Solas · Fen'Harel · RP Blog

But when he’d kissed her. A kiss that had perhaps changed the course of her life in a way that she didn’t realize just yet, but knew was significant. And it had been more than worth the wait.

Now, they were alone. Davhal had been safely returned to the pendant around her neck and Cole had disappeared, most likely having returned to Skyhold to help someone else who needed them. For the first time since they left Skyhold, they had no duties or responsibilities. It was just them.

She’d spent a majority of that alone time together making up for the time that she’d wanted to have with him. She’d kissed his lips almost a hundred times, tracing her fingers over his face to memorize his skin.

Despite the chaos that their camp was left in, Solas’ tent completely incinerated, the horses panicked, Elliana felt nothing but giddiness. Nothing could have dampened her spirit in that moment.

Though, there has been more than one time that she’d accidentally grazed her fingers over his burned back when she’d been exploring him during their kisses. Figuring the least she could do was offer him some kind of help with it, she pulled back from their most recent kiss with a smile.

“Vhenan,” Elliana murmured softly, her hands resting against Solas’ chest, “as much as I’d like to kiss you uninterrupted for days, I think we should take a look at your back.” She said, cautiously peeking around him to look at his back and hissing through her teeth at what she saw.

“Come on, I have some supplies in my tent.” Her fingers had never left him since he’d kissed her that first time. They’d been touching his face, his chest, his hands, anywhere she could reach him. Because he’d been right, feeling him in the waking world was so much more physically grounding and intense. She loved every second of it.

“Thank goodness Davhal misses my tent.” She chuckled, though the adrenaline of his fury had finally begun to leave her body. She was left more cold, more drained, but still riding on the high of their confession.

She helped him inside, kneeling by the side she produced a pack of supplies and began to look through it, casting a small smile at him over her shoulder in the shadows.

“You’re the better healer between the two of us, but I will do what I can.” She had a small salve she could use to cover his burns, and moved to sit behind him.

“Will you..will you remove your shirt?”

He chuckled slightly when Elliana eventually broke off the kiss to tend to him at last. Still, he made sure that his hands never left her body, always touching either her hand, her fingers, her waist, or just the small of her back.

"I do have to see if at least one of my books has survived at some point, but... it is late."

Slipping inside the tent, Solas took one of her spare water bottles to have a drink. Then, he sat down.

Her shy request for him to remove his shirt promptly made him blush like a fool. Solas had conveniently forgotten that it was necessary to let her get a proper look at the wound. Plus, he was pretty sure that some of the wool got burnt right into his skin as well, which needed to be taken care of better sooner than later.

Rather than removing his tunic right away, Solas decided to ramble instead. Or he didn't decide on it, and it just happened.

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.

“Solas..” she couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say that might soothe him. Truly, what could she say to him like this? He was mourning the loss of his father, realizing that all he had ever known was wrong. She moved to knee before him, stroking his back and along his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.

She didn’t say anything for several long moments, instead focusing on being there for him, holding him through all of it, being kind and warm and gentle, that sunshine she had inside her doing her best warm him. She didn’t know what to do or say, perhaps there wasn’t anything she could.

“Your..your memories are intertwined with Davhal’s..” it was all she could offer. “Perhaps at the time you thought you were doing the right thing..”

"And after all this, you are still... here... with me..." he croaked, his voice hoarse from having screamed his life out before.

He kept his eyes closed. With how red and swollen they were now, there was no point in trying to see the world around him. He could feel that Elliana was right there, holding him, warming him, keeping him sane with the softness of her voice.

That was more than he deserved. More than he could have asked.

"I realize that there are many things that require an explanation," he whispered softly, "... and you deserve to hear them all." Solas leaned back and just gazed at her for a while. He unintentionally smudged some dirt onto her face as he cupped her cheek and immediately tried to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then, he took her hands and pulled Elliana up with him when he got up again, although he still needed to steady himself on the statue for a moment.

He seemed to have dissociated from his body to make the pain more bearable. His face was tired, bleak, exhausted, void of life.

She blinked once when he said so softly that she was there with him. Her gaze softened and without thinking about it, she too brushed her fingers across his face in a gesture of tenderness.

“There is no one where in all of Thedas that I would rather be,” and she left it at that. Because truly, there wasn’t.

When he brushed his fingers over her face, she leaned more fully into him, looking up at him with that expression of devotion.

When he stood, pulling her with him, she nodded after a moment and simply held his hands. That curious nature of hers was desperate to know more about what she’d seen, but one step at a time. She wasn’t going to push.

“Let’s go,” she agreed, keeping her hands in his to steady him a bit as they started the short walk back to camp. She was grateful it was nearby, she planned to get Solas into a chair by the fire so he could process everything.

There would be a lot of time to cry. A lot of time for him to mourn. She intended to stay with him through it. It took less than five minutes to walk to camp, and once they were there, she made a point to help him sit in one of the nearby chairs by the fireplace.

"Forgive me, I... I am trying to process..." he whispered.

"All this time, I carried Davhal's memories as though they were my own. And I still do... They are all still there. I didn't just kill him, I... I took his life and lived it. And Earl, and Greta..."

Solas took a very deep breath to contain another wave of cruel emotions.

“There is nothing to forgive. Take your time. If it’s an hour or a month, you need to feel this fully. To understand it all.” It was the only way; through. No matter how overwhelmed he was.

“Solas, I don’t know all that has happened in your past.” It was obvious he was keeping things hidden from her, so she didn’t know who he was before…now. “But I know who you are now. You lived with those memories because you genuinely believed they were your own. You didn’t lie, you didn’t deceive, you truly believe them.”

She was saddened to hear there was more he was keeping from her, but, for now it wasn’t her place to push him about it.

"Thank you..." he whispered and breathed again to brace himself.

He had no idea where the hell to start.

"... It is true that the Merritts lived hundreds of years ago."

Solas paused and swallowed. His heart ached with how difficult this was going to be.

"And it is also true that I was in contact with Earl and Davhal through their dreams at the time. Until today, I... I believed that I was left on their doorstep fourty-two years ago. And it made sense because I was sure that I was... reborn."

Solas breathed, swallowed once more, and finally raised his face to look at her. His grey eyes turned violet again as they met with hers - deep, and true, and honest.

"But I was not reborn. I was always me... for a long, long time. I laid in dark and dreaming sleep as countless wars and ages passed. My Uthenera began as the great empire of the elves collapsed... And it ended merely a year before we met."

His chest quivered with both relief and despair as he said it out loud, and his purple eyes welled up with tears again.

She forced her racing, fluttering heart to quiet so she could be of best comfort to him. This was not about her, it was about him.

When he lifted his gaze to hers again and she saw those gorgeous, striking purple eyes, she had to bite back a squeak of surprise. She remembered what had happened the last time she’d seen those eyes, and her heart had been broken. So she stayed quiet and merely listened to him.

Though, when the reality and the gravity of what he was saying his her, her expression went blank. As if she’d fallen into one of the frozen ponds her clan would camp beside, leaving her shocked and still.

Hearing Solas say he was an Ancient…it..somehow made sense. Because of all he knew, because of his wisdom and his gifts. And yet..Elliana found it so hard to believe at the same time.

“H-how? You…you were asleep? What…why were you..?” She could barely form the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb all he’d said. Though, despite her shock, she never pulled away from him, her hands stayed gripping his own.

The fact that she never once let go of his hands strengthened his soul and helped him recover from the initial despair. It was hard to tell the truth, but that was the very thing he was made for. In reality, Solas had been more scared of her reaction than anything else.

But Elliana was not upset, or angry, or punishing him for disappointing any expectations. She still held him, and listened. The relief was nothing short of liberating.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little in the end.

"I assure you, I don't know everything," he said softly.

"I witnessed mere echoes of history in the Fade. I learned the languages as they developed, how magic changed through the ages, how the elves were enslaved and are now still suppressed all over Thedas... I woke up alone, deep within Arlathan Forest."

He looked at her again, a deep frown carving valleys into his forehead.

“Appalled? No.” She regained enough composure to very gently squeeze his hands with her own. Another soothing and gentle gesture. “But..amazed? Confused? A little concerned for your well-being, absolutely.” She offered a crooked smile.

“But…you were alone. Lost in time. I…you must have been frightened.” She couldn’t imagine having your entire world turned upside down like that and waking in a different time.

“No wonder you think Sera is annoying. Though in truth, she can be a little much..” she admitted softly. But, it made sense suddenly. So many little things about Solas that she’d observed for so long, now she saw it for what it was.

“So…if you’re an Ancient…what does that make you now, Solas? You…must have felt so alone when you woke.” She lifted one hand to cradle the wide or his face. On top of thinking he’d been reborn, to lose the thought of Earl and his past and now realizing he’d slept for a millennia…

"I was frightened, I admit. It took a whole day until I remembered. Until then, I wandered through Arlathan like a lost lion cub."

The mention of Sera got another gentle smile out of him.

"Sera is... the result of what had happened to the elves, among other things. Of course, she frustrates me. As does Varric. They are both the farthest from their heritage as they could possibly be, but given their histories, I should be more patient. They should not have to deal with my... adjustment issues. Unless Sera fills my bedroll with lizards again. That was... uncomfortable."

Solas did not like thinking back on that night. He had woken up the entire camp by screaming his lungs out, cursing elven profanities, and throwing these poor lizards around in a desperate attempt to get rid of them.

Not that he minded lizards at all. But feeling not only one, but several little things squirming somewhere inside his bedroll was... quite unsettling.

The memory slid out of his head once he felt the warmth of Elliana's hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Elvhenan fell about four millennia ago. The elves lived slowly, never truly paying attention to how time passed. I am not sure what exactly that makes me... Although, what I do know is this: The majority of my life was spent in Uthenera."

Opening his eyes again, Solas looked into hers.

“I won’t let that happen again.” She grumbled, still somewhat frustrated by the way that she had done that, and had proceeded to prank others in their group as well. Sera was…unique to say the least.

When Solas leaned into her hand, she cupped him further and just savored the feeling of his warm, his smile, anything that made him feel just a little bit more..normal, after everything that he had been through.

“What…is Uthenera?” The word was somehow unfamiliar to her, even though she’d made it a point to try and know her culture and history as much as the Dalish possibly could. Again, the idea that there was so much between them..years..she wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Someone so young, so new.

Filling in the blanks was healing for him, in a way, even though Solas knew that he would have to pick up the topic of the Merritts again. After coming with him all this way to find the truth, and staying with him through it, he wanted to be as honest to her as he could be.

He not only owed it to her as the Inquisitor, but as her friend.

Solas nodded, and continued.

"About twenty years before the Fourth Blight began, I sensed traces of very ancient elven magic in the Fade. When I followed it, I found a prophecy. 'The Huntress shall awake and give birth into the waking with fire and taint.' Hundreds of years ago, the Dalish of Northern Thedas focused a lot of their research on prophecies like these, writing interpretations and painting murals. Over the generations, they formed the belief that Andruil, the Huntress, would be reborn, and this child would be marked by 'fire and taint'."

"And then, some day during the Black Age, a Dalish clan gave birth to a little boy: He had a large, fiery birthmark across the right side of his face, and the eye on that same side was entirely blackened. The rest of his body had patches of malpigmentation. Fire and taint. His healthy eye was violet, which was believed to inherit the spirit of an ancient elf... That was Davhal. They immediately connected him with the prophecy. And since birthmarks are rarely associated with luck and good fortune, they abandoned the boy in a cave to die."

He paused to take a deep breath.

It suddenly hit her harder that Solas was not mortal. He was an immortal ancient, having lived eons, many lives, and had only now just rejoined. She felt so…so insignificant compared to him. No wonder he’d seemed so uncertain and guarded when they’d first met. He’d woken in an alien world. The elves who were here now were not his people.

She lowered her hand from his face to his heart. A heart that had lived and loved so much longer than her.

“Mythal enaste…” she whispered. “This heart…has beat through time.”

She listened as he spoke of the prophecy, of Davhal, of the Dalish. She knew her people were superstitious, even brutal, but hearing that Davhal’s mother had risked and lost her life defending him..she shook her head and sighed.

“His poor mother.” She shook her head again. “Earl was even more rare than I realized, if he lived through the Black Age. The humans were..so cruel.” She often liked to give the benefit of the doubt but even she knew the brutality of it all back then.

Still, there was hesitation in it. Never had he needed her touch more than tonight, but it was too easy to lose himself in her like that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him for eternity. Slowly, he lowered their hands from his chest, but he kept their fingers intwined.

"From what I was able to sense, yes. Long before the gods disappeared, Andruil left a piece of her essence wandering the waking world. Over the centuries, this essence was too weak to plant itself within the life of another. I don't want to claim that a mere birthmark is an indicator of doom, however... Davhal was a Dreamer, like me. Perhaps, his closer connection to the Fade made it possible for Andruil's essence to manifest within him."

Solas looked down upon their joined hands, continuously caressing her fingers with his thumb. Gods, how good it felt to have her this close in spite of all the reasons not to let that happen...

"I found Earl's dreams in an attempt to offer my assistance. He needed to know that this child had the potential of causing significant damage to the world... You see, prophecies were never meant to be taken as promises. If anything, they were warnings. I theorized that if Davhal were to be raised with the amount of love he really needed, any influence coming from Andruil's essence would weaken. If the warning of the prophecy was serious, we could have stopped it from coming to pass by guiding him in the right direction. If the prophecy was simply misinterpreted or untrue, an abandoned boy would simply have a family. In my mind, there was no harm in that... and Earl agreed eventually."

"It was truly fate that Davhal's mother chose their house. I assume you know what would have happened to him, had he been left a few houses down the street..."

Solas touched the scar on his forehead as it tingled softly. It had already fully healed ever since it tore open the other night, and he let out a deep sigh thinking of how this scar really came to be.

"As you can imagine, growing up as a lone elf in a human village was hard. He was very alone. Even though Earl gave him love, guidance, and acceptance, Davhal had a very difficult time as a boy. The violence he was faced with was... despicable. No amount of love could make that better, but I still had hope. Davhal grew older, stronger, and eventually became a rebellious teenager."

He smiled a little at that notion, but it vanished.

"If only it was as consequential as with any other boy his age... Andruil's essence was strengthened by his struggles. Earl begged me to help because he was starting to lose faith, thus I started to visit the boy in his dreams, and for a while, it seemed that my guidance helped him feel better. I showed him how to control his magic, what a Dreamer was able to do and how much wisdom it offered. He was, truly, a remarkable young man. He was kind to others despite the hatred that came his way. He grew into the philosopher that Earl always was, so bright and full of hope. Unfortunately, even my guidance was not enough. Or, perhaps, my presence in his dreams even caused what came next."

Solas sighed heavily and paused for a moment.

So when his fingers intertwined with hers and he lowered their hands but kept up the constant soothing touch, she did her best to focus on his face, on his words. And she did— Davhal’s story and all Solas had learned was fascinating and tragic. Her curiosity fluttered, growing stronger with every word he said.

But, that didn’t stop her from leaning in just slightly, so their foreheads were touching once again, while her thumb brushed against the pulse point of his wrist, savoring his closeness.

“It sounds like…Dahval did learn. From Earl, from you. Was..Davhal’s outburst of anger and Blight…was it fully intentional?” She wondered if, as a teenager, he’d simply lost control of his power and accidentally hurt Greta.

“You did your best, Lethallin. You wanted to help, to give him a chance after all his mother had sacrificed and all that you knew. I don’t think you can blame yourself for what happened with Greta and Dahval.” She said sincerely, squeezing his hand and letter her index finger trace the inside of his wrist.

“I think…I think that even if it was not what you expected, you still learned and you felt and you grew. Humans will never be entirely cruel again, because you knew Earl. Even if it was through dreams. You saw true love and kindness.”

She was quiet for a moment. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask a million questions, but she wondered if it would be too much after what he’d seen. To try and make him smile, perhaps ease some of his pain, she offered that radiant, glowing smile of hers and met his gaze.

Her innocence. Her happiness.

He sighed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that Elliana knew what she was getting herself into.

"His outburst, maybe. To have Andruil's spark blight her? I highly doubt that. There was definite resentment between them for a number of reasons, some more justified than others. But Davhal was shocked when it happened and he tried to help her before Earl shut him out completely. Davhal lost himself in a very dark place and not even I could help him out of it. Regret is a very haunting feeling... I realized that Andruil's essence manifested further, growing, strengthening... Earl and I were powerless to stop it."

"After Greta passed, Davhal ran away a couple of times. He would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, straying away from his purpose. He even learned how to block my view from him through the Veil, which wasn't too difficult, considering how weakened I was from my involuntary slumber... But I knew that if Andruil's essence took over, it could be the beginning of another Blight. It had to be stopped. He... had to be stopped."

"I waited for the next time he would come home. It took years for me to gather enough of my power... I visited Earl's dream after years of no contact and tried to tell him that there was nothing left that we could do. I wanted to give him a chance to have a say in his fate. In the memories, you have heard me offer to make Davhal Tranquil instead, so Earl would keep his son... He would have none of it, but I cannot possibly blame him. That I even considered it... disgusts me..."

He took a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her hand in his. Solas could feel his emotions rising up again.

"I wanted so desperately to help him grow, to stop Andruil's Blight. but it was all for naught... I knew Earl would do anything in his power to stop me from hurting him... And so I realized I had to kill them both through their dreams. But it did not work in the world's favour... Just a year after their deaths, the Fourth Blight broke out regardless of our efforts. All this pain, this suffering... It was for nothing. Killing them was the last thing I ever did before I awoke. My slumber was completely void of dreams because I used all my remaining power. Perhaps, too much of it was wasted when I ended Earl's life, first. Perhaps, murdering Davhal only set the Blight free in the first place. Perhaps, I couldn't kill him at all..."

His eyes watered again and Solas made a point to swallow them back down immediately. He did not deserve to feel this way after all that he had done, and the shame of it threatened to devour him whole. His knee began rocking up and down due to his nerves catching fire, but he didn't notice.

"You shouldn't be so kind to me, my love..."

Solas kissed her hands softly, over and over, almost losing himself in it.

She listened in silence as he continued his story. Even though their foreheads were touching, she made a point to try to meet his gaze, so that he knew she was listening, and that she wasn’t afraid of what she was hearing. Being honest like this, bearing his soul in a way, she knew he needed to feel safe to do so.

“Solas…you couldn’t have known for certain what was happening. You…may be ancient. And wise. But that doesn’t mean that you can foresee every outcome. You tried. You tried to help Dahval find his way. You tried to help Earl guide him. There is..only so much one person can do.”

“Perhaps..this is a lesson. A lesson to remember that as much as you want to change things, there is a limit to what we can do. You tried, Solas. You wanted to help. And now…now you must learn from what happened. And I think you have.” She gave him an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

As Solas began to stew in his regret, letting his emotions overtake him as he thought of killing Earl and Dahval, she didn’t think, she simply brought herself closer to him so she could try to comfort him.

“Solas—“ she started to say, intent on finding something that might bring him some comfort or ease his pain, only to freeze.

He…he’d called her his love.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Her heart leapt for joy in her chest, but there was still a cautious part of her, a part of her that thought she was too young, too different from him, that he’d pull away from her again.

And yet…

“And yet, I’m still here.” Emotion rose in her throat, making her own eyes tear up just a little bit. She watched as he kissed her skin, leaving her shivering with delight.

As she did when they’d dreamed together in the Fade, she tilted his chin very gently so he would face her, look into her eyes, perhaps see all the love that had been there for so long. Just for him.

Solas wanted nothing more than to believe her.

That there was a limit to what one person could do.

That he could learn from this and move on.

But his regrets felt so... impossible to overcome. He had the power to change things. He had the means to achieve what must be achieved. And yet, he failed, over and over and over again. The consequences of his failures were too great to make undone or move on from. His wisdom was not enough. He was not enough. Mythal had taught him that.

And so, Solas would try anew, instead.

With Davhal, he failed to keep him from the Blight's grasp, so he provoked his rebirth to have a clean slate for the next attempt – until it was enough to save the world, and Davhal's reborn soul, from Andruil.

As with a failed stroke of his brush on his paintings, Solas would cover up the mistake, try again, and perfect it – until it was good enough.

Solas shook his head faintly, the deepest of sighs escaping his body. This pain, this familiar agony, was almost blissful to drown in. The evidence that he was good enough in Elliana's eyes in spite of the mistakes she knew about...

It was refreshing, and healing, but also scary, and haunting.

To break free from his past, move on from his mistakes, and just have her?

Could she be his last chance to try everything anew? Could she be his clean slate?

When her voice broke, Solas stopped kissing her hands but kept them close within his own, and looked at her with a deep frown. His eyes filled with sadness over causing this wave of sorrow for her as one of his hands broke free to cup her cheek.

"Don't cry..." he whispered softly. His hand wandered down to her neck before Solas leaned in to plant the softest of kisses on her now vacant cheek. He made it last, feeling it impossible to keep his lips away from her warmth. His lungs quivered with delight and comfort, his heart feeling heavy and light in his chest as it raced.

That was when the horses started grumbling and growling, tugging at their ties and kicking the air.

Solas promptly removed his lips from Elliana's cheek and stared at them as he held his breath. As much as he hated this disturbance... he knew that only the foolish choose to ignore it when their horses get nervous out of nowhere.

"Something's wrong. We are not alone," he whispered and glanced around. His eyes fixed on something behind Elliana, right next to the fire.

He froze, immediately.

"H-How..."

Regrettably, he got up from his chair and approached the fire, picking up whatever he had spotted next to it.

It was a bouquet of violet and yellow flowers – cornflowers and primroses, just like the ones on Earl's grave – tied together by the very leather strap of Solas' necklace. The bone of the wolf's jaw was broken in half.

"That was not here before. I left the pendant with the statue! How did it--"

He heard it before he saw it, but he saw it in time.

Solas lunged forward and grasped Elliana's hand to drag her away with force, almost yanking her arm out in the process; He pulled her in front of him to shield her when a blazing fire crashed right through his tent and grazed his back, letting him cry out in pain. The campfire reacted with an outburst of energy powerful enough to send them to the dirty ground.

His entire body laid atop hers like layers of armor, her head deeply hidden within his protective embrace. Solas' tent caught fire within two heartbeats and burned like Andraste's pyre. The horses went crazy, trying desperately to free themselves from their ties.

Once Solas was certain that they were safe, he pulled back slightly and stared down at Elliana with terror in his eyes. The pain on his back was completely forgotten at the sight of her.

She loved him. Just as he was. She loved him as just Solas. She loved him as an ancient. And she loved him even if his actions and choices hadn’t been the right solution. She didn’t need perfection…she wanted him.

This was his choice now. She had laid everything she could out on the table for himself and she could also tell that at some point, someone or something had made Solas believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be perfect, that things had to align in some unattainable way…

Perhaps it was because he was an Ancient. Immortal, potentially. Maybe he had shaped worlds and lives for so long he didn’t know how to let go and live his own. More than likely, his regret was festering and burning him. And he wasn’t ready to let it go.

And if he couldn’t let it go, then he would never choose her.

Somehow that made it so much harder for Elliana, the more she thought about it. Tears sprang to her eyes when he told her not to cry, an automatic reaction. She didn’t speak, simply stayed silent as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And by the gods, just a kiss on her cheek and his hand on the back of her neck…it was enough to set her soul aflame.

That was, until he suddenly pulled back. She too heard the horses begin to grow restless, and as someone who has grown up being attuned to nature it made her instantly pay attention to their surroundings.

When she saw the flowers, her eyes narrowed and she frowned in confusion.

“That doesn’t make sense. We saw that in those memories it was you who were manipulating things..and if you didn’t do that-“ she started to ask who would be following them now, when it all happened so quickly.

It was not the first time she’d survived an explosion since she want to the Chantry, but it certainly wasn’t easier. The wind had been knocked out of her when Solas had tackled her to the ground. She was gasping to suck air back into her lungs, her eyes a bit foggy with the force of them hitting the ground, but for the most part, she was fine.

“Solas!” She didn’t even have time to answer his question, she reached for his back in a panic. “Vhenan!” She tried to wiggle out from under him so she could see any damage the fire might have caused.

"I'm okay!" he forced out, relieved that she seemed to be uninjured. Solas allowed her to get out from under him, although he made sure to keep her close. He cupped her cheek to make her focus on him.

"Go free the horses, quickly! They will return once everything is safe. Then get your weapon. I'll handle this!"

He forced himself up, feeling the heat of the fire reach for his face. With a swift but strong movement of his arm, a shockwave of winter threw itself onto the tent and extinguished the fire. Solas wasted no time and rummaged through the burnt ruins to retrieve his staff. It was damaged, but still usable.

Another fireball shot through the darkness of the night. Solas spotted it in time and blocked it with a wall of ice. It shattered and enclosed him in a brief storm of winds that disappeared quickly, and he had to protect his face from the icy crystals.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he shouted into the distance.

"I don't answer to you, Solas. Not anymore," a male voice growled back. Deep and full of rage. Inhuman.

In the dark, another fireball formed itself, dancing upon the palm of a hand. It reflected against fabric, a face, a pointy ear, and yet, it didn't; The being seemed almost translucent, dancing along the edges of the Veil.

The left eye glowed purple. The other... did not.

“We have to get you something for your back.” She hated that she wasn’t a mage, unable to heal him at a whim. Instead, she could only provide what aid the Dalish had taught her growing up. None of which would be helpful if they were currently under attack.

She whipped her head to the terrified horses, nodding as she stood suddenly and made her way back to them. Wrenching the two daggers she always kept at her hips free, she sliced through both of their rope bonds, sending them bolting into the forest and away from danger.

She pulled her father’s bow from her pack nearby, setting an arrow in preparation and then turning to rejoin Solas after he’d managed to grab his staff.

She was covered in dirt and singed with ash on her brow and in her red hair, the mark at her hand sparking. She wasn’t sure if she should use the devastating power she wielded with it, especially not when Solas said Davhal’s name.

So..that was who was after them.

But..if that was the case…wasn’t he dead?

"Davhal, if this is you... We can talk!" Solas stuttered.

"We are long over talking, Solas," he answered, his voice ghost-like and layered with a thousand songs. "Talking is your thing, isn't it?! You talk and talk and talk, but when you are required to actually do something, you destroy everything!"

"Please, Davhal, what I did was—"

"Necessary, right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

"... At the time, I thought it was. But I know now that it was wrong, that you deserved so much more than my misled judgement!" Solas begged.

"You should've pulled through. You should've killed me. Then, at least, you would've succeeded with your cruelty!"

The more Solas' eyes grew acustomed to the darkness again, the more he realized that Davhal didn't seem... real. At least not in a physical sense.

His body didn't throw a shadow as the light from the fire on his palm shone right through him, and the Veil behind him rippled ever so slightly. The colours were off and strange, almost dream-like.

Solas glanced at the sparking Anchor in Elliana's hand and leaned in to her, whispering, "This is either a spirit imitating his anger, or his remnant from the memories. Your mark is reacting to it... The Veil is thin here; There must be a rift nearby. Whatever this is... This is not the real Davhal."

The fire in the being's hand enlarged, sparks of ember dancing through the night. A hiss echoed along the Veil, a rumble of wrath illuminated.

“Solas,” she took a moment to very gently cup his face with both her hands. Yes, they were in danger, but he needed to hear this as much as Davhal did.

“Real or not, he is right, his pain is real. And maybe what Davhal or whatever this spirit is need…is an apology. You have regret for your actions. I’ve seen that you do, now he needs to see it.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sincere as she traced is cheekbone with her fingers.

“Sometimes, no matter your intention, admitting that you wronged someone and apologizing is the best way to move forward.”

Then, Elliana stepped back from Solas and turned to face this spirit, fire and rage and all, with her hands held up in surrender.

“Davhal, I see you’re hurting. I’ve seen your pain. I’m so sorry about your father.” Elliana meant it. “But your father raised you to be compassionate, to show mercy just like he did for you when you he found you as a child.”

She took another step closer. If worst came to worse, she could try to close the rift and stop this, but this being, this spirit, whatever he was, was hurting. He needed closure. He reminded her of a more rage-filled Cole.

“Your father knew you were good.” She said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t grow more enraged for mentioning his father like this. But she had to try.

And while he listened to her speak to Davhal — or his memory, or whatever embodied his essence — he knew that his love for Elliana grew even more than he could possibly comprehend.

