Benedict Bridgerton x Reader
Uncertainly I looked around and tried to find my mother or my father in this crowd of people. But both were nowhere to be found. The more the hall filled up, the more fear and panic gripped me.
I noticed how the panic gripped my body more and more and before I had a panic attack in front of these people who were strangers to me, I ran away inconspicuously.
I had to get out of this crowd and calm down in some empty room.
My parents knew about my fear, but they dragged me from one ball to the next. Of course I understood them, they just wanted me to find a good husband at the balls. But it was all just too much for me.
Even as a child I got scared when too many people gathered around me in one place.
I quickly ran away from the people around me, I took my dress in both hands and lifted it up. Well that wasn't exactly ladylike, but I didn't care so much at the moment. Since the panic increased and I noticed that I could hardly breathe.
Without paying attention to whom I ran past, I inadvertently bumped into a young man. He turned around confused and looked into my face.
His blue eyes looked at me in confusion and I desperately bit my lips together to keep from crying or even shaking in panic. Without saying anything to the man I just kept running, but I could feel his gaze on me.
I would have liked to apologize to him, but I knew that if I had said anything, I would have had a panic attack.
Without thinking, I opened the first door I saw and entered the dark room.
I quickly closed the door behind me and leaned against the door, sinking down against it.
When I was finally alone, I let my emotions take over. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. Again and again I went through in my head that I was alone and that there was no more danger for me.
Slowly my heart and body calmed down and I could breathe properly without breaking into tears.
When I realized that there was no more danger of a panic attack, I slowly got up from the floor and looked for the light switch of the room. I quickly found it and opened the light.
I found myself in a studio.
There were paintings and artwork all over the room. Some were complete and some were not yet.
Smiling I walked past the paintings and stopped at one and looked at it, it wasn't finished but still looked beautiful.
I had always been fascinated by art but unfortunately I was not talented in this area, but I did not miss the opportunity to admire the art.
The painting showed a landscape and so far there was only a large meadow and many beautiful flowers to see, yet it harmonize wonderfully with each other.
Startled, I turned around and caught sight of the man from before.
Panic-stricken, I widened my eyes and didn't know what to say at the moment.
Was he the owner of this property?
But then he would have to be a Bridgerton, wouldn't he?
Without looking at him any further, I briskly walked past him to leave the room.
But he grabbed my wrist as I tried to pass him and automatically I had to stop.
Slowly I lifted my head and looked into his blue eyes again.
"Have you been able to calm down? Are you feeling better?" he asked me softly, looking at me with such a loving way that you would think I was a very special woman to him.
I nodded silently and wanted to move away from him, because I just didn't know why he was interested in my condition.
We didn't know each other at all.
"Are you afraid in such big crowds? If so, why do you voluntarily come to a ball?" he continued to ask me bluntly.
"My parents hope it will help me find a suitable husband, but unfortunately it always ends up like today. I panic and run away. The whole evening I then hide in an empty room until the ball is over and my mother then looks for me," I explained to him, secretly wondering why I was telling him this at all.
Only my parents knew about my fear....
I honestly felt ashamed too, since all the other women my age, could enjoy these great balls....
Sadly I looked at this man and knew exactly that he would look at me pityingly and throw me out of this room.
But what surprised me was that he just gave me a gentle smile and pulled me along by my wrist.
He sat down on the sofa that was in the room and just sat me down next to him, then grabbed a stack of paper and a pen.
"Please stay calm and let me draw you, at the same time you can calm down like this and you don't have to go to the ball," he explained to me and winked cheekily at me.
Speechless I looked at him but nodded only slightly, I was just fine with that, as long as I did not have to go back into the crowd.
One could perceive in the pleasant silence only quietly the music of the ball and the gentle brushstrokes of the brush on the easel met. My gaze went to the window in front of me and I looked at the stars in the dark night sky.
I was allowed to change my sitting position after being addressed by Benedict Bridgerton, he gave me his name and I gave him mine.
Now I sat on the windowsill and looked out, which did me good and I was happy inside.
Mr. Bridgerton was now standing across from me at an easel drawing me.
Neither spoke a word, but no one had to. There was a beautiful atmosphere between us in this room.
Every now and then I glanced at Mr. Bridgerton and smiled gently at him.
I didn't know why, but when I looked at him there was an incredible calm feeling inside me and my heart felt good.
This man radiates a calmness which made me feel very happy.
When the ball ended, I said goodbye to Mr. Bridgerton and thanked him for letting me stay in his studio and for the good time.
He just smiled and said we would meet again. I was sure he was just saying that out of context.
But what surprised me the next morning was that suddenly Mr. Bridgerton was standing in front of me with flowers and a painting.
"Would you do me the honor of letting me get to know you better and continue to paint you?" he asked me, showing me the painting.
It was what he had painted of me last night and he had finished it after I left.
It was beautiful and I looked like a princess.
"I'm not that beautiful...", I whispered unintentionally, but Mr. Bridgerton heard it.
"Oh my dear, if only you could see yourself from my eyes...I can't even capture your beauty, the picture is nothing compared to your beauty. Please allow me to meet you, I will always stay by your side. Always, even if fear should seize you again," he explained to me in a firm voice and his blue eyes looked at me hopefully.
Happily, I nodded and invited him in.
I had always seen my fear as my greatest weakness and as obstacles, but it seemed it wasn't after all.
My fear brought me to Mr. Bridgerton and helped me find my happiness....Sometimes the greatest weakness can also become the greatest strength....
