SOJU PRINCESS.

Setting: Secluded farm, 1930's, Great Depression

Characters: James - manwhore                     Timothy Hamilton - naive                     Augusta Hamilton - hot                     Gertrude&Beatrice - witches

The Great Depression had just begun and James and i were packing our essentials so that we could be relocated. Our small community was being rounded up and moved to farms in the middle of nowhere so that soldiers could begin quartering in our lovely beach front apartments. James and I specifically were going to be living with a Mr and Mrs Hamilton.

As the janky traditional yellow school bus stopped in front of our door, I saw some of the soldiers setting up their personal items in our bathroom.... Gross.

I don't remember anything after that until we arrived at the Hamilton's farm. 32 year old Timothy Hamilton stood on his white wrap around porch with excitement in his eyes, He looked awfully young to own his own farm, but he had a very welcoming aura. Mrs 24 year old Augusta Hamilton looked like Jessica Rabbits' doppleganger. Who knows how she ended up as a farmers wife. 

Timothy was one of those adults that has the mentality of a 10 year old. He spent all his free time working on original board game ideas, while Augusta perfected her fashion choices and make up.

Second day at the Hamilton farm.... I opened the door to James' room without knocking and dammmmnnnnn!! Fool was doin the dirty with Augusta! Right when I slammed the door shut, two witches in midnight blue robes and porcelain skin popped up behind me. Gertrude and Beatrice.

Gertrude and Beatrice barged in James' room and handcuffed Augusta, waved their cliche magic wands and she disappeared! They then turned to me and asked "if you could have any pet in the world, what would it be?" ...... they made my dreams come true by turning James into a baby  brontosaurus!!

Beatrice told me that James would change back into a human once the farmer found Augusta and she told him what she did. However, later that night I realized that could be quite a long time from now because Gertrude was a psycho and put Augusta in a hole she had dug, put a board on top, parked a car over it, and put a silencing spell on her.

Life just continued as usual for me and the farmer Timothy. He never questioned what happened to his wife or James, never asked me about my baby dinosaur, never asked who Gertrude and Beatrice were etc. James was now a dinosaur and Augusta was locked up in a hole in the ground for cheating on her husband. The witches kept coming around to make sure Timothy hadn't found Augusta, they told me if I didn't keep him away they'd turn me into a cockroach. So any time that Timothy got remotely close to finding the hole under the parked car, I'd lure him away with RedVines and tell him that if he wanted some candy he had to follow the trail made out of licorice. He was child like so he complied with my request easily.