Her gentleness, her patience, the love and empathy in her beautiful voice... With all of Davhal's memories still encapsulating his heart as though they were his own, and with everything that had come before any of the Merrits existed, he felt like she was speaking to him, as well.

Solas attempted to stop her from approaching Davhal, but his hand only met air. He was absolutely not comfortable with her shielding him from danger and getting closer to the same being who could effortlessly burn down entire camps, but he forced himself to remember all those times she had faced even more dangerous endeavours.

Meanwhile, Davhal listened, twisting the fireball above his hand with impatient movements of his fingers. Eventually, he clenched that hand into a fist, the fire disintegrating into rage-filled sparks.

"You know nothing of my pain! I was trapped in this memory for ages upon ages! One of your clans left me in a cave to die! What would you know about compassion?!"

"Davhal, please!" Solas begged, taking a step closer, desperate for his attention.

"I am sorry," he emphasized. "I am so, so sorry for every single ounce of pain that has been caused to you and your family. I am sorry that you got hurt even more because of my failure—"

"You are only sorry because you thought you were me! Because you feel my hurt!" Davhal shouted back, his voice cracking with both emotion and wrath.

"I do feel your hurt. Every little bit of it... And you want me punished for what I have done. I understand that more than you think—"

"Earl was my family, Solas! MINE! What gives you the right?!"

"Nothing, Davhal. Absolutely nothing does..."

Solas took some steps closer, raising his hands in surrender much like Elliana. He kept his voice low and cautious along with every single one of his movements. Behind Davhal, the tear in the Veil became more evident, its green lights shining through Davhal's being.

"You should have killed me thoroughly, not him..." he sobbed, "Why did you... Why did you have to kill my father?"

Solas swallowed his tears.

"Because he would have done anything to stop me from killing you. Because I couldn't force him to wake from his dream in order to hold him back... I had to make sure that I had enough power left to do... what I had to do... And because I wanted to spare him from watching you, his beloved son, die from the hand of a friend. All of it was for naught. I know that now... If I could, I would prevent all the pain that has been caused."

Then, for a moment, it was peaceful. The fiery heat that radiated from Davhal cooled down, and he knelt from losing his strength. Solas followed, reaching out his hand for him.

"I am sorry," Solas said again, quietly and sincerely. "I am sorry you and Earl were hurt. I am sorry about what happened to Greta. And I am sorry that you were trapped in your grief for so long because I failed... My friend, she is right. Earl would not have wanted for you to be vengeful."

Davhal stared down at his empty hands and shook his head, quietly weeping to himself. He briefly contemplated taking Solas' hand, but refrained from it.

Then, he nodded and said, "You're right... He would not have wanted that for me..."

Suddenly, Davhal pursed his lips and stared into Solas' eyes.

"But he is too dead to wish for anything for me."

It happened before Solas could stop it in time. But whatever — or whoever — suddenly stood between them, could. Davhal summoned a wave of fire, yet before he could let it devour Solas and Elliana whole, he was thrown back by a shockwave of kinetic energy. Davhal's voice echoed as he shouted in despair, thrown against the edges of the rift that had manifested behind him.

Solas' entire view was blocked by a massive hat as he pushed himself back and up again. The figure turned around, his thin and scarily fragile frame forming a silhouette against the rift.

"Inquisitor! Close the rift, and you shall be safe!" yelled none other than Cole, himself.

She kept her hands outstretched, willing her mark to stay calm and not flicker with the Fade’s green energy. She didn’t want to do anything that might scare Davhal or set him off.

“My people are not always the most compassionate. That does not excuse their actions and what they did to you.” She said, though she knew that that wound for Davhal would never fully go away.

“Davhal, you have the opportunity to make things better than what you faced in your life. You have the opportunity to live for yourself and for Earl. Choose the path that he would want for you, please!” She insisted.

Though, she had to stop herself when Solas began to speak. She was proud of him for apologizing to Davhal for everything that happened. It was all she could do, and she was pleased to see that he was learning.

There was even a moment or two where she thought Solas was making real progress with Davhal. She stayed beside him, ready to help if necessary, but this was about the two of them.

However, what happened next was so fast. Cole- there in front of them, insisting she close the rift. And Solas in distress, begging her not to.

She would always choose Solas.

“Cole! We’re pulling him out!” She said, her voice carrying the authority of the Inquisitor.

"If I use magic to pull him out, the Fade's gravitation will tear him apart. We have to try to do it manually!" Solas pleaded and dropped his staff like a heavy weight, storming towards the rift.

"Help me free him! Together!"

"NO!" Davhal cried, his voice echoing with the song of the Fade. He tried to move away from Solas' touch, but couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" he cried.

"Let me help you, Davhal! Please!"

Cole joined beside Solas in an instant. Solas had no idea if grabbing his arms was even possible, but with the Fade torn open and right in front of them, he was hopeful that his expectation to do so was enough to make an impact.

But Davhal needed to want to be helped, as well.

The rift tore at him, dragging him in deeper every second. Davhal growled, fighting its gut-wrenching gravity.

"Everything you touch burns down, Solas!"

"I cannot let the Fade claim you. It will repell you like a foreign body and shred you over and over again! I will not let that happen to you!"

"I don't want your help!"

Cole chimed in.

"Afraid... So afraid. I don't know what the Fade will bring, but I know that he will betray me again. If I am torn to shreds, will my suffering end?"

Davhal stared at him, first confusion, then shock, and then desperation distorting his features.

"You can hear my thoughts?"

"Your emotions," Cole answered. "I can feel them. Fighting, frightened, fierce. I don't want to die, but I cannot take more agony. I am too fragmented to live, but too real to fade away. Let us help you. Let us make you whole again. Another chance at peace."

Davhal lowered his head and started sobbing again. The tears were invisible within his translucent, unreal being, but the ground below him trickled with faint light when they fell.

Before they knew it, Davhal's free arm reached out, his hand grabbing tightly onto Solas'. The moment they touched, Davhal's arm lost its transparency, and instead of a ghostly limb, real skin and bones reflected the lights of the rift.

Solas grasped onto Davhal's real arm instantly, stunned at the sight, but focused nonetheless.

When Davhal finally consented to being helped, she felt a surge of hope that maybe he could be saved. Cole was right in everything that he was saying, scared, alone, exhausted, hurting.

“Come on!” She yelled when Solas told them to pull, so that was exactly what she did. Standing beside Cole and Solas, she pulled as hard as she possibly could.

“You’re alright Davhal,” she said as they managed to slow free him from this Fade prison. “We’re going to get you out!”

And she was right.

After several minutes of hard pulling, Davhal felt like of the Fade and right into Elliana’s arms. She managed to catch him, helping him to lie back on the ground and smoothing his hair from his face.

Elliana had been pulled and fallen from the Fade before. The first time had been alone, the second had been with Dorian and both had been jarring. She knew he was probably overwhelmed.

Every single touch solidified his being more.

The shiny, translucent consistency of his body gave way to real flesh and skin, tanned with patches of paleness. His face gained more features; The birthmark over his right eye took shape, along with his light brown hair as it followed the laws of physics, and his clothes started ripping under the force of his saviours' relentless holds.

Davhal grimaced, feeling their hope and strength pull him back into the world of the waking, but the gravity of the Fade was much the same, if not stronger. He bared his teeth and growled in pain, fighting against the feeling of getting ripped apart by all forces. Every centimeter he moved was anguish; The fright that washed over his whole being was agonizing, but begging to break free, like a scream that had been stuck in his throat for too long and was finally able to break out.

And when Elliana, Cole, and Solas finally pulled him out of the rift, Davhal cried, and bawled, and howled, until he was finally free.

He pushed himself forward and promptly fell as he lost balance, right into Elliana's arms. His back was met with the ground before he could catch a breath. His heart was racing ferociously in his chest and he clutched it, wild eyes staring around in complete sensory overstimulation. The tears that rolled from his eyes were endless.

But they proved that he was alive, and real.

Elliana's warm touch and soothing voice were like... the softest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Still, the feeling of the real world crashing down on his real body was too much to handle at once.

Solas pushed himself up and approached, looking down at him with relief and sympathy.

"Breathe, Davhal. Feel the warmth of her hand on your cheek. The cold air on your skin, the grass pressing against your back. Focus your eyes on Elliana's face," he said calmly, attempting to help ground him. As both him and Elliana already understood what that must feel like, Cole felt no need to verbalize Davhal's emotions.

Davhal tried his best to follow the instructions. Slowly but surely, he grew accustomed to how his body processed his surroundings, and his heavy, shaky breathing eventually calmed down. His eyes got lost in Elliana's stunning blue hues.

Out of breath, he tried to speak, but needed a couple of attempts.

"Y-You are... beautiful..." he croaked.

Solas promptly smiled and said, "Something we agree on after all..."

Davhal was heartbroken, that much was evident. Having to feel everything from his emotions to his body must have been more than a little overwhelming.

“Easy, lethallin. You are alright now.” She said softly, smoothing the hair back from his face with endless amounts of patience.

She wondered what it would mean for him now. He was alive..but where would he go? What would become of him? The Inquisition could offer him a home but..would he even want to go with them?

Elliana blushed when Davhal called her beautiful. She felt windswept and a little overwhelmed, but his words were sweet nonetheless.

“Sweet talker,” she told both Davhal and Solas, shaking her head slightly as she helped him sit up and stabilize. Her fingers caressed the side of Davhal’s cheek. She would give him as much time as he needed to fully adjust to his current position.

“Take it easy when you start to move,” once she was sure he was as good as he could be given the circumstances, Elliana turned to Cole with her brows raised in surprise.

He lowered his head and breathed.

"I was needed here. And I still am," said Cole when Elliana asked how he got here. "I sensed that my friends were in danger."

Solas smiled slightly. When he got closer, Davhal scooted away just a little bit, still understandably wary of him. Solas noticed, and stopped.

“Well,” she made sure that Davhal was stable before moving to stand beside Cole, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m thankful for your arrival. You truly have always shown up at the best times.”

She turned back to Davhal, approaching and crouching down beside him. She observed him as best she could, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him.

Davhal raised his gaze to meet with Elliana's when she joined him again, feeling how heavy his head was compared to his still weak neck. He was exhausted beyond measure, taking deep, tired breaths.

"I... I don't know... I am so tired..." he murmured softly, running his hands through his hair.

"To be made real is one of the most difficult things to go through as a former spiritual being," Solas said empathetically. !I strongly assume you were a memory... but I don't yet know how the Rift helped in giving you a real body. You can feel the world on your skin now. You will feel hungry, tired, exhausted... And I know I have a lot to answer for to deserve your trust, but I am more than willing to help you through this. As is Elliana. And, I am sure, Cole - as a former spirit of Compassion - wants to help you, as well."

Davhal sighed again and shook his head tiredly.

"I... don't know. I feel so... wrong... so misplaced. I wanted to kill you, but..."

He sighed, and stopped talking, the mere weight of his own voice too much to carry.

"It's all gone now," Cole intervened. As so often, he looked into the emotions of those who needed guidance, and painted a picture of them.

"It's all too much. The world, it's scary. I'm not meant for it. Everything feels wrong. Twisted, turned, tortured... What do I do now?"

"Exhaustion has many faces, Davhal," Solas said kindly. "Once you have rested, it will be better."

Davhal stared into the grass, opening his mouth, but nothing came out. Forming words with his body was painful and tiring. Thankfully, Cole was there to speak for him.

"I don't want to be real. I only didn't want the Fade to take me, twist me. I don't want to be angry. It was all for naught. I want... rest. I want to rest how I rested before."

The young elf looked up at Cole with an expression of sorrow, and nodded. Solas frowned slightly.

"If I take you back to the memory, you will return to reliving it over and over again."

"No," Cole said. "He means this."

He approached them, palms combined to hold the jawbone amulet that had been broken in half. Solas first looked down at it, and then at Davhal again.

"You rested inside the pendant, Davhal? Is that true?"

He nodded.

Solas let out a breath of astonishment, the realization shaking his very core.

"You were the key all along... You called for my attention when my scar was torn open. You made the amulet glow with magic. And when I unlocked it earlier, then used it to activate the portal with the statue... You were freed. And all of your anger was let loose after ages of slumber."

Without thinking about it, seeing his fingers move through his hair, she moved to brush her own through his in an attempt to soothe him. She knew he probably didn’t have the words to explain his exhaustion. So when Cole chimed in for him, she felt a surge of respect and relief for their spirit friend.

“Well done, Cole.” She said gently. “Well done.” His compassion and his understanding of Davhal was what they all needed to hear, especially because perhaps he was helping Davhal work out his feelings and how to communicate them in real time.

“You were the one calling..” she said, her hands pausing in Davhal’s hair. It seemed like a lifetime again, when the amulet lit up and this search for answers led them to him. “We heard you. We heard you, and you’re free now.”

Solas reached out in an attempt to help him steady himself, but Davhal flinched away from his hand, holding out his own to show that he was alright. Plus, with Elliana right beside him, Solas was sure that he had more than enough support.

His heart warmed at the sight, feeling glad that she was there to soothe Davhal - and that he accepted it so effortlessly.

Davhal looked upon the amulet with fascination and yearning, gently touching it with his delicate fingers.

"No," he said softly at her question, shaking his head.

"I don't think my anger will ever be fully out of me. It still burns within me... What happened to me, to us, was not fair."

He frowned, and so did Solas.

"But when I look at this, this talisman, I feel... calmer. I never wanted to be free, I just wanted... release."

"Release from the memories you were trapped within?" Solas asked softly. Davhal nodded.

"Can I... go back? Into the amulet? Where I was... weightless?"

Solas paused.

"I don't know if that is possible, now that you are made of flesh and bone," he uttered quietly, approaching him carefully. "I can try, of course. The gravity between your essence and the pendant is still there, and since the memories that were trapped within are released, you should be safe in there. Are you... sure, that you want this?"

Davhal nodded.

Though, she looked somewhat surprised that he wanted to return to the amulet. Blinking several times, she took a couple of steps closer so she could meet his gaze.

“You’re..you’re sure?” But she saw him nod to Solas, and she wanted to respect his wishes. He deserved to make whatever choice would ease his pain the most.

“If that is what you need…then I wish you nothing but the best, Davhal.” She said, taking one of his hands in her own and pressing a little kiss to it before stepping back.

"Thank you, Elliana... I will make sure to remember that," he said softly, eyes quickly drawn back to the pendant. His eyes were fixed on it, never blinking.

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Solas approached some more.

"I will do my very best to help you return into the amulet. But Davhal, if I fail—"

"Then, at least, he will not fall apart like a memory without a place to hold it, because he is real now," Cole interrupted. Astonished, Solas first looked at him, then back at Davhal to see if he approved. With a nod, Davhal made it evident.

"I will live, and... adjust," he said. "I want that, one day... But I am not ready for that yet. I want... I need... calm... And home."

Solas frowned at him.

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Davhal. However, you understandably do not trust me after what I have done to you. I cannot say for certain that you will not be turned or twisted against your nature if you doubt the intentions of my magic. You have gained a body, yes, which strengthens your manifestation in this world, but your core is still spiritual. I don't want to destroy that by having to tap into the Fade and allowing it to influence the rite. I don't want to... destroy you."

She looked to Solas, her gaze almost sad, because she had hoped that he might be able to help Davhal find what he needed to be whole and at least content for a while.

“Do you what you must,” she insisted softly, hoping that he might be able to at least find a compromise that everyone could be pleased with.

"I trust Solas. He is my friend. He wants to help. Always. The Inquisitor Elliana Lavellan trusts him, too."

Solas looked touched by Cole's words, although still unconvinced, unsure where he was going with this.

She moved to stand beside Davhal so she could look him fully in the eyes as she spoke.

“Because, Cole is right. His intentions are good. He never intends to hurt anyone. And deep down, I know all that Solas wants is to help. Sometimes things get lost in translation as many things do. As the Inquisitor, I’m sure many people have doubted the choices I’ve made, even if I thought they were the right ones.”

She didn’t initially register that Davhal had said aloud just how much Elliana adored Solas. She had never even dared to say the word out loud around Solas, for fear of spooking him like a wild animal and sending him running. Hearing Davhal say it out loud…

She blushed, suddenly ducking her head. Her love had been unrequited and stopped by Solas multiple times. She’d taken to keeping it locked away, even if it came out in her actions. So she didn’t add anything to Davhal’s statement, even as kind and sincere as it was.

Before Solas began to return the poor boy to his memories, Elliana reached over and very gently smoothed some hair back from his face.

“You will always have someone looking out for you on this side of the world. I hope in the mean time, you are able to find some peace where you need it, friend.” She said as a way of farewell.

She watched then in silence as Solas returned Davhal to where he belonged, watched in awe as the pendant was once again whole, and realized that he hopefully had the closure and clarity he had spent so long looking for.

And as he cried, Elliana remained silent and still beside him, allowing him to fully process the grief and all that had happened. She couldn’t even begin to fathom it, even as the Inquisitor, nothing she’d ever seen began to rival this.

She offered Cole an approving smile and nod of her head. “Well done,” she said gently to him.

Though, she grew almost shy when Solas approached her like that, taking her hands and looking at her with such sincerity. They’d spent so long dancing around one another that when he reached for her like this she could scarcely believe it was happening.

And then to hear his words…his assurance that all this time, he’d cared for her too, that he’d stayed away because of his own attempt to protect her, her expression softener into something of a laugh and a sweet smile.

“Solas…can you not see?” She had said it only minutes before. “You are worth it all. If you cannot have children, it does not matter. If you live forever, then I wish to spend my mortal life by your side. I’ve chosen you since the moment I’ve met you.” She whispered, her voice quiet, still afraid even now that he might pull away from her.

“Spending a life by your side would not ruin it. It would be a joy. Just because our life won’t be conventional doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fulfilling. It would be ours.” She insisted softly.

She had been gazing up into those timeless eyes of his, wishing she could fully express the depths of her love for him, but Davhal had already done it for her.

“Ar lath ma,” she finally said after a moment’s hesitation. She decided in that moment she would lay it all out, fully. Whatever his answer was, she would live by.

And truly, she wouldn’t have minded one bit.

Though, something seemed to have changed in Solas. Or perhaps evolved was the better word to use, because she could have sworn she could see him growing right before her eyes: allowing himself to fully open up to her in ways she’d never known.

Then…he was holding her, and her heart nearly collapsed in on itself. His touch so strong and gentle, supporting her as she leaned fully into him and looked up at him with wide, shy, devoted blue eyes.

And then, by the gods, his words. Adoring, beautiful, whispered in that captivating Elven tongue, perhaps the first thing she’d ever fallen in love with, the way he spoke. She savored every word he spoke, tears beginning to rise in her eyes. Not of sadness, but an overwhelming sense of joy she felt at knowing he loved her too.

Every touch, then kiss of his lips, she grew more and more dazed with desire and adoration. By the time his lips brushed just next to her mouth, she was looking at him in a way she never had before. And she’d never looked at anyone that way.

Elliana had been kissed before. Elliana had experienced some pleasure before the Inquisition claimed her life, but never, not once in all her life, had anyone made her feel the way Solas did.

She had gently brought his hands up to her lips, kissing the back of them in the sweetest little touch.

To her embarrassment, she almost had completely forgotten Cole was there. But at his assistance that Solas would age with her, that their lives could move forward together, she could have kissed Cole out of Joy and gratitude.

“See, Vhenan?” Elliana whispered, her hands very gently moving to slide up to cup Solas’ face, holding him so gently. “We can be together. We can live a life. Nothing…nothing would bring me more happiness than…than knowing that we could spend it together.” Tears of emotion began to slip down her cheeks.

Just as Solas leaned in and gave her the kind of kiss that was life-changing, putting her destiny on a path perhaps she didn’t even realize the gravity of. All she knew in that moment was him, and she poured every inch of herself into it. Here, awake, in the real world, where the full weight of her love could consume them both.

It was almost clumsy, her kisses, because she was so desperate for that attempt to be near him. She wanted everything that he would give her, almost greedy in the kisses she stole from him when he pulled back to breathe.

She let out an apologetic noise when she realized she had touched his wounds, briefly grounding her back in reality, only for her to dismiss it all again and immediately launch herself into Solas’ arms when he pulled her in for another kiss. Curiously, playfully, she let her tongue brush along his lower lip before kissing him again fully.

“Ir abela, Vhenan.” She said, very gently hovering her fingers over the spot where he’d been burned.

Lips swollen, eyes wild, she chuckled breathlessly as he told her he would have wished for her happiness; even if it was with another.

“My love,” she murmured, leaning back in so their noses touched while she spoke. “there is no one who could ever compare to you. No one else I would ever want,” she insisted, trailing her own fingers slowly down the back of his neck to his shoulders, purposefully avoiding his injuries.

Though, hearing him swear, calling himself an idiot, she threw back her head and laughed. Not at him, but in joy and relief that there was nothing holding either of them back anymore. She giggled more softly and this time, her hands rested against his chest, tracing her fingers over his beating heart.

“Your words, not mine.” She teased, but she shook her head. “I know what your intentions were. But I think you shouldn’t have to worry about them anymore. We can grow old together. It would be a privilege to spend my life by your side.” She insisted, leaning up and nuzzling her nose against his.

“Now,” she playfully began to guide him back towards their camp. “Let us see if there are any materials left to mend your wounds with.” She caught his lips in what was meant to be a quick kiss, only to distract herself. Before she knew it, she was deepening the kiss, fully losing herself in the way he felt, his scent, so familiar and warm…

She pulled back only when she realized it had been a few minutes of her kissing him over and over again, pink tinging her ears and cheeks.

There was so much fighting these past few months, not only in battles, but within himself, too. Now he felt inclined to laugh about the struggles he had needlessly put on himself. He still had a journey ahead of himself. Both of them did. But at least, they could continue its wake with intertwined hands.

When she pecked his lips but ended up kissing him for minutes and minutes, Solas would be a fool if he complained, so he leaned in and pulled her closer by the waist. It was a bliss to lose himself so fully, forgetting time and space. Even the pain from his burn was almost forgotten, and burns were always the most painful kind of injury to him.

Solas chuckled against her lips. Her blushing face was cute, and the way even the tips of her pointy ears turned red was incredibly endearing.

"Any physical sensation in your dreams is a result of expectations. You imagine what it feels like, or you have already experienced it, and you don't question its relatively light sensation. You only feel the result of the kiss. Excitement, happiness, closeness, warmth... When you share your dream with someone else's, a kiss, or any touch, makes the souls entwine as their auras overlap, and to withstand such intensity, they must hold onto each other. Therefore, for us, it was... more a spiritual connection than anything else. But I knew I thrived on it. I... wanted more."

He slid his arms around her waist tighter, never looking away from her eyes.

"A kiss in the waking world is... more intense, sensually. You feel it more consciously, physically. The heart beats heavier, perhaps even painfully. The touch feels more real. Heavier. That's why it is harder to find courage to do it here for the first time, and why it's even harder to stop once you did..."

Solas smiled at her, savouring the feeling of warmth between them. He leaned in to let his lips brush against hers teasingly.

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.

“Solas..” she couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say that might soothe him. Truly, what could she say to him like this? He was mourning the loss of his father, realizing that all he had ever known was wrong. She moved to knee before him, stroking his back and along his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.

She didn’t say anything for several long moments, instead focusing on being there for him, holding him through all of it, being kind and warm and gentle, that sunshine she had inside her doing her best warm him. She didn’t know what to do or say, perhaps there wasn’t anything she could.

“Your..your memories are intertwined with Davhal’s..” it was all she could offer. “Perhaps at the time you thought you were doing the right thing..”

"And after all this, you are still... here... with me..." he croaked, his voice hoarse from having screamed his life out before.

He kept his eyes closed. With how red and swollen they were now, there was no point in trying to see the world around him. He could feel that Elliana was right there, holding him, warming him, keeping him sane with the softness of her voice.

That was more than he deserved. More than he could have asked.

"I realize that there are many things that require an explanation," he whispered softly, "... and you deserve to hear them all." Solas leaned back and just gazed at her for a while. He unintentionally smudged some dirt onto her face as he cupped her cheek and immediately tried to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then, he took her hands and pulled Elliana up with him when he got up again, although he still needed to steady himself on the statue for a moment.

He seemed to have dissociated from his body to make the pain more bearable. His face was tired, bleak, exhausted, void of life.

She blinked once when he said so softly that she was there with him. Her gaze softened and without thinking about it, she too brushed her fingers across his face in a gesture of tenderness.

“There is no one where in all of Thedas that I would rather be,” and she left it at that. Because truly, there wasn’t.

When he brushed his fingers over her face, she leaned more fully into him, looking up at him with that expression of devotion.

When he stood, pulling her with him, she nodded after a moment and simply held his hands. That curious nature of hers was desperate to know more about what she’d seen, but one step at a time. She wasn’t going to push.

“Let’s go,” she agreed, keeping her hands in his to steady him a bit as they started the short walk back to camp. She was grateful it was nearby, she planned to get Solas into a chair by the fire so he could process everything.

There would be a lot of time to cry. A lot of time for him to mourn. She intended to stay with him through it. It took less than five minutes to walk to camp, and once they were there, she made a point to help him sit in one of the nearby chairs by the fireplace.

"Forgive me, I... I am trying to process..." he whispered.

"All this time, I carried Davhal's memories as though they were my own. And I still do... They are all still there. I didn't just kill him, I... I took his life and lived it. And Earl, and Greta..."

Solas took a very deep breath to contain another wave of cruel emotions.

“There is nothing to forgive. Take your time. If it’s an hour or a month, you need to feel this fully. To understand it all.” It was the only way; through. No matter how overwhelmed he was.

“Solas, I don’t know all that has happened in your past.” It was obvious he was keeping things hidden from her, so she didn’t know who he was before…now. “But I know who you are now. You lived with those memories because you genuinely believed they were your own. You didn’t lie, you didn’t deceive, you truly believe them.”

She was saddened to hear there was more he was keeping from her, but, for now it wasn’t her place to push him about it.

"Thank you..." he whispered and breathed again to brace himself.

He had no idea where the hell to start.

"... It is true that the Merritts lived hundreds of years ago."

Solas paused and swallowed. His heart ached with how difficult this was going to be.

"And it is also true that I was in contact with Earl and Davhal through their dreams at the time. Until today, I... I believed that I was left on their doorstep fourty-two years ago. And it made sense because I was sure that I was... reborn."

Solas breathed, swallowed once more, and finally raised his face to look at her. His grey eyes turned violet again as they met with hers - deep, and true, and honest.

"But I was not reborn. I was always me... for a long, long time. I laid in dark and dreaming sleep as countless wars and ages passed. My Uthenera began as the great empire of the elves collapsed... And it ended merely a year before we met."

His chest quivered with both relief and despair as he said it out loud, and his purple eyes welled up with tears again.

She forced her racing, fluttering heart to quiet so she could be of best comfort to him. This was not about her, it was about him.

When he lifted his gaze to hers again and she saw those gorgeous, striking purple eyes, she had to bite back a squeak of surprise. She remembered what had happened the last time she’d seen those eyes, and her heart had been broken. So she stayed quiet and merely listened to him.

Though, when the reality and the gravity of what he was saying his her, her expression went blank. As if she’d fallen into one of the frozen ponds her clan would camp beside, leaving her shocked and still.

Hearing Solas say he was an Ancient…it..somehow made sense. Because of all he knew, because of his wisdom and his gifts. And yet..Elliana found it so hard to believe at the same time.

“H-how? You…you were asleep? What…why were you..?” She could barely form the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb all he’d said. Though, despite her shock, she never pulled away from him, her hands stayed gripping his own.

The fact that she never once let go of his hands strengthened his soul and helped him recover from the initial despair. It was hard to tell the truth, but that was the very thing he was made for. In reality, Solas had been more scared of her reaction than anything else.

But Elliana was not upset, or angry, or punishing him for disappointing any expectations. She still held him, and listened. The relief was nothing short of liberating.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little in the end.

"I assure you, I don't know everything," he said softly.

"I witnessed mere echoes of history in the Fade. I learned the languages as they developed, how magic changed through the ages, how the elves were enslaved and are now still suppressed all over Thedas... I woke up alone, deep within Arlathan Forest."

He looked at her again, a deep frown carving valleys into his forehead.

“Appalled? No.” She regained enough composure to very gently squeeze his hands with her own. Another soothing and gentle gesture. “But..amazed? Confused? A little concerned for your well-being, absolutely.” She offered a crooked smile.

“But…you were alone. Lost in time. I…you must have been frightened.” She couldn’t imagine having your entire world turned upside down like that and waking in a different time.

