so it goes.

I am well aware. I have let this happen to me before and I got seriously fucking hurt. I love him to death, he's great, super fucking great but i'm not letting my happiness rely on him. My depression has been pretty bad lately (starting to get better though), and I told him that I don't want him to cure me, but to kind of hold my hand while I get through it. I have thought about it, and I kind of thought what would happen if he left, and yeah I would be sad but I'd get over it you know? There isn't and sense in letting someone with a penis fucking ruin you. I have been so heart broken that I didn't know what to do with myself and now that I look back on it, I was fucking dumb. It's not just people I have relied on either, i was addicted to cutting, smoking weed, drinking you name it, and I really don't see myself going back to any of those things again. I know I am sad right now, but I am doing everything I can not to rely on anything.