"Match their energy" is toxic, managing spoons
If the balance of energy is what we are seeking, changing our energy to match someone else's is not the answer. Matching someone else's energy means we are changing who we are to engage. This can be seen as manipulative, even if it's unintentional.
Instead, have an understanding of the friends, and if interaction is needed, seek out the friend who's energy matches us, where we are or need/want to be.
Changing behaviors or energy to match another person is wasting a spoon. It's too much thought and effort to go above and beyond to change our self or personality. Manage energy by seeking similar, and not trying to change to fit what's available.
"Matching" someone who is busy, or distant, because they are doing it to us, is manipulative to try to gain their interaction. Don't ever change who you are to gain a friend or relationship. Not everyone is meant to be in everyone's life for forever.
If creativity is the goal, chime up that creative friend. If venting is needed, call up that good listener. If random chit chat is needed, text that buddy who loves gossip. If we are already feeling down, or stressed, we'll know to not call upon the person who has a knack for sideways compliments or critiquing (they are great for when we need feedback though). You get the point.
Understanding the people in our life and effectively communicating with them will always reserve energy over storing resentments up or altering our personality to get interaction.
It's not about who we're around when it comes to energy management, it's about how we feel while around them, and afterwards.
Reserve those spoons to allocate to a more productive task, allow friendships and relationships to boost our energy, not deplete it.
Learn to let go of "people changing", we want people to change, it's called growth. We can acknowledge it as a positive outcome and reserve a spoon from feeling like their growth is a personal negative attack.
It can even be helpful to make a list of the social circle and write out how they benefit our life, so we know exactly who to reach out to and for what level of energy we need to match to ours.
Always allow energies to match, each day is different, no person is static.