“No wonder you think Sera is annoying. Though in truth, she can be a little much..” she admitted softly. But, it made sense suddenly. So many little things about Solas that she’d observed for so long, now she saw it for what it was.

“So…if you’re an Ancient…what does that make you now, Solas? You…must have felt so alone when you woke.” She lifted one hand to cradle the wide or his face. On top of thinking he’d been reborn, to lose the thought of Earl and his past and now realizing he’d slept for a millennia…

"I was frightened, I admit. It took a whole day until I remembered. Until then, I wandered through Arlathan like a lost lion cub."

The mention of Sera got another gentle smile out of him.

"Sera is... the result of what had happened to the elves, among other things. Of course, she frustrates me. As does Varric. They are both the farthest from their heritage as they could possibly be, but given their histories, I should be more patient. They should not have to deal with my... adjustment issues. Unless Sera fills my bedroll with lizards again. That was... uncomfortable."

Solas did not like thinking back on that night. He had woken up the entire camp by screaming his lungs out, cursing elven profanities, and throwing these poor lizards around in a desperate attempt to get rid of them.

Not that he minded lizards at all. But feeling not only one, but several little things squirming somewhere inside his bedroll was... quite unsettling.

The memory slid out of his head once he felt the warmth of Elliana's hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Elvhenan fell about four millennia ago. The elves lived slowly, never truly paying attention to how time passed. I am not sure what exactly that makes me... Although, what I do know is this: The majority of my life was spent in Uthenera."

Opening his eyes again, Solas looked into hers.

“I won’t let that happen again.” She grumbled, still somewhat frustrated by the way that she had done that, and had proceeded to prank others in their group as well. Sera was…unique to say the least.

When Solas leaned into her hand, she cupped him further and just savored the feeling of his warm, his smile, anything that made him feel just a little bit more..normal, after everything that he had been through.

“What…is Uthenera?” The word was somehow unfamiliar to her, even though she’d made it a point to try and know her culture and history as much as the Dalish possibly could. Again, the idea that there was so much between them..years..she wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Someone so young, so new.

Filling in the blanks was healing for him, in a way, even though Solas knew that he would have to pick up the topic of the Merritts again. After coming with him all this way to find the truth, and staying with him through it, he wanted to be as honest to her as he could be.

He not only owed it to her as the Inquisitor, but as her friend.

Solas nodded, and continued.

"About twenty years before the Fourth Blight began, I sensed traces of very ancient elven magic in the Fade. When I followed it, I found a prophecy. 'The Huntress shall awake and give birth into the waking with fire and taint.' Hundreds of years ago, the Dalish of Northern Thedas focused a lot of their research on prophecies like these, writing interpretations and painting murals. Over the generations, they formed the belief that Andruil, the Huntress, would be reborn, and this child would be marked by 'fire and taint'."

"And then, some day during the Black Age, a Dalish clan gave birth to a little boy: He had a large, fiery birthmark across the right side of his face, and the eye on that same side was entirely blackened. The rest of his body had patches of malpigmentation. Fire and taint. His healthy eye was violet, which was believed to inherit the spirit of an ancient elf... That was Davhal. They immediately connected him with the prophecy. And since birthmarks are rarely associated with luck and good fortune, they abandoned the boy in a cave to die."

He paused to take a deep breath.

It suddenly hit her harder that Solas was not mortal. He was an immortal ancient, having lived eons, many lives, and had only now just rejoined. She felt so…so insignificant compared to him. No wonder he’d seemed so uncertain and guarded when they’d first met. He’d woken in an alien world. The elves who were here now were not his people.

She lowered her hand from his face to his heart. A heart that had lived and loved so much longer than her.

“Mythal enaste…” she whispered. “This heart…has beat through time.”

She listened as he spoke of the prophecy, of Davhal, of the Dalish. She knew her people were superstitious, even brutal, but hearing that Davhal’s mother had risked and lost her life defending him..she shook her head and sighed.

“His poor mother.” She shook her head again. “Earl was even more rare than I realized, if he lived through the Black Age. The humans were..so cruel.” She often liked to give the benefit of the doubt but even she knew the brutality of it all back then.

Still, there was hesitation in it. Never had he needed her touch more than tonight, but it was too easy to lose himself in her like that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him for eternity. Slowly, he lowered their hands from his chest, but he kept their fingers intwined.

"From what I was able to sense, yes. Long before the gods disappeared, Andruil left a piece of her essence wandering the waking world. Over the centuries, this essence was too weak to plant itself within the life of another. I don't want to claim that a mere birthmark is an indicator of doom, however... Davhal was a Dreamer, like me. Perhaps, his closer connection to the Fade made it possible for Andruil's essence to manifest within him."

Solas looked down upon their joined hands, continuously caressing her fingers with his thumb. Gods, how good it felt to have her this close in spite of all the reasons not to let that happen...

"I found Earl's dreams in an attempt to offer my assistance. He needed to know that this child had the potential of causing significant damage to the world... You see, prophecies were never meant to be taken as promises. If anything, they were warnings. I theorized that if Davhal were to be raised with the amount of love he really needed, any influence coming from Andruil's essence would weaken. If the warning of the prophecy was serious, we could have stopped it from coming to pass by guiding him in the right direction. If the prophecy was simply misinterpreted or untrue, an abandoned boy would simply have a family. In my mind, there was no harm in that... and Earl agreed eventually."

"It was truly fate that Davhal's mother chose their house. I assume you know what would have happened to him, had he been left a few houses down the street..."

Solas touched the scar on his forehead as it tingled softly. It had already fully healed ever since it tore open the other night, and he let out a deep sigh thinking of how this scar really came to be.

"As you can imagine, growing up as a lone elf in a human village was hard. He was very alone. Even though Earl gave him love, guidance, and acceptance, Davhal had a very difficult time as a boy. The violence he was faced with was... despicable. No amount of love could make that better, but I still had hope. Davhal grew older, stronger, and eventually became a rebellious teenager."

He smiled a little at that notion, but it vanished.

"If only it was as consequential as with any other boy his age... Andruil's essence was strengthened by his struggles. Earl begged me to help because he was starting to lose faith, thus I started to visit the boy in his dreams, and for a while, it seemed that my guidance helped him feel better. I showed him how to control his magic, what a Dreamer was able to do and how much wisdom it offered. He was, truly, a remarkable young man. He was kind to others despite the hatred that came his way. He grew into the philosopher that Earl always was, so bright and full of hope. Unfortunately, even my guidance was not enough. Or, perhaps, my presence in his dreams even caused what came next."

Solas sighed heavily and paused for a moment.

So when his fingers intertwined with hers and he lowered their hands but kept up the constant soothing touch, she did her best to focus on his face, on his words. And she did— Davhal’s story and all Solas had learned was fascinating and tragic. Her curiosity fluttered, growing stronger with every word he said.

But, that didn’t stop her from leaning in just slightly, so their foreheads were touching once again, while her thumb brushed against the pulse point of his wrist, savoring his closeness.

“It sounds like…Dahval did learn. From Earl, from you. Was..Davhal’s outburst of anger and Blight…was it fully intentional?” She wondered if, as a teenager, he’d simply lost control of his power and accidentally hurt Greta.

“You did your best, Lethallin. You wanted to help, to give him a chance after all his mother had sacrificed and all that you knew. I don’t think you can blame yourself for what happened with Greta and Dahval.” She said sincerely, squeezing his hand and letter her index finger trace the inside of his wrist.

“I think…I think that even if it was not what you expected, you still learned and you felt and you grew. Humans will never be entirely cruel again, because you knew Earl. Even if it was through dreams. You saw true love and kindness.”

She was quiet for a moment. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask a million questions, but she wondered if it would be too much after what he’d seen. To try and make him smile, perhaps ease some of his pain, she offered that radiant, glowing smile of hers and met his gaze.

Her innocence. Her happiness.

He sighed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that Elliana knew what she was getting herself into.

"His outburst, maybe. To have Andruil's spark blight her? I highly doubt that. There was definite resentment between them for a number of reasons, some more justified than others. But Davhal was shocked when it happened and he tried to help her before Earl shut him out completely. Davhal lost himself in a very dark place and not even I could help him out of it. Regret is a very haunting feeling... I realized that Andruil's essence manifested further, growing, strengthening... Earl and I were powerless to stop it."

"After Greta passed, Davhal ran away a couple of times. He would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, straying away from his purpose. He even learned how to block my view from him through the Veil, which wasn't too difficult, considering how weakened I was from my involuntary slumber... But I knew that if Andruil's essence took over, it could be the beginning of another Blight. It had to be stopped. He... had to be stopped."

"I waited for the next time he would come home. It took years for me to gather enough of my power... I visited Earl's dream after years of no contact and tried to tell him that there was nothing left that we could do. I wanted to give him a chance to have a say in his fate. In the memories, you have heard me offer to make Davhal Tranquil instead, so Earl would keep his son... He would have none of it, but I cannot possibly blame him. That I even considered it... disgusts me..."

He took a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her hand in his. Solas could feel his emotions rising up again.

"I wanted so desperately to help him grow, to stop Andruil's Blight. but it was all for naught... I knew Earl would do anything in his power to stop me from hurting him... And so I realized I had to kill them both through their dreams. But it did not work in the world's favour... Just a year after their deaths, the Fourth Blight broke out regardless of our efforts. All this pain, this suffering... It was for nothing. Killing them was the last thing I ever did before I awoke. My slumber was completely void of dreams because I used all my remaining power. Perhaps, too much of it was wasted when I ended Earl's life, first. Perhaps, murdering Davhal only set the Blight free in the first place. Perhaps, I couldn't kill him at all..."

His eyes watered again and Solas made a point to swallow them back down immediately. He did not deserve to feel this way after all that he had done, and the shame of it threatened to devour him whole. His knee began rocking up and down due to his nerves catching fire, but he didn't notice.

"You shouldn't be so kind to me, my love..."

Solas kissed her hands softly, over and over, almost losing himself in it.

She listened in silence as he continued his story. Even though their foreheads were touching, she made a point to try to meet his gaze, so that he knew she was listening, and that she wasn’t afraid of what she was hearing. Being honest like this, bearing his soul in a way, she knew he needed to feel safe to do so.

“Solas…you couldn’t have known for certain what was happening. You…may be ancient. And wise. But that doesn’t mean that you can foresee every outcome. You tried. You tried to help Dahval find his way. You tried to help Earl guide him. There is..only so much one person can do.”

“Perhaps..this is a lesson. A lesson to remember that as much as you want to change things, there is a limit to what we can do. You tried, Solas. You wanted to help. And now…now you must learn from what happened. And I think you have.” She gave him an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

As Solas began to stew in his regret, letting his emotions overtake him as he thought of killing Earl and Dahval, she didn’t think, she simply brought herself closer to him so she could try to comfort him.

“Solas—“ she started to say, intent on finding something that might bring him some comfort or ease his pain, only to freeze.

He…he’d called her his love.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Her heart leapt for joy in her chest, but there was still a cautious part of her, a part of her that thought she was too young, too different from him, that he’d pull away from her again.

And yet…

“And yet, I’m still here.” Emotion rose in her throat, making her own eyes tear up just a little bit. She watched as he kissed her skin, leaving her shivering with delight.

As she did when they’d dreamed together in the Fade, she tilted his chin very gently so he would face her, look into her eyes, perhaps see all the love that had been there for so long. Just for him.

Solas wanted nothing more than to believe her.

That there was a limit to what one person could do.

That he could learn from this and move on.

But his regrets felt so... impossible to overcome. He had the power to change things. He had the means to achieve what must be achieved. And yet, he failed, over and over and over again. The consequences of his failures were too great to make undone or move on from. His wisdom was not enough. He was not enough. Mythal had taught him that.

And so, Solas would try anew, instead.

With Davhal, he failed to keep him from the Blight's grasp, so he provoked his rebirth to have a clean slate for the next attempt – until it was enough to save the world, and Davhal's reborn soul, from Andruil.

As with a failed stroke of his brush on his paintings, Solas would cover up the mistake, try again, and perfect it – until it was good enough.

Solas shook his head faintly, the deepest of sighs escaping his body. This pain, this familiar agony, was almost blissful to drown in. The evidence that he was good enough in Elliana's eyes in spite of the mistakes she knew about...

It was refreshing, and healing, but also scary, and haunting.

To break free from his past, move on from his mistakes, and just have her?

Could she be his last chance to try everything anew? Could she be his clean slate?

When her voice broke, Solas stopped kissing her hands but kept them close within his own, and looked at her with a deep frown. His eyes filled with sadness over causing this wave of sorrow for her as one of his hands broke free to cup her cheek.

"Don't cry..." he whispered softly. His hand wandered down to her neck before Solas leaned in to plant the softest of kisses on her now vacant cheek. He made it last, feeling it impossible to keep his lips away from her warmth. His lungs quivered with delight and comfort, his heart feeling heavy and light in his chest as it raced.

That was when the horses started grumbling and growling, tugging at their ties and kicking the air.

Solas promptly removed his lips from Elliana's cheek and stared at them as he held his breath. As much as he hated this disturbance... he knew that only the foolish choose to ignore it when their horses get nervous out of nowhere.

"Something's wrong. We are not alone," he whispered and glanced around. His eyes fixed on something behind Elliana, right next to the fire.

He froze, immediately.

"H-How..."

Regrettably, he got up from his chair and approached the fire, picking up whatever he had spotted next to it.

It was a bouquet of violet and yellow flowers – cornflowers and primroses, just like the ones on Earl's grave – tied together by the very leather strap of Solas' necklace. The bone of the wolf's jaw was broken in half.

"That was not here before. I left the pendant with the statue! How did it--"

He heard it before he saw it, but he saw it in time.

Solas lunged forward and grasped Elliana's hand to drag her away with force, almost yanking her arm out in the process; He pulled her in front of him to shield her when a blazing fire crashed right through his tent and grazed his back, letting him cry out in pain. The campfire reacted with an outburst of energy powerful enough to send them to the dirty ground.

His entire body laid atop hers like layers of armor, her head deeply hidden within his protective embrace. Solas' tent caught fire within two heartbeats and burned like Andraste's pyre. The horses went crazy, trying desperately to free themselves from their ties.

Once Solas was certain that they were safe, he pulled back slightly and stared down at Elliana with terror in his eyes. The pain on his back was completely forgotten at the sight of her.

She loved him. Just as he was. She loved him as just Solas. She loved him as an ancient. And she loved him even if his actions and choices hadn’t been the right solution. She didn’t need perfection…she wanted him.

This was his choice now. She had laid everything she could out on the table for himself and she could also tell that at some point, someone or something had made Solas believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be perfect, that things had to align in some unattainable way…

Perhaps it was because he was an Ancient. Immortal, potentially. Maybe he had shaped worlds and lives for so long he didn’t know how to let go and live his own. More than likely, his regret was festering and burning him. And he wasn’t ready to let it go.

And if he couldn’t let it go, then he would never choose her.

Somehow that made it so much harder for Elliana, the more she thought about it. Tears sprang to her eyes when he told her not to cry, an automatic reaction. She didn’t speak, simply stayed silent as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And by the gods, just a kiss on her cheek and his hand on the back of her neck…it was enough to set her soul aflame.

That was, until he suddenly pulled back. She too heard the horses begin to grow restless, and as someone who has grown up being attuned to nature it made her instantly pay attention to their surroundings.

When she saw the flowers, her eyes narrowed and she frowned in confusion.

“That doesn’t make sense. We saw that in those memories it was you who were manipulating things..and if you didn’t do that-“ she started to ask who would be following them now, when it all happened so quickly.

It was not the first time she’d survived an explosion since she want to the Chantry, but it certainly wasn’t easier. The wind had been knocked out of her when Solas had tackled her to the ground. She was gasping to suck air back into her lungs, her eyes a bit foggy with the force of them hitting the ground, but for the most part, she was fine.

“Solas!” She didn’t even have time to answer his question, she reached for his back in a panic. “Vhenan!” She tried to wiggle out from under him so she could see any damage the fire might have caused.

"I'm okay!" he forced out, relieved that she seemed to be uninjured. Solas allowed her to get out from under him, although he made sure to keep her close. He cupped her cheek to make her focus on him.

"Go free the horses, quickly! They will return once everything is safe. Then get your weapon. I'll handle this!"

He forced himself up, feeling the heat of the fire reach for his face. With a swift but strong movement of his arm, a shockwave of winter threw itself onto the tent and extinguished the fire. Solas wasted no time and rummaged through the burnt ruins to retrieve his staff. It was damaged, but still usable.

Another fireball shot through the darkness of the night. Solas spotted it in time and blocked it with a wall of ice. It shattered and enclosed him in a brief storm of winds that disappeared quickly, and he had to protect his face from the icy crystals.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he shouted into the distance.

"I don't answer to you, Solas. Not anymore," a male voice growled back. Deep and full of rage. Inhuman.

In the dark, another fireball formed itself, dancing upon the palm of a hand. It reflected against fabric, a face, a pointy ear, and yet, it didn't; The being seemed almost translucent, dancing along the edges of the Veil.

The left eye glowed purple. The other... did not.

“We have to get you something for your back.” She hated that she wasn’t a mage, unable to heal him at a whim. Instead, she could only provide what aid the Dalish had taught her growing up. None of which would be helpful if they were currently under attack.

She whipped her head to the terrified horses, nodding as she stood suddenly and made her way back to them. Wrenching the two daggers she always kept at her hips free, she sliced through both of their rope bonds, sending them bolting into the forest and away from danger.

She pulled her father’s bow from her pack nearby, setting an arrow in preparation and then turning to rejoin Solas after he’d managed to grab his staff.

She was covered in dirt and singed with ash on her brow and in her red hair, the mark at her hand sparking. She wasn’t sure if she should use the devastating power she wielded with it, especially not when Solas said Davhal’s name.

So..that was who was after them.

But..if that was the case…wasn’t he dead?

"Davhal, if this is you... We can talk!" Solas stuttered.

"We are long over talking, Solas," he answered, his voice ghost-like and layered with a thousand songs. "Talking is your thing, isn't it?! You talk and talk and talk, but when you are required to actually do something, you destroy everything!"

"Please, Davhal, what I did was—"

"Necessary, right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

"... At the time, I thought it was. But I know now that it was wrong, that you deserved so much more than my misled judgement!" Solas begged.

"You should've pulled through. You should've killed me. Then, at least, you would've succeeded with your cruelty!"

The more Solas' eyes grew acustomed to the darkness again, the more he realized that Davhal didn't seem... real. At least not in a physical sense.

His body didn't throw a shadow as the light from the fire on his palm shone right through him, and the Veil behind him rippled ever so slightly. The colours were off and strange, almost dream-like.

Solas glanced at the sparking Anchor in Elliana's hand and leaned in to her, whispering, "This is either a spirit imitating his anger, or his remnant from the memories. Your mark is reacting to it... The Veil is thin here; There must be a rift nearby. Whatever this is... This is not the real Davhal."

The fire in the being's hand enlarged, sparks of ember dancing through the night. A hiss echoed along the Veil, a rumble of wrath illuminated.

“Solas,” she took a moment to very gently cup his face with both her hands. Yes, they were in danger, but he needed to hear this as much as Davhal did.

“Real or not, he is right, his pain is real. And maybe what Davhal or whatever this spirit is need…is an apology. You have regret for your actions. I’ve seen that you do, now he needs to see it.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sincere as she traced is cheekbone with her fingers.

“Sometimes, no matter your intention, admitting that you wronged someone and apologizing is the best way to move forward.”

Then, Elliana stepped back from Solas and turned to face this spirit, fire and rage and all, with her hands held up in surrender.

“Davhal, I see you’re hurting. I’ve seen your pain. I’m so sorry about your father.” Elliana meant it. “But your father raised you to be compassionate, to show mercy just like he did for you when you he found you as a child.”

She took another step closer. If worst came to worse, she could try to close the rift and stop this, but this being, this spirit, whatever he was, was hurting. He needed closure. He reminded her of a more rage-filled Cole.

“Your father knew you were good.” She said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t grow more enraged for mentioning his father like this. But she had to try.

And while he listened to her speak to Davhal — or his memory, or whatever embodied his essence — he knew that his love for Elliana grew even more than he could possibly comprehend.

Her gentleness, her patience, the love and empathy in her beautiful voice... With all of Davhal's memories still encapsulating his heart as though they were his own, and with everything that had come before any of the Merrits existed, he felt like she was speaking to him, as well.

Solas attempted to stop her from approaching Davhal, but his hand only met air. He was absolutely not comfortable with her shielding him from danger and getting closer to the same being who could effortlessly burn down entire camps, but he forced himself to remember all those times she had faced even more dangerous endeavours.

Meanwhile, Davhal listened, twisting the fireball above his hand with impatient movements of his fingers. Eventually, he clenched that hand into a fist, the fire disintegrating into rage-filled sparks.

"You know nothing of my pain! I was trapped in this memory for ages upon ages! One of your clans left me in a cave to die! What would you know about compassion?!"

"Davhal, please!" Solas begged, taking a step closer, desperate for his attention.

"I am sorry," he emphasized. "I am so, so sorry for every single ounce of pain that has been caused to you and your family. I am sorry that you got hurt even more because of my failure—"

"You are only sorry because you thought you were me! Because you feel my hurt!" Davhal shouted back, his voice cracking with both emotion and wrath.

"I do feel your hurt. Every little bit of it... And you want me punished for what I have done. I understand that more than you think—"

"Earl was my family, Solas! MINE! What gives you the right?!"

"Nothing, Davhal. Absolutely nothing does..."

Solas took some steps closer, raising his hands in surrender much like Elliana. He kept his voice low and cautious along with every single one of his movements. Behind Davhal, the tear in the Veil became more evident, its green lights shining through Davhal's being.

"You should have killed me thoroughly, not him..." he sobbed, "Why did you... Why did you have to kill my father?"

Solas swallowed his tears.

"Because he would have done anything to stop me from killing you. Because I couldn't force him to wake from his dream in order to hold him back... I had to make sure that I had enough power left to do... what I had to do... And because I wanted to spare him from watching you, his beloved son, die from the hand of a friend. All of it was for naught. I know that now... If I could, I would prevent all the pain that has been caused."

Then, for a moment, it was peaceful. The fiery heat that radiated from Davhal cooled down, and he knelt from losing his strength. Solas followed, reaching out his hand for him.

"I am sorry," Solas said again, quietly and sincerely. "I am sorry you and Earl were hurt. I am sorry about what happened to Greta. And I am sorry that you were trapped in your grief for so long because I failed... My friend, she is right. Earl would not have wanted for you to be vengeful."

Davhal stared down at his empty hands and shook his head, quietly weeping to himself. He briefly contemplated taking Solas' hand, but refrained from it.

Then, he nodded and said, "You're right... He would not have wanted that for me..."

Suddenly, Davhal pursed his lips and stared into Solas' eyes.

"But he is too dead to wish for anything for me."

It happened before Solas could stop it in time. But whatever — or whoever — suddenly stood between them, could. Davhal summoned a wave of fire, yet before he could let it devour Solas and Elliana whole, he was thrown back by a shockwave of kinetic energy. Davhal's voice echoed as he shouted in despair, thrown against the edges of the rift that had manifested behind him.

Solas' entire view was blocked by a massive hat as he pushed himself back and up again. The figure turned around, his thin and scarily fragile frame forming a silhouette against the rift.

"Inquisitor! Close the rift, and you shall be safe!" yelled none other than Cole, himself.

She kept her hands outstretched, willing her mark to stay calm and not flicker with the Fade’s green energy. She didn’t want to do anything that might scare Davhal or set him off.

“My people are not always the most compassionate. That does not excuse their actions and what they did to you.” She said, though she knew that that wound for Davhal would never fully go away.

“Davhal, you have the opportunity to make things better than what you faced in your life. You have the opportunity to live for yourself and for Earl. Choose the path that he would want for you, please!” She insisted.

Though, she had to stop herself when Solas began to speak. She was proud of him for apologizing to Davhal for everything that happened. It was all she could do, and she was pleased to see that he was learning.

There was even a moment or two where she thought Solas was making real progress with Davhal. She stayed beside him, ready to help if necessary, but this was about the two of them.

However, what happened next was so fast. Cole- there in front of them, insisting she close the rift. And Solas in distress, begging her not to.

She would always choose Solas.

“Cole! We’re pulling him out!” She said, her voice carrying the authority of the Inquisitor.

"If I use magic to pull him out, the Fade's gravitation will tear him apart. We have to try to do it manually!" Solas pleaded and dropped his staff like a heavy weight, storming towards the rift.

"Help me free him! Together!"

"NO!" Davhal cried, his voice echoing with the song of the Fade. He tried to move away from Solas' touch, but couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" he cried.

"Let me help you, Davhal! Please!"

Cole joined beside Solas in an instant. Solas had no idea if grabbing his arms was even possible, but with the Fade torn open and right in front of them, he was hopeful that his expectation to do so was enough to make an impact.

But Davhal needed to want to be helped, as well.

The rift tore at him, dragging him in deeper every second. Davhal growled, fighting its gut-wrenching gravity.

"Everything you touch burns down, Solas!"

"I cannot let the Fade claim you. It will repell you like a foreign body and shred you over and over again! I will not let that happen to you!"

"I don't want your help!"

Cole chimed in.

"Afraid... So afraid. I don't know what the Fade will bring, but I know that he will betray me again. If I am torn to shreds, will my suffering end?"

Davhal stared at him, first confusion, then shock, and then desperation distorting his features.

"You can hear my thoughts?"

"Your emotions," Cole answered. "I can feel them. Fighting, frightened, fierce. I don't want to die, but I cannot take more agony. I am too fragmented to live, but too real to fade away. Let us help you. Let us make you whole again. Another chance at peace."

Davhal lowered his head and started sobbing again. The tears were invisible within his translucent, unreal being, but the ground below him trickled with faint light when they fell.

Before they knew it, Davhal's free arm reached out, his hand grabbing tightly onto Solas'. The moment they touched, Davhal's arm lost its transparency, and instead of a ghostly limb, real skin and bones reflected the lights of the rift.

Solas grasped onto Davhal's real arm instantly, stunned at the sight, but focused nonetheless.

When Davhal finally consented to being helped, she felt a surge of hope that maybe he could be saved. Cole was right in everything that he was saying, scared, alone, exhausted, hurting.

“Come on!” She yelled when Solas told them to pull, so that was exactly what she did. Standing beside Cole and Solas, she pulled as hard as she possibly could.

“You’re alright Davhal,” she said as they managed to slow free him from this Fade prison. “We’re going to get you out!”

And she was right.

After several minutes of hard pulling, Davhal felt like of the Fade and right into Elliana’s arms. She managed to catch him, helping him to lie back on the ground and smoothing his hair from his face.

Elliana had been pulled and fallen from the Fade before. The first time had been alone, the second had been with Dorian and both had been jarring. She knew he was probably overwhelmed.

Every single touch solidified his being more.

The shiny, translucent consistency of his body gave way to real flesh and skin, tanned with patches of paleness. His face gained more features; The birthmark over his right eye took shape, along with his light brown hair as it followed the laws of physics, and his clothes started ripping under the force of his saviours' relentless holds.

Davhal grimaced, feeling their hope and strength pull him back into the world of the waking, but the gravity of the Fade was much the same, if not stronger. He bared his teeth and growled in pain, fighting against the feeling of getting ripped apart by all forces. Every centimeter he moved was anguish; The fright that washed over his whole being was agonizing, but begging to break free, like a scream that had been stuck in his throat for too long and was finally able to break out.

And when Elliana, Cole, and Solas finally pulled him out of the rift, Davhal cried, and bawled, and howled, until he was finally free.

He pushed himself forward and promptly fell as he lost balance, right into Elliana's arms. His back was met with the ground before he could catch a breath. His heart was racing ferociously in his chest and he clutched it, wild eyes staring around in complete sensory overstimulation. The tears that rolled from his eyes were endless.

But they proved that he was alive, and real.

Elliana's warm touch and soothing voice were like... the softest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Still, the feeling of the real world crashing down on his real body was too much to handle at once.

Solas pushed himself up and approached, looking down at him with relief and sympathy.

"Breathe, Davhal. Feel the warmth of her hand on your cheek. The cold air on your skin, the grass pressing against your back. Focus your eyes on Elliana's face," he said calmly, attempting to help ground him. As both him and Elliana already understood what that must feel like, Cole felt no need to verbalize Davhal's emotions.

