He never sleeps with a comforter. Lumine suspects it’s due to spending one too many nights in the wilderness where one does not always have the luxury of a bed. 

Nevertheless, she’ll drop her heavy pack at the door, prying the gloves from her fingers and padding across the threshold of their shared apartment.

It doesn’t matter how many times she relives this scene every night - Lumine surrenders any mental baggage at the door just like her travel pack. Every bad thought, every shred of anxiety, it stays at the entrance the moment she arrives home. 

Yes, home. 

She looks forward to this moment above anything else, it’s what keeps her core driven. That is, at the end of another cycle, a loved one is waiting for her. Her loved one. 

Lumine will watch him sleep then, lowering herself softly beside his disheveled state. Depending on the time and day, she’ll find him strewn about on different sides of the bed. Sometimes, his head hangs lopsided over the edge with both arms stuck straight out. 

He’s always been a tad messy in everything he does - but in his own funny little way that makes him uniquely Childe. 

And sometimes (but this only happens occasionally) she’ll discover Childe facing the complete opposite direction than how they normally sleep, the pillows untouched at his feet. 

When she asks him about this, he’ll reply with a cheeky grin, “Don’t you know, Ojou-chan? The best way to fall asleep if you’re having trouble is to face the other way!”

Or, her favorite, “See, this is why you should come home earlier, Ojou-chan, and then I will have no choice but to sleep soundly besides you.”

Lumine always shakes her head at him, calling him a silly goose which then warrants his big hand ruffling her hair. 

But despite where she might find his slumbering figure, Lumine never fails to go directly to him first - her own needs be damned. 

And she’ll drag her hand through those soft orange waves, curling her fingers around his chin and subconsciously releasing any remaining pent up energy the moment he sighs against her touch. He reminds her of a little boy when he sleeps, the way Childe will physically curl into her hand - sometimes even burrowing his face into the folds of her dress as if savoring her smell. 

He twitches in his sleep; and on some nights, he’s also a muffled snorer. One would never guess Childe held such human characteristics under the bloodstained mask, but he does. 

More often than not, his hand will find hers in his sleep, grasping at her fingers in a desperate manner until Lumine responds by lacing them together. A silent gesture between them, an unspoken message to the other. 

I’m not going anywhere. 

And Lumine will sit there alongside him, stroking the hair from his face for Archon knows how long, watching his bare chest rise up and down with each pull of breath he takes. The moonlight dripping into the room from the open balcony reflects smoothly against his muscles; Lumine can make out every curve and stretch of his pale skin. And every so often, she’ll hum a soft melody under her breath when his breathing becomes jaded, when the tension seizes his shoulders with an invisible hold. 

She never wakes him, knowing that he must ultimately face the demons in his nightmares - she only hopes her voice will be the light to lead him from the horrors he faces. And when his figure relaxes, a slight murmur escaping his lips, Lumine will continue humming as her fingers glide through his hair.

I’m not leaving you.

Watching him so unguarded, Lumine cannot help but take the opportunity to admire him.

He looks beautiful, the way his eyelashes fan against his cheeks and the way his tousled hair curves in his sleep. She never takes these moments for granted. Those quiet junctures in time where she no longer belongs to anyone but him. There’s no responsibilities, no pressing thoughts invading her space of mind. 

Just him, Childe. The only way she likes it. 

Tonight, however, is slightly different. Lumine is leaning against the headboard with Childe at her side. She’s drawing circles above the crook of his shoulder as her body unwinds after a long, fruitless day of searching. 

Archons, does she feel spent.

She starts to trace a path upwards along the soft skin of his ear, moving to the back of his head when suddenly - Childe’s hand reaches up, his fingers curling softly around her wrist. 

“Hello, pretty girl.”

She smiles to herself, pleasantly surprised at him being awake.

“Hello.”

“Any luck?” 

He’s referring to her brother, of course. The fact he even bothers to ask (especially months later) warms her heart. Lumine presses the pad of her thumb to his temple in response, his hand still wrapped around hers. 

“You’ll find him, don’t worry.” Childe says. 

He moves to sit up but she holds him down with her palm, grounding him in place. 

“Go back to sleep. You have to wake up early tomorrow.”

“You seem tired, Ojou-chan. I’d offer you a blanket to slip underneath, but it seems they are nowhere to be found,” He chuckles warmly. “Tsch, we don’t need them anyways as I’m warm enough for the both of us.” 

And he grabs her by the arm before she can utter a word, pulling her against his chest in one effortless motion so that her body rests above his, their legs intertwined. 

