Bring me flowers, and maybe we'll talk for hours

I was wrapped in his arms as we both lyed there completely naked and he whispered to me. "Would you ever take me back? 20 years from now?" The question seemed idiotic. 20 years from now my life would be different . I will have had a family of my own . A husband . A whole new world . In this moment you're all I know. You're the only love I know . You're the only other body I've grown used to. In 20 years time I will have known greater loves. Other bodies . Things will be so different . But maybe I would. I can't see waiting 20 years tho. I want us to be together for 20 years, not in 20 years . Have me now, and ill have you now. We won't ever have to look back . I'll forgive you for your past if you forgive me for mine. Our love story doesn't have to be finished if don't want it to be. But what is it that we both really want? I'm nowhere sure of what that is.

my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it

You ended things with me for her, and yet you're on your way to my house right now... What the fuck is wrong with the two of us?

I am at peace.

I'm having just one of those fuck you days . Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you. I hate that I fucking miss you . I fucking hate that I do. You put me through so much shit but I fucking love you . You may have not been the one to take my virginity but you were my first every thing . My first love . The first person I let love me. The first person I let my parents meet. My first real relationship . My first orgasm . Literally everything you were my first , and losing you is really fucking hard. I might act like I'm over you already and want you to not text me ever again , but fuck all I want is to be cuddled up with you in my bed . I'm fighting every urge I can not to text you right now . Literally every urge . I cried today for the first time in awhile . I wish I didn't but I did. I wish I didn't still want you but I do .