Ship Happens

BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED. The amount of bots thinking I want ~*hot pussy tonite*~ is too damn high.

Hi, I'm Devin, and I'm not that great at talking about myself. Some relevant informations are that I'm well past 'Merican drinking age, have been an enlisted deviant in the Navy for 13 years, and belong to no fandom in particular (though this seems to be a hockey blog by proxy). I have no diagnosis to bring to show and tell, though my brain is sometimes on it's own fucking program due to having suffered a severe traumatic brain injury.

Aside from the trials, tribulations, and grumbles about life in the world's greatest Navy, you'll find:

Memes

Birbs

.gifs I've made

#ShaveOfTheDay

Music videos

Prince Philip (gay for him but not Gay™)

Commentary/rants

Assorted posts about the sports teams I'm interested in to varying degrees, to include:

🏒 - Detroit Red Wings, Ottawa Senators, Utah Hockey Club Mammoth, Boston Bruins, Norfolk Admirals (ECHL)

🏈 - Atlanta Falcons, UNC Tarheels

⚾ - Chicago White Sox (I hate it here)

I DO NOT "SHIP" PEOPLE THEY ARE NOT PACKAGES.

And lastly, attempts at me practicing self-care and yeeting the trash from my head.

Yesterday, I had myself a good shave and went to pick up my expensive deployment purchase.

Our Weapons Department had set up a group sale with Daniel Defense for 30% off. Used that $1,776 to treat myself to the DDM4 V7 in 5.56. Easily the most badass momento of my naval career.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR THE FALCONS ACTUALLY DRAFTED ME OH MY GOD.

Anyway here's another example of why the US Navy is the pinnacle of badassery and "find out" diplomacy.

It's also why I immediately lost respect for the administration that called CAPT Crozier "too stupid to command" upon his yeeting.

So, as can be expected, stuff changes during deployments. New laws get passed, maybe new family members (this happened to me my first deployment it's a story I'll tell if y'all want), etc.

I never thought that video games would change. M'k now I don't mean new ones getting released I mean a particular game itself has changed. For example, I found out that in Madden 23, I can't play "Face of the Franchise" because it requires an internet connection for some fuck fuck reason. So I couldn't play that while at sea. I have the ability to do Franchise as a player though, which is the same without the fancy interviews and decisions, because it's an offline mode. I come back, start the game up again, only to get a message that the servers for this game will be shut down in July, which means I can't play career mode at all. I'm aware this is a normal thing once games get to be of a certain age, it just never affected me because I don't play online.

So I look into the newer versions of Madden to see which is best for this to find that it's not called "Superstar" and it's been upgraded which HELL YEAH BROTHER, but now EA has taken away the ability to do Franchise mode as a player. So now I can ONLY play online (technically). 😭

Excuse me??? I come back from all that bullshit *gestures at my 11 month deployment* to find out THE SEA DUKE COLLECTION IS INCOMPLETE?

DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO JUST....USE NIVEA? LIKE SOME PEASANT?

BEHOLD, MY FIRST POST-DEPLOYMENT PURCHASES (aside from import beer). Duke Cannon did some collaborating and I exhibited a lack of self-control...but whatever, they're limited drops and there is immensely worse things I could be spending my money on.

AT LEAST Y'ALL KNOW I AM CLEAN.

*sigh* Since the buy-out, products have been reformulated, and not always for the better. The oil control face wash was the one thing I found that actually worked, and with using it and wet shaving, I've had considerably less breakouts.

The new stuff on the right has salicylic acid in it, just like every product I'd used before, which never worked and irritated my face.

“'The game features furious tweet battles against Iranian schoolgirls, low-flow shower heads, and other threats to American freedom like DEI and The Pope,' the group said in a statement to the local CBS affiliate."

It's not an airline ticket, major home appliance, or event ticket but fuck me I cry everytime I place an order, which is like once every 2 years.

I'm finally home.

326 days, 5 seized oil tankers, three AORs (4th, 5th, 6th Fleet), one el presidente, one major class A fire, and a PUC.