&&. one day i will confess to all my sins.
she believes that in the world she was born into only those who are truly good people will find happiness, pure and simple happiness. raised with the belief that the worst thing to happen to the young woman would be to be a victim of sins, she feared everything that came even close to those. a fair young girl with a look on her face that spelled out her inner secrets, that she was rightful, that she was no one to take lightly when it came to making the right choices.
she’s twenty-one. she’s a girl and at the same time a woman, child and adult, taken full and taken care off. she’s right in between everything, and right in between head and heart.
she’s twenty-one and she longs for something she can’t have, she longs for a possible outcome that her head despises and her heart desires. she wants solace, she wants the voices in her head to finally stay silent, keep from telling her to wait or to stop waiting, tugging on her like two tugging on something they both want.
will she end up being ripped apart? and if, will he be there once more to mend her injuries?
will she meet this fate once more?
a sin, she tells herself, it’s a sin to think this way. it’s a sin to feel this way, to be so focused on something so much. it’s not her first thought in the morning, it’s not the fairytale that keeps her awake at night but it’s rather the reality that comes back to her whenever she’s feeling down. it’s a thought that keeps her going, makes her want to be a better person.
she wants the happiness every good person receives. will he bring along that happiness? he’s darkness, he’s a person who fits the description perfectly. he’s the opposite of what she is.
he’s the only sin she desperately wants to commit.
and still her head says no, her head tells her to stop being silly, to get her head out of the clouds and return to reality. darkness does not fall for a girl like a crack in the wall.
and yet she’d look God straight in the eye and tell him that if loving him was a sin then she wants no place in heaven because the way his word play over and over in her head is the type of paradise she’ll never forget.
