TheDeepwaterSystem

"Our system's name represents a brine pool - a rare and misunderstood phenomenon found deep in the ocean. In nature, nothing can survive within a brine pool because of its extreme salt salinity. Similarly, wee see ourselves as a brine pool: a space that others struggle to understand or enter. Our experiences and trauma have created depths that few can truly grasp, making it difficult for others to step into our world and see things from our perspective."

"We are a steadily growing system of 50+ alters, originating from a traumagenic experience."

"Fictives are apart of our system as well, and we are steadily growing our own fictive collective as well."

Dating: @jiraisaki-kanade at the DesertRoseCollective, and Stan,. <3

What content do we make?

Mostly vent/personal vent content about our life.

DID/System posts or posts about the plural community

Occasional game posts

ESSA/DSSA content

Art/drawings

A lot more that I cant remember

• Trigger warnings:

Topics of self harm, emotional/verbal manipulation and abuse, parental personification, traumatic rant and vent posts, dissociation, derealizing, cursing, homophobia/transphobia (not from me/mentioned from other people), religious trauma, topics of heavy alcohol abuse, impure age regression, suicide/suicidal ideation, depression and depressive episodes, anxiety, panic attacks, racism (not from me/said by other people) etc.

Please proceed with caution if any of these topics trigger you. I will try my best to tag whatever could be triggering to someone.

Our main account (this one) is for venting and heavier topics that revolve around our life. We may make a non-vent blog that we will tag here → (if no account pops up then we haven't made said account yet)

We are also in a Jirai/Jiraiblr lifestyle - Recovery is inaccessible to us.

About our Host and Co-hosts

“Heya! My name is Sora, and I am the primary social host of our system! It’s nice to meet you, feel free to reach out if any of our interests align. I will most likely be the one posting most of the time and replying to people reaching out. I front 90% of the time, so you’ll likely be talking to me. Have a lovely morning/day/night, and please take care of yourself lovelies <3” (He/Him)

“Yo, my name is Stan, and I’m a co-host of the system. I probably won’t be replying or posting as much like Sora, but I will be along for the ride. Feel free to say hi if you wanna talk or something. I’m all ears.” /werewolf pun (He/They)

“Hello, My name is J.D. I’m a co-host and acting primary gatekeeper of the system. It’s.. It’s nice to meet you.” (He/They)

“Hi, my name is Evan and I’m a co-host of our system. If you need any help, feel free to ask any of us your questions. We love when people ask about us out of curiosity or the desire to be friends.” (He/Him)

Diagnosed with POTS, ADHD, chronic anxiety, depression, kyphosis, hallucinations, astigmatism, lazy eye, DID, ASD, and insomnia/hypersomnia.

Pending diagnoses: OCD, PTSD/C-PTSD, mobility issues that require aids, immunodeficiency/low immune system, ARFID, and functioning tics.

FREE TO INTERACT (FTI) if you: aren't any of the things mentioned in the DNI list!

DO NOT INTERACT (DNI) if you’re: Homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, conservative/far right leaning/republican/MAGA, pro-life, anti-immigrant, pro-ICE, anti-mental health, creeps, pedos, or overall just very judgemental of expression and basic human rights.

Safe space for: Endogenic systems, therian’s, furries, kimonomimi, chronic illness, POC, people of the LGBTQIA+ community, etc. all are welcome!

Please: reach out! we would love to make more friends. Also, politely ask for our socials if you'd like!

Tags and signoffs:

(Currently we have so many alters that we will not be putting all of their own individual tags and signoffs, but we will be putting our alters that front the most in the tags category. I hope everyone understands <3)

Post tags:

❔️Blurry posts ;

✖️ Not written by Sora ;

⚕️Vent (or) Personal vent ;

⚠️ Trigger warnings (always listed, especially if extreme) ;

Alter signoffs:

Sora ; 🌌My end result is always mediocrity

Stan ; 🐺Fuckass werewolf

J.D. ; 🎲Dungeon dice master

Evan ; 🦎Nervous tail detach

It's gotten worse. This year fucking sucks already, and I know it'll probably get worse. My dad drinks more and earlier. Instead of his earliest being 3pm, its starting to happen at 11am. 12 pm. Even 1pm. Its like ever since my birthday has gotten closer and passed, hes drinking more. I know he's under stress, but I feel so unsafe. Like i'll make one wrong move and he'll criticize my relationship again. Make me feel like shit and tear me down again.

I've come to hate parents now. Not just mine, but other peoples. My friends who are constantly tormented by their horrible parents. My partners parents who do so much harm to him, and also separated us for so long.

I hate my life and how uninteresting its become. I wake up, take my meds (if i even do that) get on my computer, do school, play a few games, feel antsy all day, clean so my dad wont yell at me, try to apply for things that'll give me money or get me out of here, greet my dad when he comes home, then try to avoid him for my protection. I want to feel in control, but I don't. I try to cope, but nothing works. I try to calm myself down but all I do is make myself worry more.

I feel like I'm spiraling, trapped here under the expectations of my dad.

The world is shit. Just because I'm white doesn't mean i wont face discrimination. I'm gay, probably trans instead of bi-gender. I'm on the spectrum, have many disorders, disabled, and require more care than I already have.

The house i live in is still a mess. I have pets i neglect due to my amnesia, disabilities, and honestly pure laziness. My dog is scared shitless of us because we neglect her. We sometimes don't feed her (purely accidental i can assure you) my dad sprays her with water because she asks for belly rubs all the time but he turns it sexual. We call her a slut and a whore just for being loved, and tell her to shut up when she's happy to see us and howls.

Spike, my bearded dragon, just sits in his cage, under his heat lamp, sleeping and barely pooping. I want to take him out, but my dog wants to eat him. I'm afraid he'll get hurt. He doesn't get the proper food he needs. he requires salad, nut just cilantro and grasshoppers. but were too broke to afford much food for ourselves, let alone him.

I want a fucking job, but I'm declined left and right. I'm told to give my resume in-person but i know it still wont work out. I'm getting older, but every day that passes i still feel younger. Like that little girl who just wants sober parents who love her, instead of this tranny boy who can never do anything right.

I'm so miserable. I don't wanna die, but I don't want to live either. I wanna talk to my dad about everything I feel, but I know he'll just belittle my feelings, tell me that "Oh you think you're tired? What about me, huh? I'm tired, but you never think of me. Only yourself."

I can't even tell my therapist about my dad's abuse because every appointment that we've booked so far, he's present for. He's always there. He's always listening. And he'll probably scream at me for not talking to him about it. As if he'll ever fucking change after begging him to stop drinking on multiple occasions.

No, this isn't a suicide note, and no, I don't plan on offing myself. I'm just tired. I'm sick of my life and need an outlet before I explode and do something drastic.