Idk What This Is Supposed To Be Anymore

3.2k words

lip gallagher x reader, friends to lovers, hickeys, talk of sex, weed, shotgunning

this is part 1!!!!! part 2 may be out soon or maybe it won’t… it’s a mysztery

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it started out as a joke. as most things with lip normally did. we had been marking off our rice purity tests, each of us in turn, and showing the other everything we’d done or hadn’t done, issuing gasps and mock cries of disbelief from both of us.

we were sitting on the faithful old couch in my bedroom, lip holding up his phone and checking off numbers left and right with me leaning over and watching in awe. lip was just about in the middle of the quiz, number 37: gave oral sex. i watched, mesmerized as he tapped the little box to the left of the question, indicating that he had, in fact, gone down on a girl.

i faked a gasp and he looked at me, a smug smile on his face. i mostly faked the gasp to look like i really didn’t care, but in reality, i was trying to push away the image of a sweaty lip, looking up at me from between my legs.

“so gentlemanly, phillip,” i teased.

he nudged me in the arm. “what can i say? im a sucker for giving,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

i feigned gagging before responding. “so you’re saying you’ve actually succeeded at making a girl cum? because i’m quite doubtful.” i deadpanned.

“hey,” he said, matching my serious expression and leaning forward further. “if you don’t believe me, i can always try it on you. then you can judge for yourself.”

i stared at him for a moment, attempting to register what he’d said, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. trying to make a quick recovery from my shock, i pushed his face away from mine playfully. “in your dreams, gallagher.”

he muttered something that sounded awfully like, “in your dreams, too.”

“what’s that?” i cupped my ear towards him.

“oh absolutely nothing. let’s finish this bullshit so i can see yours,” lip retorted.

and so it went, lip checking off almost every box, except for some regarding breaking the law. when he reached number 70, had sexual intercourse 10 or more times, i shifted uncomfortably, leaning my head against his shoulder.

we both knew that i was a virgin, while he was a self proclaimed “sex genius.” i wasn’t too sure about that, but it in no way helped my wandering daydreams of him when i touched myself.

i’d been friends with lip for years, and he’d never exactly been innocent. those past few years especially, though, he’d grown a bit more into the fuckboy lifestyle, and had been rumored to just fuck girls and leave before they even woke up the next morning.

this was one of the reasons i’d never made a move on him before, even though he was glaringly gorgeous and crazy smart. i was scared i’d lose him.

another reason was all of his experience and my lack thereof. i had no confidence that he’d even want to do anything with me; i was almost sure that he’d reject the idea of fucking a virgin, hypothesizing that i’d become irrevocably attached to him and never want to leave his side.

of course, i’d never talked to HIM about any of this, so it was all really speculation from my point of view.

however, not two minutes after i’d had these thoughts, i watched him check off number 84, had sex with a virgin, that blush crawling right back up my neck.

the rest of the list went smoothly, lip checking off almost every sexual experience the quiz had to offer before we both grimaced at the two unchecked boxes at the end of the test: numbers 99 and 100, committed an act of incest and engaged in beastiality.

“you know what, come to think of it, i almost fucked my cousin once,” lip said thoughtfully, turning to look at me. “third cousin. not even related by blood!” he added defensively, staring at my shocked face.

“lip. how the hell did you almost fuck your cousin?” i questioned skeptically, laughing at his expression.

“long story short: there was a wedding, there was champagne, and there was an empty hotel suite.” he said, sighing, as i laughed.

“interesting,” i told him. “let’s get your final score, shall we?”

he nodded in approval, and clicked the calculate my score box. a large red 38 appeared on the screen. i goggled at the number while lip laughed at my incredulous expression.

“did you think it would be higher?” he asked, smiling at me.

“i mean— i didn’t really know what to expect,” i defended, still shocked by the number.

“aw. after all the time you’ve known me, you still thought i was innocent just like you.” he said, tapping me on the nose for good measure.

i shoved his hand away. “i know for a fact that you aren’t innocent, especially by whatever standards you’re using.” i pulled out my own phone, but lip stole it from me as soon as i’d typed in the password.

i let him find the rice purity website, watching his hands work, knowing

those hands would visit my imagination later.

i was cleared of my daydreaming when he handed me the phone, this time laying his own head on my shoulder, a warm, tumbly feeling tossing over in my throat. i cleared it and began reading the questions.

i got through the first four questions without checking off a box, my face stinging as i checked the next two boxes that referred to kissing someone. lip gasped beside me and rose off my shoulder.

“you never told me you had your first kiss?” he said, a glint of hurt in his eye.