Davhal tried his best to follow the instructions. Slowly but surely, he grew accustomed to how his body processed his surroundings, and his heavy, shaky breathing eventually calmed down. His eyes got lost in Elliana's stunning blue hues.

Out of breath, he tried to speak, but needed a couple of attempts.

"Y-You are... beautiful..." he croaked.

Solas promptly smiled and said, "Something we agree on after all..."

Davhal was heartbroken, that much was evident. Having to feel everything from his emotions to his body must have been more than a little overwhelming.

“Easy, lethallin. You are alright now.” She said softly, smoothing the hair back from his face with endless amounts of patience.

She wondered what it would mean for him now. He was alive..but where would he go? What would become of him? The Inquisition could offer him a home but..would he even want to go with them?

Elliana blushed when Davhal called her beautiful. She felt windswept and a little overwhelmed, but his words were sweet nonetheless.

“Sweet talker,” she told both Davhal and Solas, shaking her head slightly as she helped him sit up and stabilize. Her fingers caressed the side of Davhal’s cheek. She would give him as much time as he needed to fully adjust to his current position.

“Take it easy when you start to move,” once she was sure he was as good as he could be given the circumstances, Elliana turned to Cole with her brows raised in surprise.

He lowered his head and breathed.

"I was needed here. And I still am," said Cole when Elliana asked how he got here. "I sensed that my friends were in danger."

Solas smiled slightly. When he got closer, Davhal scooted away just a little bit, still understandably wary of him. Solas noticed, and stopped.

“Well,” she made sure that Davhal was stable before moving to stand beside Cole, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m thankful for your arrival. You truly have always shown up at the best times.”

She turned back to Davhal, approaching and crouching down beside him. She observed him as best she could, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him.

Davhal raised his gaze to meet with Elliana's when she joined him again, feeling how heavy his head was compared to his still weak neck. He was exhausted beyond measure, taking deep, tired breaths.

"I... I don't know... I am so tired..." he murmured softly, running his hands through his hair.

"To be made real is one of the most difficult things to go through as a former spiritual being," Solas said empathetically. !I strongly assume you were a memory... but I don't yet know how the Rift helped in giving you a real body. You can feel the world on your skin now. You will feel hungry, tired, exhausted... And I know I have a lot to answer for to deserve your trust, but I am more than willing to help you through this. As is Elliana. And, I am sure, Cole - as a former spirit of Compassion - wants to help you, as well."

Davhal sighed again and shook his head tiredly.

"I... don't know. I feel so... wrong... so misplaced. I wanted to kill you, but..."

He sighed, and stopped talking, the mere weight of his own voice too much to carry.

"It's all gone now," Cole intervened. As so often, he looked into the emotions of those who needed guidance, and painted a picture of them.

"It's all too much. The world, it's scary. I'm not meant for it. Everything feels wrong. Twisted, turned, tortured... What do I do now?"

"Exhaustion has many faces, Davhal," Solas said kindly. "Once you have rested, it will be better."

Davhal stared into the grass, opening his mouth, but nothing came out. Forming words with his body was painful and tiring. Thankfully, Cole was there to speak for him.

"I don't want to be real. I only didn't want the Fade to take me, twist me. I don't want to be angry. It was all for naught. I want... rest. I want to rest how I rested before."

The young elf looked up at Cole with an expression of sorrow, and nodded. Solas frowned slightly.

"If I take you back to the memory, you will return to reliving it over and over again."

"No," Cole said. "He means this."

He approached them, palms combined to hold the jawbone amulet that had been broken in half. Solas first looked down at it, and then at Davhal again.

"You rested inside the pendant, Davhal? Is that true?"

He nodded.

Solas let out a breath of astonishment, the realization shaking his very core.

"You were the key all along... You called for my attention when my scar was torn open. You made the amulet glow with magic. And when I unlocked it earlier, then used it to activate the portal with the statue... You were freed. And all of your anger was let loose after ages of slumber."

Without thinking about it, seeing his fingers move through his hair, she moved to brush her own through his in an attempt to soothe him. She knew he probably didn’t have the words to explain his exhaustion. So when Cole chimed in for him, she felt a surge of respect and relief for their spirit friend.

“Well done, Cole.” She said gently. “Well done.” His compassion and his understanding of Davhal was what they all needed to hear, especially because perhaps he was helping Davhal work out his feelings and how to communicate them in real time.

“You were the one calling..” she said, her hands pausing in Davhal’s hair. It seemed like a lifetime again, when the amulet lit up and this search for answers led them to him. “We heard you. We heard you, and you’re free now.”

Solas reached out in an attempt to help him steady himself, but Davhal flinched away from his hand, holding out his own to show that he was alright. Plus, with Elliana right beside him, Solas was sure that he had more than enough support.

His heart warmed at the sight, feeling glad that she was there to soothe Davhal - and that he accepted it so effortlessly.

Davhal looked upon the amulet with fascination and yearning, gently touching it with his delicate fingers.

"No," he said softly at her question, shaking his head.

"I don't think my anger will ever be fully out of me. It still burns within me... What happened to me, to us, was not fair."

He frowned, and so did Solas.

"But when I look at this, this talisman, I feel... calmer. I never wanted to be free, I just wanted... release."

"Release from the memories you were trapped within?" Solas asked softly. Davhal nodded.

"Can I... go back? Into the amulet? Where I was... weightless?"

Solas paused.

"I don't know if that is possible, now that you are made of flesh and bone," he uttered quietly, approaching him carefully. "I can try, of course. The gravity between your essence and the pendant is still there, and since the memories that were trapped within are released, you should be safe in there. Are you... sure, that you want this?"

Davhal nodded.

Though, she looked somewhat surprised that he wanted to return to the amulet. Blinking several times, she took a couple of steps closer so she could meet his gaze.

“You’re..you’re sure?” But she saw him nod to Solas, and she wanted to respect his wishes. He deserved to make whatever choice would ease his pain the most.

“If that is what you need…then I wish you nothing but the best, Davhal.” She said, taking one of his hands in her own and pressing a little kiss to it before stepping back.

"Thank you, Elliana... I will make sure to remember that," he said softly, eyes quickly drawn back to the pendant. His eyes were fixed on it, never blinking.

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Solas approached some more.

"I will do my very best to help you return into the amulet. But Davhal, if I fail—"

"Then, at least, he will not fall apart like a memory without a place to hold it, because he is real now," Cole interrupted. Astonished, Solas first looked at him, then back at Davhal to see if he approved. With a nod, Davhal made it evident.

"I will live, and... adjust," he said. "I want that, one day... But I am not ready for that yet. I want... I need... calm... And home."

Solas frowned at him.

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Davhal. However, you understandably do not trust me after what I have done to you. I cannot say for certain that you will not be turned or twisted against your nature if you doubt the intentions of my magic. You have gained a body, yes, which strengthens your manifestation in this world, but your core is still spiritual. I don't want to destroy that by having to tap into the Fade and allowing it to influence the rite. I don't want to... destroy you."

She looked to Solas, her gaze almost sad, because she had hoped that he might be able to help Davhal find what he needed to be whole and at least content for a while.

“Do you what you must,” she insisted softly, hoping that he might be able to at least find a compromise that everyone could be pleased with.

"I trust Solas. He is my friend. He wants to help. Always. The Inquisitor Elliana Lavellan trusts him, too."

Solas looked touched by Cole's words, although still unconvinced, unsure where he was going with this.

She moved to stand beside Davhal so she could look him fully in the eyes as she spoke.

“Because, Cole is right. His intentions are good. He never intends to hurt anyone. And deep down, I know all that Solas wants is to help. Sometimes things get lost in translation as many things do. As the Inquisitor, I’m sure many people have doubted the choices I’ve made, even if I thought they were the right ones.”

She didn’t initially register that Davhal had said aloud just how much Elliana adored Solas. She had never even dared to say the word out loud around Solas, for fear of spooking him like a wild animal and sending him running. Hearing Davhal say it out loud…

She blushed, suddenly ducking her head. Her love had been unrequited and stopped by Solas multiple times. She’d taken to keeping it locked away, even if it came out in her actions. So she didn’t add anything to Davhal’s statement, even as kind and sincere as it was.

Before Solas began to return the poor boy to his memories, Elliana reached over and very gently smoothed some hair back from his face.

“You will always have someone looking out for you on this side of the world. I hope in the mean time, you are able to find some peace where you need it, friend.” She said as a way of farewell.

She watched then in silence as Solas returned Davhal to where he belonged, watched in awe as the pendant was once again whole, and realized that he hopefully had the closure and clarity he had spent so long looking for.

And as he cried, Elliana remained silent and still beside him, allowing him to fully process the grief and all that had happened. She couldn’t even begin to fathom it, even as the Inquisitor, nothing she’d ever seen began to rival this.

She offered Cole an approving smile and nod of her head. “Well done,” she said gently to him.

Though, she grew almost shy when Solas approached her like that, taking her hands and looking at her with such sincerity. They’d spent so long dancing around one another that when he reached for her like this she could scarcely believe it was happening.

And then to hear his words…his assurance that all this time, he’d cared for her too, that he’d stayed away because of his own attempt to protect her, her expression softener into something of a laugh and a sweet smile.

“Solas…can you not see?” She had said it only minutes before. “You are worth it all. If you cannot have children, it does not matter. If you live forever, then I wish to spend my mortal life by your side. I’ve chosen you since the moment I’ve met you.” She whispered, her voice quiet, still afraid even now that he might pull away from her.

“Spending a life by your side would not ruin it. It would be a joy. Just because our life won’t be conventional doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fulfilling. It would be ours.” She insisted softly.

She had been gazing up into those timeless eyes of his, wishing she could fully express the depths of her love for him, but Davhal had already done it for her.

“Ar lath ma,” she finally said after a moment’s hesitation. She decided in that moment she would lay it all out, fully. Whatever his answer was, she would live by.

And truly, she wouldn’t have minded one bit.

Though, something seemed to have changed in Solas. Or perhaps evolved was the better word to use, because she could have sworn she could see him growing right before her eyes: allowing himself to fully open up to her in ways she’d never known.

Then…he was holding her, and her heart nearly collapsed in on itself. His touch so strong and gentle, supporting her as she leaned fully into him and looked up at him with wide, shy, devoted blue eyes.

And then, by the gods, his words. Adoring, beautiful, whispered in that captivating Elven tongue, perhaps the first thing she’d ever fallen in love with, the way he spoke. She savored every word he spoke, tears beginning to rise in her eyes. Not of sadness, but an overwhelming sense of joy she felt at knowing he loved her too.

Every touch, then kiss of his lips, she grew more and more dazed with desire and adoration. By the time his lips brushed just next to her mouth, she was looking at him in a way she never had before. And she’d never looked at anyone that way.

Elliana had been kissed before. Elliana had experienced some pleasure before the Inquisition claimed her life, but never, not once in all her life, had anyone made her feel the way Solas did.

She had gently brought his hands up to her lips, kissing the back of them in the sweetest little touch.

To her embarrassment, she almost had completely forgotten Cole was there. But at his assistance that Solas would age with her, that their lives could move forward together, she could have kissed Cole out of Joy and gratitude.

“See, Vhenan?” Elliana whispered, her hands very gently moving to slide up to cup Solas’ face, holding him so gently. “We can be together. We can live a life. Nothing…nothing would bring me more happiness than…than knowing that we could spend it together.” Tears of emotion began to slip down her cheeks.

Just as Solas leaned in and gave her the kind of kiss that was life-changing, putting her destiny on a path perhaps she didn’t even realize the gravity of. All she knew in that moment was him, and she poured every inch of herself into it. Here, awake, in the real world, where the full weight of her love could consume them both.

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.

“Solas..” she couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say that might soothe him. Truly, what could she say to him like this? He was mourning the loss of his father, realizing that all he had ever known was wrong. She moved to knee before him, stroking his back and along his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.

She didn’t say anything for several long moments, instead focusing on being there for him, holding him through all of it, being kind and warm and gentle, that sunshine she had inside her doing her best warm him. She didn’t know what to do or say, perhaps there wasn’t anything she could.

“Your..your memories are intertwined with Davhal’s..” it was all she could offer. “Perhaps at the time you thought you were doing the right thing..”

"And after all this, you are still... here... with me..." he croaked, his voice hoarse from having screamed his life out before.

He kept his eyes closed. With how red and swollen they were now, there was no point in trying to see the world around him. He could feel that Elliana was right there, holding him, warming him, keeping him sane with the softness of her voice.

That was more than he deserved. More than he could have asked.

"I realize that there are many things that require an explanation," he whispered softly, "... and you deserve to hear them all." Solas leaned back and just gazed at her for a while. He unintentionally smudged some dirt onto her face as he cupped her cheek and immediately tried to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then, he took her hands and pulled Elliana up with him when he got up again, although he still needed to steady himself on the statue for a moment.

He seemed to have dissociated from his body to make the pain more bearable. His face was tired, bleak, exhausted, void of life.

She blinked once when he said so softly that she was there with him. Her gaze softened and without thinking about it, she too brushed her fingers across his face in a gesture of tenderness.

“There is no one where in all of Thedas that I would rather be,” and she left it at that. Because truly, there wasn’t.

When he brushed his fingers over her face, she leaned more fully into him, looking up at him with that expression of devotion.

When he stood, pulling her with him, she nodded after a moment and simply held his hands. That curious nature of hers was desperate to know more about what she’d seen, but one step at a time. She wasn’t going to push.

“Let’s go,” she agreed, keeping her hands in his to steady him a bit as they started the short walk back to camp. She was grateful it was nearby, she planned to get Solas into a chair by the fire so he could process everything.

There would be a lot of time to cry. A lot of time for him to mourn. She intended to stay with him through it. It took less than five minutes to walk to camp, and once they were there, she made a point to help him sit in one of the nearby chairs by the fireplace.

"Forgive me, I... I am trying to process..." he whispered.

"All this time, I carried Davhal's memories as though they were my own. And I still do... They are all still there. I didn't just kill him, I... I took his life and lived it. And Earl, and Greta..."

Solas took a very deep breath to contain another wave of cruel emotions.

“There is nothing to forgive. Take your time. If it’s an hour or a month, you need to feel this fully. To understand it all.” It was the only way; through. No matter how overwhelmed he was.

“Solas, I don’t know all that has happened in your past.” It was obvious he was keeping things hidden from her, so she didn’t know who he was before…now. “But I know who you are now. You lived with those memories because you genuinely believed they were your own. You didn’t lie, you didn’t deceive, you truly believe them.”

She was saddened to hear there was more he was keeping from her, but, for now it wasn’t her place to push him about it.

"Thank you..." he whispered and breathed again to brace himself.

He had no idea where the hell to start.

"... It is true that the Merritts lived hundreds of years ago."

Solas paused and swallowed. His heart ached with how difficult this was going to be.

"And it is also true that I was in contact with Earl and Davhal through their dreams at the time. Until today, I... I believed that I was left on their doorstep fourty-two years ago. And it made sense because I was sure that I was... reborn."

Solas breathed, swallowed once more, and finally raised his face to look at her. His grey eyes turned violet again as they met with hers - deep, and true, and honest.

"But I was not reborn. I was always me... for a long, long time. I laid in dark and dreaming sleep as countless wars and ages passed. My Uthenera began as the great empire of the elves collapsed... And it ended merely a year before we met."

His chest quivered with both relief and despair as he said it out loud, and his purple eyes welled up with tears again.

She forced her racing, fluttering heart to quiet so she could be of best comfort to him. This was not about her, it was about him.

When he lifted his gaze to hers again and she saw those gorgeous, striking purple eyes, she had to bite back a squeak of surprise. She remembered what had happened the last time she’d seen those eyes, and her heart had been broken. So she stayed quiet and merely listened to him.

Though, when the reality and the gravity of what he was saying his her, her expression went blank. As if she’d fallen into one of the frozen ponds her clan would camp beside, leaving her shocked and still.

Hearing Solas say he was an Ancient…it..somehow made sense. Because of all he knew, because of his wisdom and his gifts. And yet..Elliana found it so hard to believe at the same time.

“H-how? You…you were asleep? What…why were you..?” She could barely form the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb all he’d said. Though, despite her shock, she never pulled away from him, her hands stayed gripping his own.

The fact that she never once let go of his hands strengthened his soul and helped him recover from the initial despair. It was hard to tell the truth, but that was the very thing he was made for. In reality, Solas had been more scared of her reaction than anything else.

But Elliana was not upset, or angry, or punishing him for disappointing any expectations. She still held him, and listened. The relief was nothing short of liberating.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little in the end.

"I assure you, I don't know everything," he said softly.

"I witnessed mere echoes of history in the Fade. I learned the languages as they developed, how magic changed through the ages, how the elves were enslaved and are now still suppressed all over Thedas... I woke up alone, deep within Arlathan Forest."

He looked at her again, a deep frown carving valleys into his forehead.

“Appalled? No.” She regained enough composure to very gently squeeze his hands with her own. Another soothing and gentle gesture. “But..amazed? Confused? A little concerned for your well-being, absolutely.” She offered a crooked smile.

“But…you were alone. Lost in time. I…you must have been frightened.” She couldn’t imagine having your entire world turned upside down like that and waking in a different time.

“No wonder you think Sera is annoying. Though in truth, she can be a little much..” she admitted softly. But, it made sense suddenly. So many little things about Solas that she’d observed for so long, now she saw it for what it was.

“So…if you’re an Ancient…what does that make you now, Solas? You…must have felt so alone when you woke.” She lifted one hand to cradle the wide or his face. On top of thinking he’d been reborn, to lose the thought of Earl and his past and now realizing he’d slept for a millennia…

"I was frightened, I admit. It took a whole day until I remembered. Until then, I wandered through Arlathan like a lost lion cub."

The mention of Sera got another gentle smile out of him.

"Sera is... the result of what had happened to the elves, among other things. Of course, she frustrates me. As does Varric. They are both the farthest from their heritage as they could possibly be, but given their histories, I should be more patient. They should not have to deal with my... adjustment issues. Unless Sera fills my bedroll with lizards again. That was... uncomfortable."

Solas did not like thinking back on that night. He had woken up the entire camp by screaming his lungs out, cursing elven profanities, and throwing these poor lizards around in a desperate attempt to get rid of them.

Not that he minded lizards at all. But feeling not only one, but several little things squirming somewhere inside his bedroll was... quite unsettling.

The memory slid out of his head once he felt the warmth of Elliana's hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Elvhenan fell about four millennia ago. The elves lived slowly, never truly paying attention to how time passed. I am not sure what exactly that makes me... Although, what I do know is this: The majority of my life was spent in Uthenera."

Opening his eyes again, Solas looked into hers.

“I won’t let that happen again.” She grumbled, still somewhat frustrated by the way that she had done that, and had proceeded to prank others in their group as well. Sera was…unique to say the least.

When Solas leaned into her hand, she cupped him further and just savored the feeling of his warm, his smile, anything that made him feel just a little bit more..normal, after everything that he had been through.

“What…is Uthenera?” The word was somehow unfamiliar to her, even though she’d made it a point to try and know her culture and history as much as the Dalish possibly could. Again, the idea that there was so much between them..years..she wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Someone so young, so new.

Filling in the blanks was healing for him, in a way, even though Solas knew that he would have to pick up the topic of the Merritts again. After coming with him all this way to find the truth, and staying with him through it, he wanted to be as honest to her as he could be.

He not only owed it to her as the Inquisitor, but as her friend.

Solas nodded, and continued.

"About twenty years before the Fourth Blight began, I sensed traces of very ancient elven magic in the Fade. When I followed it, I found a prophecy. 'The Huntress shall awake and give birth into the waking with fire and taint.' Hundreds of years ago, the Dalish of Northern Thedas focused a lot of their research on prophecies like these, writing interpretations and painting murals. Over the generations, they formed the belief that Andruil, the Huntress, would be reborn, and this child would be marked by 'fire and taint'."

"And then, some day during the Black Age, a Dalish clan gave birth to a little boy: He had a large, fiery birthmark across the right side of his face, and the eye on that same side was entirely blackened. The rest of his body had patches of malpigmentation. Fire and taint. His healthy eye was violet, which was believed to inherit the spirit of an ancient elf... That was Davhal. They immediately connected him with the prophecy. And since birthmarks are rarely associated with luck and good fortune, they abandoned the boy in a cave to die."

He paused to take a deep breath.

It suddenly hit her harder that Solas was not mortal. He was an immortal ancient, having lived eons, many lives, and had only now just rejoined. She felt so…so insignificant compared to him. No wonder he’d seemed so uncertain and guarded when they’d first met. He’d woken in an alien world. The elves who were here now were not his people.

She lowered her hand from his face to his heart. A heart that had lived and loved so much longer than her.

“Mythal enaste…” she whispered. “This heart…has beat through time.”

She listened as he spoke of the prophecy, of Davhal, of the Dalish. She knew her people were superstitious, even brutal, but hearing that Davhal’s mother had risked and lost her life defending him..she shook her head and sighed.

“His poor mother.” She shook her head again. “Earl was even more rare than I realized, if he lived through the Black Age. The humans were..so cruel.” She often liked to give the benefit of the doubt but even she knew the brutality of it all back then.

Still, there was hesitation in it. Never had he needed her touch more than tonight, but it was too easy to lose himself in her like that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him for eternity. Slowly, he lowered their hands from his chest, but he kept their fingers intwined.

"From what I was able to sense, yes. Long before the gods disappeared, Andruil left a piece of her essence wandering the waking world. Over the centuries, this essence was too weak to plant itself within the life of another. I don't want to claim that a mere birthmark is an indicator of doom, however... Davhal was a Dreamer, like me. Perhaps, his closer connection to the Fade made it possible for Andruil's essence to manifest within him."

Solas looked down upon their joined hands, continuously caressing her fingers with his thumb. Gods, how good it felt to have her this close in spite of all the reasons not to let that happen...

"I found Earl's dreams in an attempt to offer my assistance. He needed to know that this child had the potential of causing significant damage to the world... You see, prophecies were never meant to be taken as promises. If anything, they were warnings. I theorized that if Davhal were to be raised with the amount of love he really needed, any influence coming from Andruil's essence would weaken. If the warning of the prophecy was serious, we could have stopped it from coming to pass by guiding him in the right direction. If the prophecy was simply misinterpreted or untrue, an abandoned boy would simply have a family. In my mind, there was no harm in that... and Earl agreed eventually."

"It was truly fate that Davhal's mother chose their house. I assume you know what would have happened to him, had he been left a few houses down the street..."

Solas touched the scar on his forehead as it tingled softly. It had already fully healed ever since it tore open the other night, and he let out a deep sigh thinking of how this scar really came to be.

"As you can imagine, growing up as a lone elf in a human village was hard. He was very alone. Even though Earl gave him love, guidance, and acceptance, Davhal had a very difficult time as a boy. The violence he was faced with was... despicable. No amount of love could make that better, but I still had hope. Davhal grew older, stronger, and eventually became a rebellious teenager."

He smiled a little at that notion, but it vanished.

"If only it was as consequential as with any other boy his age... Andruil's essence was strengthened by his struggles. Earl begged me to help because he was starting to lose faith, thus I started to visit the boy in his dreams, and for a while, it seemed that my guidance helped him feel better. I showed him how to control his magic, what a Dreamer was able to do and how much wisdom it offered. He was, truly, a remarkable young man. He was kind to others despite the hatred that came his way. He grew into the philosopher that Earl always was, so bright and full of hope. Unfortunately, even my guidance was not enough. Or, perhaps, my presence in his dreams even caused what came next."

Solas sighed heavily and paused for a moment.

So when his fingers intertwined with hers and he lowered their hands but kept up the constant soothing touch, she did her best to focus on his face, on his words. And she did— Davhal’s story and all Solas had learned was fascinating and tragic. Her curiosity fluttered, growing stronger with every word he said.

But, that didn’t stop her from leaning in just slightly, so their foreheads were touching once again, while her thumb brushed against the pulse point of his wrist, savoring his closeness.

“It sounds like…Dahval did learn. From Earl, from you. Was..Davhal’s outburst of anger and Blight…was it fully intentional?” She wondered if, as a teenager, he’d simply lost control of his power and accidentally hurt Greta.

“You did your best, Lethallin. You wanted to help, to give him a chance after all his mother had sacrificed and all that you knew. I don’t think you can blame yourself for what happened with Greta and Dahval.” She said sincerely, squeezing his hand and letter her index finger trace the inside of his wrist.

“I think…I think that even if it was not what you expected, you still learned and you felt and you grew. Humans will never be entirely cruel again, because you knew Earl. Even if it was through dreams. You saw true love and kindness.”

She was quiet for a moment. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask a million questions, but she wondered if it would be too much after what he’d seen. To try and make him smile, perhaps ease some of his pain, she offered that radiant, glowing smile of hers and met his gaze.

Her innocence. Her happiness.

He sighed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that Elliana knew what she was getting herself into.

"His outburst, maybe. To have Andruil's spark blight her? I highly doubt that. There was definite resentment between them for a number of reasons, some more justified than others. But Davhal was shocked when it happened and he tried to help her before Earl shut him out completely. Davhal lost himself in a very dark place and not even I could help him out of it. Regret is a very haunting feeling... I realized that Andruil's essence manifested further, growing, strengthening... Earl and I were powerless to stop it."

"After Greta passed, Davhal ran away a couple of times. He would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, straying away from his purpose. He even learned how to block my view from him through the Veil, which wasn't too difficult, considering how weakened I was from my involuntary slumber... But I knew that if Andruil's essence took over, it could be the beginning of another Blight. It had to be stopped. He... had to be stopped."

"I waited for the next time he would come home. It took years for me to gather enough of my power... I visited Earl's dream after years of no contact and tried to tell him that there was nothing left that we could do. I wanted to give him a chance to have a say in his fate. In the memories, you have heard me offer to make Davhal Tranquil instead, so Earl would keep his son... He would have none of it, but I cannot possibly blame him. That I even considered it... disgusts me..."

He took a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her hand in his. Solas could feel his emotions rising up again.

"I wanted so desperately to help him grow, to stop Andruil's Blight. but it was all for naught... I knew Earl would do anything in his power to stop me from hurting him... And so I realized I had to kill them both through their dreams. But it did not work in the world's favour... Just a year after their deaths, the Fourth Blight broke out regardless of our efforts. All this pain, this suffering... It was for nothing. Killing them was the last thing I ever did before I awoke. My slumber was completely void of dreams because I used all my remaining power. Perhaps, too much of it was wasted when I ended Earl's life, first. Perhaps, murdering Davhal only set the Blight free in the first place. Perhaps, I couldn't kill him at all..."

His eyes watered again and Solas made a point to swallow them back down immediately. He did not deserve to feel this way after all that he had done, and the shame of it threatened to devour him whole. His knee began rocking up and down due to his nerves catching fire, but he didn't notice.

"You shouldn't be so kind to me, my love..."

Solas kissed her hands softly, over and over, almost losing himself in it.

She listened in silence as he continued his story. Even though their foreheads were touching, she made a point to try to meet his gaze, so that he knew she was listening, and that she wasn’t afraid of what she was hearing. Being honest like this, bearing his soul in a way, she knew he needed to feel safe to do so.

“Solas…you couldn’t have known for certain what was happening. You…may be ancient. And wise. But that doesn’t mean that you can foresee every outcome. You tried. You tried to help Dahval find his way. You tried to help Earl guide him. There is..only so much one person can do.”

“Perhaps..this is a lesson. A lesson to remember that as much as you want to change things, there is a limit to what we can do. You tried, Solas. You wanted to help. And now…now you must learn from what happened. And I think you have.” She gave him an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

As Solas began to stew in his regret, letting his emotions overtake him as he thought of killing Earl and Dahval, she didn’t think, she simply brought herself closer to him so she could try to comfort him.

“Solas—“ she started to say, intent on finding something that might bring him some comfort or ease his pain, only to freeze.

He…he’d called her his love.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Her heart leapt for joy in her chest, but there was still a cautious part of her, a part of her that thought she was too young, too different from him, that he’d pull away from her again.

And yet…

“And yet, I’m still here.” Emotion rose in her throat, making her own eyes tear up just a little bit. She watched as he kissed her skin, leaving her shivering with delight.

As she did when they’d dreamed together in the Fade, she tilted his chin very gently so he would face her, look into her eyes, perhaps see all the love that had been there for so long. Just for him.

Solas wanted nothing more than to believe her.

