"Oh, how dare they give Notorious Shitheel Character a tragic backstory, they just want us to feel sorry for them! It's just making excuses!"
No. They want you to realize Notorious Shitheel is a person, too. That's all you need to take from this. That piece of shit was somebody's baby, somebody's child, who just wanted to be loved and wasn't and their heart turned to poison as a result.
You don't have to feel sorry for them, or pity them, or think the backstory makes their actions okay. But the backstory informs those actions and gives context and you can see the full shape of the person with that knowledge. You can see that it's self-hatred boiling until it blisters, lashing out at others because if you just keep hurting other people, no one will see your own pain or want you close enough to take a risk.
It's a weapon that otherwise turns in on itself.
My partner worked for years at a domestic violence shelter. One thing that he would emphasize is that people in shitty situations who need help aren't always good or nice people. But that doesn't mean they don't need help. Someone can be an absolute jerk and also be desperate for a safe place to sleep.
You don't have to feel sorry for someone to understand them.




















