DAMON SALVATORE SENTENCE STARTERS.
         taken from ian somerhalderâs portrayal of him on the show, not the book.
âNostalgia is a bitch.â
âIâm stronger than you think.â
âIâm gonna go rip his head off now.â
âOur life is one, big proverbial coin toss.â
âI could rip your heart out and not think twice about it.â
âSorry to spoil your seven minutes in heaven. We have a problem.â
âFor someone who doesnât wanna be like me, you sure are good at it.â
âTake it from the guy who supposedly got it all and is sitting with bubkis. Stop moping about who are not and start being the guy you are.â
âVery Emerson, the way you reveal your soul. So many⌠adjectives.â
âIs that where youâve been all morning, out buying bossypants?â
âIâm not some drunk sorority chick. You canât roofy me.â
âDoes it get tiring, being so righteous?â
âYou just donât wanna die, do you?â
âWhy are you so mean to me?â
âDonât tell me what I canât do.â
âHashtag, youâre welcome.â
âThe only one I can count on is⌠me.â
âToday has been a no-good, very-bad day.â
âThis would be so much more fun if we were naked.â
âI guess Iâll have to cuddle up next to the fire with all my rage.â
âYou brood too much⌠My actions, they belong to me. I own them.â
âI do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.â
âCan we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.â
âI look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.â
âYour search for lifeâs purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.â
âIâm trusting you. Donât make me regret it.â
âAlright, brother. Time to go.â
âIâd be extra nice to me right now.â
âYou are officially the most terrifying person I know.â
âDidnât you find it weird that you made a friend so fast? Have you met you?â
âI gotta admit, even for me, itâs a little kinky.â
âYou have no sense of humor.â
âSo allâs forgiven?â
âI donât do good. Itâs not in me.â
âStop being ashamed of who you are.â
âIâm better at being the bad guy anyway.â
âTake it from me: strange is bad, dead is worse.â
âI promise you. I will never leave you again.â
âYou want a partner in crime? Forget _____. Iâm so much more fun.â
âYou know what they say: the way to a psycho killerâs heart is through his stomach.â
âGet your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself.â
âThereâs no such thing as a bad idea. Only poorly executed awesome ones.â
âHindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.â
âIâve been dead before. I got over it.â
âLife sucks. Get a helmet.â
âYou need to stop doing that.â
âHumanityâs not all itâs cracked up to be.â
âIâm staying clear of all women at the moment.â
âI want to throw you back in my bed and never let you leave.â
âYou went on a murderous rampage. It happens.â
âFirst of all, donât nickname. Thatâs my thing.â
âAnd here I thought my future was bleak.â
âI have moves youâve never even seen before.â
âYou do realize you are dating a reformed serial killer, right?â
âYou know this whole pretending to hate me is getting a little silly.â
âGuilt. Donât know it, but Iâve heard it can be a royal bitch.â
âOne thing youâre not going to do, youâre not going to mess with me.â
âYouâre lucky youâre adorable because your eternal optimism is super annoying.â
âIf youâre gonna be maudlin, Iâm gonna kill you myself. Just to put me out of your misery.â
âSometimes really terrible things happen to amazing people.â
âYou better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep.â
âThatâs it? Weâre gonna kill bad guys together and youâre not even going to talk to me?â
âIs that what you people think of me? That I just instantly resort to violence?â
âYou are literally the best person Iâve ever known.â
âYou came here to kill me?â
âEh. Iâve seen worse.â
âI think I like you.â
âIâm a good guy now, remember?â
âIâm lost⌠metaphorically, existentially.â
âI like a woman who knows what she wants.â
âJust stop talking. Just kiss me. Be my distraction.â
âYou once told me that calling me Satan was an insult to Satan.â
âSo Iâm thinking of a person. Heâs reasonably good looking, charming accent, and he would be the most amazing wingman if he just got rid of his martyr complex.â
âWhatever desire you have to save me, I kinda need that right now.â
âListen, how I got this amazing body has nothing to do with science.â
âClarity over cleverness. Thatâs what I always say.â
âYouâre choosing that woman over me?â