_paperartist

Scout chuckled fondly at the memory as he let light into the room, looking out into the desert. It x wouldn’t really matter, he wouldn’t be in his room much that day, but it still was remembered, so he figured it was worth it to at least pull them up. And, well, the view was nice. His smile fell a little when he realized why he remembered to open it.

He didn’t expect to become friends with Sniper. Or, more like he didn’t expect that Sniper wanted to be friends with him.

The active chatterbox and the quiet bushman. Who would’ve guessed?

The door closed behind him as he made his way through the hall. Faintly, chaos could be heard from the common room. Demo, Soldier, Engie, maybe Pyro? He was tempted to join for a second but, no, he had somewhere important to be.

It had been a few months since that conversation. Since then, Sniper took to spending more time with Scout, and vice versa. To his surprise, the runner actually found camping really really nice if he camped with someone else. Sniper replied, sheepish, that he liked it better with someone else too.

He started talking a lot more, telling anecdotes of his old life before RED. And each story he told, each little memory he shared, had an enthusiastic listener. 

That was all they'd been doing, actually. They'd sit in either of their rooms, sometimes with a record on in the background, and they just talked until they had to call it a night. And, well, sometimes one of them would sleep over, and that was nice, but that was about it.

He thought today would be no different, but he was incorrect.

Sniper had approached before battle, and Scout expected the usual (“Come ‘round mine later?” “Yeah, sure!”), but Sniper went up to him with “I have something important to say” instead. 

So he cancelled like all his plans that day and started heading over to the van maybe thirty minutes before they agreed to meet up. But he wasn't worried about it. He wasn't distracted the whole day during battle. And his hands very much were not fidgeting on the way over, thank you very much.

He should probably stop doing that.

The closest thing to his stomach literally twisting happened when he left the base and saw the camper. It was pretty late into the afternoon, close to sunset. As he walked over, he became more aware of the campfire crackling behind the vehicle, and behind that, Sniper. He was prodding at the fire, other hand twisted in the hem of his shirt. His head shot up as Scout got closer, smiling a little.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Scout sat down next to Sniper, crossing his legs. Sniper took his hat off, keeping his shades.

“Mate, you okay?” Sniper asked, confused.

“Uh… yeah?” He let out a little laugh. “Why?”

“‘S like you’re about to jump off a plane, you look so nervous.”

“What? I’m— I’m not nervous. If anything, uh, are… you okay?”

“Yeah.”

Scout tilted his head.

“Right, tóuche,” he laughed.

“Well, uh… uh, what did you wanna talk about?” Scout finally asked.

Sniper was silent for a second, staring into the fire, then sighed. “I said, when we had that talk, that there was something I couldn’t talk about yet.” Scout nodded. “You remember that day, er, Truckie was on a supply run and you invited me out?”

“...Yeah?”

“Well, er… I felt I had to, sort of, make up for that. By talking.” 

Scout stayed quiet, waiting.

Sniper couldn’t seem to look him in the eyes, staring into the fire instead. “It’s just… in my head, there’s an analogy I’ve had for a while where… things… that you think you want or want to do, are the ocean.”

“The ocean?”

“Yeah. And, a few years ago, I tried something, dipped my toes in the water, and… well the best way I can describe it is that there was a sudden tide that pulled me in. Pulled me under.”

“And… you couldn’t get out?” Scout asked.

“That’s the thing, I,” a breath, “I could. It’s like everything you can get roped into, there’s always a rope out. I could’ve told ‘er, I could’ve stopped at any time, but I… I didn’t. And, this may sound silly, but over the years, I sort of… started to think of it as laying on the bottom of the ocean, suffocating, but doing it anyways ‘cause the floor’s lonely.”

“...Damn,’ Scout said for lack of anything else.

“Yeah,” Sniper laughed nervously. “And ever since then, I was so scared of going back. Too scared to even go near the sand. Tried it once, don’t need to again, right?” Scout nodded. “But then… you came along. And suddenly, I started wanting to again. Bloody hell I wanted to go back, I really did. But when you invited me out to drinks that day, it… it reminded me too much of that other time. And I panicked. I shut you out. You didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s… okay,” Scout assured slowly. Sniper hummed, glanced up, glanced back down.

“Point is, I… I want to try. It’s just that I’m so scared of… drowning again.”

Scout picked at the hem of his shirt, sifting through the words in his head. Finally, he spoke. “What if… what if you take it slow? Just get your feet wet. Or even sit around in the sand, get used to the sound of the waves first.”

Sniper met his eyes again, and behind the storm clouds, there was a glimmer of hope.

“Like, there’s no rush to it. No one to push you in anymore. You’re free to… take it easy, do whatever you want. If you wanna… stay at the sand first, or… dip your toes in to test the water first, then do that. If you wanna just sit in the shallow bit and watch, then do it.”

Sniper considered that. “What if the tide pulls me in again? What if I can’t get out?”