“i— i didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” i lied.

“it definitely is. for you at least,” he smiled as i shoved him again. “tell me what happened.” he implored, looking at me like a puppy.

i sighed. “lip, honestly, it was no big deal. remember last summer i went to camp for two weeks?” he nodded his confirmation.

“worst two weeks of my life,” he said quietly.

“well. i met this guy, you know jack thomas?” again, lip nodded, his face telling me to go on. “well there was a lot of flirting, honestly most of it was flirting, but at the end of camp, on the last night, he took me to the lake and i expected this big, wonderful kiss, but it was so lame. he said, ‘you’re so awesome,’ and then i guess he kissed me. but it was less of a kiss and more of him licking my lips, pretending he knew what he was doing.” i paused, looking at lip’s face. he hadn’t looked away from me once. “and then we left camp and he never texted. the end.” i finished lamely. lip was registering the story, something like relief settling into his features.

“i always knew jack thomas was a dick,” lip said unceremoniously, looking off into space as if he were imagining jack’s face in front of him.

“well that’s the story, sorry it’s absolutely boring. especially compared to what you’ve done,” i added, testing the boundaries.

“you’re right. i’ve done much worse,” he grinned at me. “but i’ve never been kissed by a boy, so you’ve got me there.” he teased.

“more like licked by a boy,” i rolled my eyes at him.

“well in that case i’ve definitely got you beat. growing up with carl? no question.”

“alright gallagher, get ahold of yourself,” i laughed at him. i kept moving down the list, trying to make light of the fact that i had done nearly nothing on there. once i had passed number 11, given or received a hickey, lip stopped me by grabbing my phone from my hand.

“dude,” he started seriously. “not even a hickey?”

i shook my head, a weak smile set on my face.

he looked as though he was lost in thought for a moment. “what if i help you lower your score?” he asked, searching my eyes.

i widened my stare, my heart hammering. “meaning…?” i implored.

“meaning, let’s do some things on here that you’ve never done. so you can check them off.” lip explained, gesticulating like it was obvious.

i thought for a moment, the glaringly obvious set in my head: he had initially just offered to do anything to me, if i wanted to. “sure,” i said, trying to seem casual.

“is it a ‘sure’ or is it a ‘yes’? because i’m not doing it if it’s not completely what you want,” he told me.

“yes, lip, it’s a yes.”

he smiled a devilish smile. “okay first things first, a hickey. it’s easy,” he assured me. “can i give one to you or do you want to do it to me?” he asked.

“definitely do it to me. i’m sure you’re way more skilled at hickeys than i am.” i responded.

“if you wanna stop at any point, just let me know and i’ll back the fuck off.” he reminded me. i nodded in response.

he moved my hair from my neck, my heartbeat quickening as he placed his hand around the back of it. “hey,” he said, his mouth awfully close to my ear. “i haven’t even done it yet. your heart’s beating like a fucking jackrabbit.”

“god this is fucking embarrassing. just fucking do it!” i laughed nervously, awaiting his mouth on my neck.

he moved in even closer, and i could smell his scent: fresh wood and that everlasting cigarette smell that i could never get out of my room once he left. all of a sudden his lips were on my neck, a little below my ear, sucking and nipping with his teeth. i was absolutely sure he could hear my heartbeat, it was pounding so loud.

i wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so i moved one of them on top of his hand that was gripping the back of my neck, and massaged his fingers. i felt his breath hitch against my skin when i did this, and he pulled away just enough to whisper in my ear, “didn’t know my innocent girl knew what she wanted.”

i exhaled slowly. my innocent girl.

his lips kept on sucking a mark into my skin, and my other hand leapt to his hair, massaging it and feeling its softness. i leaned into him as he pulled away to admire his work. i let out a little “fuck,” as he met my eyes again, his lips glistening and a devious smile playing on his face.

“well princess. you can check that off the list,” he said, casually picking my phone back up to, i presumed, check it off the list. i cleared my throat and turned away, remembering that this was just a game to him. that was okay with me, i just had to remember it.

“don’t call me that,” i turned back, and realized that the list was on my phone, and he’d picked up his. “what the hell are you doing, lip?” i questioned, covering my face bashfully as he held up his own phone to take my picture.

“well, you have to see it, otherwise it definitely doesn’t count.” he pointed out.

i sighed and removed my hands from my face, turning my neck outwards towards his camera and striking a pose. he grinned and flashed the photo, then showed it to me. i blushed. below my ear there was a red mark, and i felt a twinge of nerves pass through my heart.

