The Pensieve for my Soul

She wasn’t stupid She knew he walked around pocket full of heartbreaks Yet flesh is glass and sin wrapped in insecurities Besides, by now he had to be sated

My heart pumps fast, but my breathing is deep, deliberate, like I’m just learning how

Pain grips my lungs but its hold is no longer tight enough; time and practice saw to that

I hear life calling my name, shrieking in the distance; but I do not answer

The sun is smiling, the wind is whistling a tune, it might have taken some time, but now, I’m getting used to running from you

The winds of winter billow away, making the leave-less tree sway; the gale blusters and it flusters, but the tree will take whatever comes its way.

Why does it suffer and stand proud why does it take a beating with its chest out? when the snow falls on hallowed ground why does God not make a sound?

If we paint the portrait of our lives every decision a brushstroke, then you are the paint splattered on my mind’s canvas

If we filmed the story of our lives recorded every second for God to watch, then you are the colour to my black and white

Take off your stress at the door and come lie naked with me

The truth doesn't set you free It binds you to reality, holds you to the earth like gravity So let go of it and fly freely into my arms

Let me hold you like someone else's lover, and lead you to Nirvana For what is Paradise but the lies we wrap around ourselves, like darkness wrapped around a moonless night

In our love economy pain was the currency and pride the arbiter.

Blinded by our truths we staggered about our earths, treading on scars that would not heal - because we would not heel.

1:27am The steady thumping of party music reverberates around the dimly lit room. Clusters of jam-packed strangers intermittently bellowing lyrics in unison. Sardines in a can. I'm juiced out of my mind, but then so is everyone else here. This is our escape from the drudgery, and we escape into each other.

1:28am I saw her in the corner, with her girlfriends that she had known since forever. Dance with me. I'm pretty sure I slurred the word dance. Probably slurred the whole damn sentence, too smitten to notice. She could have said no.

3:05am The music is slower and softer now, the universal sign that the party is almost done, but we don't care. We are lost in each other, oblivious to the world. Bodies intertwined, undulating to the soft rhythms. Whispering, smiling, neck kissing. Finally the lights come on, threatening to thrust us back into reality, but we aren't done daydreaming in the dark. Come home with me. She could have said no.

3:29am Kisses nestled in-between smiles. We were trying to take off each others clothes and failing miserably, the alcohol clearly winning its battle with our motor skills. Defeated, we cuddle up, slurred, incoherent conversation punctured by chuckles of understanding. My room is small but my bed is large, and it envelopes us nicely. An enraged Vesuvius could have been hurling hot black tar at my window and we wouldn't have noticed. Earthquakes couldn't have moved us.