Stay lowkey and let people assume

BEYONCÉ ICONS | Country Era✨

Heyy, thanks for the question 💘

It kind of started after we were coming back from watching a musical one day. We had to walk through Oxford Street to get to our train station and whilst we were walking I saw this cute lingerie shop and dragged my friends inside.

We went around the store looking at the different pieces, speaking to the shop assistants and we bought at least 3 pieces each. Afterwards we got home and we were texting; we realised it was really nice to be able to confidently discuss things, that are typically seen as more “intimate”, with your friends, so we decided to make it a monthly occurrence.

One of us researches the lingerie boutiques in London and decides where we go that month. We would start our dates getting afternoon tea, then spend the afternoon going to the lingerie stores that were chosen for that month. It’s not obligatory to buy anything, the point of the date was to enjoy our new-found love for lingerie together and bond as a friendship group. We would usually end the day going to get dinner or watch a movie.

So that’s what our “lingerie dates” were 🥰

Since covid started we do scheduled zoom online shops and drink wine whilst searching different sites (one time we accidentally drifted onto this online sex toy store and that was honestly the highlight of my 2020 😂).

We plan to do more dates in summer once lockdown is lifted 💘

Femmecandles

Of course, I would like to settle down if I found the right one. However, I wouldn’t want to force myself to settle in the event that I don’t find him.

There is a lot of pressure from society for women to get married quickly. An unmarried woman, past the age of 30, is seen as strange; “there must be something wrong with her” or “maybe she’s secretly undesirable”. Yet, her male counterpart is an eligible bachelor living the coveted “bachelor life”. We all know that patriarchy is the attributor for this double standard.

Living in a patriarchal society has solidified in women’s heads that having a partner significantly increases their social capital; more than it increases a man’s social capital. It’s as if there is an expiry date for how long women can be single without being seen as social liabilities - essentially “failed women”. Women who claim to be enjoying their ‘singleness’ are the fault of a failure in the algorithm and they’re “just kidding themselves”. “Really they just can’t find a man, so they have convinced themselves it’s okay to be single.”. Not taking into consideration the toll that marriage takes on women.

Due to the way society is set up, a married women has to accommodate her life to fit around her husband’s. They will say relationships take compromise but what they fail to mention is that most of the compromise takes place on the woman’s side. She will most likely end up having to accommodate his culture, his traditions, his family values, his family issues etc. Which is why when women get married it often changes them.

If, as a woman getting married, I already have to compromise so much, there is no way you are going to convince me that I also need to settle for someone who doesn’t meet my standard. I would rather stay unmarried with a new fling each week, than commit myself to a man who is below my standard.

I see a lot of amazing women ending up with below average men - not just money-wise, but the man’s personality, values, appearance etc. There may be many factors for why this happens but I feel like the pressure put on women to get married quickly is the root. This societal pressure allows many women to disregard red flags and their better judgment because “this may be their only chance to get married”.

I refuse to play into society’s hand and possibly sign up for a lifetime of pain and regret. Which is why I feel absolutely no pressure to get married any time soon. I’m planning on taking full advantage of my time as a bachelorette.