oh my stars...

Author’s Note

If you’re still around, thank you. 

I started this fic in 2017 and have been wavering on finishing since. Still. I mean, it’s still not done, much to my chagrin.

I’ve never written such a long fic for soufflesandpies and it scares me, despite the fact that I have a whole movie that someone else has already written to base it on. Like an idiot, I added scenes to develop the relationship. I added characters from both fandoms to supplement it instead of just having Dean and Clara running around with the likes of rebel scum as Bodhi and Chirrut. Then I got scared writing those characters to the point where I just had whole marathons of both shows FOR. DAYS. trying to get voices right. (Alas, no one is perfect. Not me, and especially not my rendition of Twelve lmao.)

But my winter break is over in two weeks and I need this sucker out of my brain so I can fill the space with more stuff, so I’m going to try to post a piece of this monster everyday until I run out of content... or the thing is finished.

For the purpose of not spamming you, I’ll be posting the fic to my fledgling AO3. It’s got, like, seven parts in my drafts right now and it’s still not done, so it’ll be nice to have it all wrapped up there, where you can just hit next chapter.

I’ll still be updating here with links, so if you want to know when the next part goes up, you can safely turn on notifications without getting a million of them at once for useless reblogs.

Thanks for the likes and reblogs you’ve given on these fics. I promise you, they did not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Once again,

“We’re not open,” said a girl behind the counter. A teenager. Maybe even younger. Arms crossed. Looked like pissed was the only emotion she had.

“Sign says open,” he informed her, mimicking her deadpan.

“Then, it’s wrong,” she said. “We’re closed. For repairs.”

His stomach was now a gaping black hole that was sucking the rest of his mind inside. And his patience.

“Look, kid, is there someone in charge here?”

Someone should add Majorly Pissed to the short list of emotions this girl had. Her eyes caught flame.

“I am in charge here. We are closed.”

“Well, you said ‘we,’ so I’m assuming-”

The Elvis door burst open, revealing the backside of a waitress as she fought back a red hot inferno with a fire extinguisher half her size.

Then the fire retreated, sulking back into the kitchen.

She huffed a breath.

“I told you,” said the teenager, starting in again on a previous conversation, “the manual said—”

“I know what the manual said!” the waitress hissed. The door swung shut behind her.

Dean blinked.

“Repairs,” the girl said again. “Closed.”

“Kid,” said Dean, indicating her. Then, he nodded at the door. “In charge.”

He was expecting her to throw her head back with a groan and stomp off to the kitchen like a normal teenager. Instead, she stared angrily at him, floating through the Elvis door as she did. There was a whispered argument as Dean chose a seat at the bar. He had taken a menu and was skimming the list of options when the waitress from before breezed around him behind the counter, throwing a towel over her shoulder.

“A lot of the big kitchen items are off them menu while we work on our… repairs,” she said, rubbing an imaginary spot with the towel. “Mostly, the lunch options, but I’d be happy to—”

Dean looked up when she stopped. She was staring at him, her chest not moving with breath. Admittedly, he was kinda starstruck about her too. She was not exactly crappy roadside diner material. She was kinda cute, in that round-faced Tinkerbell kinda way.

“Hi,” she mustered. She found her smile.

“Hi,” he replied. He could have said more but the void in his stomach was churning. He returned to the menu. “So, the lunch options? What are they, like, completely off the table or easy to whip up?”

The spell broke for her.

“The burgers— The burgers aren’t doable, exactly, but the chicken sandwiches and salads are. Fries might take a while.”

“Chicken sandwich it is, then.” he said.

“Any dessert?” she asked. “Ice cream, souffles… pies?”

“Got apple?”

She gestured around at the too-American diner. “‘Course. Specialty.”

“Then, sure.” He replaced his menu and smiled politely as the waitress went around back.

* * * * * * * * * *

The arrival of both the sandwich and the fries were announced by more whispered conversation behind Elvis. It piqued his curiosity as his hunger was settling.

“Who’s that girl to you?” he asked as the waitress rubbed again at an invisible spot. “Cousin?”

“Uh, no. We’re just friends.”

He lifted a brow. “She’s just a kid.”

That made her laugh for some reason. “Believe me, she’s a lot more than she looks.” She leaned against the counter and exposed her dimpled smile at him. “What about you? Traveling alone?”

“Yeah,” he said. Then he deflected. “How did you get here?”

“Me?”

“Yeah.”

“I popped into a spaceship and whoosh we came here. Magic.”

