The Way Your Words Have Haunted Me | Scorpius and Melissa
“I know the Auror will do what he can.” Melissa started, still unwilling to use the name Potter if she could help it. To be fair, she knew it was not James’ fault that Scorpius had chosen his sister to fall in love with. She just did not need to think about Lily anymore than she already was, which happened to be more often than she would like. There were constant comparisons being done in her head. She hated that he loved someone so different from her. Melissa could never be Lily, they were too different from each other. “I actually do not think it would be best to allow Hector to visit us here. He may only be allowed to do so with the stipulation that he tell someone where I have been hiding. I do not think he would do that to me, but I do know how manipulative my paternal side can be.” She added at the end. As much as it hurt her to blatantly refuse his company, she did not trust that he could keep quiet in this situation.
Scorpius’ encouragement was sweet and she could tell that he was trying to make her feel better. It had a temporary affect on her mood, allowing her to offer the smallest of smiles. In all honesty she was lingering on the hope that he was right. She had gone along with his plan to get rid of her father because she trusted him. Knowing her father had her wary that the plan would actually work, but she still wanted to try. “I can give the owls to you if you wish, but I do deserve them. I am going against my own father, and even though he deserves to be punished for the way he has treated his family, he is still my blood. Hurting him will serve to hurt all the Rosier side, unless they were to disown him and that I highly doubt would ever happen. You know how messy public shame can be for a family. Grandpa Rosier is going to die in Azkaban because of his time spent as a Death Eater. I deserve every single scolding from them because I am going to hurt them with this, too.”
Melissa watched him put his drink to his lips and followed suit, when she took away her glass was empty. Silently, she wondered if this was how it would always be with them. Chasing their feelings away with liquid dinners instead of choosing to face them. Already it was obvious that they managed to be quite functional with large amount of liquor in their system. Melissa if she would end up like their grandmother Dione, who she had spent a considerable amount of her childhood with. She had quite the wine habit. Of course, she tried to keep it hidden, but there was no mistaking the smell of fermented grapes when she was near enough. Would they always be leaning on this crutch instead of trying to face their problems head on? If they continued on the path she wasn’t sure what the future would hold
“Narcissa, really?’ It actually surprised her and brought a bit more hope to her eyes. Narcissa Malfoy was a strong and respected woman in the wizarding community. “Her help is completely invaluable. That is actually quite amazing and unexpecte. I will be sure to send her a thank you letter.” Spritz appeared with her drink refreshed. It was then that she remembered something that Grayson had told her when he had come to talk. Open up to him and perhaps he will open up to you. “Scorp, you know I really do appreciate everything you have done for me and offer to do and the way you have been able to put your own problems aside to take care of me through these rough patches.” She leaned into him. “It is not your fault that I worry so much. All the changes haven’t been the easiest to adjust to, even if it is for the better. I am not always the best at optimism and I know that. I also know I am not the best at talking about the things on my mind. I just… I don’t want to be the one to add to your stress.”
She didn’t like his idea about letting Hector visit. Okay then. Scorpius knew that logically it was foolish to put anymore thought into such a small thing, yet in his current state his mind liked to grip on to anything negative and amplify it, shout at him that he had done wrong again. Saying Hector could visit was one of the few positive suggestions he could make, and it had been immediately shot down, for which he blamed himself entirely. It had been a foolish idea. Of course he wouldn’t put Melissa’s brother in a position where he would become the family’s next victim. He should have thought of that before needing his wife to point it out to him.
The smile she gave him had him hopeful for the brief time it lasted. It meant that his efforts to assure her had some effect, even if he wasn’t very good at it. “No, you don’t deserve those owls,” he said, suddenly firm. Because even if he could do nothing for his own unhappiness, he could try do something for hers. “I insist on you giving me the owls. I’ll deal with them.” It wasn’t like they could damage his mood any further anyway. He gulped down a decent portion of his drink before addressing her next concern. “Your father’s the one that hurt your side of the family. The bastard should not have abused his family. But I’m sure that your family is going to try hush the whole thing up as quietly as possible. You know how they are. My mother controls the prophet and part Potter’s job includes his discretion. It’ll all be swept under the carpet like everything else negative about your father. You’ll see.” His grammar was starting to fall apart from its usual perfection; an indicator of how much he’d had to drink.
By the time Narcissa was brought up he had finished his drink too, and called for one of the two elves in the safe house to give him a top up right after Melissa received hers. The moment his new glass reached his hand, he drank greedily, holding out for that pleasant haze was bound to come sooner or later. “Yeah, I’m not entirely sure what changed Grandmama’s mind.” He thought for a moment. “It might be–” that she’s treating him different after his near-attempt at suicide. “–never mind.” Another drink. He listened to her thanks and her spoken thoughts, encouraged by them to let go of her hand and wrap his arm around her shoulders.
“I’m not the best at talking about things on my mind either,” Scorpius admitted after Melissa had done the same. It was easier to say after she had said it first. “I don’t think you’d be happy hearing what’s on my mind anyway, and I just want to keep you happy. Owe you that. I married you. I promised I’d take care of you, even when it’s bad. And the only thing stresses me when it comes to personally is that I’m not good enough for you.” The liquor was helping loosen his tongue. “I’m not the same person you fell in love with and I’m not the person you fantasied about when you thought of marrying me.” And he was sure she must have done so. He had, about Lily. “I’ve given you nothing but a bloody drunkard for a husband.” As if to emphasise his point, he chugged down half his glass.
