Discreet Soldier

Wow what a year. Lots of highs and lots of lows. Despite all the chaos im really appreciative of so many things.

At the beginning of the year my grandfather, who raised me was in a hospital with an unknown future. Today he is home and back to normal.

I bought a brand new car and I still love it.

In April I helped establish and run one of the busiest COVID field hospitals in the United States. My work led to a promotion and a significant raise.

I started a new role and have learned and developed so much from it.

I welcomed a new niece and have been overjoyed with watching her develop and grow

I started 3d printing which has been very fun and an artistic outlet i really enjoy.

I bought a house with my bestfriend and partner and because there is nowhere to go we are making it our dream home faster than expected.

2020 sucked. But it was a good year for me. I wish it was different, but I dont want to dwell on the negative. I hope 2021 is a much better year for everyone.

I love everyone who still sees these blog posts and I wish you all the best in the coming year.

Switched it because my last one sounded like I was combating rainbows.

Things are very well in my world right now. Life got really bad at the end of 2019 and into the new year.

Covid brought opportunity for me though. I was challenged at work and got a promotion out of it. I've gotten to spend more time with my family.

And the most exciting part is my partner and I BOUGHT A HOUSE!

I'm currently working as part of the command team at one of the biggest field hospitals fighting against COVID-19.

One day at a time. We will get through this.

I've been very busy these last few months. Honestly not all good things.

Last summer I got kicked off twitter (forgot my login)

So now that I have downtime while self isolating... follow my new twitter - @combat_rainbows

Follow for follow if you mention you follow me here.

Shortly after my grandmother died my grandfather went down hill fast. He ended up in the ICU only a few rooms away from where my grandmother spent some of her last days.

He started to look like he was getting better. He came off of life support and we had conversations with him.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from the hospital. He went into cardiac arrest and he wasn't responding to CPR. I rushed to the hospital and I'm very thankful that they were able to get a pulse.

He was transferred into the city to one of the best hospitals in the world for cardiovascular issues. The plan is for him to have surgery soon.

I've been here all night. I cant lose him.

I'm not much for prayers, but they certainly dont hurt. So if you're inclined please send them my way.

Thank you everyone for your messages and kind words.

I've never had so much on my plate at one time.

Today I chose to drink. Because I thought may it would relieve some of my pain. Now I'm drunk and still feeling everything

My mother is dying. It's been a long fucking week but that is the gyst of it. The woman that raised me is not capable of supporting herself for much longer.

I'm trying to stay busy and positive but this fucking sucks. This is the absolute worst. Work has kept me away from home since July and and work will keep me away from home tile the end of october and during all of this my family is literally dealing with the absolute worst scenario.

I cant Express how vital my "nana" is. She has had legal custody of me since I was 6 months old. She raised me, my siblings, my mother, my aunt and uncle as well as countless other kids who needed a home. Right now, a girl I went to high school with (well over ten years ago) and her two daughters live with my grandmother and call her nana because she saw they needed help, and then she fell in love with them. We all did.

I'm losing her. I dont cry very often. The last time I cried was when I hugged her goodbye as I went back to Afghanistan. It feels close to that. She has always been there to hug me. Tell me everything was going to work out and most importantly to say I love you.

I've never lost someone this close before.

I'm hurting.

22 a day is very real.

Ive known about this trip for almost a year but decided to keep it quiet until now. Army calls and i always answer. This is going to be a shorter trip than in the past so thats good. If im quiet, you know why. Take care friends.

Follow my twitter for updates

#futureHusband

#provincetown #ptown

I'll be there! Will you?

Go over to my Twitter, @yankeemisoldier and check out my request for help. Looking for ideas and input.

My brother just called and said he wanted to ask me something.

He then asked me not to tell anyone about our conversation

He asked me when I knew I was gay. And then he got really uncomfortable and stopped the conversation.

Hes always been supportive of me.