“beautiful work, gallagher, really wonderful,” i said, mimicking a gallery snob. “how much do you want for it? one million? two million?”

“oh no, this is priceless, this is,” he said, matching my tone and motioning towards the hickey in question.

i laughed at him as i grabbed my phone again and found my place in the quiz. “would you like to do the honors?” i said, showing the phone to lip, who had once again leaned his head onto my shoulder. he pressed the little box next to number 11, given or received a hickey, and smiled up at me.

“what’s next, princess?”

“god damn it, i told you not to call me that.” i reminded him, not fully hating it.

“ah, princess, i just don’t care.”

i went through the next five questions with no boxes to be checked, until i hit number 17, masturbated. i smirked, checking off that box with confidence, while i felt lip smile into my shoulder.

“at least the princess can take care of herself,” he mumbled.

“oh i absolutely can. you’d be surprised the miracles these fingers can work,” i said, wiggling two of my fingers at him in jest. i watched as he blushed. he actually blushed.

“did you just blush?” i asked.

“well you can’t give me an extremely graphic scene and except me not to imagine it,” he retorted, the pink in his cheeks subsiding as he got his gusto back.

“so you’re saying you just imagined me fingering myself. real classy, lip.” i teased, secretly loving the idea of it.

he opened his mouth as if in protest, but i put a finger to his lips. “shhhhh my dear lip. i’ve heard what i needed to hear.”

i kept scrolling, occasionally marking a box about masturbating. lip stayed silent, apparently in awe at how much i’ve done by myself.

“hey, i can help with that one,” he said, pointing at number 25, been undressed by member of preferred sex.

“why, yes you can. good thing you can read.”

he rolled his eyes. “tell me you’re wearing a bra under that shirt,” he begged.

“you really don’t want to see me shirtless?” i teased, this time tapping him on the nose.

“i don’t think you want me to see you shirtless,” lip replied, his eyes wide. “but maybe i’m wrong about you, princess.”

trying to disregard what that meant, i responded quick. “all you have to do is take my top off. quick and easy, and technically that’s undressing me.”

“whatever you say,” he said, sitting up and watching me with those perfect eyes. i watched as he softly tugged on the hem of my tank top, easily pulling it up and over my head. i let my hair fall back into place, and once i’d looked back up, lip was staring at me with an expression of utmost hunger.

he immediately looked away, apparently embarrassed to have been caught staring. “oh come on, lip. you’ve seen my body before.”

“i know, just,” he paused, considering his words carefully. “not like this.”

i blushed, rubbing my eyes to make it look like i’d made my face pink on purpose. i picked up my phone once again, finding my place. before lip could even say anything about number 30, i said, “i’m not giving you blue balls, so don’t even think about it.”

he looked scandalized. “i wasn’t even going to suggest that, princess. what little faith you have in me.”

i rolled my eyes, and handed him the phone. i moved down the couch and lay my head on his lap. “read them to me. i’ll tell you if i’ve done them.”

“had an orgasm due to someone else’s manipulation?” he asked.

“nope.”

“sent a sexually explicit text or instant message.”

“yes, actually.”

“dirty girl!” lip laughed. “who was the lucky recipient?”

“ugh, does it matter? obviously nothing came of it.”

“alright, alright. but what did you say?” he asked curiously.

i covered my eyes with my hand. “let’s just say it had something to do with a dream. and leave it at that.” i said, embarrassed.

“that gives me absolutely no information.” lip complained.

“that’s what you’re getting! check it off and move on.”

we had smooth sailing for a while, me giggling every time lip asked about anything sexual, us both knowing full well that i hadn’t done anything.

“used marijuana?” lip read.

“no,” i sighed for the hundredth time. instead of continuing, lip stopped.

he lowered the phone and gazed at me on his lap. “this i can help with.” he said confidently. “sit up a second?” he asked.

i did, gazing at him as he fumbled in his jeans pocket for something, finally pulling out an obviously self-rolled joint. “you’re gonna waste your weed on me?” i asked, and i meant it.

“not wasting anything,” he assured me, fishing around his other pocket for a lighter, which he soon retrieved. “i’ll show you.”

i watched him light the joint, watched the focus in his eyes, his fingers looking ever enticing doing something so nimble. he looked back up at me. “suck it in, but don’t inhale it. once it’s in your mouth, take a breath and let it go down.”

he demonstrated, putting the joint to his lips and slowly sucking in, letting it fill his mouth. he daintily took the joint out and took a deep, slow breath through his nose, easily inhaling the smoke. i watched him turn his head and blow it out the open window, ensuring no smoke waft in my room.

i was surely blushing, watching him do something he was so good at, but he payed no mind. “your turn,” he said, passing me the joint.

he nodded encouragingly, and repeated his instructions. “suck it in, just like that,” he said as i let the smoke fill my mouth. it was slightly sweet and incredibly strong. i couldn’t help it, i inhaled a tiny bit and started coughing up a storm. once i’d coughed up the rest of the smoke, i saw lip wasn’t making fun of me, but laughing and smiling. “first time’s always the hardest,” he assured me.

