forgetting how important and necessary faith is, especially in times of pure need… what more can i do for myself instead of bed rot >.< been disinterested in scanning due to my heart aches but i just have to at least try to meet myself halfway and maybe even him.. but i need me more than ever töo——-

starting 2 pray again.. (a dosage of confidence)

you can’t testify or be in the same room as your twin flame bcs you share the same soul; na that certain predicaments has even pertained to tht

but the mes scare me

ï wonder if my higher self is inside me? she snapped her fingers @ me with a shaven head and a dragon tattoo— i must have a temple inside me.

stuck. full of ideas..thoughts..and possibilities but ultimately just stuck—

please bury me ans maybe i’ll sprout with the melons blueberries and whatever else. maybe i’ll sprout a flower- or a seed of faith. i’ve been waiting and longing. waiting— even before i could perceive such longing. i waited the first day and detioriated. maybe the second day was better- but what about the now? waiting in a world ï don’t belong. how will i adjust if i must wait forever? if im waiting for such sweet notning? how will i ever return to myself over sometning so cruel?- where would you go? am i just to wait? for a part of myself shut off-? much higher than this… plagued by such memories. did i have to fall so hard?

**

that- im disgusted w myself. yet it was so good my stomach feels so full i feel a bit uncomfortable :/ im promising god i’ll never agan