leave me in the snow, let me go

“You love me?” she echoes the words her sister just said, for what felt like the first time in her life. How was this fair? How was it right? For Elsa to cut her out for so many years, to remain so distant and cold towards her, just to suddenly turn around and claim to love her now, as a way of trying to get her to change her mind. “Since when have you ever loved me, Elsa? Since when have you cared about anyone ever? I love you. I’ve always loved you and I have tried so hard to get you to see that. To see me. And you’ve never so much as even looked my way. You’ve never cared about anything - let alone me. And it’s not fair for you to claim to love me now. Not when you’re just saying it to try to get me to change my mind.”

Taking a step away from her sister’s desk, Anna’s head shook as she tried her hardest to keep it together. But it was all feeling to be too much. The stinging threat of tears was poking at her eyes and she knew if this continued she was going to break down. She wanted nothing more than to just leave and put all of this behind her, to force herself not to care what Elsa did, to find happiness in what she had and to finally stop expecting or wanting more from her sister. But Anna had never been good at giving up or backing down from what she knew to be right. “No, you don’t love me. But you know who does? Hans. He loves me and I love him. And I want to spend the rest of my life with him - I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him. This wedding is happening. You have had plenty of time to get to know him, but you never did. That is your fault, not mine. I am not asking for your blessing, not anymore, but I am asking for you to be there. As my sister. Because I love you, Elsa. All I’m asking is that you show up.”

The disguise wasn't the greatest but Elsa figured a coat, a scarf over her head and sunglasses would be enough for no one to catch onto who she was. The wool coat, for most, would've been saved for the winter time but for Elsa it was practically like wearing a light shawl, especially now in times of deep stress where her body temperature would drop beyond what was considered normal. She didn't mean to catch her sister in the midst of her sleep but considering Hans wasn't around, this was as good of a time as any to be able to see her sister finally. She lightly shook the redhead's shoulder, not wanting to scare her awake but considering the last time her sister had seen her, maybe that was inevitable as that was the last manner she'd wanted Anna to see her. "Anna?" she softly called out, attempting to make this visit as easy as it could be.

Catching her sister's eyes widening at the surprise of seeing her, Elsa quickly slipped in a request. "Please don't freak out, please," her voice remained in a hushed tone as her gloved hand reached to take the sunglasses off of her face. Though considering how much agony she'd kept herself under since the festival attacks maybe it was best to keep them on to cover her weary eyes. "I'm not sure what I should say. I guess I want to start off with an apology for not visiting sooner. I should've been here with you the whole time, I would've been here the whole time but I-" It was shameful to say why she couldn't be seen after what she did, she didn't have the heart to say it out loud so she didn't say it at all. "It's just better for everyone if I go away for a bit. But I needed to see you, I wanted to see how you were doing." There was so much to discuss but first and foremost, her sister's health was at the forefront of her mind.

It wasn't unusual for the eldest Arendelle sister to call him for a meeting, given that he had gotten to know her business almost as well as she did. Though he was only a few years older than her, her father had made the decision to entrust the Order with their company had anything happened to him. It was almost like he'd predicted the future, as, a few years later, Elsa had shown up looking for help within Arthur's first few years in charge. Her powers were ones unlike he'd ever seen, and the way she'd managed to keep them hidden when they could've so easily been revealed was even more remarkable to him. It had been a long, stable friendship that Arthur was glad to have kept despite the unfortunate circumstances on which it had been built.

He hadn't gone to her sister's wedding, having offered to be there but learning that Elsa herself wasn't in attendance had been strange. That was exactly what he thought she might be coming to him about: simply to talk about her decision, as a friend. The thought of having a personal meeting on his calendar was honestly a nice reprieve from doing the work he had outstanding. Arthur waved her in through the glass door, shutting his laptop. "So, should I be sending my congratulations to your sister? How did everything go?" he asked, being rather socially out-of-the loop when it came to things like this.

It was hard to figure out how to segue right into her favor, Elsa thought it best to give context. “Hans, my brother in law, came into my office the other day to tell me that he and Anna think I’m too preoccupied with work and see it fit that my work hours should be reduced so that I may find happiness in my life, the same way they found theirs.” Her forced smile faltered with every word revealed. “In other words, they want to see me in love,” she scoffed at the circumstances they’d placed her under, still somewhat shocked that this was what she had to deal with. “He insisted he could take some work off my hands like he knows anything about this business, and, somehow, Anna supports this.” Elsa thought it was ridiculous for them to believe she wasn’t fulfilled in life already, but she sensed that this was about more than them caring for what she did in her personal time, which was practically nonexistent. “I don’t trust my brother-in-law, I don’t know him and I don’t trust the fact that he is eager to work for my father’s company.”

Elsa continued before Arthur could pose any opinions or questions just yet, she needed to get everything out of the way before he could say anything. “I made an impulsive decision, one that I should not have done because it involves you. But when Hans came to my office to discuss this with me, I acted quickly because I didn’t know what else to do. I felt the need to get defensive and in turn, I made up a lie that implies that we are," she searched her mind for the right words to use, "romantically linked." She was nearly done but it felt like a lifetime to get to this part and seemed like it would be longer until she reached the actual end.

“I don’t expect you to follow through with this lie with me, I just needed to inform you of it because I named you specifically, yours was the first name I could think of." She didn't need a mirror to know that her face was reddening with embarrassment, looking at Arthur didn't make it any better, it only made her more flustered. Speaking her scenario out loud let her realize how absurd it all was and that she would rather hide away, so out of habit, that's what she planned on doing just now. Avoiding eye contact, she readied herself to leave as soon as she apologized. "And I see how unprofessional this is, so perhaps we should forget this happened. I will fix it so we don't have to speak about it ever.”