Childe’s arms encompass her, his voice filled with drowsiness as he whispers, “Go to bed, Lumine.”

She can hear his heartbeat against her cheek, can feel the taunt muscles flex as he shifts his hold around her. 

She’ll sleep, but there’s something she wants to do first.

Lumine wiggles out of his embrace, angling her head so as to reach his level. Her lips brush across his mouth softly, her hands caressing his face. 

She kisses him slowly then, a steady kiss that leaves them both sighing at the end of it. 

“Okay, now I can go to bed.” 

But Childe isn’t finished. As she’s about to settle back across his chest with every intention of sleeping, he grips her waist with both hands, pulling her upwards once more. 

Their lips meet with far more passion than the previous kiss. But no sooner has a second passed when he pulls away abruptly.  

Childe switches to his side, scooping her close into his body. 

“There, now I can go to bed.” 

She scoffs, swatting his shoulder playfully with the back of her hand. “Greedy boy.”

In spite of her original hesitancy to sleep, Lumine underestimated just how exhausted she felt and quickly finds herself losing the battle to stay awake with Childe’s uniformed breathing lulling her into a slumber. 

Lumine awakens to the sound of the harbor and sunlight pouring through the windows mercilessly. 

“Childe…” She groans, reaching a fumbling hand across the empty space of the bed, “It’s too bright.” 

In her sleep, she hadn’t felt him bundle her up in the forgotten blankets like a burrito, taking care to tuck her feet in as well. 

“...Childe?” She calls again, this time a little louder. 

He’s at her side in an instant, burying his face into her hair that sticks out from the cocoon of blankets. 

“Hmm, you smell good.” 

“Be safe, okay?” Is all she says, eyes still closed. 

He places a quick, chaste kiss above both her eyelids. 

“Of course pretty lady, see you tonight.”

Lumine savors the lingering smell of his cologne and the feel of his lips on her skin until the sound of the door closing behind him jolts her from her daydream. 

It’s early, far too early for her to be awake. She has a couple more hours of sleep before the looming day ahead forces her from bed out of sheer instinct. So much to do...

Lumine bristles internally, “Where did you hear that?” 

“Ah, you know, here and there. What kind of a Harbinger would I be if I didn’t know anything about the people who interest the Fatui?” 

“A person of interest? Is that really what I’m known as?” She asks, casting him a sideways glance. 

“Something like that. Now, what are we fighting today?” He claps his hands together giddily, like facing hordes of Hilicurls compares to a kid in a candy shop. 

“We are not doing anything, I’m tracking a bounty alone.” She makes sure to enunciate the word ‘alone.’

Childe pouts, his lip curling downwards. “C’mon, don’t be like that Ojou-Chan. I’m only trying to blow off some steam, nobody else seems to enjoy the thrill of fighting as much as you do.” 

She wouldn’t exactly call slaughtering monsters enjoyable. It’s more that her wallet always seems to be empty - along with her stomach - but she’s not about to admit that to Childe. 

“The answer is no. For all I know, this could be some form of a Fatui plot to lure me out and kill me.” How ironic, Lumine thinks to herself, coming from someone who is most likely already acting in a Fatui plot. 

“I’m hurt, Ojou-chan,” Childe’s hand hovers over his chest dramatically, “To know you think so lowly of me.” 

Suddenly, his tone no longer seems light, the grin falling from his face. 

“Do you really think I would strike you down after offering to join you on a commission? I’m not like the other Harbingers. I don’t have to lie and sneak around my enemies to gain what I need.” 

Lumine stops along the path, having already reached the last known location of the bounty. 

“How do I know you’re not lying now?” She asks, shoulders sagging from the strain of arguing with him. Why won’t he take the hint? 

He meets her gaze head-on, the lighthearted grin still missing. “Because my word means something to me, because I find facing someone in battle is more rewarding than lying. I’m not here to hurt you - you have my word as a Harbinger.” 

At that moment, Lumine can’t seem to ignore how troubled he looks over the notion of her questioning his honor. She sighs. There’s no point in arguing with him. During their conversation, they had already reached the specified location for the bounty. And if she’s being honest, she could use the help. 

“Alright, but just this once. And don’t think I won’t be watching you.” She points a small finger at him in what she hopes is a menacing look. 

Childe laughs. It’s a hearty laughter, the smile sliding back into place as he playfully swats her finger away. “I wouldn’t think anything less of you.” 

She sends him a glare but continues anyway, eyes aided by her vision as she begins to look for clues. He falls by her side, never straying too far as they search together. 

