It's quite astonishing how you always try to find any meaning in his lips. To you, his kisses, any kiss from him, felt like a wrap of warmth protecting you and your heart. But a wrap too tight, could suffocate you whole. And bury you alive. And become the ugliest of you.

To Sunwoo, you reckon to believe, that this, all this? Is just for pleasure and his benefit.

Friends with benefits. Self-explanatory. Or maybe something with benefits, you both kind of glossed over the being friends first phase. A boy who dressed in black and wore earphones as often he could in the halls of the school. By field? The single most hottest, soccer player. Captain, might you add. Kim Sunwoo was untouchable. And that made everyone want him more.

Nonetheless, he did touch. He had his fair share of girls in his life. None that ever lasted more than he wanted, none other than you.

Timid girl through and through. Face glued into books and a pencil always drawn to the paper. Eyes focused on nothing other than the board.

Sunwoo had been attracted, physically. What kind of corruption could a guy like him do to a girl like you? And it all started with a single, "hey" from him and a girl who wanted to fit in, greeted back.

Sure Sunwoo laid out the rules for you. He could read in between lines. If he noticed anything odd, he'd tap out and be out of your life. But you? A master of deception.

When Sunwoo asked you to go to a party with him, you laughed in his face. Going anywhere together, being seen together, amended nearly all the rules of a friends with benefits. When you flickered your eyes up to his after not hearing him laugh, you could see a glint of disapproval, maybe a bit of hurt. You swallowed down the regret of laughing, mulling over the reasons why he asked you to go. After what you've been through in life, you learned to expect the worst.

Seeing how Sunwoo would react when his friends or anyone walked up, he'd take a step back. Or in worse cases, he'd pull his hand away from yours when anyone was near, taking your hope along with it. It was speculated now that you and Sunwoo were something, but taking into consideration how Sunwoo would react, everyone thought the relationship was inevitably going to end.

Knowing all this, it didn't stop you from answering yes.

Parked on the street, you were still thinking about the possible reasons why he asked you to come. Was it to make someone jealous? Was it to get another girl? Was it for your benefit and he thought you needed some party life? Or...did he do this all for a bet? Sunwoo side eyes you and wraps his hand around your shaking ones on your thighs. There's a jolt you feel when you see his face and you can't wrap your mind around it.

"You'll be fine y/n"

Easy for you to say.

Still he opens his door and walks to your side, opening yours and sidestepping in order for you to get out. And when he does something you'd never expect, your feet plant to the ground. He reaches for your hand and walks toward the direction of the party, pulling you with him, or at least attempting to. You don't like to ask questions, so you walk with him after some hesitation.

With a firm grip, he rang on the doorbell. Your heart starts to hammer as time went by, waiting for whoever was behind that door to open it. And when the door does, he brightly grins at Sunwoo and the muscles in your throat tighten. This is it you think. This is where you're gonna get laughed at and be a shit show for the rest of your life. Everyone would think foolish of you. The guy's eyes flicker towards you and you cower. They travel down to your hand and his grin drops into a frown that resembles confusion. And at this point, you've learned what to do. Pry your hands out of Sunwoo's, for his sake. Always for his sake. If you weren't so worried about Sunwoo and his benefit, you would have felt how Sunwoo tried to grasp onto that last feel of your hand.

Sunwoo glances to you, feeling hurt from your action, jaw tensing. And a realization passes him that made him feel more the awful, that you did it for him.

"Hey Sunwoo, glad you made it," he nods his head towards your direction, "who's this?" You notice he says it more out of curiosity than in a teasing manner.

"She's..uh- my-"

"friend" You cut Sunwoo off entirely, to save him from the awkwardness.

It didn't help, because the air is brewing with it now and you can't help but regret coming along feeling a bit like a nuisance.

Throughout the night, it was filled with blasting music, dim lights, drunk people, and dancing bodies against dancing bodies. And with that, obviously ever girl trying to get Sunwoo's attention, but all his attention was on you, even if you looked like a lost puppy and didn't dare touch a drink.

It annoyed him, it frustrated him, practically drove him to insanity. Every time he'd get close to you, you'd step away and find an excuse to get away from him. Even in a party filled with people, it tore him to pieces, how you would always walk away from him and distant yourself when others were around.

Though, he knew that it was his fault. That you wouldn't trust him to be with you in front of this many people, because he remembers all the times he did the same to you. Step back from you when someone was in view or pull his hand from yours if anyone was near.

The biggest rule of being friends with benefits is to never fall in love with who you're in it with. No exception.

To Sunwoo, you were an exception and he broke that rule.

He didn't know how long you ago you felt it, but he was certain that you did. And now he's watching you walk away from him like all the times he's done to you in the past. He can't help but wonder how you did it, having someone you love walk away from you, because god this hurt like no other. But it'd hurt more if he lost you altogether.

