ONLY THE LONELY
Lonely the days
They grow darker
Flow by
I am only the lonely
The darkness unfolds me
And folds me and holds me
A stifling embrace
How lonely am I
Will I ever be saved?
Sade Olutola
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@solivigantbeing
ONLY THE LONELY
Lonely the days
They grow darker
Flow by
I am only the lonely
The darkness unfolds me
And folds me and holds me
A stifling embrace
How lonely am I
Will I ever be saved?

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THE HUNGER
You tell me I'm the problem
Tell I am not worth saving
Like the problem's not your problem
Nor the monster you've created
All the words became a mantra
All your anger I absorbed
My silence is my armor
My indifference my sword
If I cry you call it weakness
If I scream I am insane
Mind games keep the fire burning
Make reality my chain
Gave me plastic empty safety
That my trauma has embraced
Even if love is a prison
It is everything I crave
IDENTITY
Yesterday became the end
A few words pierced my heart
It seems that everything I am
Was nothing from the start
My trauma took the stage one day
And that's what I became
The fear of fear absorbed my soul
Now trauma is my name
MANTRA
Please don't hurt me
Please don't leave me
Hold my hand
Please help me breathing
Please don't argue
Please stop screaming
Please don't stop my heart from beating
I'll be better
Please don't break me
Please provide me plastic safety
I need structure
Please don't take it
If you don't love me
Please just fake it
TOXIC
You mess with my feelings
And claim that it's love
Then tell me you do it so I will wake up
I am awake, I still haven't slept
I constantly replay your words in my head
I know I am broken
I know I'm fucked up
I just need some safety and someone to trust
So I will hold on and beg you to stay
And we remain broken in our own way

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FLOOD
I am drowning us both
Our love became a show
I can drown on my own
Touch the shore and let go
Every aim to survive
Is a reason to die
If I'm drowning your light
Let me go
I'll survive
GUILT TRIP
I can hold my own hand
And withstand a million storms
I can sing myself a lie
The greatest story ever told
LIT
They don't see the screaming
They don't see the liar
Who keeps throwing wood in a house that's on fire
The flames they get higher
The tenant is dying
But still you convince them she's not even trying
The water won't save her
The walls will collapse
The fire has spread to the walls in her head
She drops to the floor
And finally gives in
You got what you wanted
You got to win
FRAGILE
And just as expected
You hurt me again
Your words are like bullets
My armor can't stand
BLINDED BY THE LOVE
I could hold your hand forever
And still know that it was wrong
I can lie myself a future
For a second I belong
Is it ignorant to hold on
If the love's already gone
If it's burried in the rubble
Of the person I've become

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HELL
Everytime that I read and I see
I can't breathe, can't believe
I can't breathe
In this world that is not designed for me
I can't breathe
Everytime that I try it's a lie
I can't breathe
In this world that feels like hell to me
It is not that I want to die
I can't live
THE PROMISE
You need me to change
Step away from my old ways
Be more present in the day
But I can't step out the frame
I'm surrounded by these walls
They protect me when I fall
And unlike you they don't promise
Golden skies
At least they're honest
You need me to change
If I still want you to stay
Ultimatums become chains
So we go our separate ways
FOOL
Scattered pieces in the hands of the people
That claim love is the reason that they circle in circles
Round a heart that feels shattered and a brain that feels broken
But just like for me they're unable to hold them
They will scatter the shatter
And down on my knees
I reclaim the small pieces of an incomplete puzzle
Like a thief who steals objects that are already stolen
It's an empty attempt but the gesture feels wholesome
THE PARASITE 2
Trauma will not leave side
It has too many places to hide
Trauma feeds on my tears
And it echoes my fears
It consumes me with all of its might
HOAX
Gather your audience
Let your lies be transformed to your truth
Make them believe
Turn your war into peace
Let them convert your evil to good

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01-2026
Today you left without a reason
I guess love passes like a season
THE PARASITE
Trauma hides inside my veins
Has a permanent room in my brain
It will only appear
When new trauma is here
It enjoys the fresh walls it creates