Fast forward an hour later and the valley in which they fought and killed a ruin hunter now resembles a rain swept hell. 

Of course this would happen, with the storm coming out of nowhere. 

While the weather in Liyue is normally unpredictable, the sudden onslaught of rain catches them both without warning.

“This is not a normal storm!” Lumine shouts over the sound of pounding rain. A gust of wind nearly sweeps her off her feet and she struggles to regain her footing. 

The ground underneath her feet transforms instantly, the dry vegetation caving under the downpour. All around them, the soft dirt encompassing the ruins of Dunyu begin to transform into flowing mud, with pieces of leaves and debris floating by her feet. 

It’s all happening so fast, like she blinked and the world around her transformed into something entirely different. 

Childe motions for her to follow, “C’mon! I might know of a place!”

Her feet are sinking into the ground as she yanks her boot out of the mud, struggling to follow after him. It’s moments like these that she wishes she weren’t so short. Childe easily navigates the tide of wreckage, his long legs pushing through ahead. 

They race past the stone columns where they fought the ruin hunter, but now only one remains upright. The rest lay strewn at the base of the temple, their bodies resisting the flood of water. 

“We need to climb!” Childe yells, already heaving himself up past the first fallen beam. Lumine being a few feet behind him, pushes herself to catch up. 

But the flow of mud doesn’t come up to her heels anymore. No, it’s a goddamn mudslide. Her small legs are sucked into the stream, her feet unable to lift themselves. 

Lumine is almost there, the ruined temple at a breath’s reach. She’s panting hard, her body doing everything to resist being sucked into the current. Her stamina begins to falter as she reaches with her fingertips to grasp the beam. 

She reaches as far as she can, gloved hands grazing the edge. Almost there, just a little bit more - “Shit!”

Her stamina chooses the exact moment to give and the current swallows her downstream, her body being carried like a leaf. 

Lumine can’t see anything, her vision blurred with water and debris as she flails her arms against the mudslide. She doesn’t know where it’s taking her, doesn’t know where she’s going. 

The water rises and suddenly she’s underwater, gasping and pulling to reach the surface. 

She’s going to drown, feeling her last breath of air escape her lungs as she pushes with her last pull of energy to break out. Her shoulder rams into something hard and then her heart sinks to the bottom of her stomach in a gaping sensation. She’s falling now, unable to see where she is. 

There’s nothing under her feet. 

Lumine’s arms reach out to grasp anything - anything that will prevent her from falling to her death or drowning. And then, at the last second, her hands grasp something. Her body jerks forcefully as she is no longer part of the tide, her small frame hanging dangerously in midair, a thick plant-like substance gripped in her free hand.

She’s sputtering and gasping through the sleet of water running down her face, eyes struggling to open. 

“Oh my god.” She gasps out, heart pounding in her chest. Below her lies a massive ditch. Debris mixed with dirt is flooding at an uncontrollable speed into the hollow space. She realizes the storm must have unearthed a new section of ruins, the tops of a building being buried underneath the mud as she watches with wide eyes. 

Lumine cranes her head upwards. How far did she fall? She can’t see above her. There’s nowhere for her to go except down into the water where she knows she will surely perish, no ledge or piece of land to jump to.

Her grip on the plant begins to loosen as her hand numbs from the pain of holding on. Blood drips from her arm and down into her sleeve. 

“Childe!” She screams at the top of her lungs, mouth choking with water, half heartedly hoping he might have seen her before she was swept away. But the chances of him hearing her amidst the roar of water are slim. No, the chances of him caring whether she lives or dies are slim. 

He’s probably atop one of the beams, she thinks to herself, smiling deviously from head to toe at the prospect of his enemy being wiped out by a mudslide. All too easy...right?

The blood is flowing from her hand now, her grip slacking. She’s going to die. 

Lumine shuts her eyes, pictures Aether’s smile in her mind. Something nice to think about before she joins him…

And then, right as she begins to plummet downwards, a hand hauls her up by her shoulder and away from her demise. 

Her vision blurs and the next thing she knows is that her feet are on solid ground, her face pressed into a warm body. 

“I’m sorry, Lumine. I’m so sorry.” Childe pants into her neck, one hand gripping her waist, the other wrapped around the back of her neck. “I should have made sure you were behind me.”

Her mind is static. She’s not dead. She’s not dead. She’s alive. 

Lumine hugs him - hugs him so fucking tightly as her whole body thrums with the stupefaction that he came back for her. He didn’t leave her to die. 

“I thought you’d be happy I died.” She whispers in a shaky voice, face smothered in his soaked tunic. 