That there was a limit to what one person could do.

That he could learn from this and move on.

But his regrets felt so... impossible to overcome. He had the power to change things. He had the means to achieve what must be achieved. And yet, he failed, over and over and over again. The consequences of his failures were too great to make undone or move on from. His wisdom was not enough. He was not enough. Mythal had taught him that.

And so, Solas would try anew, instead.

With Davhal, he failed to keep him from the Blight's grasp, so he provoked his rebirth to have a clean slate for the next attempt – until it was enough to save the world, and Davhal's reborn soul, from Andruil.

As with a failed stroke of his brush on his paintings, Solas would cover up the mistake, try again, and perfect it – until it was good enough.

Solas shook his head faintly, the deepest of sighs escaping his body. This pain, this familiar agony, was almost blissful to drown in. The evidence that he was good enough in Elliana's eyes in spite of the mistakes she knew about...

It was refreshing, and healing, but also scary, and haunting.

To break free from his past, move on from his mistakes, and just have her?

Could she be his last chance to try everything anew? Could she be his clean slate?

When her voice broke, Solas stopped kissing her hands but kept them close within his own, and looked at her with a deep frown. His eyes filled with sadness over causing this wave of sorrow for her as one of his hands broke free to cup her cheek.

"Don't cry..." he whispered softly. His hand wandered down to her neck before Solas leaned in to plant the softest of kisses on her now vacant cheek. He made it last, feeling it impossible to keep his lips away from her warmth. His lungs quivered with delight and comfort, his heart feeling heavy and light in his chest as it raced.

That was when the horses started grumbling and growling, tugging at their ties and kicking the air.

Solas promptly removed his lips from Elliana's cheek and stared at them as he held his breath. As much as he hated this disturbance... he knew that only the foolish choose to ignore it when their horses get nervous out of nowhere.

"Something's wrong. We are not alone," he whispered and glanced around. His eyes fixed on something behind Elliana, right next to the fire.

He froze, immediately.

"H-How..."

Regrettably, he got up from his chair and approached the fire, picking up whatever he had spotted next to it.

It was a bouquet of violet and yellow flowers – cornflowers and primroses, just like the ones on Earl's grave – tied together by the very leather strap of Solas' necklace. The bone of the wolf's jaw was broken in half.

"That was not here before. I left the pendant with the statue! How did it--"

He heard it before he saw it, but he saw it in time.

Solas lunged forward and grasped Elliana's hand to drag her away with force, almost yanking her arm out in the process; He pulled her in front of him to shield her when a blazing fire crashed right through his tent and grazed his back, letting him cry out in pain. The campfire reacted with an outburst of energy powerful enough to send them to the dirty ground.

His entire body laid atop hers like layers of armor, her head deeply hidden within his protective embrace. Solas' tent caught fire within two heartbeats and burned like Andraste's pyre. The horses went crazy, trying desperately to free themselves from their ties.

Once Solas was certain that they were safe, he pulled back slightly and stared down at Elliana with terror in his eyes. The pain on his back was completely forgotten at the sight of her.

She loved him. Just as he was. She loved him as just Solas. She loved him as an ancient. And she loved him even if his actions and choices hadn’t been the right solution. She didn’t need perfection…she wanted him.

This was his choice now. She had laid everything she could out on the table for himself and she could also tell that at some point, someone or something had made Solas believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be perfect, that things had to align in some unattainable way…

Perhaps it was because he was an Ancient. Immortal, potentially. Maybe he had shaped worlds and lives for so long he didn’t know how to let go and live his own. More than likely, his regret was festering and burning him. And he wasn’t ready to let it go.

And if he couldn’t let it go, then he would never choose her.

Somehow that made it so much harder for Elliana, the more she thought about it. Tears sprang to her eyes when he told her not to cry, an automatic reaction. She didn’t speak, simply stayed silent as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And by the gods, just a kiss on her cheek and his hand on the back of her neck…it was enough to set her soul aflame.

That was, until he suddenly pulled back. She too heard the horses begin to grow restless, and as someone who has grown up being attuned to nature it made her instantly pay attention to their surroundings.

When she saw the flowers, her eyes narrowed and she frowned in confusion.

“That doesn’t make sense. We saw that in those memories it was you who were manipulating things..and if you didn’t do that-“ she started to ask who would be following them now, when it all happened so quickly.

It was not the first time she’d survived an explosion since she want to the Chantry, but it certainly wasn’t easier. The wind had been knocked out of her when Solas had tackled her to the ground. She was gasping to suck air back into her lungs, her eyes a bit foggy with the force of them hitting the ground, but for the most part, she was fine.

“Solas!” She didn’t even have time to answer his question, she reached for his back in a panic. “Vhenan!” She tried to wiggle out from under him so she could see any damage the fire might have caused.

"I'm okay!" he forced out, relieved that she seemed to be uninjured. Solas allowed her to get out from under him, although he made sure to keep her close. He cupped her cheek to make her focus on him.

"Go free the horses, quickly! They will return once everything is safe. Then get your weapon. I'll handle this!"

He forced himself up, feeling the heat of the fire reach for his face. With a swift but strong movement of his arm, a shockwave of winter threw itself onto the tent and extinguished the fire. Solas wasted no time and rummaged through the burnt ruins to retrieve his staff. It was damaged, but still usable.

Another fireball shot through the darkness of the night. Solas spotted it in time and blocked it with a wall of ice. It shattered and enclosed him in a brief storm of winds that disappeared quickly, and he had to protect his face from the icy crystals.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he shouted into the distance.

"I don't answer to you, Solas. Not anymore," a male voice growled back. Deep and full of rage. Inhuman.

In the dark, another fireball formed itself, dancing upon the palm of a hand. It reflected against fabric, a face, a pointy ear, and yet, it didn't; The being seemed almost translucent, dancing along the edges of the Veil.

The left eye glowed purple. The other... did not.

“We have to get you something for your back.” She hated that she wasn’t a mage, unable to heal him at a whim. Instead, she could only provide what aid the Dalish had taught her growing up. None of which would be helpful if they were currently under attack.

She whipped her head to the terrified horses, nodding as she stood suddenly and made her way back to them. Wrenching the two daggers she always kept at her hips free, she sliced through both of their rope bonds, sending them bolting into the forest and away from danger.

She pulled her father’s bow from her pack nearby, setting an arrow in preparation and then turning to rejoin Solas after he’d managed to grab his staff.

She was covered in dirt and singed with ash on her brow and in her red hair, the mark at her hand sparking. She wasn’t sure if she should use the devastating power she wielded with it, especially not when Solas said Davhal’s name.

So..that was who was after them.

But..if that was the case…wasn’t he dead?

"Davhal, if this is you... We can talk!" Solas stuttered.

"We are long over talking, Solas," he answered, his voice ghost-like and layered with a thousand songs. "Talking is your thing, isn't it?! You talk and talk and talk, but when you are required to actually do something, you destroy everything!"

"Please, Davhal, what I did was—"

"Necessary, right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

"... At the time, I thought it was. But I know now that it was wrong, that you deserved so much more than my misled judgement!" Solas begged.

"You should've pulled through. You should've killed me. Then, at least, you would've succeeded with your cruelty!"

The more Solas' eyes grew acustomed to the darkness again, the more he realized that Davhal didn't seem... real. At least not in a physical sense.

His body didn't throw a shadow as the light from the fire on his palm shone right through him, and the Veil behind him rippled ever so slightly. The colours were off and strange, almost dream-like.

Solas glanced at the sparking Anchor in Elliana's hand and leaned in to her, whispering, "This is either a spirit imitating his anger, or his remnant from the memories. Your mark is reacting to it... The Veil is thin here; There must be a rift nearby. Whatever this is... This is not the real Davhal."

The fire in the being's hand enlarged, sparks of ember dancing through the night. A hiss echoed along the Veil, a rumble of wrath illuminated.

“Solas,” she took a moment to very gently cup his face with both her hands. Yes, they were in danger, but he needed to hear this as much as Davhal did.

“Real or not, he is right, his pain is real. And maybe what Davhal or whatever this spirit is need…is an apology. You have regret for your actions. I’ve seen that you do, now he needs to see it.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sincere as she traced is cheekbone with her fingers.

“Sometimes, no matter your intention, admitting that you wronged someone and apologizing is the best way to move forward.”

Then, Elliana stepped back from Solas and turned to face this spirit, fire and rage and all, with her hands held up in surrender.

“Davhal, I see you’re hurting. I’ve seen your pain. I’m so sorry about your father.” Elliana meant it. “But your father raised you to be compassionate, to show mercy just like he did for you when you he found you as a child.”

She took another step closer. If worst came to worse, she could try to close the rift and stop this, but this being, this spirit, whatever he was, was hurting. He needed closure. He reminded her of a more rage-filled Cole.

“Your father knew you were good.” She said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t grow more enraged for mentioning his father like this. But she had to try.

And while he listened to her speak to Davhal — or his memory, or whatever embodied his essence — he knew that his love for Elliana grew even more than he could possibly comprehend.

Her gentleness, her patience, the love and empathy in her beautiful voice... With all of Davhal's memories still encapsulating his heart as though they were his own, and with everything that had come before any of the Merrits existed, he felt like she was speaking to him, as well.

Solas attempted to stop her from approaching Davhal, but his hand only met air. He was absolutely not comfortable with her shielding him from danger and getting closer to the same being who could effortlessly burn down entire camps, but he forced himself to remember all those times she had faced even more dangerous endeavours.

Meanwhile, Davhal listened, twisting the fireball above his hand with impatient movements of his fingers. Eventually, he clenched that hand into a fist, the fire disintegrating into rage-filled sparks.

"You know nothing of my pain! I was trapped in this memory for ages upon ages! One of your clans left me in a cave to die! What would you know about compassion?!"

"Davhal, please!" Solas begged, taking a step closer, desperate for his attention.

"I am sorry," he emphasized. "I am so, so sorry for every single ounce of pain that has been caused to you and your family. I am sorry that you got hurt even more because of my failure—"

"You are only sorry because you thought you were me! Because you feel my hurt!" Davhal shouted back, his voice cracking with both emotion and wrath.

"I do feel your hurt. Every little bit of it... And you want me punished for what I have done. I understand that more than you think—"

"Earl was my family, Solas! MINE! What gives you the right?!"

"Nothing, Davhal. Absolutely nothing does..."

Solas took some steps closer, raising his hands in surrender much like Elliana. He kept his voice low and cautious along with every single one of his movements. Behind Davhal, the tear in the Veil became more evident, its green lights shining through Davhal's being.

"You should have killed me thoroughly, not him..." he sobbed, "Why did you... Why did you have to kill my father?"

Solas swallowed his tears.

"Because he would have done anything to stop me from killing you. Because I couldn't force him to wake from his dream in order to hold him back... I had to make sure that I had enough power left to do... what I had to do... And because I wanted to spare him from watching you, his beloved son, die from the hand of a friend. All of it was for naught. I know that now... If I could, I would prevent all the pain that has been caused."

Then, for a moment, it was peaceful. The fiery heat that radiated from Davhal cooled down, and he knelt from losing his strength. Solas followed, reaching out his hand for him.

"I am sorry," Solas said again, quietly and sincerely. "I am sorry you and Earl were hurt. I am sorry about what happened to Greta. And I am sorry that you were trapped in your grief for so long because I failed... My friend, she is right. Earl would not have wanted for you to be vengeful."

Davhal stared down at his empty hands and shook his head, quietly weeping to himself. He briefly contemplated taking Solas' hand, but refrained from it.

Then, he nodded and said, "You're right... He would not have wanted that for me..."

Suddenly, Davhal pursed his lips and stared into Solas' eyes.

"But he is too dead to wish for anything for me."

It happened before Solas could stop it in time. But whatever — or whoever — suddenly stood between them, could. Davhal summoned a wave of fire, yet before he could let it devour Solas and Elliana whole, he was thrown back by a shockwave of kinetic energy. Davhal's voice echoed as he shouted in despair, thrown against the edges of the rift that had manifested behind him.

Solas' entire view was blocked by a massive hat as he pushed himself back and up again. The figure turned around, his thin and scarily fragile frame forming a silhouette against the rift.

"Inquisitor! Close the rift, and you shall be safe!" yelled none other than Cole, himself.

She kept her hands outstretched, willing her mark to stay calm and not flicker with the Fade’s green energy. She didn’t want to do anything that might scare Davhal or set him off.

“My people are not always the most compassionate. That does not excuse their actions and what they did to you.” She said, though she knew that that wound for Davhal would never fully go away.

“Davhal, you have the opportunity to make things better than what you faced in your life. You have the opportunity to live for yourself and for Earl. Choose the path that he would want for you, please!” She insisted.

Though, she had to stop herself when Solas began to speak. She was proud of him for apologizing to Davhal for everything that happened. It was all she could do, and she was pleased to see that he was learning.

There was even a moment or two where she thought Solas was making real progress with Davhal. She stayed beside him, ready to help if necessary, but this was about the two of them.

However, what happened next was so fast. Cole- there in front of them, insisting she close the rift. And Solas in distress, begging her not to.

She would always choose Solas.

“Cole! We’re pulling him out!” She said, her voice carrying the authority of the Inquisitor.

"If I use magic to pull him out, the Fade's gravitation will tear him apart. We have to try to do it manually!" Solas pleaded and dropped his staff like a heavy weight, storming towards the rift.

"Help me free him! Together!"

"NO!" Davhal cried, his voice echoing with the song of the Fade. He tried to move away from Solas' touch, but couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" he cried.

"Let me help you, Davhal! Please!"

Cole joined beside Solas in an instant. Solas had no idea if grabbing his arms was even possible, but with the Fade torn open and right in front of them, he was hopeful that his expectation to do so was enough to make an impact.

But Davhal needed to want to be helped, as well.

The rift tore at him, dragging him in deeper every second. Davhal growled, fighting its gut-wrenching gravity.

"Everything you touch burns down, Solas!"

"I cannot let the Fade claim you. It will repell you like a foreign body and shred you over and over again! I will not let that happen to you!"

"I don't want your help!"

Cole chimed in.

"Afraid... So afraid. I don't know what the Fade will bring, but I know that he will betray me again. If I am torn to shreds, will my suffering end?"

Davhal stared at him, first confusion, then shock, and then desperation distorting his features.

"You can hear my thoughts?"

"Your emotions," Cole answered. "I can feel them. Fighting, frightened, fierce. I don't want to die, but I cannot take more agony. I am too fragmented to live, but too real to fade away. Let us help you. Let us make you whole again. Another chance at peace."

Davhal lowered his head and started sobbing again. The tears were invisible within his translucent, unreal being, but the ground below him trickled with faint light when they fell.

Before they knew it, Davhal's free arm reached out, his hand grabbing tightly onto Solas'. The moment they touched, Davhal's arm lost its transparency, and instead of a ghostly limb, real skin and bones reflected the lights of the rift.

Solas grasped onto Davhal's real arm instantly, stunned at the sight, but focused nonetheless.

When Davhal finally consented to being helped, she felt a surge of hope that maybe he could be saved. Cole was right in everything that he was saying, scared, alone, exhausted, hurting.

“Come on!” She yelled when Solas told them to pull, so that was exactly what she did. Standing beside Cole and Solas, she pulled as hard as she possibly could.

“You’re alright Davhal,” she said as they managed to slow free him from this Fade prison. “We’re going to get you out!”

And she was right.

After several minutes of hard pulling, Davhal felt like of the Fade and right into Elliana’s arms. She managed to catch him, helping him to lie back on the ground and smoothing his hair from his face.

Elliana had been pulled and fallen from the Fade before. The first time had been alone, the second had been with Dorian and both had been jarring. She knew he was probably overwhelmed.

Every single touch solidified his being more.

The shiny, translucent consistency of his body gave way to real flesh and skin, tanned with patches of paleness. His face gained more features; The birthmark over his right eye took shape, along with his light brown hair as it followed the laws of physics, and his clothes started ripping under the force of his saviours' relentless holds.

Davhal grimaced, feeling their hope and strength pull him back into the world of the waking, but the gravity of the Fade was much the same, if not stronger. He bared his teeth and growled in pain, fighting against the feeling of getting ripped apart by all forces. Every centimeter he moved was anguish; The fright that washed over his whole being was agonizing, but begging to break free, like a scream that had been stuck in his throat for too long and was finally able to break out.

And when Elliana, Cole, and Solas finally pulled him out of the rift, Davhal cried, and bawled, and howled, until he was finally free.

He pushed himself forward and promptly fell as he lost balance, right into Elliana's arms. His back was met with the ground before he could catch a breath. His heart was racing ferociously in his chest and he clutched it, wild eyes staring around in complete sensory overstimulation. The tears that rolled from his eyes were endless.

But they proved that he was alive, and real.

Elliana's warm touch and soothing voice were like... the softest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Still, the feeling of the real world crashing down on his real body was too much to handle at once.

Solas pushed himself up and approached, looking down at him with relief and sympathy.

"Breathe, Davhal. Feel the warmth of her hand on your cheek. The cold air on your skin, the grass pressing against your back. Focus your eyes on Elliana's face," he said calmly, attempting to help ground him. As both him and Elliana already understood what that must feel like, Cole felt no need to verbalize Davhal's emotions.

Davhal tried his best to follow the instructions. Slowly but surely, he grew accustomed to how his body processed his surroundings, and his heavy, shaky breathing eventually calmed down. His eyes got lost in Elliana's stunning blue hues.

Out of breath, he tried to speak, but needed a couple of attempts.

"Y-You are... beautiful..." he croaked.

Solas promptly smiled and said, "Something we agree on after all..."

Davhal was heartbroken, that much was evident. Having to feel everything from his emotions to his body must have been more than a little overwhelming.

“Easy, lethallin. You are alright now.” She said softly, smoothing the hair back from his face with endless amounts of patience.

She wondered what it would mean for him now. He was alive..but where would he go? What would become of him? The Inquisition could offer him a home but..would he even want to go with them?

Elliana blushed when Davhal called her beautiful. She felt windswept and a little overwhelmed, but his words were sweet nonetheless.

“Sweet talker,” she told both Davhal and Solas, shaking her head slightly as she helped him sit up and stabilize. Her fingers caressed the side of Davhal’s cheek. She would give him as much time as he needed to fully adjust to his current position.

“Take it easy when you start to move,” once she was sure he was as good as he could be given the circumstances, Elliana turned to Cole with her brows raised in surprise.

He lowered his head and breathed.

"I was needed here. And I still am," said Cole when Elliana asked how he got here. "I sensed that my friends were in danger."

Solas smiled slightly. When he got closer, Davhal scooted away just a little bit, still understandably wary of him. Solas noticed, and stopped.

“Well,” she made sure that Davhal was stable before moving to stand beside Cole, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m thankful for your arrival. You truly have always shown up at the best times.”

She turned back to Davhal, approaching and crouching down beside him. She observed him as best she could, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him.

Davhal raised his gaze to meet with Elliana's when she joined him again, feeling how heavy his head was compared to his still weak neck. He was exhausted beyond measure, taking deep, tired breaths.

"I... I don't know... I am so tired..." he murmured softly, running his hands through his hair.

"To be made real is one of the most difficult things to go through as a former spiritual being," Solas said empathetically. !I strongly assume you were a memory... but I don't yet know how the Rift helped in giving you a real body. You can feel the world on your skin now. You will feel hungry, tired, exhausted... And I know I have a lot to answer for to deserve your trust, but I am more than willing to help you through this. As is Elliana. And, I am sure, Cole - as a former spirit of Compassion - wants to help you, as well."

Davhal sighed again and shook his head tiredly.

"I... don't know. I feel so... wrong... so misplaced. I wanted to kill you, but..."

He sighed, and stopped talking, the mere weight of his own voice too much to carry.

"It's all gone now," Cole intervened. As so often, he looked into the emotions of those who needed guidance, and painted a picture of them.

"It's all too much. The world, it's scary. I'm not meant for it. Everything feels wrong. Twisted, turned, tortured... What do I do now?"

"Exhaustion has many faces, Davhal," Solas said kindly. "Once you have rested, it will be better."

Davhal stared into the grass, opening his mouth, but nothing came out. Forming words with his body was painful and tiring. Thankfully, Cole was there to speak for him.

"I don't want to be real. I only didn't want the Fade to take me, twist me. I don't want to be angry. It was all for naught. I want... rest. I want to rest how I rested before."

The young elf looked up at Cole with an expression of sorrow, and nodded. Solas frowned slightly.

"If I take you back to the memory, you will return to reliving it over and over again."

"No," Cole said. "He means this."

He approached them, palms combined to hold the jawbone amulet that had been broken in half. Solas first looked down at it, and then at Davhal again.

"You rested inside the pendant, Davhal? Is that true?"

He nodded.

Solas let out a breath of astonishment, the realization shaking his very core.

"You were the key all along... You called for my attention when my scar was torn open. You made the amulet glow with magic. And when I unlocked it earlier, then used it to activate the portal with the statue... You were freed. And all of your anger was let loose after ages of slumber."

Without thinking about it, seeing his fingers move through his hair, she moved to brush her own through his in an attempt to soothe him. She knew he probably didn’t have the words to explain his exhaustion. So when Cole chimed in for him, she felt a surge of respect and relief for their spirit friend.

“Well done, Cole.” She said gently. “Well done.” His compassion and his understanding of Davhal was what they all needed to hear, especially because perhaps he was helping Davhal work out his feelings and how to communicate them in real time.

“You were the one calling..” she said, her hands pausing in Davhal’s hair. It seemed like a lifetime again, when the amulet lit up and this search for answers led them to him. “We heard you. We heard you, and you’re free now.”

Solas reached out in an attempt to help him steady himself, but Davhal flinched away from his hand, holding out his own to show that he was alright. Plus, with Elliana right beside him, Solas was sure that he had more than enough support.

His heart warmed at the sight, feeling glad that she was there to soothe Davhal - and that he accepted it so effortlessly.

Davhal looked upon the amulet with fascination and yearning, gently touching it with his delicate fingers.

"No," he said softly at her question, shaking his head.

"I don't think my anger will ever be fully out of me. It still burns within me... What happened to me, to us, was not fair."

He frowned, and so did Solas.

"But when I look at this, this talisman, I feel... calmer. I never wanted to be free, I just wanted... release."

"Release from the memories you were trapped within?" Solas asked softly. Davhal nodded.

"Can I... go back? Into the amulet? Where I was... weightless?"

Solas paused.

"I don't know if that is possible, now that you are made of flesh and bone," he uttered quietly, approaching him carefully. "I can try, of course. The gravity between your essence and the pendant is still there, and since the memories that were trapped within are released, you should be safe in there. Are you... sure, that you want this?"

Davhal nodded.

Though, she looked somewhat surprised that he wanted to return to the amulet. Blinking several times, she took a couple of steps closer so she could meet his gaze.

“You’re..you’re sure?” But she saw him nod to Solas, and she wanted to respect his wishes. He deserved to make whatever choice would ease his pain the most.

“If that is what you need…then I wish you nothing but the best, Davhal.” She said, taking one of his hands in her own and pressing a little kiss to it before stepping back.

"Thank you, Elliana... I will make sure to remember that," he said softly, eyes quickly drawn back to the pendant. His eyes were fixed on it, never blinking.

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Solas approached some more.

"I will do my very best to help you return into the amulet. But Davhal, if I fail—"

"Then, at least, he will not fall apart like a memory without a place to hold it, because he is real now," Cole interrupted. Astonished, Solas first looked at him, then back at Davhal to see if he approved. With a nod, Davhal made it evident.

"I will live, and... adjust," he said. "I want that, one day... But I am not ready for that yet. I want... I need... calm... And home."

Solas frowned at him.

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Davhal. However, you understandably do not trust me after what I have done to you. I cannot say for certain that you will not be turned or twisted against your nature if you doubt the intentions of my magic. You have gained a body, yes, which strengthens your manifestation in this world, but your core is still spiritual. I don't want to destroy that by having to tap into the Fade and allowing it to influence the rite. I don't want to... destroy you."

She looked to Solas, her gaze almost sad, because she had hoped that he might be able to help Davhal find what he needed to be whole and at least content for a while.

“Do you what you must,” she insisted softly, hoping that he might be able to at least find a compromise that everyone could be pleased with.

"I trust Solas. He is my friend. He wants to help. Always. The Inquisitor Elliana Lavellan trusts him, too."

Solas looked touched by Cole's words, although still unconvinced, unsure where he was going with this.

She moved to stand beside Davhal so she could look him fully in the eyes as she spoke.

“Because, Cole is right. His intentions are good. He never intends to hurt anyone. And deep down, I know all that Solas wants is to help. Sometimes things get lost in translation as many things do. As the Inquisitor, I’m sure many people have doubted the choices I’ve made, even if I thought they were the right ones.”

She didn’t initially register that Davhal had said aloud just how much Elliana adored Solas. She had never even dared to say the word out loud around Solas, for fear of spooking him like a wild animal and sending him running. Hearing Davhal say it out loud…

She blushed, suddenly ducking her head. Her love had been unrequited and stopped by Solas multiple times. She’d taken to keeping it locked away, even if it came out in her actions. So she didn’t add anything to Davhal’s statement, even as kind and sincere as it was.

Before Solas began to return the poor boy to his memories, Elliana reached over and very gently smoothed some hair back from his face.

“You will always have someone looking out for you on this side of the world. I hope in the mean time, you are able to find some peace where you need it, friend.” She said as a way of farewell.

She watched then in silence as Solas returned Davhal to where he belonged, watched in awe as the pendant was once again whole, and realized that he hopefully had the closure and clarity he had spent so long looking for.

And as he cried, Elliana remained silent and still beside him, allowing him to fully process the grief and all that had happened. She couldn’t even begin to fathom it, even as the Inquisitor, nothing she’d ever seen began to rival this.

She offered Cole an approving smile and nod of her head. “Well done,” she said gently to him.

Though, she grew almost shy when Solas approached her like that, taking her hands and looking at her with such sincerity. They’d spent so long dancing around one another that when he reached for her like this she could scarcely believe it was happening.

And then to hear his words…his assurance that all this time, he’d cared for her too, that he’d stayed away because of his own attempt to protect her, her expression softener into something of a laugh and a sweet smile.

“Solas…can you not see?” She had said it only minutes before. “You are worth it all. If you cannot have children, it does not matter. If you live forever, then I wish to spend my mortal life by your side. I’ve chosen you since the moment I’ve met you.” She whispered, her voice quiet, still afraid even now that he might pull away from her.

“Spending a life by your side would not ruin it. It would be a joy. Just because our life won’t be conventional doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fulfilling. It would be ours.” She insisted softly.

She had been gazing up into those timeless eyes of his, wishing she could fully express the depths of her love for him, but Davhal had already done it for her.

“Ar lath ma,” she finally said after a moment’s hesitation. She decided in that moment she would lay it all out, fully. Whatever his answer was, she would live by.

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.

“Solas..” she couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say that might soothe him. Truly, what could she say to him like this? He was mourning the loss of his father, realizing that all he had ever known was wrong. She moved to knee before him, stroking his back and along his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.

She didn’t say anything for several long moments, instead focusing on being there for him, holding him through all of it, being kind and warm and gentle, that sunshine she had inside her doing her best warm him. She didn’t know what to do or say, perhaps there wasn’t anything she could.

“Your..your memories are intertwined with Davhal’s..” it was all she could offer. “Perhaps at the time you thought you were doing the right thing..”

"And after all this, you are still... here... with me..." he croaked, his voice hoarse from having screamed his life out before.

He kept his eyes closed. With how red and swollen they were now, there was no point in trying to see the world around him. He could feel that Elliana was right there, holding him, warming him, keeping him sane with the softness of her voice.

That was more than he deserved. More than he could have asked.

"I realize that there are many things that require an explanation," he whispered softly, "... and you deserve to hear them all." Solas leaned back and just gazed at her for a while. He unintentionally smudged some dirt onto her face as he cupped her cheek and immediately tried to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then, he took her hands and pulled Elliana up with him when he got up again, although he still needed to steady himself on the statue for a moment.

He seemed to have dissociated from his body to make the pain more bearable. His face was tired, bleak, exhausted, void of life.

She blinked once when he said so softly that she was there with him. Her gaze softened and without thinking about it, she too brushed her fingers across his face in a gesture of tenderness.

“There is no one where in all of Thedas that I would rather be,” and she left it at that. Because truly, there wasn’t.

When he brushed his fingers over her face, she leaned more fully into him, looking up at him with that expression of devotion.