“I believe you.”

She fixed the jar of straws in front of him for something to do. “Good, because that’s the truth.”

“And what were you before you partied with aliens?”

“Professional traveler. Teacher. Nanny.”

“That all?”

They laughed.

“And you?” She placed her chin on her hands and looked at him as if his story was the only one she had ever wanted to hear. “What do you do out there on the great American roadway by yourself in such a fancy car?”

He balled up his napkin on his plate. “I hunt monsters.”

“You don’t say.” She smiled. “Like what?”

“Vampires, ghosts, werewolves…”

“That all?”

They smiled at each other, like their lives were punchlines in other, more peaceful worlds.

“I’ll get you your pie.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Another whispered conversation behind Elvis.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked, sweeping around the counter.

“Not at all.”

“Good,” she said. She settled across from him. “Pie and coffee for you, souffle and tea for me.”

He clinked cups with hers, trying to unfeel the feeling that this was turning into something of a date and that he kind of really liked it.

“So, uh– Souffle, huh? Is that why your diner is so overboard with…” He gestured to everything. “To compensate for the un-American-ness of its owners?”

“I’m sorry?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “I mean– C’mon, the Elvis portrait, the red seats, the sun setting over the American west in front of a cowboy?”

The waitress snorted into her drink. To her, it wasn’t a cowboy but an old friend. An old version of an old friend. Only she knew that the gun in his hand was not a gun.

But Dean didn’t know what to make of that response, so he went on the defense. “I’m just saying is all. It’s like a McFly might come running in at any second.”

“And Biff right after? Ugh, god, I hate when that happens,” she said into her cup.

He smiled.

“But what about you, though?” she asked, rather suddenly some time later. “Monster hunting alone sounds dangerous. Don’t you need, like, a team of experts?”

“Of, what, supernatural investigators?” he replied. “Not my style.”

“But maybe, like, a van and a smart girl with short hair and a pretty girl with know-how and a tall one and a dog?”

“Wait, you saying I’m Fred?”

“Well, you at least need a tall one,” she deflected. “Shaggy hair. Little-brother type, not exactly needing help all the time but needing help sometimes. Got one of those?”

“Sam,” he said. Aloud. He didn’t mean to but she was talking so fast and her accent and her eyes….

She warmed her hands around her cup and brought it up to her face. “Sam. Who’s that?”

Dean was never one to overshare. In fact, he hardly told anyone this much in one meeting. But he told her. He told her every annoying thing about Sam, which took the whole day, until the sun was down and the moon was shivering above the mountains and seconds of pie had been delivered. Through it all, she hung on every word, her eyes shining with nothing but interest.

“Wait, so all this took place years ago?” she said. “What happened? Where has Sam gone?”

“Stanford.”

“Ooh.” She whistled. “You must be proud.”

He shrugged.

“You’re not proud?” she asked. “You’ve come all this way to visit.”

“No, actually,” he said. “I’m heading up to Oregon. Our dad went up there for a job and he hasn’t checked in for a while. It’s not unusual but— it was an important job.”

“So why’d you head westward instead of northwest? Surely, something’s calling you to California.”

“What, like, fate?”

“Maybe.”

He gave her a look like, Sweetheart. Please.

He needed a break from his life. “So why did you come here?”

“Here?”

“Nowhere, New Mexico. Why here?”

“Meeting someone.” She looked up at the cowboy. “Well, not really meeting. This diner just needs to be here on time.”

Dean blinked. “Well, that wasn’t cryptic.”

“Neither was your route to Oregon.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m not bothering Sam at school. He’s moved on.”

“From monster hunting?” she asked, incredulously. “No one ever moves on from monster hunting. I mean, it’s monster hunting, the family business.”

“You moved on from being jumping aboard alien spaceships.”

Her eyes flicked around the diner. “Have I, though?” 

Before he could decode her meaning, she leaned over the counter for the first time and touched his hand. Her gaze was penetrating, peeling back every layer of him and not in the end-of-a-good-date kind of way.

“Go to him,” she urged. “Find Sam, find your dad, be together for Christmas.”

“That sounds too simple for my family.”

“Well, it could be.” She squeezed.

Then, she collected their dishes in the sink behind her and went past him to the kitchen one more time.

“Look,” she said, standing in front of Elvis. “You said you were done running after Sam. But I think we both know: you aren’t.”

The door didn’t swing behind her as it did before. It just shut, like a dismissal.

He left some cash on the counter and took his leave.

