now why is the hand statue making out vulcan style behind them. guys. that feels VERY pointed
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@space-y-disaster
now why is the hand statue making out vulcan style behind them. guys. that feels VERY pointed

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op disabled reblogs but I think the point still stands
So one of the things that can apparently contribute to kidney issues in cats is if they eat too much dry food and don't drink enough water; cats are adapted to get a lot of their water from their food since they're originally desert animals, and might not get enough water if they don't eat wet food. Unfortunately, Dozy won't eat wet food no matter what; she categorically refuses to touch the stuff. So a few months ago, we were looking for ways to get Dozy more fluids, and my wife noticed at the pet store a cat drink--basically meat broth with some floaty bits in--that was low-protein and meant for cats with kidney issues. So we figured, worth a try, right?
Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.
And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.
I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.
[the creacher in question]
Nothing on earth could have prepared me for the fucking face of Dozy
I just ate one
You can lie when you name things
This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because "a lot of houses these days don't give you a fruit flavor option." She was very solemn about this.

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This time I'm really gonna fucking do it*
*clean out the oldass canned shit that's been sitting in the pantry for literal years because sometimes there really isn't any food and so throwing anything out that's still unopened is basically the eighth deadly biblical sin but honest hand to god that shit is never getting eaten
Ruh-Roh Raggy
Hey. Hey not to make a jokepost deep but some of this shit was in my go-bag from before I moved out of my parent's house.
I first packed it up in ziplock freezer bags along with matches and a tarp n other junk in case shit went south and I needed to lay low in the woods a couple days.
And now I'm an adult, living in my own apartment, paying my own rent with my own career in a job I enjoy, with my own towels and plates and shampoo I bought because I like the smell.
Shit gets good out here
as a human my ideal way to die would be something quick and painless in a national park at a very old age. as a bug my ideal way to die would be being accidentally crushed by a little girl playing outside and cried over and buried with a leaf headstone
i keep thinking abt bump and cracking up
why.
This feels like if somebody from the 90's had an idea and sat on it until 2026.
Whatâs been the hardest advice for you to swallow? Ever?
If you are correct and annoying, nobody will listen.
Like it does not matter how correct you are, or how beautiful your coherence of thought may be. If you're annoying, people will spend their time and energy elsewhere
(tags via @.self-loving-vampire)

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Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it
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Jail
Reading this article was pretty depressing btw, everyoneâs going to therapy allegedly but the emotional cowardice of this as a concept lmfao
I like the bit where he said they could talk to eachother about anything and everything and then he didn't talk to her at all and just dipped
I know weâre all like lawless nonconformists but you really canât be texting and driving. thatâs one of the ones youâve gotta listen to for real
Not even at stoplights!!! I know itâs so so tempting to just glance at your phone when youâre stopped, but thereâs actually something called âdistraction hangoverâ where even once you put your phone down, your brain is still processing the interaction and isnât fully paying attention to the road for up to 30 seconds afterwards. So itâs still really dangerous even if youâre stopped when you look at your phone. If you need to check something on your phone, pull over.
this especially applies to people with adhd. you know that symptom you may have heard of called âdifficulty transitioning between tasksâ? you donât want piloting a ton or two of potential death to be the task you canât mentally switch back to.
Interesting! I hadn't heard of the "distraction hangover" before, turns out because it's pretty recent research!
Also, you are not good at multitasking even if you think you are.
âhey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worryingâ âwell ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD youâd see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______â YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.
âyou canât blame breeders for breeding to standard :/â i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see

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the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s
i have seen a bizarrely high number of replies to this post saying âokay but you have to take into account peopleâs preferences and dietary restrictions!!!â so i just wanted to take the time to clarify that my original one (1) paragraph tumblr joke post was in fact an entirely comprehensive guide to trip planning, you should NOT take into account food allergies or accessibility or general basic preferences of your friends at all, there are absolutely no further nuance or considerations that need to be made beyond what i originally wrote
i have a friend with peanut allergies so every time we go somewhere i make sure to take my peanut car that is made up of thousands of peanut shells glued together and then for activities all of us take turns throwing peanuts at her and then we have peanut butter for dinner. everyone loves it