moved.

i know that i haven’t made a personal post in a while, but i’m desperate and out of options. i am very scared.

there’s a person in my home that, two days ago, kept threatening me with violence. i’m 5′2 and he’s … much bigger and taller. he almost threw glass at me, at one point he pulled out a weapon on me because i took my mom’s room (that she offered) and he threatened to pay someone to beat me up

i can’t do this anymore. before i had the option of a gofundme or a youcaring or sharing my cash.me link i had a whole suicide note drawn up, but something in me told me to do this so i’m going for it and i really hope it works out because otherwise, i have no other options and i CANNOT do it for much longer.

 i’ve been locked in my room for days. i only leave to drink water or go to the bathroom. i don’t even eat because he occupies the living room and i’d have to pass him to get to the kitchen, which is what pissed him off enough to send him on a rant threatening to end my life. nobody in my family likes the cops (for obvious reasons) and i need my laptop as that’s really one of the few material posessions i have and need for school.

my last meal was yesterday because my sister bought me food, but idk when i can be able to eat again and i’m scared because i  haven’t been downstairs eating regularly since may and i’ve lost probably 20+ pounds

i need $900. I have $95. So, a little over 10% of the way there, but still not enough. i’d hope to get it by the end of this month, but as soon as possible. $900 would go towards the deposit and rent of an apartment i’d share with 2 friends, plus any other utility or moving costs. my scholarship and my job that starts August 6th will pay off the rest in august but i have to leave asap because i can’t do this much longer. 

i hate tying my identity to this blog.

my cash.me link is cash.me/$yss1rhc 

i have a youcaring link (takes paypal) and a gofundme link (takes 5% of all donations) that, if you ask for, i can pm to you to donate (because it does contain personal information, please only ask for it if you know you’re going to donate and you can’t pay with a card (i understand.) 

otherwise, i’m content with the cash.me

if you can’t donate, please, i’m begging you to reblog because i don’t know what to do anymore. usually i draw and offer commissions but my mental health is completely shot and i can’t… do anything.

if you donate, i do believe in positive energy and i’ll find a way to pay it back + pay it forward because it warms me how much people have helped me so far.

i wouldn’t do this if i didn’t think it was absolutely necessary. my heart is breaking at the fact that i would ever have to do this. 

mom friend personalities with time zone issues leads to occasional clashes

Inej was not a seer, but she remembers the one true seer that had traveled with them when she was a child. She remembers the sound of the young woman’s bells and beads and bracelets when she moved. She remembers the smell of the tent, the incense that clung to orange silks. The shine of her dark hair in all its twists and braids, falling in contrast to the ruby and blood reds of her beautiful jackal mask. She remembers the lilt her voice had when she spoke of fortunes and prophecies. The safety Inej always felt when she would sit with her at the fire, playing with Inej’s hair and whispering of all the things she will do.

Inej Ghafa remembers a lot more than that, a lot more than most.

Read the prologue on AO3

Ok, I should have done this months ago (sorry dev!!), but better late than never! So, if you’re new to the fandom or just want some great soc/ck blogs to follow, here’s my official list!

@savagekaz (Nina): THE BEST. HEADCANON AND FANFIC AUTHOR. ON HERE. No question about it. The range she stretches across is simply astounding; she can go from Wesper headcanons to Inej’s birthday stories to an AU where Jordie’s alive (!!!) in no time at all. I’ve never seen any other person have such an extensive amount of literary comprehension as Nina does. I also have the sneaking suspicion that Leigh follows her blog, since she constantly reblogs Nina’s posts all the time. In addition, she’s also the sweetest person ever, and I’m honored that she considers me her friend.

@save-the-dream (Jay): Ok, if you want some top-notch, L. Bardugo style, tear-your-heart-to-pieces stories about the Dregs, look no further than Jay’s blog. She writes like a season author who’s on her tenth publication; really, I’m astounded that she hasn’t even published a book yet. (Jay, if you see this, know that I’m buying about ten copies of your first original work as soon as it comes out). And I may talk about how I’m the #1 Kanej Fan and write about them constantly, but wow, I’ve got nothing on Jay. She writes about them so well and so meticulously, in so many different universes and AUs, and they’re all absolutely fantastic. So yeah, if you’re a Kanej fan, definitely follow Jay.

@zoyalina (Cassie): If you want to make edits/gifsets about the Dregs or the Grishaverse, I highly implore you to follow Cassie. Her edits and gifsets just blow me away every single time. She’s so passionate about what she does, and she never fails to make me smile. If sunshine were a person, it’d be her. Seriously, even if you aren’t a big fan of edits, I suggest following Cassie immediately. She’s one of the most Iconic™ bloggers in this fandom (which includes Nina as well) and you’ll be delighted at her works every time.