As Dean drifted down the highway, he came across a junction that would guide him northward or farther west to where the mountains met the sea. He tried not to think of the latter as an option, but even loud music couldn’t drown out the idea that waitress had planted in his head. 

He steered towards California. It didn’t matter what she thought about his motives. Maybe he just wanted some more sunshine before hitting Oregon. Maybe he wanted to hang out near college chicks and people his age. Maybe it’d just been too damn long since he’d seen his brother. 

And so what? There’s bound to be a job somewhere down there. Yeah. Maybe that was it. Maybe something else was calling.

* * * * * * * * * *

“That’s not what we came here for,” said Ashildr, irritated, back in the console room.

She and Clara circled each other evenly around the TARDIS console.

“No,” Clara agreed. She had gotten used to her companion’s sulky attitude, and to be honest, after a long overdue date with Dean Winchester, nothing could bring her down. “But I think he needed it.”

“He didn’t even know who you were,” she pointed out.

“And I don’t think he will. Not for a while anyways,” Clara responded. “But that’s fine. That’s the fun in time travel, innit? You can set in motion important moments in history. Important for him because he meets up with his brother and saves the world. Important for his brother because he finds his family again, where he belongs and all that.”

She toggled a few switches, while Ashildr pushed a few buttons on her side. Their TARDIS shifted gently to one side and slid into the spacetime vortex. The job done, they walked towards each other, hands on the console.

“And important for you because…?”

“Important for me because his path crosses mine. And that feels important to me.”

Ashildr smiled and walked away with the console screen. “He’ll blow away, you know.”

Clara smiled back. Ashildr didn’t know Dean’s history. Or his future.

text from Dean to Sam : where the hell are you text from Clara to Jess : hey where are you?    text from Jess to Clara : in the haunted house with Sam text from Sam to Dean : i’m with jess text from Dean to Sam : jesus are you guys making out text from Sam to Dean : no text from Dean to Sam : friggin unbelievable text from Sam to Dean : wait you didn’t actually come did you text from Clara to Jess : but you said we’d ride the ferris wheel together text from Clara to Jess : y’know text from Clara to Jess : because we’re supposed to both be single and revolting against those cliches where carnivals are only for couples text from Clara to Jess : BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT. text from Jess to Clara : clara please text from Jess to Clara : sam’s special to me okay? text from Sam to Dean : is that the ferris wheel? text from Sam to Dean : i didn’t even know you knew how to access the camera on your phone text from Dean to Sam : i’m not an idiot text from Dean to Sam : stupid text from Dean to Sam : what the hell am i supposed to do now text from Dean to Sam : all the chicks here are already partnered up text from Dean to Sam : it’s like noah’s friggin ark out here text from Clara to Jess : fine text from Sam to Dean : wait i recognize that girl in that picture text from Sam to Dean : the one right in front of the ferris wheel text from Dean to Sam : bangs? text from Sam to Dean : yeah that’s clara

text from Clara to Jess : no wait please come over here text from Clara to Jess : there’s a guy who keeps looking over his phone at me text from Dean to Sam : she’s kinda cute text from Dean to Sam : in that english teacher way text from Sam to Dean : ??? text from Sam to Dean : look just go say hi to her text from Dean to Sam : no dude text from Dean to Sam : she looks like she’s getting ready to pepper spray me text from Jess to Clara : do not pepper spray him text from Clara to Jess : does this mean you’re near text from Jess to Clara : no it means that i’m looking over at sam’s phone text from Jess to Clara : that’s his brother dean text from Clara to Jess : i’m not seeing the resemblance text from Jess to Clara : hah no one does -S text from Clara to Jess : please don’t make me say hi text from Jess to Clara : look the ride is only what five???? text from Jess to Clara : maybe six minutes long??? text from Jess to Clara : just give me and sam that much time text from Jess to Clara : we’ll meet up with you guys later text from Jess to Clara : it’ll be like a group thing text from Clara to Jess : ugh fine

text from Dean to Sam : she just looked at me text from Dean to Sam : now she’s dragging herself to the line text from Dean to Sam : what do i do text from Sam to Dean : just get in line with her text from Dean to Sam : am i supposed to ride with her text from Sam to Dean : your call

text from Clara to Jess : they called for another single rider when i sat down text from Clara to Jess : AND GUESS WHO RAISED HIS HAND text from Jess to Clara : it’s fine text from Clara to Jess : no it’s not text from Jess to Clara : why text from Clara to Jess : i think he’s turned green

