Sourpatch Levi

goes to the kitchen. holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room

Dude

what? what? what do you want daddy kink 33?

I was gonna make an "imagine showing this post to somebody 4 months ago" joke but I realized it'd just look like any other shitpost and nobody here would bat an eye

*gets addicted to literally anything that distracts me from the fact i exist*

when yr so tired ur eyelids are like SHUT IT DOWN BOYS but ur brian is like OPEN THOSE GATES LADS n ur closing ur eyes then opening then closing then opening then closing then opening then closing

“ur brian”

listen here mate i know what i said and i stick by it i cling to my mistakes like a real man

I’m endlessly amused by people who call the far Left an “echo chamber” because leftists literally never stop arguing with each other about anything

sane clown posse

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever been on tumblr before December 17 2018?

What is the objective?

Survive.

it’s fat cock o’clock

There’s no reason for anyone over the age of 21 to be having a conversation with anyone under the age of 18

“For the last time son, I wont talk to you.”

“im sorry students, but this is the last time im gonna say this. Stop trying to talk to me”

“I’m afraid I can’t hire you, I cannot speak to you.”

“I would tell that kid to get off my lawn, but society isn’t ready yet”

“my new born baby just said it’s first word but I’m not trying to hear that”