Hans had had a bone to pick with the eldest Arendelle sister from the moment they'd first spoken. He knew that she couldn't stand him, and obviously didn't want him to be married to her sister, but here he was: married and victorious. Now that everything had settled, he had the unique opportunity with the upper hand on the blonde to deliver another kick while she was down that Hans was about to take full advantage of. Now that the Arendelle house was just as much of a home to him as it was to the sisters who owned it, Hans had no trouble knocking on the door of her home office to have a little, familial chat.

"Elsa," he greeted with a grin, hoping to come off as genuine as he possibly could. He'd always used an extra level of filter with her, not knowing how much influence her opinions had on Anna. Now, though, with a ring on his finger, Hans could practically act however he pleased. He set a cup of coffee on her desk for her, a feigned peace offering before he spoke. "Do you have a moment? I wanted to talk to you, about last weekend, and your decision not to come to our wedding, which, regrettably, still had to happen, even without you."

She raised from her desk chair, properly greeting him as if he were any one of her clients. He was in her office after all, she was going to act accordingly. “I send my regrets, of course. I hope you two enjoyed the gifts I sent as consolation.” It was the least she could do under the circumstances, she knew gifts weren’t enough to mend the problems she had caused but she’d hoped it was a start. Elsa gestured for him to take a seat before returning to hers, “Now, what part in regards to last weekend did you want to discuss?”

Even though he'd mentioned it to Branch it wasn't exactly a conversation that he felt like he needed to burden his friend with. He didn't even know Anna and Kristoff wasn't exactly ready to acknowledge what feelings he feared he might have for her. Tonight he'd caught Elsa first and a wave of relief came over him knowing that she felt the same. It hadn't been easy for him to understand why she'd gone through with this but he was doing his best to support his friend. "Hey," he said sheepishly as if he had something to hide by having been there for her sister. "Yeah... You know I can't say no to her when she gives me those eyes. I kept thinking if I went it wasn't going to happen and I just stood there." The blonde shook his head, not even liking the way the words felt on his tongue. Anna was married. "I know she will. She loves you more than anyone, she just needs some time." He gave her a small smile of reassurance but he knew it could only help so much.

"Well, look at me. I literally didn't even know him a whole two months, and no, it wasn't a love thing, but I think it's worked out so far." Atta gave her friend's bed a forceful pat, hoping she would accept the gesture and maybe begin to calm down once she could sit still. "Elsa, I know you love her, and that all of this is because you love her, but are you sure this isn't going to make you lose her?" Surely Elsa must've thought of that result, if Anna really did love this guy as much as she said she did. "I just think ... maybe it's worth supporting her now, for the long run."

“No, she wouldn’t do that.” Elsa felt she had to say that out loud, possibly convincing of her own that something like that couldn’t happen. “Anna may not like me at the moment but I don’t think anything could drive a wedge between us.” Elsa knew she had put Anna through a lot since childhood, a life of isolation could not have been easy for someone who didn’t want that. However, she was trying to make up for lost time now, she was trying to be the best sister she could be under her circumstances. This came with the harsh results of needing to be honest with her sister about certain things, like that she was rushing into something so quickly. “Every major choice I have ever made was done with her in mind, I didn’t think it was necessary to ask with her to do the same with me but I suppose I should have.”

In her current state, driving across town may not have been the smartest of moves - but there really was no other choice. Walking would take too long and she refused to let either Hans or Kristoff see her like this right now. The tears had yet to come, but she knew it was only a matter of time before they started to fall - most likely as soon as she actually saw her sister in person and realized this was all real. But until she got to that point, Anna wasn’t crying yet. She was shaking and having trouble reminding her body to breathe every couple of seconds, but she wasn’t crying.

Given that she was technically a board member of Arendelle Enterprise and also the younger sister of the CEO, no one really batted an eye when a flash of red hair came bursting through the building in a rush to the floor of Elsa’s office. Which was nice, considering she wasn’t in any sort of mood to stop and make small talk. Normally on the rare occasion that she came to see her sister at work, Anna always stopped to knock and waited until she was invited inside. But not tonight. No, tonight she pushed the office door open without any warning or indication that anyone was even on the other side of it. “What do you mean you aren’t coming tomorrow?” she shoots out the question as if it’s been burning her to hold it in this whole trip over. Slamming the door shut behind her, she takes a few more steps into the room and stares the older girl down. “It’s my wedding and you’re my sister. You have to be there.”

“Anna,” her stern voice called out as she stood from her desk, surprised by the slamming of the door. The older sister had expected a reaction of sorts, maybe not as severe as this one was quickly turning out to be but if it meant waking Anna up from the false dream of this wedding then so be it. The letter served its first purpose in getting the two sisters to take this as seriously as it should’ve been rather than the hobbled-together plans for a quick engagement Hans had rustled up. “I’ve made it very clear why I can’t approve of this wedding in the letter. But if you want to talk about it more in detail then, please take a seat.”

Elsa couldn’t quite manage eye contact with her sister, she had a tough time with that in general but she felt that at this moment, if she did then she would cave immediately into the wishes of her sister, that was something she couldn’t allow. “I love you very much, Anna, but this is…” With her eyes closed, she’d rubbed the temples of her forehead, finding a quick soothing for her nerves. “I feel very strongly that if you marry this hastily, you’d be making a big mistake. And I want what’s best for you but I have yet to know this man you plan to share the rest of your life with. If you had given me time to get to know him, I would’ve happily given my blessing but you’ve left me with no other choice.”

Don’t you know there’s part of me that longs to go into the unknown?

GET TO KNOW ME ✰ [2/10] Movies ⤷ Frozen II (2019)