text from Dean to Sam : not your brightest idea sammy text from Dean to Sam : so remember that one plane ride with dad text from Sam to Dean : jesus text from Sam to Dean : it’s just one hundred feet off the ground text from Dean to Sam : christ whyd you make me look down text from Sam to Dean : DON’T DO THAT

text from unknown to Clara : dean has a fear of heights text from Clara to unknown : yea i realized that text from Clara to unknown : who is this text from unknown to Clara : his brother text from Sam to Clara : just distract him

text from Jess to Clara : we’re on our way

text from Dean to Sam : so your friend has brown eyes text from Sam to Dean : how you holding up text from Dean to Sam : haven’t puked yet so *thumbs up emoji* text from Dean to Sam : but i might in order to make a point text from Sam to Dean : what

text from Clara to Jess : well i said something to him text from Clara to Jess : HE IS INFURIATING

Now Entering Group Chat : Clara, Sam, Jess text from Sam to group : what did he say now text from Clara to group : aliens dont exist text from Jess to group : ??? text from Sam to group : that’s IT??? text from Clara to group : it’s ABSURD not to think so text from Clara to group : THE UNIVERSE IS HUGE text from Clara to group : to think humans are the only life forms is egotistical and IGNORANT text from Sam to group : ...okay

text from Dean to Sam : sam you gotta get me off this friggin wheel text from Dean to Sam : she’s NUTS text from Sam to Dean : they’re gonna try to get you off the next round text from Sam to Dean : just hang in there

text from Clara to Jess : what was that noise text from Clara to Jess : why are we stopped text from Jess to Clara : … text from Jess to Clara : so there’s been a slight technical problem

text from Dean to Sam : FUCK text from Sam to Dean : we could hear you say that from here text from Sam to Dean : at least you’re not at the top text from Dean to Sam : aT lEaSt Ur nOt aT tHe ToP text from Sam to Dean : ??? text from Sam to Dean : are you trying to mock me in text form

text from Clara to Jess : WELL WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW text from Jess to Clara : enjoy the view? text from Clara to Jess : ha ha.

text from Dean to Sam : i’m gonna friggin spiderman my why down from here

text from Clara to Jess : hey good news i think he’s gonna jump

text from Sam to Dean : DO NOT SPIDERMAN YOUR WAY DOWN

text from Jess to Clara : can you keep it down? i think you’re disturbing the other passengers

text from Jess to Clara : god cant you guys just talk like civilized human beings text from Clara to Jess : HE keeps starting it!

text from Dean to Sam : it’s been twenty minutes what’s going on text from Sam to Dean : repair guy just showed up text from Dean to Sam : jesus

text from Clara to Jess : stars, he’s really looking down text from Sam to Clara : DON’T LET HIM LOOK DOWN text from Clara to Jess : tell your boyfriend to back out of our conversation text from Clara to Jess : i mean sad text from Jess to Clara : yeah sam told me text from Jess to Clara : their dad hasn’t been home in a while text from Clara to Jess : oh text from Jess to Clara : sam says he’s not worried but dean.. well. text from Jess to Clara : better than going to a bar to look for a fight, right? text from Clara to Jess : i’m gonna talk to him text from Jess to Clara : clara… text from Clara to Jess : differently, this time. i’ll try a new tactic.

text from Clara to Dean : is that someone else or is it you i hear crying for your mum text from Dean to Clara : mum? are you sure it ain’t you?

text from Dean to Clara : ah, so it has a smile

text from Sam to Jess : where did you go text from Sam to Jess : i lost you text from Jess to Sam : i went back around to the side of the ferris wheel to see how they were doing and text from Jess to Sam : LOOK text from Sam to Jess : the video’s kinda dark but text from Sam to Jess : is that ?? are they ?? text from Sam to Jess : WHAT THE HELL text from Jess to Sam : RIGHT?! text from Sam to Jess : i don’t want to see that text from Sam to Jess : i don’t need to see that text from Jess to Sam : wow look at them go text from Jess to Sam : maybe i picked the wrong winchester ;) text from Sam to Jess : … text from Jess to Sam : i’m kidding text from Jess to Sam : i love you text from Sam to Jess : i love you too text from Jess to Sam : now let’s give them hell

text from Jess to Clara : WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE text from Sam to Dean : I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE GONNA RIP EACH OTHER’S THROATS OFF text from Dean to Sam : feminist types man text from Dean to Sam : they’re just hotter when you get them riled up