Knowing Sunwoo, you let him have his night of fun. Never getting in his way and never letting a conversion hold place between you and him. That's not how you guys work in a room full of people. When you two are alone, it's either full of pleasure, or full of moments that fill your heart with something that could be. Out in public, it's a different story. That something that could be? Will always stay something that could be.

There wasn't any indication that this party was to make you look like a laughing stock, maybe you should stop thinking that the world is out to get you. On the other hand, Sunwoo has kept his eyes on you the whole time. His eyes only turn dark when another male hands you a drink and being the kind soul and pushover that you are, you take it, even though you have no plans to even take a sip.

"I haven't seen you here before." He leans onto the wall next to you.

You catch yourself flicking your eyes back to Sunwoo, and he's perched up against the counter, jaw hardening and eyes not prying away from yours.

Feeling flustered, you draw your attention back to the male. "I'm just- I need a break from all the uni work thats all."

"Mm, same"

An awkward silence fills the air before he cuts in, "your boyfriend sure is protective of you"

That reeled you in, "huh what?"

"Sunwoo?, you guys came in together no?"

"oh no, I mean yes, but no, he's not my boyfriend" you mutter, not meaning for it to sound pained.

"he's been on watch of you all night,"

Your ears perk at the claim.

"he just-"

"ohp, goodluck"

What? Before you manage to voice that thought out, the male is walking away and you catch sight of Sunwoo walking towards you. You straighten your posture and swallow your nerves. What is he doing?

"y/n. a word?" spoken tensely.

He couldn't take it anymore. Virtually glaring lasers at the male, daring him what his next move was going to be. And when the conversation ran a little bit too long for his liking, his legs took him in the direction of where you were at.

Sunwoo doesn't give you a second to respond before grabbing your wrist and tugging you to the front door. Feeling like a spotlight is on you, you yank away, but he turns around frustrated and grabs it back.

The moment you two reach the car, you're able to take your arm back and distance yourself from him. "what the fuck Sunwoo"

He deserves that. And the time it took to get outside wasn't enough for Sunwoo to take a breather. Because he was anything but calm. His back heaved up and down with anger.

Shit.

You see him craning his head up to the sky as his back continued to heave from the deep breaths.

A moment passes, "you are literally driving me insane y/n"

He doesn't give you a chance to respond before closing the distance, closing his mouth over yours. Those lips that he wishes for eternity would only touch his skin.

You take a minute to register what he just did. Now he's breathing you in, and your mind subconsciously starts to search around in your mind figuring out how you got here. He's invading your mouth, invading you. Every part of you, and you have to shut the thoughts before it spilled out of you.

Friends with benefits. A reminder to you.

Kiss me. All you allow your mind to think if you want to keep this relationship safe with Sunwoo. All you can take. If it's just this, then so be it.

But your mind became aware of one thing, and that is where you two were at. A party, well outside, but who knows who could be lurking around out on the pavement. "Sunwoo, car- go" is all you manage to say in between the heated kiss.

He chooses the driver seat instead of opting for the back, where there'd be more room, but he adjusts his chair all the way back and sits you on top of him.

Your lips didn't dare pull away from his, and his hands didn't dare to keep to themselves. Maybe it was the thrill of being in public or the fear of getting caught, but he was being more aggressive than usual. A gasp fell out of your lips, when he took a handful of your hair from behind and pulled down. Throat now exposed to him, he went for it. Tasting your neck, letting his teeth gently graze your skin, lips making the most lewd noises. He became so aggressive, your back pressed into the top of his steering wheel.

"I need this off" His hands now roaming over the bottom of your flowy top, scrunching it up, till it gathered at the edge of your breasts. And when his hands closed over your breasts, teeth grazing just below your collarbone and squeezing firmly, you threw your head back and nothing came out but a mewl.

Impatient as him you decide to help him by hopping over to the passenger seat taking off your clothes, and he did the same.

As soon as he pulled his underwear over his hardening length, he winced. When you look over at his lengthening shaft, red swollen tip, you swear you're salivating at the sight. You need it. All you could think about was him swelling in your mouth. You need him in your mouth. Just as you dipped your head down, Sunwoo stops you, "not now, I need to be inside you". He tips your head up with the tip of his finger, and he can see the surprise in your eyes. Taking his time, he decides to scroll over your futures, and he swipes his thumb across your chin before bringing your face to his. And his lips claimed yours again.

Take it for what it is y/n. It doesn't mean anything more, you repeat over and over in your head. But his kiss, this kiss. It's so possessive and desperate you couldn't help but let your mind fall into that space. Your mind's telling you to leave, but everything else is telling you to stay.