“Don’t be stupid. Why would I want you dead?” He grips her harder then, like he’s afraid to lose her.

She shudders. “I think I saw death.” 

Above them, the rain continues to shower them in a downpour. All around them, the flood roars into the chasm below. 

“You’re safe now, okay? You’re not going to die, Ojou-Chan, you’re not going to die.” 

And Lumine believes him - let’s him hold her. 

“Okay.”

XXXXXXX

They walk down the hill in silence. The sky bathes their dirt stained clothing in a tauntingly warm glow. Her white dress is no longer white. There’s dirt all over her body, dirt lodged so far under her fingernails that she’s sure it will be there permanently. A few feet ahead, Childe looks in a similar disheveled state. His auburn hair, normally a tousled mess, sticks up in odd angles. He too, is covered from his boots to his neck in dirt. 

“Next time, let’s do a commission in Mondstat. I’ve heard those tend to be on the easier side.” He says, turning around to look at her. 

Lumine finds herself momentarily distracted by the bloodstained handprint on the back of his shirt, her mind whisking her back in time. 

She fell asleep in his arms. There wasn’t much to do while waiting for the water to recede to a manageable level. But much to her surprise, despite being out in the elements, her sleep was not plagued with nightmares. 

She thinks it might be the first time since losing Aether. She also thinks she felt his hand in her hair while she slept, his touch so gentle it might have all been part of a dream. A dream, not a nightmare. And his eyes - his eyes shone the brightest blue she had ever seen - a stark contrast to the brown scraped biome around them. 

“Lumine?” 

Blinking away the memories of a few hours ago, Lumine looks up into Childe’s eyes. He’s standing close to her, so close her nose is almost brushing his chest.

“Anything on your mind?” He asks, a smile on his lips. But the smile does not quite reach his eyes. Those eyes, so full of concern and life moments ago are now back to their normal guarded self. The light is gone in those blue eyes.

“The pay isn’t as good. Let’s stick to Liyue.” 

He chuckles. “Liyue it is. Better check the weather next time though.” 

Lumine’s boot makes circles into the earth. She doesn’t want to look at him anymore, wants this whole day to end. To say that he confuses her is an understatement.

 But Childe cups her chin softly, forcing her gaze to his. 

“...You’re okay, right?” 

“Yeah.” She pushes his touch away, walking down the path back to the city without another word. There’s no light in his eyes, no meaning in his question. 

Maybe it’s the mission to find Aether. Maybe it’s because she’s come so far, that at this point there’s really no going back. Or perhaps, a little voice in her head whispers, it’s him. 

The way his mouth crinkles into a sly smile when she suggests dinner, or the way her hands fit perfectly into his own. He’s never left her - not really anyways. Not when she fell asleep on the shore, and not when she kissed the banks of death. Not when the sadness threatened to engulf her - he never left. 

He’s changed her in more ways than one, opened her world to something she never dreamed she might experience. This was more than just a friendship. 

As Lumine leans heavily against her sword, her breaths coming in ragged gasps, she knows she’s fucked. She fell for him. Committed the worst possible mistake she could ever make. So why doesn’t she feel guilty? There’s no remorse in these feelings, hell she’s worn her heart on her sleeve her whole life. 

She looks up, gritting her teeth in sheer pain. Her leg is screaming at her, but she pushes it back, forces her concentration on the boy who is slowly nearing her, his spear poised. 

Lumine barely recognizes him. The red mask covers his face, hiding the only sliver of humanity he may have left. She’s reminded of the mask he wears everyday, the fake smiles and the silly attitude. His own futile attempts to hide everything about him slowly wearing away the more time he spent in her company. That was real, right?

But now, he’s completely lost. He’s not holding back, never was one to go about life half-assed. So why does she still care? He’s going to kill her. She can’t see those beautiful blue eyes behind his mask, wonders if he ever really pulled down his walls to begin with.

So, why does she care? She should fight back with the same cruel intentions as him, this battle is to the death. This battle is black and white. Duty against duty.

So why the fuck can’t she kill those feelings? 

Because giving up on someone isn’t who she is - because she loves him. She fucking loves him and she’s not about to throw away everything with him because of the opposite sides they stand on. 

At that moment, Lumine couldn’t care less if their friendship grew on lies, doesn’t care if he never really opened up to her, doesn’t give a flying fuck if he used her. She knows how she feels and that is enough. 

She stands on shaky legs, her sword against her side, vaguely aware of his taunting voice. He’s pointing at her, fist clenched with a mixture of water and electro. 