When he stood, pulling her with him, she nodded after a moment and simply held his hands. That curious nature of hers was desperate to know more about what she’d seen, but one step at a time. She wasn’t going to push.

“Let’s go,” she agreed, keeping her hands in his to steady him a bit as they started the short walk back to camp. She was grateful it was nearby, she planned to get Solas into a chair by the fire so he could process everything.

There would be a lot of time to cry. A lot of time for him to mourn. She intended to stay with him through it. It took less than five minutes to walk to camp, and once they were there, she made a point to help him sit in one of the nearby chairs by the fireplace.

"Forgive me, I... I am trying to process..." he whispered.

"All this time, I carried Davhal's memories as though they were my own. And I still do... They are all still there. I didn't just kill him, I... I took his life and lived it. And Earl, and Greta..."

Solas took a very deep breath to contain another wave of cruel emotions.

“There is nothing to forgive. Take your time. If it’s an hour or a month, you need to feel this fully. To understand it all.” It was the only way; through. No matter how overwhelmed he was.

“Solas, I don’t know all that has happened in your past.” It was obvious he was keeping things hidden from her, so she didn’t know who he was before…now. “But I know who you are now. You lived with those memories because you genuinely believed they were your own. You didn’t lie, you didn’t deceive, you truly believe them.”

She was saddened to hear there was more he was keeping from her, but, for now it wasn’t her place to push him about it.

"Thank you..." he whispered and breathed again to brace himself.

He had no idea where the hell to start.

"... It is true that the Merritts lived hundreds of years ago."

Solas paused and swallowed. His heart ached with how difficult this was going to be.

"And it is also true that I was in contact with Earl and Davhal through their dreams at the time. Until today, I... I believed that I was left on their doorstep fourty-two years ago. And it made sense because I was sure that I was... reborn."

Solas breathed, swallowed once more, and finally raised his face to look at her. His grey eyes turned violet again as they met with hers - deep, and true, and honest.

"But I was not reborn. I was always me... for a long, long time. I laid in dark and dreaming sleep as countless wars and ages passed. My Uthenera began as the great empire of the elves collapsed... And it ended merely a year before we met."

His chest quivered with both relief and despair as he said it out loud, and his purple eyes welled up with tears again.

She forced her racing, fluttering heart to quiet so she could be of best comfort to him. This was not about her, it was about him.

When he lifted his gaze to hers again and she saw those gorgeous, striking purple eyes, she had to bite back a squeak of surprise. She remembered what had happened the last time she’d seen those eyes, and her heart had been broken. So she stayed quiet and merely listened to him.

Though, when the reality and the gravity of what he was saying his her, her expression went blank. As if she’d fallen into one of the frozen ponds her clan would camp beside, leaving her shocked and still.

Hearing Solas say he was an Ancient…it..somehow made sense. Because of all he knew, because of his wisdom and his gifts. And yet..Elliana found it so hard to believe at the same time.

“H-how? You…you were asleep? What…why were you..?” She could barely form the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb all he’d said. Though, despite her shock, she never pulled away from him, her hands stayed gripping his own.

The fact that she never once let go of his hands strengthened his soul and helped him recover from the initial despair. It was hard to tell the truth, but that was the very thing he was made for. In reality, Solas had been more scared of her reaction than anything else.

But Elliana was not upset, or angry, or punishing him for disappointing any expectations. She still held him, and listened. The relief was nothing short of liberating.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little in the end.

"I assure you, I don't know everything," he said softly.

"I witnessed mere echoes of history in the Fade. I learned the languages as they developed, how magic changed through the ages, how the elves were enslaved and are now still suppressed all over Thedas... I woke up alone, deep within Arlathan Forest."

He looked at her again, a deep frown carving valleys into his forehead.

“Appalled? No.” She regained enough composure to very gently squeeze his hands with her own. Another soothing and gentle gesture. “But..amazed? Confused? A little concerned for your well-being, absolutely.” She offered a crooked smile.

“But…you were alone. Lost in time. I…you must have been frightened.” She couldn’t imagine having your entire world turned upside down like that and waking in a different time.

“No wonder you think Sera is annoying. Though in truth, she can be a little much..” she admitted softly. But, it made sense suddenly. So many little things about Solas that she’d observed for so long, now she saw it for what it was.

“So…if you’re an Ancient…what does that make you now, Solas? You…must have felt so alone when you woke.” She lifted one hand to cradle the wide or his face. On top of thinking he’d been reborn, to lose the thought of Earl and his past and now realizing he’d slept for a millennia…

"I was frightened, I admit. It took a whole day until I remembered. Until then, I wandered through Arlathan like a lost lion cub."

The mention of Sera got another gentle smile out of him.

"Sera is... the result of what had happened to the elves, among other things. Of course, she frustrates me. As does Varric. They are both the farthest from their heritage as they could possibly be, but given their histories, I should be more patient. They should not have to deal with my... adjustment issues. Unless Sera fills my bedroll with lizards again. That was... uncomfortable."

Solas did not like thinking back on that night. He had woken up the entire camp by screaming his lungs out, cursing elven profanities, and throwing these poor lizards around in a desperate attempt to get rid of them.

Not that he minded lizards at all. But feeling not only one, but several little things squirming somewhere inside his bedroll was... quite unsettling.

The memory slid out of his head once he felt the warmth of Elliana's hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Elvhenan fell about four millennia ago. The elves lived slowly, never truly paying attention to how time passed. I am not sure what exactly that makes me... Although, what I do know is this: The majority of my life was spent in Uthenera."

Opening his eyes again, Solas looked into hers.

“I won’t let that happen again.” She grumbled, still somewhat frustrated by the way that she had done that, and had proceeded to prank others in their group as well. Sera was…unique to say the least.

When Solas leaned into her hand, she cupped him further and just savored the feeling of his warm, his smile, anything that made him feel just a little bit more..normal, after everything that he had been through.

“What…is Uthenera?” The word was somehow unfamiliar to her, even though she’d made it a point to try and know her culture and history as much as the Dalish possibly could. Again, the idea that there was so much between them..years..she wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Someone so young, so new.

Filling in the blanks was healing for him, in a way, even though Solas knew that he would have to pick up the topic of the Merritts again. After coming with him all this way to find the truth, and staying with him through it, he wanted to be as honest to her as he could be.

He not only owed it to her as the Inquisitor, but as her friend.

Solas nodded, and continued.

"About twenty years before the Fourth Blight began, I sensed traces of very ancient elven magic in the Fade. When I followed it, I found a prophecy. 'The Huntress shall awake and give birth into the waking with fire and taint.' Hundreds of years ago, the Dalish of Northern Thedas focused a lot of their research on prophecies like these, writing interpretations and painting murals. Over the generations, they formed the belief that Andruil, the Huntress, would be reborn, and this child would be marked by 'fire and taint'."

"And then, some day during the Black Age, a Dalish clan gave birth to a little boy: He had a large, fiery birthmark across the right side of his face, and the eye on that same side was entirely blackened. The rest of his body had patches of malpigmentation. Fire and taint. His healthy eye was violet, which was believed to inherit the spirit of an ancient elf... That was Davhal. They immediately connected him with the prophecy. And since birthmarks are rarely associated with luck and good fortune, they abandoned the boy in a cave to die."

He paused to take a deep breath.

It suddenly hit her harder that Solas was not mortal. He was an immortal ancient, having lived eons, many lives, and had only now just rejoined. She felt so…so insignificant compared to him. No wonder he’d seemed so uncertain and guarded when they’d first met. He’d woken in an alien world. The elves who were here now were not his people.

She lowered her hand from his face to his heart. A heart that had lived and loved so much longer than her.

“Mythal enaste…” she whispered. “This heart…has beat through time.”

She listened as he spoke of the prophecy, of Davhal, of the Dalish. She knew her people were superstitious, even brutal, but hearing that Davhal’s mother had risked and lost her life defending him..she shook her head and sighed.

“His poor mother.” She shook her head again. “Earl was even more rare than I realized, if he lived through the Black Age. The humans were..so cruel.” She often liked to give the benefit of the doubt but even she knew the brutality of it all back then.

Still, there was hesitation in it. Never had he needed her touch more than tonight, but it was too easy to lose himself in her like that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him for eternity. Slowly, he lowered their hands from his chest, but he kept their fingers intwined.

"From what I was able to sense, yes. Long before the gods disappeared, Andruil left a piece of her essence wandering the waking world. Over the centuries, this essence was too weak to plant itself within the life of another. I don't want to claim that a mere birthmark is an indicator of doom, however... Davhal was a Dreamer, like me. Perhaps, his closer connection to the Fade made it possible for Andruil's essence to manifest within him."

Solas looked down upon their joined hands, continuously caressing her fingers with his thumb. Gods, how good it felt to have her this close in spite of all the reasons not to let that happen...

"I found Earl's dreams in an attempt to offer my assistance. He needed to know that this child had the potential of causing significant damage to the world... You see, prophecies were never meant to be taken as promises. If anything, they were warnings. I theorized that if Davhal were to be raised with the amount of love he really needed, any influence coming from Andruil's essence would weaken. If the warning of the prophecy was serious, we could have stopped it from coming to pass by guiding him in the right direction. If the prophecy was simply misinterpreted or untrue, an abandoned boy would simply have a family. In my mind, there was no harm in that... and Earl agreed eventually."

"It was truly fate that Davhal's mother chose their house. I assume you know what would have happened to him, had he been left a few houses down the street..."

Solas touched the scar on his forehead as it tingled softly. It had already fully healed ever since it tore open the other night, and he let out a deep sigh thinking of how this scar really came to be.

"As you can imagine, growing up as a lone elf in a human village was hard. He was very alone. Even though Earl gave him love, guidance, and acceptance, Davhal had a very difficult time as a boy. The violence he was faced with was... despicable. No amount of love could make that better, but I still had hope. Davhal grew older, stronger, and eventually became a rebellious teenager."

He smiled a little at that notion, but it vanished.

"If only it was as consequential as with any other boy his age... Andruil's essence was strengthened by his struggles. Earl begged me to help because he was starting to lose faith, thus I started to visit the boy in his dreams, and for a while, it seemed that my guidance helped him feel better. I showed him how to control his magic, what a Dreamer was able to do and how much wisdom it offered. He was, truly, a remarkable young man. He was kind to others despite the hatred that came his way. He grew into the philosopher that Earl always was, so bright and full of hope. Unfortunately, even my guidance was not enough. Or, perhaps, my presence in his dreams even caused what came next."

Solas sighed heavily and paused for a moment.

So when his fingers intertwined with hers and he lowered their hands but kept up the constant soothing touch, she did her best to focus on his face, on his words. And she did— Davhal’s story and all Solas had learned was fascinating and tragic. Her curiosity fluttered, growing stronger with every word he said.

But, that didn’t stop her from leaning in just slightly, so their foreheads were touching once again, while her thumb brushed against the pulse point of his wrist, savoring his closeness.

“It sounds like…Dahval did learn. From Earl, from you. Was..Davhal’s outburst of anger and Blight…was it fully intentional?” She wondered if, as a teenager, he’d simply lost control of his power and accidentally hurt Greta.

“You did your best, Lethallin. You wanted to help, to give him a chance after all his mother had sacrificed and all that you knew. I don’t think you can blame yourself for what happened with Greta and Dahval.” She said sincerely, squeezing his hand and letter her index finger trace the inside of his wrist.

“I think…I think that even if it was not what you expected, you still learned and you felt and you grew. Humans will never be entirely cruel again, because you knew Earl. Even if it was through dreams. You saw true love and kindness.”

She was quiet for a moment. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask a million questions, but she wondered if it would be too much after what he’d seen. To try and make him smile, perhaps ease some of his pain, she offered that radiant, glowing smile of hers and met his gaze.

Her innocence. Her happiness.

He sighed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that Elliana knew what she was getting herself into.

"His outburst, maybe. To have Andruil's spark blight her? I highly doubt that. There was definite resentment between them for a number of reasons, some more justified than others. But Davhal was shocked when it happened and he tried to help her before Earl shut him out completely. Davhal lost himself in a very dark place and not even I could help him out of it. Regret is a very haunting feeling... I realized that Andruil's essence manifested further, growing, strengthening... Earl and I were powerless to stop it."

"After Greta passed, Davhal ran away a couple of times. He would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, straying away from his purpose. He even learned how to block my view from him through the Veil, which wasn't too difficult, considering how weakened I was from my involuntary slumber... But I knew that if Andruil's essence took over, it could be the beginning of another Blight. It had to be stopped. He... had to be stopped."

"I waited for the next time he would come home. It took years for me to gather enough of my power... I visited Earl's dream after years of no contact and tried to tell him that there was nothing left that we could do. I wanted to give him a chance to have a say in his fate. In the memories, you have heard me offer to make Davhal Tranquil instead, so Earl would keep his son... He would have none of it, but I cannot possibly blame him. That I even considered it... disgusts me..."

He took a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her hand in his. Solas could feel his emotions rising up again.

"I wanted so desperately to help him grow, to stop Andruil's Blight. but it was all for naught... I knew Earl would do anything in his power to stop me from hurting him... And so I realized I had to kill them both through their dreams. But it did not work in the world's favour... Just a year after their deaths, the Fourth Blight broke out regardless of our efforts. All this pain, this suffering... It was for nothing. Killing them was the last thing I ever did before I awoke. My slumber was completely void of dreams because I used all my remaining power. Perhaps, too much of it was wasted when I ended Earl's life, first. Perhaps, murdering Davhal only set the Blight free in the first place. Perhaps, I couldn't kill him at all..."

His eyes watered again and Solas made a point to swallow them back down immediately. He did not deserve to feel this way after all that he had done, and the shame of it threatened to devour him whole. His knee began rocking up and down due to his nerves catching fire, but he didn't notice.

"You shouldn't be so kind to me, my love..."

Solas kissed her hands softly, over and over, almost losing himself in it.

She listened in silence as he continued his story. Even though their foreheads were touching, she made a point to try to meet his gaze, so that he knew she was listening, and that she wasn’t afraid of what she was hearing. Being honest like this, bearing his soul in a way, she knew he needed to feel safe to do so.

“Solas…you couldn’t have known for certain what was happening. You…may be ancient. And wise. But that doesn’t mean that you can foresee every outcome. You tried. You tried to help Dahval find his way. You tried to help Earl guide him. There is..only so much one person can do.”

“Perhaps..this is a lesson. A lesson to remember that as much as you want to change things, there is a limit to what we can do. You tried, Solas. You wanted to help. And now…now you must learn from what happened. And I think you have.” She gave him an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

As Solas began to stew in his regret, letting his emotions overtake him as he thought of killing Earl and Dahval, she didn’t think, she simply brought herself closer to him so she could try to comfort him.

“Solas—“ she started to say, intent on finding something that might bring him some comfort or ease his pain, only to freeze.

He…he’d called her his love.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Her heart leapt for joy in her chest, but there was still a cautious part of her, a part of her that thought she was too young, too different from him, that he’d pull away from her again.

And yet…

“And yet, I’m still here.” Emotion rose in her throat, making her own eyes tear up just a little bit. She watched as he kissed her skin, leaving her shivering with delight.

As she did when they’d dreamed together in the Fade, she tilted his chin very gently so he would face her, look into her eyes, perhaps see all the love that had been there for so long. Just for him.

Solas wanted nothing more than to believe her.

That there was a limit to what one person could do.

That he could learn from this and move on.

But his regrets felt so... impossible to overcome. He had the power to change things. He had the means to achieve what must be achieved. And yet, he failed, over and over and over again. The consequences of his failures were too great to make undone or move on from. His wisdom was not enough. He was not enough. Mythal had taught him that.

And so, Solas would try anew, instead.

With Davhal, he failed to keep him from the Blight's grasp, so he provoked his rebirth to have a clean slate for the next attempt – until it was enough to save the world, and Davhal's reborn soul, from Andruil.

As with a failed stroke of his brush on his paintings, Solas would cover up the mistake, try again, and perfect it – until it was good enough.

Solas shook his head faintly, the deepest of sighs escaping his body. This pain, this familiar agony, was almost blissful to drown in. The evidence that he was good enough in Elliana's eyes in spite of the mistakes she knew about...

It was refreshing, and healing, but also scary, and haunting.

To break free from his past, move on from his mistakes, and just have her?

Could she be his last chance to try everything anew? Could she be his clean slate?

When her voice broke, Solas stopped kissing her hands but kept them close within his own, and looked at her with a deep frown. His eyes filled with sadness over causing this wave of sorrow for her as one of his hands broke free to cup her cheek.

"Don't cry..." he whispered softly. His hand wandered down to her neck before Solas leaned in to plant the softest of kisses on her now vacant cheek. He made it last, feeling it impossible to keep his lips away from her warmth. His lungs quivered with delight and comfort, his heart feeling heavy and light in his chest as it raced.

That was when the horses started grumbling and growling, tugging at their ties and kicking the air.

Solas promptly removed his lips from Elliana's cheek and stared at them as he held his breath. As much as he hated this disturbance... he knew that only the foolish choose to ignore it when their horses get nervous out of nowhere.

"Something's wrong. We are not alone," he whispered and glanced around. His eyes fixed on something behind Elliana, right next to the fire.

He froze, immediately.

"H-How..."

Regrettably, he got up from his chair and approached the fire, picking up whatever he had spotted next to it.

It was a bouquet of violet and yellow flowers – cornflowers and primroses, just like the ones on Earl's grave – tied together by the very leather strap of Solas' necklace. The bone of the wolf's jaw was broken in half.

"That was not here before. I left the pendant with the statue! How did it--"

He heard it before he saw it, but he saw it in time.

Solas lunged forward and grasped Elliana's hand to drag her away with force, almost yanking her arm out in the process; He pulled her in front of him to shield her when a blazing fire crashed right through his tent and grazed his back, letting him cry out in pain. The campfire reacted with an outburst of energy powerful enough to send them to the dirty ground.

His entire body laid atop hers like layers of armor, her head deeply hidden within his protective embrace. Solas' tent caught fire within two heartbeats and burned like Andraste's pyre. The horses went crazy, trying desperately to free themselves from their ties.

Once Solas was certain that they were safe, he pulled back slightly and stared down at Elliana with terror in his eyes. The pain on his back was completely forgotten at the sight of her.

She loved him. Just as he was. She loved him as just Solas. She loved him as an ancient. And she loved him even if his actions and choices hadn’t been the right solution. She didn’t need perfection…she wanted him.

This was his choice now. She had laid everything she could out on the table for himself and she could also tell that at some point, someone or something had made Solas believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be perfect, that things had to align in some unattainable way…

Perhaps it was because he was an Ancient. Immortal, potentially. Maybe he had shaped worlds and lives for so long he didn’t know how to let go and live his own. More than likely, his regret was festering and burning him. And he wasn’t ready to let it go.

And if he couldn’t let it go, then he would never choose her.

Somehow that made it so much harder for Elliana, the more she thought about it. Tears sprang to her eyes when he told her not to cry, an automatic reaction. She didn’t speak, simply stayed silent as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And by the gods, just a kiss on her cheek and his hand on the back of her neck…it was enough to set her soul aflame.

That was, until he suddenly pulled back. She too heard the horses begin to grow restless, and as someone who has grown up being attuned to nature it made her instantly pay attention to their surroundings.

When she saw the flowers, her eyes narrowed and she frowned in confusion.

“That doesn’t make sense. We saw that in those memories it was you who were manipulating things..and if you didn’t do that-“ she started to ask who would be following them now, when it all happened so quickly.

It was not the first time she’d survived an explosion since she want to the Chantry, but it certainly wasn’t easier. The wind had been knocked out of her when Solas had tackled her to the ground. She was gasping to suck air back into her lungs, her eyes a bit foggy with the force of them hitting the ground, but for the most part, she was fine.

“Solas!” She didn’t even have time to answer his question, she reached for his back in a panic. “Vhenan!” She tried to wiggle out from under him so she could see any damage the fire might have caused.

"I'm okay!" he forced out, relieved that she seemed to be uninjured. Solas allowed her to get out from under him, although he made sure to keep her close. He cupped her cheek to make her focus on him.

"Go free the horses, quickly! They will return once everything is safe. Then get your weapon. I'll handle this!"

He forced himself up, feeling the heat of the fire reach for his face. With a swift but strong movement of his arm, a shockwave of winter threw itself onto the tent and extinguished the fire. Solas wasted no time and rummaged through the burnt ruins to retrieve his staff. It was damaged, but still usable.

Another fireball shot through the darkness of the night. Solas spotted it in time and blocked it with a wall of ice. It shattered and enclosed him in a brief storm of winds that disappeared quickly, and he had to protect his face from the icy crystals.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he shouted into the distance.

"I don't answer to you, Solas. Not anymore," a male voice growled back. Deep and full of rage. Inhuman.

In the dark, another fireball formed itself, dancing upon the palm of a hand. It reflected against fabric, a face, a pointy ear, and yet, it didn't; The being seemed almost translucent, dancing along the edges of the Veil.

The left eye glowed purple. The other... did not.

“We have to get you something for your back.” She hated that she wasn’t a mage, unable to heal him at a whim. Instead, she could only provide what aid the Dalish had taught her growing up. None of which would be helpful if they were currently under attack.

She whipped her head to the terrified horses, nodding as she stood suddenly and made her way back to them. Wrenching the two daggers she always kept at her hips free, she sliced through both of their rope bonds, sending them bolting into the forest and away from danger.

She pulled her father’s bow from her pack nearby, setting an arrow in preparation and then turning to rejoin Solas after he’d managed to grab his staff.

She was covered in dirt and singed with ash on her brow and in her red hair, the mark at her hand sparking. She wasn’t sure if she should use the devastating power she wielded with it, especially not when Solas said Davhal’s name.

So..that was who was after them.

But..if that was the case…wasn’t he dead?

"Davhal, if this is you... We can talk!" Solas stuttered.

"We are long over talking, Solas," he answered, his voice ghost-like and layered with a thousand songs. "Talking is your thing, isn't it?! You talk and talk and talk, but when you are required to actually do something, you destroy everything!"

"Please, Davhal, what I did was—"

"Necessary, right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

"... At the time, I thought it was. But I know now that it was wrong, that you deserved so much more than my misled judgement!" Solas begged.

"You should've pulled through. You should've killed me. Then, at least, you would've succeeded with your cruelty!"

The more Solas' eyes grew acustomed to the darkness again, the more he realized that Davhal didn't seem... real. At least not in a physical sense.

His body didn't throw a shadow as the light from the fire on his palm shone right through him, and the Veil behind him rippled ever so slightly. The colours were off and strange, almost dream-like.

Solas glanced at the sparking Anchor in Elliana's hand and leaned in to her, whispering, "This is either a spirit imitating his anger, or his remnant from the memories. Your mark is reacting to it... The Veil is thin here; There must be a rift nearby. Whatever this is... This is not the real Davhal."

The fire in the being's hand enlarged, sparks of ember dancing through the night. A hiss echoed along the Veil, a rumble of wrath illuminated.

“Solas,” she took a moment to very gently cup his face with both her hands. Yes, they were in danger, but he needed to hear this as much as Davhal did.

“Real or not, he is right, his pain is real. And maybe what Davhal or whatever this spirit is need…is an apology. You have regret for your actions. I’ve seen that you do, now he needs to see it.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sincere as she traced is cheekbone with her fingers.

“Sometimes, no matter your intention, admitting that you wronged someone and apologizing is the best way to move forward.”

Then, Elliana stepped back from Solas and turned to face this spirit, fire and rage and all, with her hands held up in surrender.

“Davhal, I see you’re hurting. I’ve seen your pain. I’m so sorry about your father.” Elliana meant it. “But your father raised you to be compassionate, to show mercy just like he did for you when you he found you as a child.”

She took another step closer. If worst came to worse, she could try to close the rift and stop this, but this being, this spirit, whatever he was, was hurting. He needed closure. He reminded her of a more rage-filled Cole.

“Your father knew you were good.” She said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t grow more enraged for mentioning his father like this. But she had to try.

And while he listened to her speak to Davhal — or his memory, or whatever embodied his essence — he knew that his love for Elliana grew even more than he could possibly comprehend.

Her gentleness, her patience, the love and empathy in her beautiful voice... With all of Davhal's memories still encapsulating his heart as though they were his own, and with everything that had come before any of the Merrits existed, he felt like she was speaking to him, as well.

Solas attempted to stop her from approaching Davhal, but his hand only met air. He was absolutely not comfortable with her shielding him from danger and getting closer to the same being who could effortlessly burn down entire camps, but he forced himself to remember all those times she had faced even more dangerous endeavours.

Meanwhile, Davhal listened, twisting the fireball above his hand with impatient movements of his fingers. Eventually, he clenched that hand into a fist, the fire disintegrating into rage-filled sparks.

"You know nothing of my pain! I was trapped in this memory for ages upon ages! One of your clans left me in a cave to die! What would you know about compassion?!"

"Davhal, please!" Solas begged, taking a step closer, desperate for his attention.

"I am sorry," he emphasized. "I am so, so sorry for every single ounce of pain that has been caused to you and your family. I am sorry that you got hurt even more because of my failure—"

"You are only sorry because you thought you were me! Because you feel my hurt!" Davhal shouted back, his voice cracking with both emotion and wrath.

"I do feel your hurt. Every little bit of it... And you want me punished for what I have done. I understand that more than you think—"

"Earl was my family, Solas! MINE! What gives you the right?!"

"Nothing, Davhal. Absolutely nothing does..."

Solas took some steps closer, raising his hands in surrender much like Elliana. He kept his voice low and cautious along with every single one of his movements. Behind Davhal, the tear in the Veil became more evident, its green lights shining through Davhal's being.

"You should have killed me thoroughly, not him..." he sobbed, "Why did you... Why did you have to kill my father?"

Solas swallowed his tears.

"Because he would have done anything to stop me from killing you. Because I couldn't force him to wake from his dream in order to hold him back... I had to make sure that I had enough power left to do... what I had to do... And because I wanted to spare him from watching you, his beloved son, die from the hand of a friend. All of it was for naught. I know that now... If I could, I would prevent all the pain that has been caused."

Then, for a moment, it was peaceful. The fiery heat that radiated from Davhal cooled down, and he knelt from losing his strength. Solas followed, reaching out his hand for him.

"I am sorry," Solas said again, quietly and sincerely. "I am sorry you and Earl were hurt. I am sorry about what happened to Greta. And I am sorry that you were trapped in your grief for so long because I failed... My friend, she is right. Earl would not have wanted for you to be vengeful."

Davhal stared down at his empty hands and shook his head, quietly weeping to himself. He briefly contemplated taking Solas' hand, but refrained from it.

Then, he nodded and said, "You're right... He would not have wanted that for me..."

Suddenly, Davhal pursed his lips and stared into Solas' eyes.

"But he is too dead to wish for anything for me."

It happened before Solas could stop it in time. But whatever — or whoever — suddenly stood between them, could. Davhal summoned a wave of fire, yet before he could let it devour Solas and Elliana whole, he was thrown back by a shockwave of kinetic energy. Davhal's voice echoed as he shouted in despair, thrown against the edges of the rift that had manifested behind him.

Solas' entire view was blocked by a massive hat as he pushed himself back and up again. The figure turned around, his thin and scarily fragile frame forming a silhouette against the rift.

"Inquisitor! Close the rift, and you shall be safe!" yelled none other than Cole, himself.

She kept her hands outstretched, willing her mark to stay calm and not flicker with the Fade’s green energy. She didn’t want to do anything that might scare Davhal or set him off.

“My people are not always the most compassionate. That does not excuse their actions and what they did to you.” She said, though she knew that that wound for Davhal would never fully go away.

“Davhal, you have the opportunity to make things better than what you faced in your life. You have the opportunity to live for yourself and for Earl. Choose the path that he would want for you, please!” She insisted.

Though, she had to stop herself when Solas began to speak. She was proud of him for apologizing to Davhal for everything that happened. It was all she could do, and she was pleased to see that he was learning.

There was even a moment or two where she thought Solas was making real progress with Davhal. She stayed beside him, ready to help if necessary, but this was about the two of them.

However, what happened next was so fast. Cole- there in front of them, insisting she close the rift. And Solas in distress, begging her not to.

She would always choose Solas.

“Cole! We’re pulling him out!” She said, her voice carrying the authority of the Inquisitor.