"I need you now" His pulls you closer by the back of your head. But not like you weren't moving towards him anyway. And when you feel his hardness at the skin of your inner thigh you let out a moaning sigh. He only kissed you deeper, pressing you deeper from the back of your head, moving up into your lips.

"Please-" he sighs into your lips.

You squeeze your eyes shut, squeezing out the confusion with it. Because you're uncertain of what he's pleading for. To be inside you? Or something else behind these nauseating kisses, behind the way he's looking at you? It all is telling you to get up, get dressed and leave, but- you can't.

Knowing exactly what you're doing to yourself, you take him into your hands and he releases out a guttural noise into your mouth. At least for him, he feels good all the throughout. For him. As soon as you feel his tip at your entrance, you sink, gasping and moaning into his mouth till you're full of him.

Feeling the need to take a breath, you break away from his lips, and rest your cheek against his. "Oh fuck-" you breathe into his ear and he lifts your hips, rolling them at a steady pace on him. Normally, you wouldn't be near so close to coming, but you're close, you can feel it. It may have just been the way he's slowly killing you, or the way he's making your heart feel too much all at once this whole night. It's the fact that he's so close to you now, lips on lips, touch scorching skin, heart uncontrollably hammering.

He finds a steady pace. They were so deliberate, his thrusts meeting your hips driving you mad, causing your stomach to churn. Your body jerks off him along with a yelp from feeling too full. He anchors you back down, and his head dips down to your shoulder, peppering your skin.

It's winding tighter. So close. So so close.

"Sunwoo!" a distant voice is heard from the outside and your head whips toward the direction.

Shit. Seo Young Ji, without a doubt the girl who claims to be head over heels in love with Sunwoo. She's been after him since she came to the school. She'd scare off any girl who'd even look at him. And there was no point in scaring you off because no one ever expected a girl like you to be with a guy like him. The rumors she heard, she'd laugh at and tell em to not worry. Claiming him…as if he ever bothered to pay any attention to her.

It takes you a second to register his arms keeping you on him. You pull away enough to look at him, and he only brushes his mouth with yours. Breathlessly whispering against your lips, "baby".

Oh my god. 'Baby'. The word gets repeated in your head. It's a battle with yourself holding it together to not let your mind go there. But..say it again Sunwoo. Say it again.

"princess" Wow. Even better. Your heart swells.

Now treading slowly at the corner of your lips, "don't worry bout her". His arms coil around you tighter, one hand snaking up your back, gripping the back of your neck and the other circled around your waist steadying your hips to an incessant roll. "come for me, come all over me".

At his words you couldn't help but to whimper and try to shy away, but he had you anchored. The pace picks up. Faster. Sharper. He meets with your hips. Desperate. Callous. Reckless. Pumping up into you while locking you where he wanted you. The car is without a doubt moving now.

'Mine'. He wants to tell you. 'All mine'. He wants you to know.

Strength of his grip becoming tighter. You're shaking. Legs quivering. Mind spiraling. So close.

From the hitch of your throat, he knows you're almost there.

"I can say this, because I know it's true", he thrusts sharp.

"mine"

He pulls you up and stills you.

"you're mine"

Slamming you back down. And you cry out his name throwing your head back.

He repeats the same action.

"come"

Again.

"all over me"

A garbled moan. Mouth gaped. You're there.

"come all over me....with me"

You cry out again. "aah!- ngg"

You're floating. Yes. Yes. Yes. Billowing. Swelling. Oh god. Crawling up your spine. All over you. Out of control. Your body convulsing and tensing.

"atta girl"

"oh my godd" Hyperventilating. Heaving. Subsiding. Consuming you. It was the best feeling you ever felt.

When it all settles down, he's still inside you. Pulling your chest off his, you open your eyes to him smiling. That smile. You've never seen that smile before, it was something that made you want to throw up your heart. A smile that said more words than your mind could wrap around.

He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. "hi" Silence wraps you two. "y/n i-"

"don't-don't say something you don't mean Sunwoo"

He only does one thing. Claims your lips again. No tongue. Just a sweet, unforgettable kiss. "I love you" He slips it through so you didn't get a chance to protest.

So warm. So honest. All gliding over you. "so please" desperately whispering against your lips, "don't walk away from me like I stupidly did to you all those times...i'm sorry. I'm so sorry". He's pleading now, "stay. stay and love me." You're too silent for his liking. "y/n-"

You take his face between your hands, sealing his lips to yours. Taking in your hope, pushing out the despair. You shake your head, "princess,” you mutter, “not y/n, call me princess again, or baby, or yours" you close your lips against his again.

There's not a single ounce of insincerity. Sunwoo swore he could cry or scream in delight, but he can only say one word, "finally".