isabelle

i really thought nothing would break my heart more than my best friend ghosting my unexpectedly did.. I almost raised my brother.. he still hasn’t told me him and his wife are expecting, he called mf cousin who he lived with for awhile. I feel like he resents me for my mistakes; and I can’t change them, but I can’t help but feel upset. My fault is drinking too much, and he forgives my father who did it his whole childhood but not me, why not me?

this feels very difficult considering all i have to do is swallow some pills and then just never wake up again.

screaming into the void i’m sorry over and over again to the one man who never deserved to put up with me

i just don’t wanna be around anymore. all i do is hurt people. but i can’t take myself out. i wish someone would. i just want to be gone to the world

what am i really doing here? what am i holding on to? the future i have no hope for? i love more than anything that my brother’s fiancée asked me to be in her bridal party.. im still angry. i’m still here for that, and it gets harder and harder. but i will wear that dress and walk down that isle. It’s the only reason im still here.. but my family shouldn’t know that.