having my head blown “smoove off” as we speak

I wish I had normal writing problems like “I’m un-motivated” or “have writer’s block” or “fell out of love with the source media” but it’s just sooooo 😭😭 In writing I wish to give characters some sort of life essence or soul or whatever in order to not feel dull and wildly ooc and in the past this meant I would just inject a part of mine into them for 50% character/background research 50% lived experience or whatnot. However, I now have nothing to give (think “ego death” but in this case, instead of some spiritual awakening/reinvention of the self where a new being was created from the ashes of the previous one, nothing ever grew back and now my vessel is merely being remotely piloted because they also yoinked the previous pilot outta my meat suit and took him out behind the shed rip little guy) and all aspects of memory and personality are assumed, like reading off a script and mimicking it well (I am going to get a good grade in Human, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve—) and therefore I fear that every character I write is now flat and bland and one-dimensional because I too am now the same and cannot impart any sense of individuality or soul to a character because I have none. Like how can I emulate the essence of life in a character when I have nothing to go off of. Do they have a guide for this shit or am I supposed to take a biopsy sample of myself and attempt to grow a homunculus twin in my Petri dish that I can observe. Anyway. 😭 Fuck it we ball. ✌🏽