it’s Me Again

Rearranged my entire room hopefully that means I’m out of my executive dysfunction slump

I want big boots that are big and aways unlaced and falling apart, i want boots that are cool and awesome and falling apart and big

I think being suicidal is something that completely killed the joy i used to have of watching horror movies (supernatural ones specifically), because like ok alright a demon is haunting my house and trying to kill me? Fuck can I do about that? I don’t know how to pray, I don’t own a gun and I am seriously unable to throw fists so I guess I might as well just die

I lost years of writing after my account got nuked because I was dumb enough to exclusively write my bad poetry and music on my tumblr blog

There are so many things I’d love to pursue if I didn’t spend my entire life dealing with anxiety and depression, and I guess atp everything that requires me to leave my comfort zone is just way too much

Tomorrow is another day this isn’t the end of the world im going to be okay i want to be okay

I was never what you needed, I was never what you wanted, I was never really loved by you, I was idealized I was never real, I was what you wanted me to be and I was fine with it but you got tired of playing pretend.