spacecowboy

When you two arrive at the living area of your 141 section, Price is waiting for you by the kitchen. He’s stirring something on the stove in a large pot but looks up as you come through the door. You move your hands to fiddle with the strap of your bag, hoping that would make your distress less obvious. 

“Hey you two, I’ve got leftovers when you’re ready. Heard about what happened.” You can hear the affection in his voice and when you meet his eyes, you know he’s looking you over with concern. 

“Thanks Cap! I’m going to shower now, Bug you’ll be ok?” Gaz asks, and you nod without a word. Too tired to give a proper response and feeling shy at the attention. You’re grateful that he’s looking out for you but right now everything is too much and you just want Simon. 

“I’ve got them, go on Gaz.” John responds and waves him off. You stand there awkwardly, almost waiting for Price’s instruction while Gaz walks away. When it’s quiet again you feel a little better.

“Where is he?” You mumble. You’re grateful that John hears you and understands who you need without more communication. 

“He’s in one of the gyms with the recruits, has about 30 minutes left.” He replies and you turn around heading back the way you came, towards the training area. You have no energy left to respond. “You should shower first, and eat Bug. You’ll feel better.” He calls after you. 

But you know what you want.

The gym isn't far, and when you arrive you notice Simon walking around, observing the pairs of recruits doing partnered exercises. You walk to a corner of the room, close to the entrance and find a spot between some spare lockers and boxes of random equipment. It lends itself as a place away from view but Simon knows you’re there. He always does. 

He had heard from Price all the things that had gone wrong during your mission. He knew that you’d be wrecked. He’d prepared for it. Took the rest of the day off to be with you. Wore one of his sweaters he knew you like so that it’d smell like him. Made sure he had cozy sheets on his bed and brought over your stuffies from your room. Just a little longer, he thought, before he could be with you.  

During the 25 minutes left of Simon’s session, you found yourself in a haze of regression, fatigue, and overwhelm. You pull out the small plush from your bag that you brought for your mission. The wait to be with Simon wasn’t unbearable, you just looked forward to being held. You squish yourself closer to the wall, out of visibility behind a stack of boxes while the recruits file out of the gym by the entrance near you. You hear Simon’s footsteps coming closer and you slowly stand from your hiding place.

“Can we go?” You ask softly and go to pick up your bag on the floor. Simon has got it over his shoulder before you can get to it so you opt for leaning into him.

“Yeah c’mon love.” Simon looks you over like John had done, but you don’t notice since you have pushed your face into his chest. “You didn’t wanna shower or change first? Price coulda helped you doll.”

“Didn’t wanna” You murmur into his uniform. 

“Alright let’s go.”

In his room, Simon hands you an old shirt that Soap gave you and a baggy pair of shorts. He pulls out your shower products and leads you to the small shower room the team share. He waits while you shower in silence, checking to see if you are ok every so often. When you come out, he insists on detangling your hair. 

“No! Don’t wanna.” You push away his outstretched hand with a brush in it. You just want him and bedtime. 

“I gotta pup, or it’s going to be tangled in the morning.” So you let him, and close your eyes, inhaling his cologne as he brushes carefully through your hair. He pats your back when he’s done and carries your shower supplies out of the bathroom, with you slowly behind. In his room you hang up your towel, dump your uniform in his laundry bin and sit on his bed. 

“Can’t cuddle just yet baby, you have to eat. I know Price heated up leftovers for you.” He knows he’s pushing your limit but he stays firm. 

“I don’t want to eat! I just want to lie down with you!” You start crying, and frustrated, tired tears run down your face. You’re feeling smaller and more exhausted by the minute. That means your patience was waning too. 

“I know love but you’ll feel so much better when you’re full and you can nap. You don’t gotta do anything, just let me help you.” He understands that you’re tired and don’t need to be pushed but he needs you to trust him. He brushes your tears and strokes your back softly. You sniff and let him guide you to the kitchen hand in hand. 

It’s only Gaz in the kitchen when you come in but when he looks up, Simon gestures to the hallway to leave. You notice this interaction despite your distress which only makes you more frustrated. Frustrated at yourself for crying, for feeling so needy, for taking up space. You whine and cry a little more. Still holding your hand, Simon leads you to the stove and puts food in a bowl for you one-handed. He squeezes it when he hears you getting impatient as he gets you a glass of water. 

“Hold the glass of water love and we can go sit on the couch.” He nudges you towards the counter with the glass and then walks over to the couch. While he usually wouldn’t allow food near the couch, he knows you want to be close to him and the couch would be most comfortable. He pulls his hand away from yours, instead grabbing your glass and setting it down with the bowl. You wait impatiently but are soothed when he pulls you into his lap. Slowly he feeds you and coaxes you to drink sips of water. At a certain point you have hit your limit of compliance and are done. He leaves the meal clean up for someone else (probably Soap) carries you to his room. 

It smells like him. It’s dim and cozy the way you like it. He sets you down on his bed, allowing you to rearrange the blankets and pillows into a nest while he quickly grabs his sweater, your pacifier and favourite stuffy. He tugs his sweater over your head and brushes your hair out of your face before pulling the hood over you. “Good?”

“Mhm.” You respond quietly and gratefully take your pacifier, put it in your mouth, and hold your stuffy close. You wait for Simon to get comfy before crawling over to lay on top of him. He pulls a blanket over the both of you and runs his hands through your hair, finally soothing you to sleep. 

i'm honestly open to requests, i think i'd like to write some more

“I’m not a fucking babysitter.” Butcher grumbled into his phone.

