You've Gotta Believe In Something

You broke me.

You broke me down to the point that I hated everything, even myself.

When we met I was so happy, full of love, full of life, but what I didn’t know is that you were full of darkness, a darkness that would lead to our demise.

Everything was so perfect, and then it wasn’t. One day you decided that you would just leave and never talk to me again.

I was numb, broken, could not feel anything.

The first thing I felt was despair, but I was glad to be feeling again.

I gave myself to others that did not deserve me, but I was so broken that I didn’t know what I needed or deserved.

I saw you once again and you decided that you wanted my body all over again. And that is exactly what I gave you.

Now that months and months have passed since I let what you made me feel determine my actions, I am again happy, full of life, full of love. But I am also full of fear, terrified that I will run into another you and have to restart again.

But now rather than running back to you, I would rather stand my ground and make you turn away. If you came back I would just tell you

You do not deserve me anymore, you do not get my body, you do not get my mind, and you do not get my heart. I no longer have the want to be in your arms and no longer feel like I need you.

I will tell you to walk away because I no longer need the toxicity of your love in my life.

I will tell you to leave.