...even for an audience of one. ~ No, I will not act my age. I remain old enough to know better, young enough not to care; old enough to have had my heart broken a time or two, young enough to still believe in Love. Hopeless Romantic. Unapologetically Benedict obsessed, though I do post other content as well. I write romantic/smutty fanfic on AO3 as BeautifullyObsessed.
So, here I am again, getting ready to move into my car. My application for short-term disability back pay has been temporarily rejected due to issues with my ID. Now, I'm waiting on my duplicate, updated driver license because the first one never arrived at my mailing address. It's gonna be a full month until I get it and can finally appeal the decision to reject. It feels like everything I do is a lesson in futility.
Mainly because of the now inhumane delays (see above) that continue to keep me from getting my medical sick leave back pay. Finally got an invitation to go live with my brother & his wife in Florida--but doing so means losing my Connecticut-based Medicade. My meds alone are $1,800+/month, so that's a no-go.
Focusing hour by hour is the only way to get through this. Daytime temps are going to be in the mid-90'sF for the next several days, which obviously makes my situation more dire. I honestly don't know how much longer the McDonald's staff is going to let me hang out there to escape the heat (I do get something to eat every couple hours, though not good for my low-salt diet). Any help to spend even one night in a room with a bed would be heaven sent.
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Am very slowly reading The Sworn Sword because, frankly, 2027 is such a long time away and I need new (to me) Dunk content like, I dunno, iron tablets for extremely anemic blood. And seriously, I have to stop every few pages just to marvel at my man, Book!Dunk. Cos he's The Man. I won't give spoilers ofc, but take my word for it. Page 208. When you get there, you'll see it exactly.
You bet your sweet ass that I'm going to be breathless with anticipation and glee every moment of watching Season 2. What makes it even more deliciously anticipatory is that Peter Claffey has said TSS is his favorite of the three novellas--I fully understand why and I know in my bones he gets Dunk exactly as GRRM intended and THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE. Alleluia, amen.
I never in my life envisioned a character so thoroughly owning my heart.
gif by my girl @aegonsdrunkenpoetry , who also fully understands the vice grip Ser Duncan has on my heart
Just finished The Sworn Sword ahead of the schedule I had set for myself. I am crying. Actually crying from a novella, dammit. Maybe because I'm overtired and truthfully, worried about the way my body is handling the physical rigors I am facing right now, but it's been a hella long time since I had a satisfying cry over a book. Book!Dunk is such an amazing, pragmatic, homely-wise, and quite beautiful soul. Truly the finest male character of all the men I've seen or read that sprang from GRRM's mind. And he's the exact comfort character that I remain in desperate need of.
C'mon 2027. Gallop apace, you fiery footed steeds...cos if Ira & Co do as excellent a job on Season 2 as they did with The Hedge Knight, we're in for a most wondrous & satisfying treat!
storyboard by @kwistowee ; tale is told far from my usual pattern (Duncan x OFC) especially for @aegonsdrunkenpoetry
contains yearning, passion, lovers long separated finally reunited
Wringing your hands as you paced the room, you had repeatedly counted the steps from wall-to-wall, length-wise first, then the steps from the window on the hearth side of the bed to the door. You could walk those paths with your eyes closed now or in pitch dark if need be, and none of that mattered. All that mattered this night was that he would come as he had promised. For you had learned in those sweet, callow days when the love you had shared was new and vital, what the rest of the world had come to know since. Ser Duncan the Tall was a man of his word.
In your mind's eye, you saw him again, so tall and so fair, fully appareled in armor polished to a fine sheen, the Knight who had lived in your heart for ten years, and in the comely profile of his son, Callum. Too tall for his age and as gangly as Duncan must've been as he roamed the streets of Flea Bottom. Prone to scraped knees and elbows, your beautiful boy, though already he refrained from running to you for cleaning such little wounds and for blessing them with a mother's healing kisses. His hands were gentle just as his father's had always been, but also as cunning as your own. And his eyes, as wide and as blue as Duncan's; those who had seen him from his cradle days would quietly remark how like that long-gone hedge knight's eyes they were, but you had always been proud of that despite the calumny they heaped upon you behind your back for bearing a bastard child. Proud of your lad, you remained with every passing year, and grateful to the Mother for granting you the mercy of seeing your true love's eyes forever in your son's.