“i wanna try again,” i said boldly, putting the joint back up to my mouth.

“of course you’re trying again. i’m not leaving until you’ve successfully inhaled.”

i tried once more, sucking in the smoke slowly, letting the taste linger a little before taking a slow, deep breath, just as lip had, and feeling the fresh air mixed with the weed flood down my throat. i leaned over him and shakily exhaled out of the window, then turned back as he watched my proudly.

“and that’s how it’s done, ladies and gentlemen!” lip exclaimed, taking the joint back from me.

i made a mock bow and watched him gracefully take another hit. maybe it was the weed, or maybe i was just sick of waiting and watching him be perfect, but i said, “you know what i always wanted to try?”

“hm?” he inquired, flicking the joint so the ashes fell outside my window.

“shotgunning.” i held my breath, waiting for his response.

“then i absolutely must indulge,” lip confirmed, smiling wide. “come here,” he motioned for me to move closer to him. i did, my legs hanging across his lap as our faces drew ever nearer.

“you ready?” he asked. i nodded, eager beyond eager.

he slowly took a hit, inhaled, and moved closer to my face. his lips were less than a centimeter from mine, and i opened my mouth in anticipation. his unoccupied hand found the side of my head, and gripping my cheek, he opened his mouth and exhaled into my own, his eyes closed as if in pleasure.

i sucked in the smoke, pulling back from him, only to inhale and exhale right onto his face, watching his nose scrunch to prevent the smoke from traveling up his nostrils.

he opened his eyes, and finally said the words i’d been waiting to hear for years.

So the other day, I wound up taking a nap and had a dream about this and it was just one of those dreams that’s just so vivid and real. Like, color and touch and sound, the whole shabang. So here’s the dream in fanfic format <3 My dream didn’t take place in the old office, but it was still a kitchen and since there hasn’t been a new office tour, we’re just gonna have it be the old kitchen/kinda bar looking area. I kept this exactly as it was in my dream <3

Also, Ashley doesn’t exist in this, I will never include her in any Danny x Reader. Ever.

Might write more if people would like to see more.

Warnings: Swearing, secret relationships, takeout with its own ecosystem, age gap

Word count: 577

Masterlist

“Dude, no, it fucking sucks! It’s impossible!”

If anyone had ever told you that you would one day be sitting with the people you looked up to most, much less working and learning as a part of their business, you would have said that they were crazy. Granted, sometimes dreams do come true, but this one always felt too out there when you considered it. 

"I'm an adventurer"

"Okay but like, what's in your pants?"

i’ve not seen a lot in the media about this so i’m going to do my best to put this into words and explain what will happen if the government is successful in replacing the human rights act with the bill of rights (aka the rights removal bill).

this will mean that in the uk:

you won’t be allowed to say anything negative about the government

if you are disabled or chronically ill, you won’t be allowed to say no to being given a DNR in hospital

you won’t be allowed to bring ‘trivial’ human rights violations to court

public authorities (the police) won’t have to actively protect people’s human rights

the uk military will be allowed to basically do whatever they want overseas

if you ever commit a crime, they can disregard your human rights

the government will not be obligated to obey human rights

FINALLY! AFTER MONTHS ITS DONE! Yes i'm aware I lost a few gems but U don't see it!

Please don't ask me how long it took! 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

@kawaiibunga @dai-su-kiss @narwals14 @luna-tmnt @leosgirl82 @purplesugarbabe @turtle-babe83 @exovapor @raisin-shell @fyreball66 @thelostandforgottenangel @cowabunga-doll @severelychiefprincess @aurora-the-kunoichi @raphaelsrightarm @raphslovemuffin80 @mysticboombox @thelostandforgottenangel @ravn-87 @roxosupreme @forerunnertracer @foreignbrunette

Buff goddess

Shape-shifting pretty boy

OR

Summary: Y/N is in love with Draco, but Draco doesn’t believe in love.

Pairing: Draco x Reader Genre: Angst

Word count: 1k

Masterlist

Y/N Y/L/N spent a long time not believing in love. It wasn’t real in her mind, only something created to bring comfort to the agony that was reality. However all that changed when she laid eyes on him. 