@heart-brekker: Now, you must know this before you read on. The Six of Crows fandom has two sectors: the meticulous, where fans make beautiful edits, stories, etc. and the hilarious, where fans post crack headcanons, incorrect quotes, and basically just joke about the Dregs (a common subject is Kaz being Ketterdam’s Official Drama King). @heart-brekker has the most hysterical posts and crack contributions I’ve ever seen here. And oh man, the puns. Such an amazing sense of humor, and they’ve supported me through so much of my work. Definitely give them a follow!

@lnej (Dev): The Official Badass Edit Center. Her edits are always so polished and clean; they look like they could be featured on a magazine! And she reblogs so many great and creative edits as well: works that somehow don’t make it to the top of the #soc page when you search that hashtag on Tumblr. I also envy her control of aesthetics: she’s organized her blog down to every last post!

@rithmeres (Rey): Now, who’s ready to follow the best cosplayer in this fandom? Rey’s cosplay as Kaz is spot on, and I constantly suspect whether she’s Kaz in disguise. But wait! Not only does she dress up and slay the cosplay game, she’s also a master hand at making edits and moodboards. In addition, she also does some amazing fanart. Basically, she’s everything I aspire to be on here, and I’m not worthy of her talented presence.

@mathiashevlr (Libby): A healthy mix of humor, edits, voice challenges, fanart, and an all around amazing friend to scream at when you have an idea or a headcanon just pops into your head. She’s also a great writer as well, so I highly recommend checking out her writings. (Psst, if you’re a big supporter of Kuwei, you might want to look here). She’s one of my closest friends on here, and I don’t think I’d ever be here without her loving support.

@fourmillionkruge (Alex): Make sure you’re not drinking any sort of liquid when you go here, because this blog will make your sides hurt with laughter. A simply hysterical sense of humor and one of the first blogs I ever followed. Alex posts the most hilarious crack posts and the tags underneath them are a treat to read. And if you’re a Wesper fan, you’ll never regret following this blog.

@sucker-for-six-of-crows (Maddy): If you want to see the Dregs characterized as different subjects (characters driving, cats, etc.) in gifsets, I suggest you look at Maddy’s blog. She posts incorrect quotes and crack posts that keep me laughing until two in the morning. And if you’re interested in fanvids, keep your eyes peeled for her great trailer for the SOC series.

@jesperinej (Ashlee): A blog I’ve admired from afar for many months, but only just recently started to talk to. She’s one of my biggest supporters, and an even bigger fan/supporter of Jesper Fahey. Delightful tags to read, and a big fanart promoter. She’s one of the greatest people I’ve ever had the fortune to meet in this fandom.

@hiswraithqueen: One of the most ardent Nikolai Lanstov supporters I’ve ever seen, and a good blog to start off your following list. Now, if you’re like me, who needs to scream at someone online for my headcanons or story ideas, shoot them across messaging to this blog. She and I have shared many days just screaming/co writing a story with our screamed headcanons. Honestly, a piece of advice for writers entering this fandom is to just shoot us a message, either in our ask box or in messaging (as long as you’re considerate and your opinion isn’t hateful, of course). That’s how I’ve built my friendship with her, and I’ve never regretted it once.

@fittes (Kate): One of this fandom’s fantastic fanart producers and promoters. And if you like Hamilton, boy, are you in for a treat. Kate’s the person you go to for the #hamforcrows content. She made a My Shot post concerning the Dregs, and she and I collaborated on who amongst the Dregs + Co. will play the different roles in the play (the post is somewhere on Leigh’s blog, which I’m still reeling over). She runs a multifandom blog, but she’s one of the greatest people you’ll ever meet in this fandom.

@clearlynotclaire (Claire): An amazingly talented artist and fanart producer. I’m simply honored that I can get to call Claire my official illustrator. She draws amazing illustrations for so much of my stories/au lists voluntarily, and it’s always such a delightful surprise to look at her work. Her enthusiasm always makes me smile, and she’s always there for me whenever I need to talk/cry about the Dregs.

@dregs-of-the-barrel (Anna): I’m still not completely convinced that Anna isn’t a professor, because her written works look like they should be gold plated, carefully written down with ink, and hung on the wall in a frame. She analyzes and writes about Kanej with an astounding sense of insight, and I’m constantly in awe whenever she talks about any of the Dregs.