"If I use magic to pull him out, the Fade's gravitation will tear him apart. We have to try to do it manually!" Solas pleaded and dropped his staff like a heavy weight, storming towards the rift.

"Help me free him! Together!"

"NO!" Davhal cried, his voice echoing with the song of the Fade. He tried to move away from Solas' touch, but couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" he cried.

"Let me help you, Davhal! Please!"

Cole joined beside Solas in an instant. Solas had no idea if grabbing his arms was even possible, but with the Fade torn open and right in front of them, he was hopeful that his expectation to do so was enough to make an impact.

But Davhal needed to want to be helped, as well.

The rift tore at him, dragging him in deeper every second. Davhal growled, fighting its gut-wrenching gravity.

"Everything you touch burns down, Solas!"

"I cannot let the Fade claim you. It will repell you like a foreign body and shred you over and over again! I will not let that happen to you!"

"I don't want your help!"

Cole chimed in.

"Afraid... So afraid. I don't know what the Fade will bring, but I know that he will betray me again. If I am torn to shreds, will my suffering end?"

Davhal stared at him, first confusion, then shock, and then desperation distorting his features.

"You can hear my thoughts?"

"Your emotions," Cole answered. "I can feel them. Fighting, frightened, fierce. I don't want to die, but I cannot take more agony. I am too fragmented to live, but too real to fade away. Let us help you. Let us make you whole again. Another chance at peace."

Davhal lowered his head and started sobbing again. The tears were invisible within his translucent, unreal being, but the ground below him trickled with faint light when they fell.

Before they knew it, Davhal's free arm reached out, his hand grabbing tightly onto Solas'. The moment they touched, Davhal's arm lost its transparency, and instead of a ghostly limb, real skin and bones reflected the lights of the rift.

Solas grasped onto Davhal's real arm instantly, stunned at the sight, but focused nonetheless.

When Davhal finally consented to being helped, she felt a surge of hope that maybe he could be saved. Cole was right in everything that he was saying, scared, alone, exhausted, hurting.

“Come on!” She yelled when Solas told them to pull, so that was exactly what she did. Standing beside Cole and Solas, she pulled as hard as she possibly could.

“You’re alright Davhal,” she said as they managed to slow free him from this Fade prison. “We’re going to get you out!”

And she was right.

After several minutes of hard pulling, Davhal felt like of the Fade and right into Elliana’s arms. She managed to catch him, helping him to lie back on the ground and smoothing his hair from his face.

Elliana had been pulled and fallen from the Fade before. The first time had been alone, the second had been with Dorian and both had been jarring. She knew he was probably overwhelmed.

Every single touch solidified his being more.

The shiny, translucent consistency of his body gave way to real flesh and skin, tanned with patches of paleness. His face gained more features; The birthmark over his right eye took shape, along with his light brown hair as it followed the laws of physics, and his clothes started ripping under the force of his saviours' relentless holds.

Davhal grimaced, feeling their hope and strength pull him back into the world of the waking, but the gravity of the Fade was much the same, if not stronger. He bared his teeth and growled in pain, fighting against the feeling of getting ripped apart by all forces. Every centimeter he moved was anguish; The fright that washed over his whole being was agonizing, but begging to break free, like a scream that had been stuck in his throat for too long and was finally able to break out.

And when Elliana, Cole, and Solas finally pulled him out of the rift, Davhal cried, and bawled, and howled, until he was finally free.

He pushed himself forward and promptly fell as he lost balance, right into Elliana's arms. His back was met with the ground before he could catch a breath. His heart was racing ferociously in his chest and he clutched it, wild eyes staring around in complete sensory overstimulation. The tears that rolled from his eyes were endless.

But they proved that he was alive, and real.

Elliana's warm touch and soothing voice were like... the softest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Still, the feeling of the real world crashing down on his real body was too much to handle at once.

Solas pushed himself up and approached, looking down at him with relief and sympathy.

"Breathe, Davhal. Feel the warmth of her hand on your cheek. The cold air on your skin, the grass pressing against your back. Focus your eyes on Elliana's face," he said calmly, attempting to help ground him. As both him and Elliana already understood what that must feel like, Cole felt no need to verbalize Davhal's emotions.

Davhal tried his best to follow the instructions. Slowly but surely, he grew accustomed to how his body processed his surroundings, and his heavy, shaky breathing eventually calmed down. His eyes got lost in Elliana's stunning blue hues.

Out of breath, he tried to speak, but needed a couple of attempts.

"Y-You are... beautiful..." he croaked.

Solas promptly smiled and said, "Something we agree on after all..."

Davhal was heartbroken, that much was evident. Having to feel everything from his emotions to his body must have been more than a little overwhelming.

“Easy, lethallin. You are alright now.” She said softly, smoothing the hair back from his face with endless amounts of patience.

She wondered what it would mean for him now. He was alive..but where would he go? What would become of him? The Inquisition could offer him a home but..would he even want to go with them?

Elliana blushed when Davhal called her beautiful. She felt windswept and a little overwhelmed, but his words were sweet nonetheless.

“Sweet talker,” she told both Davhal and Solas, shaking her head slightly as she helped him sit up and stabilize. Her fingers caressed the side of Davhal’s cheek. She would give him as much time as he needed to fully adjust to his current position.

“Take it easy when you start to move,” once she was sure he was as good as he could be given the circumstances, Elliana turned to Cole with her brows raised in surprise.

He lowered his head and breathed.

"I was needed here. And I still am," said Cole when Elliana asked how he got here. "I sensed that my friends were in danger."

Solas smiled slightly. When he got closer, Davhal scooted away just a little bit, still understandably wary of him. Solas noticed, and stopped.

“Well,” she made sure that Davhal was stable before moving to stand beside Cole, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m thankful for your arrival. You truly have always shown up at the best times.”

She turned back to Davhal, approaching and crouching down beside him. She observed him as best she could, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him.

Davhal raised his gaze to meet with Elliana's when she joined him again, feeling how heavy his head was compared to his still weak neck. He was exhausted beyond measure, taking deep, tired breaths.

"I... I don't know... I am so tired..." he murmured softly, running his hands through his hair.

"To be made real is one of the most difficult things to go through as a former spiritual being," Solas said empathetically. !I strongly assume you were a memory... but I don't yet know how the Rift helped in giving you a real body. You can feel the world on your skin now. You will feel hungry, tired, exhausted... And I know I have a lot to answer for to deserve your trust, but I am more than willing to help you through this. As is Elliana. And, I am sure, Cole - as a former spirit of Compassion - wants to help you, as well."

Davhal sighed again and shook his head tiredly.

"I... don't know. I feel so... wrong... so misplaced. I wanted to kill you, but..."

He sighed, and stopped talking, the mere weight of his own voice too much to carry.

"It's all gone now," Cole intervened. As so often, he looked into the emotions of those who needed guidance, and painted a picture of them.

"It's all too much. The world, it's scary. I'm not meant for it. Everything feels wrong. Twisted, turned, tortured... What do I do now?"

"Exhaustion has many faces, Davhal," Solas said kindly. "Once you have rested, it will be better."

Davhal stared into the grass, opening his mouth, but nothing came out. Forming words with his body was painful and tiring. Thankfully, Cole was there to speak for him.

"I don't want to be real. I only didn't want the Fade to take me, twist me. I don't want to be angry. It was all for naught. I want... rest. I want to rest how I rested before."

The young elf looked up at Cole with an expression of sorrow, and nodded. Solas frowned slightly.

"If I take you back to the memory, you will return to reliving it over and over again."

"No," Cole said. "He means this."

He approached them, palms combined to hold the jawbone amulet that had been broken in half. Solas first looked down at it, and then at Davhal again.

"You rested inside the pendant, Davhal? Is that true?"

He nodded.

Solas let out a breath of astonishment, the realization shaking his very core.

"You were the key all along... You called for my attention when my scar was torn open. You made the amulet glow with magic. And when I unlocked it earlier, then used it to activate the portal with the statue... You were freed. And all of your anger was let loose after ages of slumber."

Without thinking about it, seeing his fingers move through his hair, she moved to brush her own through his in an attempt to soothe him. She knew he probably didn’t have the words to explain his exhaustion. So when Cole chimed in for him, she felt a surge of respect and relief for their spirit friend.

“Well done, Cole.” She said gently. “Well done.” His compassion and his understanding of Davhal was what they all needed to hear, especially because perhaps he was helping Davhal work out his feelings and how to communicate them in real time.

“You were the one calling..” she said, her hands pausing in Davhal’s hair. It seemed like a lifetime again, when the amulet lit up and this search for answers led them to him. “We heard you. We heard you, and you’re free now.”

Solas reached out in an attempt to help him steady himself, but Davhal flinched away from his hand, holding out his own to show that he was alright. Plus, with Elliana right beside him, Solas was sure that he had more than enough support.

His heart warmed at the sight, feeling glad that she was there to soothe Davhal - and that he accepted it so effortlessly.

Davhal looked upon the amulet with fascination and yearning, gently touching it with his delicate fingers.

"No," he said softly at her question, shaking his head.

"I don't think my anger will ever be fully out of me. It still burns within me... What happened to me, to us, was not fair."

He frowned, and so did Solas.

"But when I look at this, this talisman, I feel... calmer. I never wanted to be free, I just wanted... release."

"Release from the memories you were trapped within?" Solas asked softly. Davhal nodded.

"Can I... go back? Into the amulet? Where I was... weightless?"

Solas paused.

"I don't know if that is possible, now that you are made of flesh and bone," he uttered quietly, approaching him carefully. "I can try, of course. The gravity between your essence and the pendant is still there, and since the memories that were trapped within are released, you should be safe in there. Are you... sure, that you want this?"

Davhal nodded.

Though, she looked somewhat surprised that he wanted to return to the amulet. Blinking several times, she took a couple of steps closer so she could meet his gaze.

“You’re..you’re sure?” But she saw him nod to Solas, and she wanted to respect his wishes. He deserved to make whatever choice would ease his pain the most.

“If that is what you need…then I wish you nothing but the best, Davhal.” She said, taking one of his hands in her own and pressing a little kiss to it before stepping back.

"Thank you, Elliana... I will make sure to remember that," he said softly, eyes quickly drawn back to the pendant. His eyes were fixed on it, never blinking.

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Solas approached some more.

"I will do my very best to help you return into the amulet. But Davhal, if I fail—"

"Then, at least, he will not fall apart like a memory without a place to hold it, because he is real now," Cole interrupted. Astonished, Solas first looked at him, then back at Davhal to see if he approved. With a nod, Davhal made it evident.

"I will live, and... adjust," he said. "I want that, one day... But I am not ready for that yet. I want... I need... calm... And home."

Solas frowned at him.

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Davhal. However, you understandably do not trust me after what I have done to you. I cannot say for certain that you will not be turned or twisted against your nature if you doubt the intentions of my magic. You have gained a body, yes, which strengthens your manifestation in this world, but your core is still spiritual. I don't want to destroy that by having to tap into the Fade and allowing it to influence the rite. I don't want to... destroy you."

She looked to Solas, her gaze almost sad, because she had hoped that he might be able to help Davhal find what he needed to be whole and at least content for a while.

“Do you what you must,” she insisted softly, hoping that he might be able to at least find a compromise that everyone could be pleased with.

"I trust Solas. He is my friend. He wants to help. Always. The Inquisitor Elliana Lavellan trusts him, too."

Solas looked touched by Cole's words, although still unconvinced, unsure where he was going with this.

She moved to stand beside Davhal so she could look him fully in the eyes as she spoke.

“Because, Cole is right. His intentions are good. He never intends to hurt anyone. And deep down, I know all that Solas wants is to help. Sometimes things get lost in translation as many things do. As the Inquisitor, I’m sure many people have doubted the choices I’ve made, even if I thought they were the right ones.”

She didn’t initially register that Davhal had said aloud just how much Elliana adored Solas. She had never even dared to say the word out loud around Solas, for fear of spooking him like a wild animal and sending him running. Hearing Davhal say it out loud…

She blushed, suddenly ducking her head. Her love had been unrequited and stopped by Solas multiple times. She’d taken to keeping it locked away, even if it came out in her actions. So she didn’t add anything to Davhal’s statement, even as kind and sincere as it was.

Before Solas began to return the poor boy to his memories, Elliana reached over and very gently smoothed some hair back from his face.

“You will always have someone looking out for you on this side of the world. I hope in the mean time, you are able to find some peace where you need it, friend.” She said as a way of farewell.

She watched then in silence as Solas returned Davhal to where he belonged, watched in awe as the pendant was once again whole, and realized that he hopefully had the closure and clarity he had spent so long looking for.

And as he cried, Elliana remained silent and still beside him, allowing him to fully process the grief and all that had happened. She couldn’t even begin to fathom it, even as the Inquisitor, nothing she’d ever seen began to rival this.

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.

“Solas..” she couldn’t speak, didn’t know what to say that might soothe him. Truly, what could she say to him like this? He was mourning the loss of his father, realizing that all he had ever known was wrong. She moved to knee before him, stroking his back and along his shoulders in an attempt to soothe him.

She didn’t say anything for several long moments, instead focusing on being there for him, holding him through all of it, being kind and warm and gentle, that sunshine she had inside her doing her best warm him. She didn’t know what to do or say, perhaps there wasn’t anything she could.

“Your..your memories are intertwined with Davhal’s..” it was all she could offer. “Perhaps at the time you thought you were doing the right thing..”

"And after all this, you are still... here... with me..." he croaked, his voice hoarse from having screamed his life out before.

He kept his eyes closed. With how red and swollen they were now, there was no point in trying to see the world around him. He could feel that Elliana was right there, holding him, warming him, keeping him sane with the softness of her voice.

That was more than he deserved. More than he could have asked.

"I realize that there are many things that require an explanation," he whispered softly, "... and you deserve to hear them all." Solas leaned back and just gazed at her for a while. He unintentionally smudged some dirt onto her face as he cupped her cheek and immediately tried to wipe it off with his sleeve. Then, he took her hands and pulled Elliana up with him when he got up again, although he still needed to steady himself on the statue for a moment.

He seemed to have dissociated from his body to make the pain more bearable. His face was tired, bleak, exhausted, void of life.

She blinked once when he said so softly that she was there with him. Her gaze softened and without thinking about it, she too brushed her fingers across his face in a gesture of tenderness.

“There is no one where in all of Thedas that I would rather be,” and she left it at that. Because truly, there wasn’t.

When he brushed his fingers over her face, she leaned more fully into him, looking up at him with that expression of devotion.

When he stood, pulling her with him, she nodded after a moment and simply held his hands. That curious nature of hers was desperate to know more about what she’d seen, but one step at a time. She wasn’t going to push.

“Let’s go,” she agreed, keeping her hands in his to steady him a bit as they started the short walk back to camp. She was grateful it was nearby, she planned to get Solas into a chair by the fire so he could process everything.

There would be a lot of time to cry. A lot of time for him to mourn. She intended to stay with him through it. It took less than five minutes to walk to camp, and once they were there, she made a point to help him sit in one of the nearby chairs by the fireplace.

"Forgive me, I... I am trying to process..." he whispered.

"All this time, I carried Davhal's memories as though they were my own. And I still do... They are all still there. I didn't just kill him, I... I took his life and lived it. And Earl, and Greta..."

Solas took a very deep breath to contain another wave of cruel emotions.

“There is nothing to forgive. Take your time. If it’s an hour or a month, you need to feel this fully. To understand it all.” It was the only way; through. No matter how overwhelmed he was.

“Solas, I don’t know all that has happened in your past.” It was obvious he was keeping things hidden from her, so she didn’t know who he was before…now. “But I know who you are now. You lived with those memories because you genuinely believed they were your own. You didn’t lie, you didn’t deceive, you truly believe them.”

She was saddened to hear there was more he was keeping from her, but, for now it wasn’t her place to push him about it.

"Thank you..." he whispered and breathed again to brace himself.

He had no idea where the hell to start.

"... It is true that the Merritts lived hundreds of years ago."

Solas paused and swallowed. His heart ached with how difficult this was going to be.

"And it is also true that I was in contact with Earl and Davhal through their dreams at the time. Until today, I... I believed that I was left on their doorstep fourty-two years ago. And it made sense because I was sure that I was... reborn."

Solas breathed, swallowed once more, and finally raised his face to look at her. His grey eyes turned violet again as they met with hers - deep, and true, and honest.

"But I was not reborn. I was always me... for a long, long time. I laid in dark and dreaming sleep as countless wars and ages passed. My Uthenera began as the great empire of the elves collapsed... And it ended merely a year before we met."

His chest quivered with both relief and despair as he said it out loud, and his purple eyes welled up with tears again.

She forced her racing, fluttering heart to quiet so she could be of best comfort to him. This was not about her, it was about him.

When he lifted his gaze to hers again and she saw those gorgeous, striking purple eyes, she had to bite back a squeak of surprise. She remembered what had happened the last time she’d seen those eyes, and her heart had been broken. So she stayed quiet and merely listened to him.

Though, when the reality and the gravity of what he was saying his her, her expression went blank. As if she’d fallen into one of the frozen ponds her clan would camp beside, leaving her shocked and still.

Hearing Solas say he was an Ancient…it..somehow made sense. Because of all he knew, because of his wisdom and his gifts. And yet..Elliana found it so hard to believe at the same time.

“H-how? You…you were asleep? What…why were you..?” She could barely form the words, blinking rapidly as she tried to absorb all he’d said. Though, despite her shock, she never pulled away from him, her hands stayed gripping his own.

The fact that she never once let go of his hands strengthened his soul and helped him recover from the initial despair. It was hard to tell the truth, but that was the very thing he was made for. In reality, Solas had been more scared of her reaction than anything else.

But Elliana was not upset, or angry, or punishing him for disappointing any expectations. She still held him, and listened. The relief was nothing short of liberating.

He couldn't help but chuckle a little in the end.

"I assure you, I don't know everything," he said softly.

"I witnessed mere echoes of history in the Fade. I learned the languages as they developed, how magic changed through the ages, how the elves were enslaved and are now still suppressed all over Thedas... I woke up alone, deep within Arlathan Forest."

He looked at her again, a deep frown carving valleys into his forehead.

“Appalled? No.” She regained enough composure to very gently squeeze his hands with her own. Another soothing and gentle gesture. “But..amazed? Confused? A little concerned for your well-being, absolutely.” She offered a crooked smile.

“But…you were alone. Lost in time. I…you must have been frightened.” She couldn’t imagine having your entire world turned upside down like that and waking in a different time.

“No wonder you think Sera is annoying. Though in truth, she can be a little much..” she admitted softly. But, it made sense suddenly. So many little things about Solas that she’d observed for so long, now she saw it for what it was.

“So…if you’re an Ancient…what does that make you now, Solas? You…must have felt so alone when you woke.” She lifted one hand to cradle the wide or his face. On top of thinking he’d been reborn, to lose the thought of Earl and his past and now realizing he’d slept for a millennia…

"I was frightened, I admit. It took a whole day until I remembered. Until then, I wandered through Arlathan like a lost lion cub."

The mention of Sera got another gentle smile out of him.

"Sera is... the result of what had happened to the elves, among other things. Of course, she frustrates me. As does Varric. They are both the farthest from their heritage as they could possibly be, but given their histories, I should be more patient. They should not have to deal with my... adjustment issues. Unless Sera fills my bedroll with lizards again. That was... uncomfortable."

Solas did not like thinking back on that night. He had woken up the entire camp by screaming his lungs out, cursing elven profanities, and throwing these poor lizards around in a desperate attempt to get rid of them.

Not that he minded lizards at all. But feeling not only one, but several little things squirming somewhere inside his bedroll was... quite unsettling.

The memory slid out of his head once he felt the warmth of Elliana's hand on his cheek. He leaned into it and closed his eyes.

"Elvhenan fell about four millennia ago. The elves lived slowly, never truly paying attention to how time passed. I am not sure what exactly that makes me... Although, what I do know is this: The majority of my life was spent in Uthenera."

Opening his eyes again, Solas looked into hers.

“I won’t let that happen again.” She grumbled, still somewhat frustrated by the way that she had done that, and had proceeded to prank others in their group as well. Sera was…unique to say the least.

When Solas leaned into her hand, she cupped him further and just savored the feeling of his warm, his smile, anything that made him feel just a little bit more..normal, after everything that he had been through.

“What…is Uthenera?” The word was somehow unfamiliar to her, even though she’d made it a point to try and know her culture and history as much as the Dalish possibly could. Again, the idea that there was so much between them..years..she wondered what he thought when he looked at her. Someone so young, so new.

Filling in the blanks was healing for him, in a way, even though Solas knew that he would have to pick up the topic of the Merritts again. After coming with him all this way to find the truth, and staying with him through it, he wanted to be as honest to her as he could be.

He not only owed it to her as the Inquisitor, but as her friend.

Solas nodded, and continued.

"About twenty years before the Fourth Blight began, I sensed traces of very ancient elven magic in the Fade. When I followed it, I found a prophecy. 'The Huntress shall awake and give birth into the waking with fire and taint.' Hundreds of years ago, the Dalish of Northern Thedas focused a lot of their research on prophecies like these, writing interpretations and painting murals. Over the generations, they formed the belief that Andruil, the Huntress, would be reborn, and this child would be marked by 'fire and taint'."

"And then, some day during the Black Age, a Dalish clan gave birth to a little boy: He had a large, fiery birthmark across the right side of his face, and the eye on that same side was entirely blackened. The rest of his body had patches of malpigmentation. Fire and taint. His healthy eye was violet, which was believed to inherit the spirit of an ancient elf... That was Davhal. They immediately connected him with the prophecy. And since birthmarks are rarely associated with luck and good fortune, they abandoned the boy in a cave to die."

He paused to take a deep breath.

It suddenly hit her harder that Solas was not mortal. He was an immortal ancient, having lived eons, many lives, and had only now just rejoined. She felt so…so insignificant compared to him. No wonder he’d seemed so uncertain and guarded when they’d first met. He’d woken in an alien world. The elves who were here now were not his people.

She lowered her hand from his face to his heart. A heart that had lived and loved so much longer than her.

“Mythal enaste…” she whispered. “This heart…has beat through time.”

She listened as he spoke of the prophecy, of Davhal, of the Dalish. She knew her people were superstitious, even brutal, but hearing that Davhal’s mother had risked and lost her life defending him..she shook her head and sighed.

“His poor mother.” She shook her head again. “Earl was even more rare than I realized, if he lived through the Black Age. The humans were..so cruel.” She often liked to give the benefit of the doubt but even she knew the brutality of it all back then.

Still, there was hesitation in it. Never had he needed her touch more than tonight, but it was too easy to lose himself in her like that. She didn't deserve to be stuck with him for eternity. Slowly, he lowered their hands from his chest, but he kept their fingers intwined.

"From what I was able to sense, yes. Long before the gods disappeared, Andruil left a piece of her essence wandering the waking world. Over the centuries, this essence was too weak to plant itself within the life of another. I don't want to claim that a mere birthmark is an indicator of doom, however... Davhal was a Dreamer, like me. Perhaps, his closer connection to the Fade made it possible for Andruil's essence to manifest within him."

Solas looked down upon their joined hands, continuously caressing her fingers with his thumb. Gods, how good it felt to have her this close in spite of all the reasons not to let that happen...

"I found Earl's dreams in an attempt to offer my assistance. He needed to know that this child had the potential of causing significant damage to the world... You see, prophecies were never meant to be taken as promises. If anything, they were warnings. I theorized that if Davhal were to be raised with the amount of love he really needed, any influence coming from Andruil's essence would weaken. If the warning of the prophecy was serious, we could have stopped it from coming to pass by guiding him in the right direction. If the prophecy was simply misinterpreted or untrue, an abandoned boy would simply have a family. In my mind, there was no harm in that... and Earl agreed eventually."

"It was truly fate that Davhal's mother chose their house. I assume you know what would have happened to him, had he been left a few houses down the street..."

Solas touched the scar on his forehead as it tingled softly. It had already fully healed ever since it tore open the other night, and he let out a deep sigh thinking of how this scar really came to be.

"As you can imagine, growing up as a lone elf in a human village was hard. He was very alone. Even though Earl gave him love, guidance, and acceptance, Davhal had a very difficult time as a boy. The violence he was faced with was... despicable. No amount of love could make that better, but I still had hope. Davhal grew older, stronger, and eventually became a rebellious teenager."

He smiled a little at that notion, but it vanished.

"If only it was as consequential as with any other boy his age... Andruil's essence was strengthened by his struggles. Earl begged me to help because he was starting to lose faith, thus I started to visit the boy in his dreams, and for a while, it seemed that my guidance helped him feel better. I showed him how to control his magic, what a Dreamer was able to do and how much wisdom it offered. He was, truly, a remarkable young man. He was kind to others despite the hatred that came his way. He grew into the philosopher that Earl always was, so bright and full of hope. Unfortunately, even my guidance was not enough. Or, perhaps, my presence in his dreams even caused what came next."

Solas sighed heavily and paused for a moment.

So when his fingers intertwined with hers and he lowered their hands but kept up the constant soothing touch, she did her best to focus on his face, on his words. And she did— Davhal’s story and all Solas had learned was fascinating and tragic. Her curiosity fluttered, growing stronger with every word he said.

But, that didn’t stop her from leaning in just slightly, so their foreheads were touching once again, while her thumb brushed against the pulse point of his wrist, savoring his closeness.

“It sounds like…Dahval did learn. From Earl, from you. Was..Davhal’s outburst of anger and Blight…was it fully intentional?” She wondered if, as a teenager, he’d simply lost control of his power and accidentally hurt Greta.

“You did your best, Lethallin. You wanted to help, to give him a chance after all his mother had sacrificed and all that you knew. I don’t think you can blame yourself for what happened with Greta and Dahval.” She said sincerely, squeezing his hand and letter her index finger trace the inside of his wrist.

“I think…I think that even if it was not what you expected, you still learned and you felt and you grew. Humans will never be entirely cruel again, because you knew Earl. Even if it was through dreams. You saw true love and kindness.”

She was quiet for a moment. She wanted to know more, wanted to ask a million questions, but she wondered if it would be too much after what he’d seen. To try and make him smile, perhaps ease some of his pain, she offered that radiant, glowing smile of hers and met his gaze.

Her innocence. Her happiness.

He sighed and prayed to the gods he didn't believe in that Elliana knew what she was getting herself into.

"His outburst, maybe. To have Andruil's spark blight her? I highly doubt that. There was definite resentment between them for a number of reasons, some more justified than others. But Davhal was shocked when it happened and he tried to help her before Earl shut him out completely. Davhal lost himself in a very dark place and not even I could help him out of it. Regret is a very haunting feeling... I realized that Andruil's essence manifested further, growing, strengthening... Earl and I were powerless to stop it."

"After Greta passed, Davhal ran away a couple of times. He would be gone for weeks, sometimes months, straying away from his purpose. He even learned how to block my view from him through the Veil, which wasn't too difficult, considering how weakened I was from my involuntary slumber... But I knew that if Andruil's essence took over, it could be the beginning of another Blight. It had to be stopped. He... had to be stopped."

"I waited for the next time he would come home. It took years for me to gather enough of my power... I visited Earl's dream after years of no contact and tried to tell him that there was nothing left that we could do. I wanted to give him a chance to have a say in his fate. In the memories, you have heard me offer to make Davhal Tranquil instead, so Earl would keep his son... He would have none of it, but I cannot possibly blame him. That I even considered it... disgusts me..."

He took a deep, shaky breath, squeezing her hand in his. Solas could feel his emotions rising up again.

"I wanted so desperately to help him grow, to stop Andruil's Blight. but it was all for naught... I knew Earl would do anything in his power to stop me from hurting him... And so I realized I had to kill them both through their dreams. But it did not work in the world's favour... Just a year after their deaths, the Fourth Blight broke out regardless of our efforts. All this pain, this suffering... It was for nothing. Killing them was the last thing I ever did before I awoke. My slumber was completely void of dreams because I used all my remaining power. Perhaps, too much of it was wasted when I ended Earl's life, first. Perhaps, murdering Davhal only set the Blight free in the first place. Perhaps, I couldn't kill him at all..."

His eyes watered again and Solas made a point to swallow them back down immediately. He did not deserve to feel this way after all that he had done, and the shame of it threatened to devour him whole. His knee began rocking up and down due to his nerves catching fire, but he didn't notice.

"You shouldn't be so kind to me, my love..."

Solas kissed her hands softly, over and over, almost losing himself in it.