Draco Malfoy. 

He was devastatingly beautiful with his platinum hair and eyes so gray that she swore she could see a storm brewing inside. Y/N always had to focus on her breath every time he was near, fearing he would somehow hear her breath hitch every time he spoke or looked in her direction.

Draco Malfoy made Y/N Y/L/N believe in love, but there was one problem. Draco Malfoy did not and there was nothing that could change his mind.

 Every single time Y/N even tried to broach the idea of love or relationships, Draco would brush off the idea, always saying some cynical remark that would bring an ache to Y/N chest. 

Y/N  and Draco were talking in the halls when Cedric and Cho walked past, holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. “They are so in love” Y/n spoke about the couple “isn’t it beautiful?” Y/n asked the boy who was already glaring at the couple . 

“More like revolting. I bet Diggory cheats on her in the next month” He said as he grimaced at the couple. Y/N smile falling.

Y/N thought a lot about that day, maybe coming to the conclusion that maybe Cedric and Cho weren’t the best examples since Draco detested them so much anyways. So she tried again, this time with a much better example. 

Y/N and Draco sat  in the courtyard, their backs to a tree. They both sat with a book propped up in their laps. Blaise and Theo standing a few feet away talking about Quidditch. Daphne and Pansy sat on a bench across the yard, giggling and laughing; whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears. 

Y/N smiled blissfully at the sight, happy to see her friends so happy, and so in love. Oh how badly she wished to experience such adoration. She was brought out of her thoughts by the voice of the boy she wished one day would be the one to shower her with such adoration. 

“What’s got you so smiley?” Draco asked

Y/N turned to face him, he was looking at her with raised brows. How could someone be so beautiful she thought to herself. 

“Pansy and Daphne” You replied, turning back to see the loving couple. 

“What about them?” Draco followed your gaze towards the couple. 

“Don’t you ever wish for that?” You asked tilting your head to the side “To be in love, and to experience such a love in return” You turned back to the boy, who was still watching the couple intently. You thought maybe you could see a sparkle in his eyes. A hope began to grow in your heart, but it was quickly stomped on by what he said next. 

“No. I don’t think so” He said passively before returning to his book. You swallowed your disappointment, returning to your own book, no longer caring about the budding romance between the two main characters. 

Draco’s cynical remarks and blatant hatred for love didn’t go away. Y/n eventually resigned herself to the idea that Draco would never care for love, or for her. The realization broke her but every time she spoke to him, every time they laughed or shared a look at each other from across the room. Hope would grow and if Y/n were being honest, she began to hate it. 

She hated having hope. So one day Y/N finally asked.

It was only an hour before dinner would be served, they sat on the floor of the astronomy tower, books and papers scattered between them. Y/N always had trouble with astronomy so when she asked Draco to assist her on her homework, he gladly obliged. 

They had been working for hours and the question kept nagging at her, she bit her lip to quench her frustrations but it was no use. She looked up from her work to the platinum haired boy in front of her. He had his brows furrowed as he tried correcting her work, most likely finding some error she had made. It was stranger how this rude, cynical and frustrating boy could always make her heart skip a beat. It was unfair, truly. 

“Draco” You asked, your voice soft and uncertain. 

Draco looked up at you immediately, a small smile tugging at his lips when he looked up at you. “Can I ask you something?” You said looking down, anxiety filling you. Merlin this was stupid. 

“You just did” Draco said with a smirk, you scoffed at his remark. He set your paper down, giving you his full attention. “Yeah sure.” 

“Why do you hate love so much?” You asked, finding some confidence as the words escaped your mouth. 

“I don’t hate love,” He said. Oh. There was hope again. 

“I hate heartbreak” He continued “I know I can be an ass sometimes but every relationship I’ve ever seen has ended horribly or the love eventually goes away. Dies off” You nodded along somewhat understanding. 

You never met Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy but it was common knowledge that the two had been madly in love in school. It was also common knowledge that they now hated each other. Most of Draco’s childhood consisted of the two arguing and fighting. 

“To me, relationships and love are just pure fiction. Heartbreak however, that’s real and that’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone” He explained. You nodded slowly, fully understanding why he felt the way he did but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. 

It was ironic in a way, Draco spent so much time avoiding love in fear of heartbreak and he had just broken yours. 

You returned to your homework after that, ignoring the ache in your chest. 

You never brought up the subject of love to Draco again after that. Draco Malfoy didn’t believe in love, and you couldn’t force him to. No matter how much it hurt you. 

Raphie boi!

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