A.B

It feels like everyday is just another day, some good, some bad. I’m happy to have some and then others I never want to think of again. When you come around... it’s like I’ve never experienced anything life has to offer until the moment you’re on the other end of the phone. Or you’re standing right in front of me. I’ve felt good, I’ve laughed myself to tears, I’ve had moments that I never want to end.. but when you’re here, actually present in something other than just my mind... those things are nothing. They don’t even compare. You are the warmth, the light, the reason sometimes. It’ll be a year, maybe even two and I’ll be falling down the rabbit hole, playing with the thought of calling it quits as if it were a puppy. Then I pause. I think of you. How you’ll call me out of the blue. I can always, will always, and have always held out for that moment. Your voice. Coming back to me in the darkest parts of the vast ocean my mind goes to... and when it finally comes, I don’t remember ever being lonely or blue or angry or violent or misunderstood. All I do is...feel. For the very first time over and over again.