Southern Girl

Aries: Eating a pomegranate in your underwear may not be the best way to start the day, but it is far from the worst.

Taurus: The moon misses you, do you miss it to?

Gemini: Sometimes the harder we repress something, the stronger it resists. Let it go.

Cancer: There is conflict in your future in the form of four identical clones of yourself that you must defeat gauntlet-style.

Leo: The bones of something old and colossal are buried beneath you. It listens.

Virgo: Things were not better back then, only different. Nostalgia is a trap.

Libra: Tomorrow you may wake up to find another egg in your bed.

Scorpio: Get a much needed break by faking your death and living in a cave for several years.

Ophiuchus: With attention and focus you will finally gain control of your monkey powers.

Sagittarius: Ponder your place in the world by setting things on fire until someone asks you to stop.

Capricorn: The stars and I are sorry to report that unfortunately you cannot get a forearm cannon yet.

Aquarius: You are NOT a badger. Remember this. If you are ever confused, just remember you are NOT a badger, have never been a badger, and will never be a badger.