“...Well, on the small, off-chance that it does happen… count on me to pull you out.”

For a second, Scout swore that he could see Sniper’s eyes shine brighter under his glasses. “I think I’d like that,” he said.

“Really?”

Sniper nodded. “Next weekend, er, is Truckie gonna go to town?”

“Yeah.”

Sniper looked away again, at the sun dipping down into the horizon. In his life, he’d never been this relaxed. “You wanna go together? Make up for lost time?”

“Yeah,” he said again, smiling.. “And… drinks?”

“Of course,” he said, smiling too.

So, here we are. I did it! my first multi-chaptered fic, complete! it's been a wild, wild ride, hasn't it?

thank you for going on this journey with me. I love each and every one of you who's read, interacted with, or commented on this fic. It makes me so so happy to see all of you enjoy what i've made. And maybe in the future, we'll all be doing this song and dance again with a new fic I have in mind. And again, thank you all so so much.

In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night <3

-

Spy gave him a once-over, and his expression shifted from neutral to judgemental in an instant. “You look terrible.”

“Not an answer.” 

“Yet it remains true,” Spy shot back. “Really, if you are to request anything, at the very least look decent.”

Sniper only had the time to huff before Spy started speaking again.

“Really, when was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror? Better question, when was the last time you shaved? Or showered, for that matter? You look worse than a homeless man.”

“Look, if you ain't gonna help—”

“I'm not finished,” Spy said, cutting off him and that train of thought. Sniper could practically hear his eyes rolling. “That stain on your collar and the mud caked on the cuff of your jeans tell me you haven't done your laundry in at least a week. The dampness of your hair tells me that you haven't washed it at all, only managed to get it wet and out of the way. Lord knows what you're still doing with your sunglasses on indoors, and I can only imagine why your fingers are that injured. Go to the infirmary, for Heaven’s sake.”

“Ya done?” Sniper asked after a beat.

“Hardly.”

Sniper turned around, ready to just ask someone else, when—

“Scout started asking to borrow my car a few days ago. He’s been doing that practically every day. Would you care at all to tell me why?”

Oh, so no wonder Sniper couldn’t find him. He’s not even in the base. “Wait, every day? Where’s he gone off to?”

“Bushman, do not pretend you don’t know about this—”

“Mate, your guess is as good as mine,” Sniper said, cutting him off. “I didn’t know he’d disappear too. Honest.”

Spy seemed to inspect him for a few seconds, glancing up, down, up again, before relenting, expression softening. He had to look down to start talking. “Scout is a vulnerable young man. He will die in this hellhole before he admits it, but he is. You understand, oui?” Sniper gave the smallest of nods. Spy took a deep breath before continuing. “I hope you don’t make me regret trusting you with this. Now go fix the mess you made before I decide that this involves me,” he said, waving his hand.

He nodded one final time, and walked away.

-

As it turned out, Sniper probably should’ve paid more attention.

He knew that Scout’s main job was to, well, scout. That meant being somewhat in the front lines, or taking side routes to figure out the other team’s plan. Even despite that, not once did Sniper hear Scout’s voice in comms or see him through his scope. He knew the kid was getting kills, could see it from the leaderboards, but on the field he was nowhere to be seen.

That is, until Sniper respawned.

Already, he found something strange about it. The center of the battle was still pretty far away, so it was silent for the most part, which meant that he heard the faint noise immediately after respawning. As he followed the sound, he realized, delayed, that it was… crying? 

He wasn’t sure who. Maybe someone was just having a particularly bad day, or they were injured and collapsed just outside the base. There were a thousand reasons someone could be crying in the middle of a battlefield in fuckall nowhere, he wouldn’t even pretend he could guess, but maybe he could offer something if he turned the corner and—!

Sniper didn’t even have the time to process the shock in Scout’s expression before the man was grabbing his bat and running off.

…what?

There was absolutely no chance of Sniper catching up, but even then he was left frozen there, staring at the retreating figure. It took him a few moments to get his bearings, to jolt into action once again.

…okay.

He understood that, well, being on a battlefield, there was no way (and no time) to unpack that, so he just went back to work. He counted himself lucky that he caught glimpses of the runner every now and then on the field. It was nowhere near the usual amount, but it was something.

In the back of Sniper’s mind, he wondered if Scout was angry at him. He wouldn’t blame him. Then again, he remembered that the kid was apparently giving the cold shoulder to everyone. He wondered what could’ve possibly happened to leave Scout like that. He knew he probably wouldn’t be able to guess. But he couldn’t help but wonder as he took another shot.

-

Against all odds, Sniper found himself sympathizing with the enemy spy.

Because like him, he just couldn’t find the damn kid.

It really didn't help that Scout was as fast as he was, because after battle every day, he was just gone by the time Sniper got to the locker room. And on the few occasions that Sniper managed to make it to the locker rooms quickly— granted, he would be a panting, disheveled mess— all he would get to see is the sliver of a figure walking out of the showers.