Certainly, you felt anxious, but not because you doubted Duncan in the least. The two of you had so much to discuss, the future of your boy being in the balance. You hadn't needed the Gift to tell you he would be eager to meet with you this night, for his eyes as he had departed the royal pavilion earlier--before you'd even thought to send a message--had assured you that Duncan's promise remained as true as on the bitter day he had made it. You are my world, lassie, he had sworn upon his sword, and I'll never feel whole until we're together again. Only send for me, whatever your need--and if I live, I will come.
His knock upon the door was gentle, but the sound of it made your blood race with sweet anticipation. You took a moment to compose yourself. To see that the lines of your dress fell properly. To straighten your shoulders so he would notice that although motherhood had softened your bosom some, there was a fullness there surpassing that of your youth. To run your fingers through your hair and play up the thick waves he had once greedily prized. A girl on the verge of full womanhood you had been then, a girl to the beautiful but green lad Duncan had come to you as. Now you were a woman in your prime, having lived years of joy in the child he had given you, along with the bitter heartache of missing the boy's da with every drop of blood in your veins. Now, a woman's hunger for the powerful man your only love had grown into filled your veins, and though your mind told you he wanted you the same way, your heart quailed to think perhaps not.
Duncan knocked again as you stood, tremoring hand on latch, before the last barrier thst stood between you two. A single firmer rap upon the oak, and then he spoke your name like a question. Your name from his dear lips, his voice low, and like long-missed silk, and like the dream you had never allowed yourself to believe might come true some day. With a slow, deep breath to brace yourself, you drew it open.
Dressed simply in shades of blue that paled still as you considered the peerless blue of his eyes, dark brown breeches, and fine leather boots, Duncan stood unparalleled, more handsome than any memory that had sustained you these many years. Easily stealing your breath, making your tongue cleave to the roof of your mouth, weakening your resolve to not throw yourself straight into his arms.
His eyes widened at the sight of you, an undisguised wonder sparking in their depths as his mouth dropped open. You felt frozen in their sweet regard, waiting to see if he would speak or fall back upon his old, shy manner and stumble out some loving compliment. He did not disappoint you. "My sweet, sweet lass, you've been all these years in my memory," he marveled, soft and low-toned, "But by the Gods now, you've become a lady fine. Too fine for the likes of an imperfect hedge knight and servant of the realm." In a breath, Duncan crossed the threshold, bowing his head as he took a knee. "Foolish I have been, lifelong and acknowledged by too many to number," he raised his gaze again your way, "But how, by the Seven, did I ever muster the strength to leave you behind, sweet lady?"
"Don't...Duncan please..." His fervor dizzied you, and you laid both hands upon his jawline, assuring yourself he was real and no fantasy formed of the depthless longing you had lived for ten long, yearly cycles of sun and moon and tides. "You're undeserved kindness will have me crying like a feckless girl. I would not have that be my welcome gift to you, but only proof that the love I bear you lives within me stronger now than ever it was..."
With that, he took to his feet and pulled you to him, reminding you how he had ever shown you his strength tempered by the caution of love. The door was still open wide, but he cared not, anchoring his powerful hands to your waist, finding your lips at last. Soft to start as though learning their flavor for the first time, then insistent for a far fuller taste.
As it had been then, so it remained now. You needed to rise up on your toes for your arms to encircle his neck. His solidness, the strength in his every muscle was enough to overwhelm you. The gradual probe of his tongue against yours, the pure taste of your Dunk, made you giddy and weak, and if he had wanted to, you'd let him take you right there on the floor with hot, heedless abandon.
"My dearest love...my heart...my love...my life..." Were they his words or yours? Did you hear them or simply feel them; the invisible brand that had silently bound one to another despite time and distance. Either way, they seemed in perfect timing with the racing beat of your heart. While his grip on your waist had tightened, as though Duncan was desperate to keep from losing you again.
You gasped hard when he released you from his kiss to savor your skin, murmuring both his devotion and his regrets for all the years he had allowed to pass without finding his way back to you. You were crying now, joyfully, to feel the truth of his love in his gentle words, in the hot press of his lips against the pulse in your neck. And in the insistent press of his body to yours, his rapidly hardened length impossible to fully conceal.