He’s going to kill her. 

Childe springs into action, his spear aimed at her neck as he launches himself with a swift thrust. She barely manages to roll to the side, feeling the blade whoosh past her scalp. Her leg is on fire, her sidestep sending her nearly toppling over from the pain. 

She doesn’t want to fight him anymore, her mind can’t seem to fathom why they began in the first place. She never had the gnosis. He steps closer, shoulders shaking with anger. He’s furious and she can’t understand why. 

Her sword falls to the floor, the sound echoing through the room with a loud clang. 

She doesn’t want to fight him anymore, never did in the first place. 

“If you think I’m going to let you leave here alive, you’re mistaken. Should’ve realized who I was before you stepped in to stop me. I’m a Fatui, always have been, always will be.”

Childe paces around her quivering stance like a lion stalking his prey. There is no light in his voice, only darkness. 

“C’mon, fight me Lumine. Fight me like you fucking mean it!” He shouts, spear slamming down into the ground. 

“Childe…” 

She knows what she has to do, she only hopes she has enough strength to see it through, hopes he doesn’t stick her through like a stuck pig. 

With her heart hammering in her throat, Lumine runs at him, hand charged with the last anemo strength she can muster. Her blast of wind doesn’t surprise him, he catches it easily with the ball of his foot, his body only slightly off balance.

She can practically feel his sneer underneath the mask - but she doesn’t care - this was all part of the plan. 

Lumine launches her tiny frame into his body, catching him entirely off guard, one hand coming to grab the space between his back, the other grasping the side of his face to tear the mask off. She wants to see him, wants to feel his face against hers. 

She kisses him then, their lips colliding like stars falling into the earth - like waves crashing against the shore. He makes a startled grunt into her mouth, his own weapon falling to the floor. 

He tastes like salt and blood, his lips impossibly soft against hers. At first, it’s only her mouth moving against him, his body stiff like stone. And then, as she’s expecting him to kill her - to hurt her - his hands come up around her frame to pull her closer. 

Not an ounce of roughness is left in his touch as he caresses her shoulders. 

It feels like time has come to a standstill, the world around them frozen. What she thought was impossible no longer seems so far out of reach. 

He kisses her back. His mouth opening to hers as he clutches her like he’s drowning, the stiffness in his body seemingly melting away. Lumine isn’t sure how long they stay like that, with her sitting practically on top of him, her small hands grasping his face as their lips nip and pull, tasting the waters of one another. His gloved hand is in her hair, pushing back the sweat soaked strands. 

At last, when breathing becomes a necessity, they pull apart. She leans her forehead against his with no intention of letting go. “You don’t have to do this alone, Childe,” She whispers gently into his ear, “I can’t give up on you and I won’t.” 

They’re both breathing hard, and she’s sure that she’s bleeding all over him as she pulls him into a tight embrace. It’s not fair, how perfect their bodies seem to mesh together. It’s not fair at all, how kissing him is the easiest thing she’s done in her whole life. 

“I can’t leave you.” She sobs into the crook of his shoulder, the tremors racking through her core. Wait, when did she start crying? 

Childe sits up, placing her firmly against his chest, her slim legs wrapping around him like a starfish. “Don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” He says, engulfing her with a fierce hug. His hands around her waist burn more than all the wounds he’s inflicted on her. 

If she’s being honest, she doesn’t know why she’s crying, doesn’t know how to close up the floodgates of her heart. She’s sobbing uncontrollably, eyes screwed shut as the tears flow. 

“I don’t want to fight you. I don’t want to fucking fight you anymore.” She gasps, struggling to speak through the pain of it all. 

Childe’s heart is breaking. He can feel his chest tightening in such discomfort that he’s not sure what to do. This girl has shown him nothing but kindness, nothing but honest, genuine kindness. She’s poured out her heart to him in more ways than one, seen through his betrayal and lies and still refused to leave. 

The little voice in the back of his head, yelling at him throughout his flirtatious charades, knows that their friendship has blossomed into something more. His heart is tearing and as he desperately tries to hold himself back - hold the part of him that screams to let her in - he knows now he simply cannot fight it any longer. 

Childe knows he’s fucked. He was fucked the moment she appeared with those bright gold eyes and beautiful smile that she only cared to share with him. 

What gives him the right to throw her away like a piece of trash? 

None. He has no right. 

He shushes her quietly, arms grasping the sides of her tear sooted face, his hands smearing the salt and blood away. “I won’t fight you anymore, Ojouchan. I won’t fight it anymore.”