🌸

"I don’t want to fall in love anymore, I feel like I’m constantly repeating myself; telling people my favorite songs, showing them my favorite movies and TV shows, my favorite colour, places I like to visit, just everything. And I’m tired of repeating myself, I don’t have the energy anymore. I want someone who already knows that a particular song is my favorite because it makes me cry happy tears, I want someone who knows that this movie is my favorite, because one of my earliest memories was watching it as a kid, when we were still a family. I don’t want to give people parts of me only for them to become a stranger again, It’s not fair. I’m tired."

Can you see this pain in my eyes?

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/if-you-forget-me-by-pablo-neruda

“The hopeless dream of being - not seeming, but being. At every waking moment, alert. The gulf between what you are with others and what you are alone. The vertigo and the constant hunger to be exposed, to be seen through, perhaps even wiped out. Every inflection and every gesture a lie, every smile a grimace. Suicide? No, too vulgar. But you can refuse to move, refuse to talk, so that you don't have to lie. You can shut yourself in. Then you needn't play any parts or make wrong gestures. Or so you thought. But reality is diabolical.”

I'm losing my mind again. Again...

I meet you. I remember you. Who are you? You’re destroying me. You’re good for me. How could I know this city was tailor-made for love? How could I know you fit my body like a glove? I like you. How unlikely. I like you. How slow all of a sudden. How sweet. You cannot know. You’re destroying me. You’re good for me. You’re destroying me. You’re good for me. I have time. Please, devour me. Deform me to the point of ugliness. Why not you? Why not you in this city and in this night, so like other cities and other nights you can hardly tell the difference? I beg of you.

I acted, so to speak, with pride - i spoke almost silently. And i'm master of speaking silently - all my life i've spoken silently and i've lived through entire tragedies in silence. Oh, and i too have been unhappy! I one, no one knows it! I was cast aside by everyone, cast aside and forgotten, and no one, no one knows.