You laughed softly at that realization so that Duncan pulled away just enough to give you a questioning look, coming back to his senses enough to smile sheepishly, before stepping away only to close the door and see it safely bolted. The world beyond it now ceased to exist.
Stepping into you once more, his height and breadth got you sighing as you finally reached to touch his hair. Much longer and less sun-streaked muted gold than it had been, but as thick and soft as you remembered. Freshly washed too, with the faint scent of amber and something citrusy about it. By both the Mother and the Maiden, you thought what a blessing it would be to wear his scent on your skin.
Ah, but he had grown serious enough that you tamed you smile to suit his mood. Duncan brushed the fingertips of his swordhand along you cheek, then asked the question most pressing to his mind. "Lady, is it your will to be with me this night?"...
So, here I am again, getting ready to move into my car. My application for short-term disability back pay has been temporarily rejected due to issues with my ID. Now, I'm waiting on my duplicate, updated driver license because the first one never arrived at my mailing address. It's gonna be a full month until I get it and can finally appeal the decision to reject. It feels like everything I do is a lesson in futility.
Mainly because of the now inhumane delays (see above) that continue to keep me from getting my medical sick leave back pay. Finally got an invitation to go live with my brother & his wife in Florida--but doing so means losing my Connecticut-based Medicade. My meds alone are $1,800+/month, so that's a no-go.
Focusing hour by hour is the only way to get through this. Daytime temps are going to be in the mid-90'sF for the next several days, which obviously makes my situation more dire. I honestly don't know how much longer the McDonald's staff is going to let me hang out there to escape the heat (I do get something to eat every couple hours, though not good for my low-salt diet). Any help to spend even one night in a room with a bed would be heaven sent.
DAY TWO: Surprisingly, managed about 3 hours sleep last night. Have been staying extra hydrated between 5am-8pm (nothing after because no bathroom access overnight). CONCERNINGLY, since about 4pm yesterday, my kidneys are producing about 1/3 of my regular volume, despite staying well hydrated. If it goes on for another day & night, might have to seek the emergency room. But at least that will allow me to elevate my crazily swollen calves, ankles, and feet for several hours.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Am very slowly reading The Sworn Sword because, frankly, 2027 is such a long time away and I need new (to me) Dunk content like, I dunno, iron tablets for extremely anemic blood. And seriously, I have to stop every few pages just to marvel at my man, Book!Dunk. Cos he's The Man. I won't give spoilers ofc, but take my word for it. Page 208. When you get there, you'll see it exactly.
You bet your sweet ass that I'm going to be breathless with anticipation and glee every moment of watching Season 2. What makes it even more deliciously anticipatory is that Peter Claffey has said TSS is his favorite of the three novellas--I fully understand why and I know in my bones he gets Dunk exactly as GRRM intended and THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE. Alleluia, amen.
I never in my life envisioned a character so thoroughly owning my heart.
gif by my girl @aegonsdrunkenpoetry , who also fully understands the vice grip Ser Duncan has on my heart
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
So, here I am again, getting ready to move into my car. My application for short-term disability back pay has been temporarily rejected due to issues with my ID. Now, I'm waiting on my duplicate, updated driver license because the first one never arrived at my mailing address. It's gonna be a full month until I get it and can finally appeal the decision to reject. It feels like everything I do is a lesson in futility.
Mainly because of the now inhumane delays (see above) that continue to keep me from getting my medical sick leave back pay. Finally got an invitation to go live with my brother & his wife in Florida--but doing so means losing my Connecticut-based Medicade. My meds alone are $1,800+/month, so that's a no-go.
Focusing hour by hour is the only way to get through this. Daytime temps are going to be in the mid-90'sF for the next several days, which obviously makes my situation more dire. I honestly don't know how much longer the McDonald's staff is going to let me hang out there to escape the heat (I do get something to eat every couple hours, though not good for my low-salt diet). Any help to spend even one night in a room with a bed would be heaven sent.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
have reached that point of Day One staying in my car when everything from the waist down hurts. especially my tailbone/ass. can't take any Tylenol for a few hours yet.