And Scout was very obviously being affected by whatever happened, if his dropping scores were any indication. And Scout was very much known for being a sore loser, and also the one who gets worse with anger. Recipe for disaster. 

Sniper didn't think he could magically fix everything. That wasn't how things worked. But it seemed that no one had gotten through to Scout yet. He had to at least try.

Though, weirdly enough, he only stumbled upon Scout after he stopped trying to look.

He had almost given up by then after nearly two weeks of just looking, just wanting to head back to his camper and call it a day. But as he passed by a door, he realized that, curled up against the wall, was Scout, head in his knees.

He must have heard his footsteps, because he jolted, and locked eyes with him. “Fuck,” he muttered, uncurling, standing up—

Sniper seized his wrist without thinking, and blurted out the only words running through his head: “Please talk to me.”

Scout froze. His head was down, turned away, like he was trying to hide. Unfortunately, the shake of his hand and shoulders gave him away.

“What—” A crack in his voice, a cough. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to…” Then he realized that he didn’t actually know what he wanted to say. He let go of his wrist. “I, I just noticed that your scores were dropping—”

“Oh, so you’re here to lecture me, is that it?” he spat out, angry if not for the tremble in his voice.

“No!” Sniper clarified, recoiling. “No, God, that came out wrong. I-I just, I’ve noticed you disappearing, going out more—”

“None of your fucking business.”

“—And I couldn’t find you anywhere, and I wanted to know what the hell is wrong!” he finally said, getting to the point. “I thought that maybe you were just having a bad day, but then I saw you in battle that one time—”

“You weren’t s’pposed to see that,” Scout interrupted, ears reddening.

“I’m worried, Scout,” he admitted. “This isn’t like you, and I’m getting worried.”

Scout scoffed, “That’s surprising, you didn’t talk to me for a week and now you’re just suddenly worried?”

Sniper was surprised that that stung. “I’m… sorry about that. I got caught up in my head, it—”

“Oh, don’t fucking pretend that wasn’t ‘cause of me,” Scout gritted out, and he turned around to glare daggers at sniper, the first real eye contact between them in weeks. “I pushed too much, you got bored, so you stopped talking to me. It’s just how it goes. Don’t fuckin’ spare my feelings, I don’t need it.”

That made Sniper pause. “Is… is that why you thought I disappeared? No, it wasn’t you, it was never you, it was just—”

“Just what?” Scout all but yelled, and only then did Sniper realize that under all that anger, bubbling deep in Scout’s chest and threatening to overflow, was insecurity. Fear.

Silence. Sniper sighed.

He sunk to the ground, situating his legs for a second before patting the space next to him. Scout followed after a beat, hesitant, facing away. “What… what really happened?” Sniper asked. Not pushing, just asking.

Scout didn’t respond for a few moments. Then he let out a dry sob, head dropping to his knees again. “Just… a lot,” he started. “First it was you ditching our plan, then suddenly the whole team is busy, so I just kept going out on my own. Then my scores started dropping, and I got more pissed from that and—” he cut himself off. “It sounds stupid now that I’m saying it out loud.”

“It’s not,” Sniper assured. Scout was silent for another second.

“I thought… so you aren’t pissed at me?” Scout asked, facing him again.

“Nah, no. I don’t think I could be pissed at you.”

Scout hummed. “Then… why’d you ditch? Why’d you stop talking to us?”

Sniper considered the question, considered actually explaining. “I can’t get into it. Not right now.”

Scout looked at him for another second before turning away. “Okay.”

Silence. 

“You hungry?” Sniper asked suddenly. Scout considered it, then nodded. “Food?” he suggested, and that got another nod, the other man wiping his face and standing up.

-

Hey, guys. So... it's been a while.

(This'll be long, feel free to skip.)

I'm sorry it took so long to get this out. Writer's block hit me hard, and I stopped writing for a while. Then, when I did want to start writing again, school started. And after a day of that, I got hospitalized.

You heard it here folks, I've been ao3 cursed!

Well, I got out after a week, and I was planning on maybe writing again. But then all the school work I missed crashed down on me. Then Deltarune released, and I had to get on that train. It was just... a wild ride. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Well, thank you for reading my fic. There's gonna be an epilogue soon, where I'll show the conversation concept that started this all. See you then.

word count: 1,675

Hey, guys. So... it's been a while.

(This'll be long, feel free to skip.)

I'm sorry it took so long to get this out. Writer's block hit me hard, and I stopped writing for a while. Then, when I did want to start writing again, school started. And after a day of that, I got hospitalized.

You heard it here folks, I've been ao3 cursed!

Well, I got out after a week, and I was planning on maybe writing again. But then all the school work I missed crashed down on me. Then Deltarune released, and I had to get on that train. It was just... a wild ride. Sorry to keep you waiting.

Well, thank you for reading my fic. There's gonna be an epilogue soon, where I'll show the conversation concept that started this all. See you then.