Yeetus Thyself Into Poetry.

I will never be enough for you.

I. Will. Never. Be. Enough. For. You.

At this point it isn’t me. It’s you.

I’ve changed everything for you.

I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked me to, without question or complaint.

But when you blatantly said that this won’t be enough for you..

That’s when I should’ve walked away.

I’m giving you every ounce that I have,

If that isn’t enough for you then we just aren’t made for each other.

Someone else is supposed to fill these shoes that I’m desperately cramming my feet into.

I’m not Cinderella.

The part that kills me is that I left everything for you.

You craved my energy and now it isn’t enough for you?

The less I want to be there

Everything that I thought was a dream

It was so peaceful. Everything inside couldn’t escape and I felt so happy.

As time went on, we hit our ups and downs. Our on and offs.

I thought when we found each other again I would feel those same feelings as before.

I don’t know if it’s you or if it’s me..

But this doesn’t feel right.

I don’t feel happy?

Maybe it’s the way that I crave you and the way that you create distance..

Like a heroin addict who fiends for their next dose but doesn’t have money for their dealer.

I don’t even mean sex, it’s just that I want to be close to you, I want for you to communicate with me like you did when you were chasing me.

Am I less exciting now? Is it because it’s not scandalous anymore?

I don’t know why I have such weakness for you..

Why I allow you to do this to me over and over again.

Even after all of these years, empty promises, longing for the life you created in my mind.

Like, this is what I worked so hard for?

Every time the thread breaks, you start again from scratch, only cinched tighter than the attempt before.

Little holes left behind as reminders of your many attempts to love me.

Yeah. Of course.

Am I going to do it anyways?

Yup.

I’ll face them all head on, I’ll listen to every word you say and criticize myself with you.

Even after you slammed my heart through a concrete wall.

I would’ve never left your side.

If loving you was a crime then I’d plead guilty and beg for the death penalty.

Even in death would I have followed you, welded to your side we would’ve fought the fires of hell together.

You wouldn’t read it, it would likely remain on a shelf collecting dust..

But I wouldn’t blame you, love.

You were the heaviest casualty I’ve ever had to carry.

I burden myself with apologies that will never be said aloud, nor heard.

Washed away by the rain, I start to feel a little more sane.

It pulls me in each day, the way I’d beg to hear you say;

“I love you.”

I don’t cry because you’re dead and living a new life somewhere.

I cry because when I last told you goodbye I didn’t realize how big of a fool I was.

I didn’t know what love was at the time, I was so young.

Now that I know what love is, I cannot find you.

You’re living life and likely haven’t thought of me in years.

But I think of you constantly.

I wonder where you are, what you look like now.

I wonder if you’re somewhere safe and warm.

If I could, I would tell you how sorry I am.

I’m sorry that little me played your heart like a fiddle and broke every single string.

I’m sorry that I was so careless with your heart when you cherished mine so deeply.

I’m sorry that I didn’t show you how much I valued you.

I’m sorry that I hurt you.

I don’t blame you for cutting me out and disguising yourself as a ghost.

You’re protecting the very thing that I’ve already tampered with once before.

I’m sorry that you have to do that, please know that I’m ashamed.