moved to waffle-hime

WHAT THE FUCK

I wanna feel the bulge in your pants as we cuddle

DESTROY HIM

Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point

Okay first of all fuck garlic bread

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

How many innocent cats have been lifted in the air because of The Lion King?

i am 5’2” and let me tell you… it is not jUST CATS

It’s like twilight only better

the pizza guy just looked straight behind me, smiled, and went “you both enjoy your pizza” ? i’m alone in my apartment???

*narrows eyes*

As I said before give 1 of 2 responses: 1) Smile and shake you head and point to nothing, “Oh no, he doesn’t like pizza.” Then close the door. 2) Wide eyes and whisper in a scared voice. “You can see her too.”

IT GOT BETTER

this does not look soft at all how am i supposed to wipe my ass with this.

those are paper towels.