home and flush.

Visit the mensroom at your local bar, fast food restaurant, gas station—whatever’s convenient—and clean the urinals with your tongue. Piss stains, stray pubes, loogies, cigarette butts—whatever’s on or in the urinal should end up in your mouth, then in your belly.

For a whole day, collect your piss or your Sir’s piss in bottles; at the end of the day, use an enema to douche yourself with the piss.

Challenge yourself to make a tasty “cock”-tail that utilizes piss and alcohol as main ingredients (along with whatever other mixers and ingredients you deem appropriate), then post the recipe online for your fellow faggots to make at home.

Take some empty milk jugs to the local gas station, mall, truck stop, etc., and fill them with piss and toilet water you find in the toilets. Take the jugs home and use them to bathe with.

Ask your Sir to fill a water bottle with his piss. Go to the gym and exercise. Use His piss to hydrate.

Visit a local leather or kink bar and kneel beside the urinals. Spend an hour or two there and see what the Men do. Will they laugh? Will they piss on you? Will they ignore you? Will they piss down your throat? Whatever they do, you must stay put and behave like you’re just another one of urinals.

Get a popsicle mold and fill it will your piss or your Sir’s piss. Freeze. Enjoy a tasty frozen treat, or use the piss-cicle to fuck yourself.

Drop three apples into a piss-filled toilet. Get on your knees. Go bobbing for apples!

Visit a bar. Remove your underwear in the mensroom. Ball them up and put them in a urinal beside the urinal cake. Return an hour or a few hours later. Fetch your underwear, which should now be soaked with piss. Put them back on and wear them the rest of the night.

Visit your local truck stop. Scour the grounds and garbage cans to find a “trucker bomb” (a container a truck driver used to piss in while He was on the road). Chug it.

Go on Craigslist and advertise yourself as a urinal, either in your own home or in a secure public restroom somewhere. Establish “office hours” during which the “urinal” will be open and invite Men to come empty their bladder. Keep a tally of how many piss loads you drink.

Visit a bathhouse. Write “urinal” on your lower back and draw an arrow pointing to your cunt. Bend over and allow Men to come deposit their piss when they need to take a pee break.

Purchase a piss gag. Use it.

Hungry? Go to a mensroom. Bring a piece of bread with you. Use the bread to wipe the rim of the urinals. Eat up.

When you brush your teeth, use piss instead of water to wet the toothbrush.

Forbid yourself from using the toilet for a day. Instead, pee in bowls, glasses, etc. Store it in the fridge. At the end of the day, you must drink everything that you pissed out over the course of the day.

Have Your Sir piss all over the toilet and floor. Use your tongue to clean it up.

Instead of milk, eat your morning cereal with piss.

Soak a pair of underwear with your piss or your Sir’s piss. Wring the undies out into your mouth.

Fill a glass with piss — yours or your Sir’s. Drink it with a straw.

Fill a jug with piss. Use it to wash your hair. The piss must be used to create lather, and to rinse the lather from your hair. Style your hair as usual before you leave the house.

Piss yourself in public.

Make a can of condensed soup for lunch. Like chicken noodle. Instead of adding a can of water, add a can of piss.