driven by spite

this is how it feels when the fires can’t hurt me anymore

You’re going to regret it You’re going to regret it You’re going to regret it You’re going to regret it You’re going to regret it

We’re invincible. Nothing can hurt us, we’re too stubborn.

This is about whatever I want it to be. There is no path to follow.

This is about fighting back. To make them angry.

hell is your room in the dead of night and forgotten lyrics to songs that once felt like our entire soul

hell is wandering the trailer park at one in the morning with a cold can of ginger ale in your hand and no shoes on, staring into the trees and getting this strange notion that something is dragging you in. 

Hell is sitting on the fire escape stairs and filling your body with poison while remembering how many friends you’ve pushed away.

Hell is looking into the eyes of those you care about and realizing they’ve always been that cold.

hell is knuckle deep in the ashes of the city you burned burned burned to the ground as you try to find the remnants of what once was before the fire came

hell is crying my eyes out underneath the stars, screaming out questions that will never be heard or answered, feeling this sinking feeling that the rest of your life will not get any better

hell is realizing that this place is a truly dog-eat-dog world, with even ones you thought as friends disappearing faster than you can kill them

hell is walking through the doors of the home you thought you’d burned down, wearing a smile and looking at all the masks that greet you

I stopped and suddenly realized I hated this. And so I left. It sounds way simpler than it was but in the end, I was gone, they remained, and I was so much better off. 

It was your decision to create my life, but it’s my decision to live my life.