Sounds of Our House

"Thank you, Jon. That was an interesting experience and provided the necessary nutrients for my system."

"Yes, please, play 'I'm a Lumberjack' on the bassoon for me. It's perfect."

"Why do these things keep spawning?" "I ask myself the same thing about papers to be graded."

"Why would you want your arms to be al dente?"

"Sorry I didn't take out the tea table." "There's a tea table in my closet?" "Yes, sorry about that."

"Hey! We just had a visit from the exposition fairy!"

"I picked up a peppermint pappy - I mean, peppermint patty." "Peppermint pappy?" "Yes, brought to you by the same fine folks who brought you candied moose drool."

"A recipe that only makes one loaf of zucchini bread? Please. I'm like Jesus with zucchini bread."

"Mom, you take your tea sharp as a two-edged blade and bitter as wormwood."

"What are they going to fix Cap's shield with? Adamantium?"

"And that, children, is where the line 'My anaconda don't want none' originates from."

"Yes, dear, you shank someone with a shiv."

"Quick changes: good for theater, also good training for life."

"Oh yes. Space bar is jump. I should have told you that."

"And that's why we don't give monkeys cappuccino."

"You okay?" "Yes." "Did you die?" "Yes." "Okay. There are a few things that only make sense in a video gamer household."

"Nutella's on sale." "Attila?" "No, Attila is not on sale."