She listened in silence as he continued his story. Even though their foreheads were touching, she made a point to try to meet his gaze, so that he knew she was listening, and that she wasn’t afraid of what she was hearing. Being honest like this, bearing his soul in a way, she knew he needed to feel safe to do so.

“Solas…you couldn’t have known for certain what was happening. You…may be ancient. And wise. But that doesn’t mean that you can foresee every outcome. You tried. You tried to help Dahval find his way. You tried to help Earl guide him. There is..only so much one person can do.”

“Perhaps..this is a lesson. A lesson to remember that as much as you want to change things, there is a limit to what we can do. You tried, Solas. You wanted to help. And now…now you must learn from what happened. And I think you have.” She gave him an encouraging squeeze of her hands.

As Solas began to stew in his regret, letting his emotions overtake him as he thought of killing Earl and Dahval, she didn’t think, she simply brought herself closer to him so she could try to comfort him.

“Solas—“ she started to say, intent on finding something that might bring him some comfort or ease his pain, only to freeze.

He…he’d called her his love.

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Her heart leapt for joy in her chest, but there was still a cautious part of her, a part of her that thought she was too young, too different from him, that he’d pull away from her again.

And yet…

“And yet, I’m still here.” Emotion rose in her throat, making her own eyes tear up just a little bit. She watched as he kissed her skin, leaving her shivering with delight.

As she did when they’d dreamed together in the Fade, she tilted his chin very gently so he would face her, look into her eyes, perhaps see all the love that had been there for so long. Just for him.

Solas wanted nothing more than to believe her.

That there was a limit to what one person could do.

That he could learn from this and move on.

But his regrets felt so... impossible to overcome. He had the power to change things. He had the means to achieve what must be achieved. And yet, he failed, over and over and over again. The consequences of his failures were too great to make undone or move on from. His wisdom was not enough. He was not enough. Mythal had taught him that.

And so, Solas would try anew, instead.

With Davhal, he failed to keep him from the Blight's grasp, so he provoked his rebirth to have a clean slate for the next attempt – until it was enough to save the world, and Davhal's reborn soul, from Andruil.

As with a failed stroke of his brush on his paintings, Solas would cover up the mistake, try again, and perfect it – until it was good enough.

Solas shook his head faintly, the deepest of sighs escaping his body. This pain, this familiar agony, was almost blissful to drown in. The evidence that he was good enough in Elliana's eyes in spite of the mistakes she knew about...

It was refreshing, and healing, but also scary, and haunting.

To break free from his past, move on from his mistakes, and just have her?

Could she be his last chance to try everything anew? Could she be his clean slate?

When her voice broke, Solas stopped kissing her hands but kept them close within his own, and looked at her with a deep frown. His eyes filled with sadness over causing this wave of sorrow for her as one of his hands broke free to cup her cheek.

"Don't cry..." he whispered softly. His hand wandered down to her neck before Solas leaned in to plant the softest of kisses on her now vacant cheek. He made it last, feeling it impossible to keep his lips away from her warmth. His lungs quivered with delight and comfort, his heart feeling heavy and light in his chest as it raced.

That was when the horses started grumbling and growling, tugging at their ties and kicking the air.

Solas promptly removed his lips from Elliana's cheek and stared at them as he held his breath. As much as he hated this disturbance... he knew that only the foolish choose to ignore it when their horses get nervous out of nowhere.

"Something's wrong. We are not alone," he whispered and glanced around. His eyes fixed on something behind Elliana, right next to the fire.

He froze, immediately.

"H-How..."

Regrettably, he got up from his chair and approached the fire, picking up whatever he had spotted next to it.

It was a bouquet of violet and yellow flowers – cornflowers and primroses, just like the ones on Earl's grave – tied together by the very leather strap of Solas' necklace. The bone of the wolf's jaw was broken in half.

"That was not here before. I left the pendant with the statue! How did it--"

He heard it before he saw it, but he saw it in time.

Solas lunged forward and grasped Elliana's hand to drag her away with force, almost yanking her arm out in the process; He pulled her in front of him to shield her when a blazing fire crashed right through his tent and grazed his back, letting him cry out in pain. The campfire reacted with an outburst of energy powerful enough to send them to the dirty ground.

His entire body laid atop hers like layers of armor, her head deeply hidden within his protective embrace. Solas' tent caught fire within two heartbeats and burned like Andraste's pyre. The horses went crazy, trying desperately to free themselves from their ties.

Once Solas was certain that they were safe, he pulled back slightly and stared down at Elliana with terror in his eyes. The pain on his back was completely forgotten at the sight of her.

She loved him. Just as he was. She loved him as just Solas. She loved him as an ancient. And she loved him even if his actions and choices hadn’t been the right solution. She didn’t need perfection…she wanted him.

This was his choice now. She had laid everything she could out on the table for himself and she could also tell that at some point, someone or something had made Solas believe that he wasn’t good enough, that he needed to be perfect, that things had to align in some unattainable way…

Perhaps it was because he was an Ancient. Immortal, potentially. Maybe he had shaped worlds and lives for so long he didn’t know how to let go and live his own. More than likely, his regret was festering and burning him. And he wasn’t ready to let it go.

And if he couldn’t let it go, then he would never choose her.

Somehow that made it so much harder for Elliana, the more she thought about it. Tears sprang to her eyes when he told her not to cry, an automatic reaction. She didn’t speak, simply stayed silent as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

And by the gods, just a kiss on her cheek and his hand on the back of her neck…it was enough to set her soul aflame.

That was, until he suddenly pulled back. She too heard the horses begin to grow restless, and as someone who has grown up being attuned to nature it made her instantly pay attention to their surroundings.

When she saw the flowers, her eyes narrowed and she frowned in confusion.

“That doesn’t make sense. We saw that in those memories it was you who were manipulating things..and if you didn’t do that-“ she started to ask who would be following them now, when it all happened so quickly.

It was not the first time she’d survived an explosion since she want to the Chantry, but it certainly wasn’t easier. The wind had been knocked out of her when Solas had tackled her to the ground. She was gasping to suck air back into her lungs, her eyes a bit foggy with the force of them hitting the ground, but for the most part, she was fine.

“Solas!” She didn’t even have time to answer his question, she reached for his back in a panic. “Vhenan!” She tried to wiggle out from under him so she could see any damage the fire might have caused.

"I'm okay!" he forced out, relieved that she seemed to be uninjured. Solas allowed her to get out from under him, although he made sure to keep her close. He cupped her cheek to make her focus on him.

"Go free the horses, quickly! They will return once everything is safe. Then get your weapon. I'll handle this!"

He forced himself up, feeling the heat of the fire reach for his face. With a swift but strong movement of his arm, a shockwave of winter threw itself onto the tent and extinguished the fire. Solas wasted no time and rummaged through the burnt ruins to retrieve his staff. It was damaged, but still usable.

Another fireball shot through the darkness of the night. Solas spotted it in time and blocked it with a wall of ice. It shattered and enclosed him in a brief storm of winds that disappeared quickly, and he had to protect his face from the icy crystals.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" he shouted into the distance.

"I don't answer to you, Solas. Not anymore," a male voice growled back. Deep and full of rage. Inhuman.

In the dark, another fireball formed itself, dancing upon the palm of a hand. It reflected against fabric, a face, a pointy ear, and yet, it didn't; The being seemed almost translucent, dancing along the edges of the Veil.

The left eye glowed purple. The other... did not.

“We have to get you something for your back.” She hated that she wasn’t a mage, unable to heal him at a whim. Instead, she could only provide what aid the Dalish had taught her growing up. None of which would be helpful if they were currently under attack.

She whipped her head to the terrified horses, nodding as she stood suddenly and made her way back to them. Wrenching the two daggers she always kept at her hips free, she sliced through both of their rope bonds, sending them bolting into the forest and away from danger.

She pulled her father’s bow from her pack nearby, setting an arrow in preparation and then turning to rejoin Solas after he’d managed to grab his staff.

She was covered in dirt and singed with ash on her brow and in her red hair, the mark at her hand sparking. She wasn’t sure if she should use the devastating power she wielded with it, especially not when Solas said Davhal’s name.

So..that was who was after them.

But..if that was the case…wasn’t he dead?

"Davhal, if this is you... We can talk!" Solas stuttered.

"We are long over talking, Solas," he answered, his voice ghost-like and layered with a thousand songs. "Talking is your thing, isn't it?! You talk and talk and talk, but when you are required to actually do something, you destroy everything!"

"Please, Davhal, what I did was—"

"Necessary, right? Isn't that what you want to say?"

"... At the time, I thought it was. But I know now that it was wrong, that you deserved so much more than my misled judgement!" Solas begged.

"You should've pulled through. You should've killed me. Then, at least, you would've succeeded with your cruelty!"

The more Solas' eyes grew acustomed to the darkness again, the more he realized that Davhal didn't seem... real. At least not in a physical sense.

His body didn't throw a shadow as the light from the fire on his palm shone right through him, and the Veil behind him rippled ever so slightly. The colours were off and strange, almost dream-like.

Solas glanced at the sparking Anchor in Elliana's hand and leaned in to her, whispering, "This is either a spirit imitating his anger, or his remnant from the memories. Your mark is reacting to it... The Veil is thin here; There must be a rift nearby. Whatever this is... This is not the real Davhal."

The fire in the being's hand enlarged, sparks of ember dancing through the night. A hiss echoed along the Veil, a rumble of wrath illuminated.

“Solas,” she took a moment to very gently cup his face with both her hands. Yes, they were in danger, but he needed to hear this as much as Davhal did.

“Real or not, he is right, his pain is real. And maybe what Davhal or whatever this spirit is need…is an apology. You have regret for your actions. I’ve seen that you do, now he needs to see it.”

She looked up at him, blue eyes sincere as she traced is cheekbone with her fingers.

“Sometimes, no matter your intention, admitting that you wronged someone and apologizing is the best way to move forward.”

Then, Elliana stepped back from Solas and turned to face this spirit, fire and rage and all, with her hands held up in surrender.

“Davhal, I see you’re hurting. I’ve seen your pain. I’m so sorry about your father.” Elliana meant it. “But your father raised you to be compassionate, to show mercy just like he did for you when you he found you as a child.”

She took another step closer. If worst came to worse, she could try to close the rift and stop this, but this being, this spirit, whatever he was, was hurting. He needed closure. He reminded her of a more rage-filled Cole.

“Your father knew you were good.” She said softly, hoping that he wouldn’t grow more enraged for mentioning his father like this. But she had to try.

And while he listened to her speak to Davhal — or his memory, or whatever embodied his essence — he knew that his love for Elliana grew even more than he could possibly comprehend.

Her gentleness, her patience, the love and empathy in her beautiful voice... With all of Davhal's memories still encapsulating his heart as though they were his own, and with everything that had come before any of the Merrits existed, he felt like she was speaking to him, as well.

Solas attempted to stop her from approaching Davhal, but his hand only met air. He was absolutely not comfortable with her shielding him from danger and getting closer to the same being who could effortlessly burn down entire camps, but he forced himself to remember all those times she had faced even more dangerous endeavours.

Meanwhile, Davhal listened, twisting the fireball above his hand with impatient movements of his fingers. Eventually, he clenched that hand into a fist, the fire disintegrating into rage-filled sparks.

"You know nothing of my pain! I was trapped in this memory for ages upon ages! One of your clans left me in a cave to die! What would you know about compassion?!"

"Davhal, please!" Solas begged, taking a step closer, desperate for his attention.

"I am sorry," he emphasized. "I am so, so sorry for every single ounce of pain that has been caused to you and your family. I am sorry that you got hurt even more because of my failure—"

"You are only sorry because you thought you were me! Because you feel my hurt!" Davhal shouted back, his voice cracking with both emotion and wrath.

"I do feel your hurt. Every little bit of it... And you want me punished for what I have done. I understand that more than you think—"

"Earl was my family, Solas! MINE! What gives you the right?!"

"Nothing, Davhal. Absolutely nothing does..."

Solas took some steps closer, raising his hands in surrender much like Elliana. He kept his voice low and cautious along with every single one of his movements. Behind Davhal, the tear in the Veil became more evident, its green lights shining through Davhal's being.

"You should have killed me thoroughly, not him..." he sobbed, "Why did you... Why did you have to kill my father?"

Solas swallowed his tears.

"Because he would have done anything to stop me from killing you. Because I couldn't force him to wake from his dream in order to hold him back... I had to make sure that I had enough power left to do... what I had to do... And because I wanted to spare him from watching you, his beloved son, die from the hand of a friend. All of it was for naught. I know that now... If I could, I would prevent all the pain that has been caused."

Then, for a moment, it was peaceful. The fiery heat that radiated from Davhal cooled down, and he knelt from losing his strength. Solas followed, reaching out his hand for him.

"I am sorry," Solas said again, quietly and sincerely. "I am sorry you and Earl were hurt. I am sorry about what happened to Greta. And I am sorry that you were trapped in your grief for so long because I failed... My friend, she is right. Earl would not have wanted for you to be vengeful."

Davhal stared down at his empty hands and shook his head, quietly weeping to himself. He briefly contemplated taking Solas' hand, but refrained from it.

Then, he nodded and said, "You're right... He would not have wanted that for me..."

Suddenly, Davhal pursed his lips and stared into Solas' eyes.

"But he is too dead to wish for anything for me."

It happened before Solas could stop it in time. But whatever — or whoever — suddenly stood between them, could. Davhal summoned a wave of fire, yet before he could let it devour Solas and Elliana whole, he was thrown back by a shockwave of kinetic energy. Davhal's voice echoed as he shouted in despair, thrown against the edges of the rift that had manifested behind him.

Solas' entire view was blocked by a massive hat as he pushed himself back and up again. The figure turned around, his thin and scarily fragile frame forming a silhouette against the rift.

"Inquisitor! Close the rift, and you shall be safe!" yelled none other than Cole, himself.

She kept her hands outstretched, willing her mark to stay calm and not flicker with the Fade’s green energy. She didn’t want to do anything that might scare Davhal or set him off.

“My people are not always the most compassionate. That does not excuse their actions and what they did to you.” She said, though she knew that that wound for Davhal would never fully go away.

“Davhal, you have the opportunity to make things better than what you faced in your life. You have the opportunity to live for yourself and for Earl. Choose the path that he would want for you, please!” She insisted.

Though, she had to stop herself when Solas began to speak. She was proud of him for apologizing to Davhal for everything that happened. It was all she could do, and she was pleased to see that he was learning.

There was even a moment or two where she thought Solas was making real progress with Davhal. She stayed beside him, ready to help if necessary, but this was about the two of them.

However, what happened next was so fast. Cole- there in front of them, insisting she close the rift. And Solas in distress, begging her not to.

She would always choose Solas.

“Cole! We’re pulling him out!” She said, her voice carrying the authority of the Inquisitor.

"If I use magic to pull him out, the Fade's gravitation will tear him apart. We have to try to do it manually!" Solas pleaded and dropped his staff like a heavy weight, storming towards the rift.

"Help me free him! Together!"

"NO!" Davhal cried, his voice echoing with the song of the Fade. He tried to move away from Solas' touch, but couldn't.

"Don't touch me!" he cried.

"Let me help you, Davhal! Please!"

Cole joined beside Solas in an instant. Solas had no idea if grabbing his arms was even possible, but with the Fade torn open and right in front of them, he was hopeful that his expectation to do so was enough to make an impact.

But Davhal needed to want to be helped, as well.

The rift tore at him, dragging him in deeper every second. Davhal growled, fighting its gut-wrenching gravity.

"Everything you touch burns down, Solas!"

"I cannot let the Fade claim you. It will repell you like a foreign body and shred you over and over again! I will not let that happen to you!"

"I don't want your help!"

Cole chimed in.

"Afraid... So afraid. I don't know what the Fade will bring, but I know that he will betray me again. If I am torn to shreds, will my suffering end?"

Davhal stared at him, first confusion, then shock, and then desperation distorting his features.

"You can hear my thoughts?"

"Your emotions," Cole answered. "I can feel them. Fighting, frightened, fierce. I don't want to die, but I cannot take more agony. I am too fragmented to live, but too real to fade away. Let us help you. Let us make you whole again. Another chance at peace."

Davhal lowered his head and started sobbing again. The tears were invisible within his translucent, unreal being, but the ground below him trickled with faint light when they fell.

Before they knew it, Davhal's free arm reached out, his hand grabbing tightly onto Solas'. The moment they touched, Davhal's arm lost its transparency, and instead of a ghostly limb, real skin and bones reflected the lights of the rift.

Solas grasped onto Davhal's real arm instantly, stunned at the sight, but focused nonetheless.

When Davhal finally consented to being helped, she felt a surge of hope that maybe he could be saved. Cole was right in everything that he was saying, scared, alone, exhausted, hurting.

“Come on!” She yelled when Solas told them to pull, so that was exactly what she did. Standing beside Cole and Solas, she pulled as hard as she possibly could.

“You’re alright Davhal,” she said as they managed to slow free him from this Fade prison. “We’re going to get you out!”

And she was right.

After several minutes of hard pulling, Davhal felt like of the Fade and right into Elliana’s arms. She managed to catch him, helping him to lie back on the ground and smoothing his hair from his face.

Elliana had been pulled and fallen from the Fade before. The first time had been alone, the second had been with Dorian and both had been jarring. She knew he was probably overwhelmed.

Every single touch solidified his being more.

The shiny, translucent consistency of his body gave way to real flesh and skin, tanned with patches of paleness. His face gained more features; The birthmark over his right eye took shape, along with his light brown hair as it followed the laws of physics, and his clothes started ripping under the force of his saviours' relentless holds.

Davhal grimaced, feeling their hope and strength pull him back into the world of the waking, but the gravity of the Fade was much the same, if not stronger. He bared his teeth and growled in pain, fighting against the feeling of getting ripped apart by all forces. Every centimeter he moved was anguish; The fright that washed over his whole being was agonizing, but begging to break free, like a scream that had been stuck in his throat for too long and was finally able to break out.

And when Elliana, Cole, and Solas finally pulled him out of the rift, Davhal cried, and bawled, and howled, until he was finally free.

He pushed himself forward and promptly fell as he lost balance, right into Elliana's arms. His back was met with the ground before he could catch a breath. His heart was racing ferociously in his chest and he clutched it, wild eyes staring around in complete sensory overstimulation. The tears that rolled from his eyes were endless.

But they proved that he was alive, and real.

Elliana's warm touch and soothing voice were like... the softest, most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. Still, the feeling of the real world crashing down on his real body was too much to handle at once.

Solas pushed himself up and approached, looking down at him with relief and sympathy.

"Breathe, Davhal. Feel the warmth of her hand on your cheek. The cold air on your skin, the grass pressing against your back. Focus your eyes on Elliana's face," he said calmly, attempting to help ground him. As both him and Elliana already understood what that must feel like, Cole felt no need to verbalize Davhal's emotions.

Davhal tried his best to follow the instructions. Slowly but surely, he grew accustomed to how his body processed his surroundings, and his heavy, shaky breathing eventually calmed down. His eyes got lost in Elliana's stunning blue hues.

Out of breath, he tried to speak, but needed a couple of attempts.

"Y-You are... beautiful..." he croaked.

Solas promptly smiled and said, "Something we agree on after all..."

Davhal was heartbroken, that much was evident. Having to feel everything from his emotions to his body must have been more than a little overwhelming.

“Easy, lethallin. You are alright now.” She said softly, smoothing the hair back from his face with endless amounts of patience.

She wondered what it would mean for him now. He was alive..but where would he go? What would become of him? The Inquisition could offer him a home but..would he even want to go with them?

Elliana blushed when Davhal called her beautiful. She felt windswept and a little overwhelmed, but his words were sweet nonetheless.

“Sweet talker,” she told both Davhal and Solas, shaking her head slightly as she helped him sit up and stabilize. Her fingers caressed the side of Davhal’s cheek. She would give him as much time as he needed to fully adjust to his current position.

“Take it easy when you start to move,” once she was sure he was as good as he could be given the circumstances, Elliana turned to Cole with her brows raised in surprise.

He lowered his head and breathed.

"I was needed here. And I still am," said Cole when Elliana asked how he got here. "I sensed that my friends were in danger."

Solas smiled slightly. When he got closer, Davhal scooted away just a little bit, still understandably wary of him. Solas noticed, and stopped.

“Well,” she made sure that Davhal was stable before moving to stand beside Cole, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m thankful for your arrival. You truly have always shown up at the best times.”

She turned back to Davhal, approaching and crouching down beside him. She observed him as best she could, wondering if there was anything more she could do for him.

Davhal raised his gaze to meet with Elliana's when she joined him again, feeling how heavy his head was compared to his still weak neck. He was exhausted beyond measure, taking deep, tired breaths.

"I... I don't know... I am so tired..." he murmured softly, running his hands through his hair.

"To be made real is one of the most difficult things to go through as a former spiritual being," Solas said empathetically. !I strongly assume you were a memory... but I don't yet know how the Rift helped in giving you a real body. You can feel the world on your skin now. You will feel hungry, tired, exhausted... And I know I have a lot to answer for to deserve your trust, but I am more than willing to help you through this. As is Elliana. And, I am sure, Cole - as a former spirit of Compassion - wants to help you, as well."

Davhal sighed again and shook his head tiredly.

"I... don't know. I feel so... wrong... so misplaced. I wanted to kill you, but..."

He sighed, and stopped talking, the mere weight of his own voice too much to carry.

"It's all gone now," Cole intervened. As so often, he looked into the emotions of those who needed guidance, and painted a picture of them.

"It's all too much. The world, it's scary. I'm not meant for it. Everything feels wrong. Twisted, turned, tortured... What do I do now?"

"Exhaustion has many faces, Davhal," Solas said kindly. "Once you have rested, it will be better."

Davhal stared into the grass, opening his mouth, but nothing came out. Forming words with his body was painful and tiring. Thankfully, Cole was there to speak for him.

"I don't want to be real. I only didn't want the Fade to take me, twist me. I don't want to be angry. It was all for naught. I want... rest. I want to rest how I rested before."

The young elf looked up at Cole with an expression of sorrow, and nodded. Solas frowned slightly.

"If I take you back to the memory, you will return to reliving it over and over again."

"No," Cole said. "He means this."

He approached them, palms combined to hold the jawbone amulet that had been broken in half. Solas first looked down at it, and then at Davhal again.

"You rested inside the pendant, Davhal? Is that true?"

He nodded.

Solas let out a breath of astonishment, the realization shaking his very core.

"You were the key all along... You called for my attention when my scar was torn open. You made the amulet glow with magic. And when I unlocked it earlier, then used it to activate the portal with the statue... You were freed. And all of your anger was let loose after ages of slumber."

Without thinking about it, seeing his fingers move through his hair, she moved to brush her own through his in an attempt to soothe him. She knew he probably didn’t have the words to explain his exhaustion. So when Cole chimed in for him, she felt a surge of respect and relief for their spirit friend.

“Well done, Cole.” She said gently. “Well done.” His compassion and his understanding of Davhal was what they all needed to hear, especially because perhaps he was helping Davhal work out his feelings and how to communicate them in real time.

“You were the one calling..” she said, her hands pausing in Davhal’s hair. It seemed like a lifetime again, when the amulet lit up and this search for answers led them to him. “We heard you. We heard you, and you’re free now.”

Solas reached out in an attempt to help him steady himself, but Davhal flinched away from his hand, holding out his own to show that he was alright. Plus, with Elliana right beside him, Solas was sure that he had more than enough support.

His heart warmed at the sight, feeling glad that she was there to soothe Davhal - and that he accepted it so effortlessly.

Davhal looked upon the amulet with fascination and yearning, gently touching it with his delicate fingers.

"No," he said softly at her question, shaking his head.

"I don't think my anger will ever be fully out of me. It still burns within me... What happened to me, to us, was not fair."

He frowned, and so did Solas.

"But when I look at this, this talisman, I feel... calmer. I never wanted to be free, I just wanted... release."

"Release from the memories you were trapped within?" Solas asked softly. Davhal nodded.

"Can I... go back? Into the amulet? Where I was... weightless?"

Solas paused.

"I don't know if that is possible, now that you are made of flesh and bone," he uttered quietly, approaching him carefully. "I can try, of course. The gravity between your essence and the pendant is still there, and since the memories that were trapped within are released, you should be safe in there. Are you... sure, that you want this?"

Davhal nodded.

Though, she looked somewhat surprised that he wanted to return to the amulet. Blinking several times, she took a couple of steps closer so she could meet his gaze.

“You’re..you’re sure?” But she saw him nod to Solas, and she wanted to respect his wishes. He deserved to make whatever choice would ease his pain the most.

“If that is what you need…then I wish you nothing but the best, Davhal.” She said, taking one of his hands in her own and pressing a little kiss to it before stepping back.

"Thank you, Elliana... I will make sure to remember that," he said softly, eyes quickly drawn back to the pendant. His eyes were fixed on it, never blinking.

For a moment, it was quiet. Then, Solas approached some more.

"I will do my very best to help you return into the amulet. But Davhal, if I fail—"

"Then, at least, he will not fall apart like a memory without a place to hold it, because he is real now," Cole interrupted. Astonished, Solas first looked at him, then back at Davhal to see if he approved. With a nod, Davhal made it evident.

"I will live, and... adjust," he said. "I want that, one day... But I am not ready for that yet. I want... I need... calm... And home."

Solas frowned at him.

"I want to be able to give you what you need, Davhal. However, you understandably do not trust me after what I have done to you. I cannot say for certain that you will not be turned or twisted against your nature if you doubt the intentions of my magic. You have gained a body, yes, which strengthens your manifestation in this world, but your core is still spiritual. I don't want to destroy that by having to tap into the Fade and allowing it to influence the rite. I don't want to... destroy you."

She looked to Solas, her gaze almost sad, because she had hoped that he might be able to help Davhal find what he needed to be whole and at least content for a while.

“Do you what you must,” she insisted softly, hoping that he might be able to at least find a compromise that everyone could be pleased with.

"I trust Solas. He is my friend. He wants to help. Always. The Inquisitor Elliana Lavellan trusts him, too."

Solas looked touched by Cole's words, although still unconvinced, unsure where he was going with this.

She moved to stand beside Davhal so she could look him fully in the eyes as she spoke.

“Because, Cole is right. His intentions are good. He never intends to hurt anyone. And deep down, I know all that Solas wants is to help. Sometimes things get lost in translation as many things do. As the Inquisitor, I’m sure many people have doubted the choices I’ve made, even if I thought they were the right ones.”

The vibrant and blinding light temporarily disoriented Elliana. The only solid thing that she knew she had was Solas, her hand still locked tightly into his. There was an accompanying sensation of being thrown, though she remained upright and somewhat lucid.

When the brightness faded, she was panting softly, attempting to calm her stuttering heart, but what helped to keep her grounded was the feeling of Solas’ fingers interwoven with her own. It all came crashing down on her then, when she realized they were back in front of the wolf statue.

It had felt like days…maybe even a lifetime that they’d been gone. But somehow, seeing it now, it made her realize they’d been gone only hours.

And more importantly, that all that Solas knew about himself had been confused, even incorrect.

“Solas,” she suddenly said once she felt sturdy enough to process all she’d seen, turning so she could face him fully and taking his face tenderly between her hands. There was so much to process— the fact that he was not Earl’s son, that he seemed to be older than she’d ever considered, and, worse, that he had killed two people.

“Solas,” she whispered his name again, nothing but tenderness and adoration in her tone as she did so. If she was reeling, she knew he must have been..devastated. Lost. Perhaps even a bit unhinged by what he’d seen. “No matter what, it’s going to be okay,” she insisted softly.

He quivered, coughed, tried to breathe, but failed. The skin on his face and hands tingled as he felt the warmth of Elliana's hands on his cheeks. Before he found the strength to say anything, all he could do was stare into her beautiful eyes and let his tears fall like the heavy weight that they were.

Solas slipped out of her grasp, and he fell to his knees once more, covering his mouth as he lost his battle against the sobs of terror that were shaking his entire being. He cried his broken heart out like his life depended on it, trembling like a leaf in the wind. And while his sobs turned more desperate, Solas let out the loudest, most gutwrenching scream he could possibly create. It was so deep, so powerful that he tasted blood once his lungs had nothing left in them anymore, and his next gasp for air was despairing, as though he regretted that he could still breathe at all.

The wolf dimmed its lights before all magic faded, much like Solas' energy.

"I remember it now... I-I remember everything," he breathed beneath his sobs.