Soft Boi's Inc

✧(๑>◡<๑)✧

“I did not eat those brownies. You have no proof of that occurring in the slightest. The only thing I had similar to that were Akira’s desserts that he made for me. And how dare you accuse me of using Haru’s position. She is my friend and I will not stand here and take that from you.” Oh, the temptation to smash the smug boy’s face was starting to rise. But for the sake of trying to keep it semi cordial for Akira and Sae was keeping her in check… for the moment.

“Don’t worry about that last part either. I truly believe you and her are friends, and I can see it is truly genuine and obviously not built upon something as shallow as that. You’re a petter person than that Niijima-san, and I know that... However I do still think you do use it to your waistlines advantage.”

“Says the adipose riddled detective. Tell me, is it exhausting to wobble those jowls of yours while poking fun at me? And please, I could guess that a cake from you would taste terrible along with most of your cooking, hence why you have to go out for fast food all the time supplementing to your increase in girth. Did Sae bring you enough doughnuts for you to help crack the case, or were you too unfocused due to needing even more food to cram down your greedy gullet to provide any assistance?”

“Oh please, I’m a wonderful cook with enough evidence to back it up. Those brownies that you so greedily finished and not even leaving one extra one for your sister? My creation. I baked them the other day as a token of my appreciation for your sister’s hard work and dedication to her craft, and you gobbled them down like the blue ribbon hog you’re becoming. I eat fast food out of necessity to save time, but you? I believe you’re simply taking advantage of Okumura-san’s privileges to get in your fix as much as you want. It’s not hard to tell when you’re sporting a taunt gut like the one in front of you.”

Akechi is a detective prodigy, so of course he’s great at bullshitting his way out of sticky situations.

“You can still try to do that with those sausages you call fingers? Perhaps you require a prescription for corrective lenses if you think that I’m in worse shape than you, ample Akechi.”

“Ah I see, word play is creative. I’m surprised you were able to come up with something so clever truth be told, considering your mind must always be on food 24/7 due to your own size. It’s alright to admit you’re in worse shape you know. Once you do, I’ll prep you the nicest and largest “at least you tried” cake just for you, Massive Makoto.”