“I know Butcher but my meeting is at a strip club and I’d rather not bring them with me.” Jamie's voice crackles over the call.

“Just leave ‘em alone, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“I-” Jamie sighs, “just please.”

“Yeah alright, send them over.” Billy agrees.

“Jamie please!” Your friend moves your hand that’s gripping his jacket to hold onto Butcher’s coat. 

“Don’t worry pup, this big guy will keep you safe, you remember Butcher don’t you?” You do remember Billy, so you guess it can’t be that bad. You huff. 

Jamie hands you your plushy and leans in close to Billy, whispering so you don’t hear. “If you lose their stuffie, I’ll make sure you lose all your fingers, and you can deal with a crying toddler too.”

Billy just smiles back smugly. “They’re gonna come back to you without any scratches and that otter snug in their arms, I can promise you that.”

Jamie rolls his eyes and then turns back to you. “Alright sorry kid, I gotta go, don’t get into any trouble.” You watch as he walks up the stairs and Butcher waits to speak until the door is closed. 

“You’re not getting into trouble if you’re already in the company of trouble.” He winks at you.

You settle into a chair beside M.M, watching as he works on his dollhouse. You recognize the team from the odd jobs you have done for them in the past, so you aren’t super uncomfortable, but it obviously isn't the nicest place to be in either. You perk up when you hear Frenchie speak from across the room. 

“Boss, the meeting’s been moved up to 3.” He looks at Butcher.

“Alright boys let's go, I guess you’re coming with us.” Butcher tells you and when you look at him with concern he’s quick to reassure you. “It’ll be quick hm? And you’ll stay in the van with Frenchie, all safe and sound.” 

You let Butcher lead you out of the building and into the van, feeling oddly safe under his care. You’re not the most trusting in general, especially with the kind of work you do, but when you’re little you tend to be good at finding the right people to trust. 

You grip your otter tightly during the bumpy drive, unsure of what was about to happen. If Jamie trusts Butcher then you don’t have to worry, you decide. Thankfully, it’s a quick drive before the vehicle comes to a stop and the door is sliding open. Hughie hands out some technology to everyone except you and Frenchie, and it’s a flurry of activity without any explanation. Context wouldn’t be much use for your little brain, you suppose.

“Alright love, you sit your ass right here and don’t move alright? Frenchie’ll snitch if you do.” Butcher tells you. You look at Frenchie warily but he shakes his head slightly which makes you giggle. “See? You’ll be just fine.” Butcher reaffirms. 

For about 10 minutes you’re alone with Frenchie in the van, watching as he sets up the equipment and monitors the computer. Naturally you get bored. Holding your otter in one hand, you use your other hand to fidget with random things on the floor. You’re not quite sure what they are but they’re fun to play with. 

A hand slowly comes into your sight and pulls the item from your hand.

“That isn’t good for little hands, so how about this?” Frenchie hands you a blue wire, and you take it. It keeps you satisfied, and you twist it as you wait in a comfortable silence. 

One by one, the rest of the crew filters back into the van after they’ve done their jobs. 

Everyone watches the cameras, keeping an eye on the top right one, which monitors the room where the meeting is being held. It’s a musty room with a circular wooden table in the middle, and men sit around it. Things start to escalate with more yelling and then suddenly it all goes to shit. One chair is thrown and then guns are out. One lanky guy brings out a long sword, and starts swinging it around. 

“He looks kinda like you Hughie.” M.M remarks with a laugh and the others snicker too. Hughie just rolls his eyes but smiles too. Everyone’s faces drop when the guy starts hacking at the others. Butcher puts a hand over your eyes so you don’t see, what you assume to be, a brutal mess. 

“Don’t need to see that much, dove.” You plug your ears too, as now you’re more aware of the disgusting sounds that are being picked up as well. You zone out after that, even after Butcher lets you see again. You go into your own world, pretending it’s your otter who’s on the adventure. 

When Jamie comes to pick you up you’re telling Butcher all about your otter’s adventure and all the information she learned. 

“And and she sawed that the guys didn’t have ‘nough guy so they’re hiring more, so she’ll be a spy ‘n join their team.” Billy nods along as you tell the story. It’s not very coherent but he makes an effort to listen. 

“Hey bug, did you have a good time?” Jamie asks and you rush over to him. He picks you up and you rest your head against him. 

“Mhm,” you mumble against his sweater. Butcher walks over to the two of you and hands Jamie your stuffie. 

“Alright, say thanks to Butcher.” He prompts, and bounces you encouragingly. 

You lean over to Billy and press a messy kiss to his cheek. “Thanks,” you slur, and hide into Jamie once again. Jamie’s surprised at the display of affection but smirks when he sees Butcher’s eyes widen slightly. 

The team watches with matching smiles as well. Butcher catches them out of the corner of his eye. 

“Fuck off.”

the joint had been passed around the circle. your group of friends had gathered together to celebrate the beginning of summer. you're sat around a campfire, s’mores and dinner already eaten and now there's a peaceful air around you. your mind is hazy, a mix of weed, and something else. in the comfort of your group, you begin to feel a little small. there’s a warm feeling in your body that you can’t ignore. you feel a nudge and turn to look at him.

“are you regressed?” he whispers, and the others can’t hear him over their conversations.