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@spacearoundmars

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i dont miss you, do i?
I’ll never tell you that i miss you, because after everything, im the one who left.
I was exhausted of trying to get through to you, and i gave up.
now im free of your lying and manipulation
im free of crying because of something you said
Im free of my heart shrinking when you sing our songs with someone else
im free of having to apologize even though YOU were wrong, just because i couldn’t stand the thought of losing you
im free of having to explain why im mad
im free of arguing every three weeks and you still not learning anything.
but i miss being around you
i miss going to class with you
i miss braiding strands of your hair
and sharing my earbuds with you while you played your awful playlist.
i miss your stupid hugs, you could read when i really needed one.
I miss watching as you laughed at something stupid that I said
I miss you letting me doodle on your arms when I was nervous
I miss the idea of you
the you before you changed
I miss our memories but,
I dont miss you, do i
scenarios i think at night pt 1
She sat on the floor with her friends, all of them raving about the concert. She was exhausted, could barely keep her eyes open. He looked over and noticed. Being who he was, he decided to mess with her a bit, while she was too tired to scold him. He crawled over to where she was sitting and spread out on her lap. She looked down and scowled. He grinned and sat up “whats wrong?” he pouted sarcastically and laid his chin on her shoulder. She rolled her eyes and continued listening to the conversation her friends were having. He started feeling a bit mischievous and thought it such a waste to leave her as is. He walked his first to fingers up her arm, aiming to annoy her into looking at him. She didn’t fall for it, however. She smacked his hand and ignored him. That only fueled his troublesome mood. He reached under her hand and intertwined his fingers in hers. She responded by simply pulling her and away and into her lap. He frowned in a taunting way and scooted closer to her. She tried to steady her heartbeat as she felt his breath on her shoulder. He landed a small peck on her shoulder and then scooted away to his original seat, causing her eyes to widen and shoot a sharp glare at him. She watched the annoying grin on his face and tried not to turn red. He decided to give it another go. He crawled back over to her and once again placed his cheek on her shoulder. She refused to show any sign of caring. He felt a little braver than last time, for some reason. He shifted and sat in between her legs, leaning back on her shoulder from the front. She took a deep breath and ignored him, not giving him the attention he wanted. He pouted, wanting her to pay attention to him. He grabbed each of her hands in his and wrapped her arms around him like a blanket. She sighed and gave up “what? what do you want?” she asked in a whisper. He grinned and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. It took everything she had not to smile, fighting the corners of her mouth from turning up. She decided to mess with him back a little before going to sleep. She wrapped her arms around him tighter and laid her head on his, smirking as she felt his breath hitch. She could just see the stupid look on his face right now. He didn’t know how to react, he just sat there with his face red. She must have lost all energy, seeing as she fell asleep right then and there. He smiled, imagining how she’d react to knowing that she fell asleep, holding him like that. He let himself sink into her and sighed. He closed his eyes, falling asleep along with her.
hug
“do you need a hug” yes, but I don’t want one
“i’ll give you a hug” please don’t touch me
“you should be happy, everyone likes hugs” no, I dont
“what’s your problem” i asked you not to touch me
“why are you getting so mad?” dont touch me
“its just a hug” dont make me say it again
energy
its gone, all of it, really it’s divine.
ive lost my energy, all of it this time.
I hurt and burn and sting to the core
I miss the time when I wasn’t just a metaphor
i could shower, I could eat
i could smile, I could sleep.
I could laugh, I could cry
now I cant, but why?
where has it gone
where is my energy
why does it hurt everywhere
even mentally?
I dont have the energy to do anything anymore
I wish I could go back to where I was before

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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insomnia
“what’s wrong?: im so tired
“why dont you go to bed earlier?” : I’ve tried
“what about melatonin?” : I’ll try to overdose
im exhausted, theres nothing I can do. i cant think of words to explain what it feels like. im just so tired.
the quiet
its wonderful isnt it? silence. either peaceful or unsettling. either way, its better. especially when its silence alone. no noise, no people, just me and my thoughts.