Santana Lopez

Tristan:

Tristan’s vision remained hazy but they eventually settled back in and stared into Santana’s face. The droplets of rain worked to clear the cobwebs from his vision as his blue eyes focused in on her face. God, how he missed getting lost in the dark brown eyes. Each one always seemed to have their own gravitational pull on the young man and today was no different. “You’re not the one who spent weeks pretending he was in love with a fictional person. I think I’ll always be the more pathetic one here…” He forced himself into a smile but found it hard to keep it there for long. It was clear that whatever was going to happen between them was coming to a summit now and everything would hinge on this talk.

He stood motionless for a few seconds as he went over her words again in his head. The fact that the Latina was seemingly more hurt than upset was the biggest shock. Tristan had spent enough time with Santana to know that this could have been an easy scenario for her Snix side to come out. Instead, he had to deal with the look she was giving which was something that he wasn’t sure he had seen before. It was almost as if she was hurt…hurt at the fact that Tristan would no longer be in her life. His heart sunk even lower as the meaning of the words kicked in. The hands that remained at his sides began to tremble once more as his nerves began to build up once more. Unexpectedly, he watched as his hands reached forwards to take Santana’s small hands in his.  It was as if his body acted on it’s own, reaching for the thing it needed most. “I never wanted to leave you…” His voice is low as he whispers the words. From the corner of his right eye a small tear rolls off onto his cheek but he can barely feel it thanks to the rain falling from the sky. 

"I didn’t want to stop seeing you, Santana. And that was the problem. You’re all I wanted to see." Tristan decided that it was time to just man up and confess it all. If anything was going to be able of salvaging the mess he had made, it was going to be the truth. "I got the point where you were all I thought about and it didn’t matter what the time of day it was. I wanted to wake up next to you and not feel pressured to go but instead just enjoy my time laying next to you. I wanted to be the one who fell asleep beside you and kiss you goodnight." Tristan voice faltered near the end as he broke eye contact from her. The hold her had on her hands loosened as he let go and let his hands fall back to his sides. "The guy who was heavily against relationships starts to develop feelings for the girl who has equally against relationships. Pretty pitiful, right?" His broad shoulders shrug as he lets out a defeated sigh from his lips. "I guess I thought it would be easier for you and for me to just back off entirely…so I ran. I would rather deal with my feelings alone than put you through that so I made up Sarah. I figured you’d just move on and have a better life without me." Tristan’s right hand brushes away the rain on his forehead and into his hair as he shakes his head in disappointment. "I broke the rules..I-I’m sorry."

Santana:

Santana could feel the rain hitting against the top of her foot that wasn't covered by her red heel. Her eyes searched his and for a moment she wondered if there was a way out of this; maybe they could forget any of it happened and go back to the safety of emotionless hookups. Then again, those hookups hadn't been emotionless for a long time but the vulnerability that came with admitting that was hard for her. She let Tristan take her hand in his and it was if her body melted into his touch. She wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him in that moment. 

Her mouth opened to speak but no words came out. The reality of this was something she'd played over in her head a few times. This was never anything she believed could happen. Santana didn't think she was worthy of more than something casual and Tristan was far too good of a guy to ever feel the same about her. "I didn't want you to leave." Her voice broke as his hands dropped from hers. "I..." She paused to wipe away the tears brimming in her eyes. "I used to lay in bed and pretend to be asleep longer so I could.. I could stay in your arms a little longer." Santana shook her head and with her confession could no longer hold the eye contact with him.

Tristan’s breaths were leaving his mouth in huffs all due to the hybrid mix of the anger, shame and disappointment he was currently experiencing. Why? Why did he have to lie? Not only to Santana but to himself as well. His head was buzzing as he could feel his world begin to spin beneath him. The angry exhales morphed into spaced out short breaths. All these sensations were oddly familiar but the farthest thing from welcome. It had been months since Tristan’s last black out and this was all coming at the worst possible time. The feeling of his knees trembling made everything all too just as vision started to blur. His head was askew when the sudden sensation of hands grabbing at his restarted his sense. Tristan choked in a mouthful of air as if he had suddenly rediscovered how to breathe.

Hesitantly Tristan turned to face Santana as he knew that she wasn’t going to easily let go of the grip she had on him. His eyelids remain as he can still feel the cobwebs floating around from nearly passing out in front of her. His jaw clenches together as he opens his eyes but keeping them focused away from her face. Instead they look downwards to droplet of water on his forearm that’s quickly accompanied by another. It was either rain or tears but in order to get get confirmation he had to stare her in the face. Gradually his shimmering blue eyes met hers and saw no evidence of tears. Perfect, rain. "If you’re here to rub it in my face how pathetic it is to make up a fake girlfriend, save it. I’ve done that enough already for the both of us." His tone is still harsh, defensive as he remains unknowing of Santana’s thoughts.

Santana:

Santana knew something wasn't right when he turned to look at her; his face seemed to be paler then usual but she attributed that to either emotions or too much cheap frat house beer. Her eyes searched his when they finally lifted to meet hers. "No, I'm not. I..." Raindrops beat softly against the top of her head while her mind raced for the right words. "At least you didn't spend the past few weeks getting worked up over someone that doesn't even exist." She laughed half-heartedly and hoped her self-deprecation would somehow make him feel better about his own.

If only this were a movie and she could call for her lines now. "I hate her." Her arms crossed against her chest as the vulnerability made her stomach twist nervously. "I mean.. I know she's not real now but I can't help but want to strangle her." Santana looked down at her feet. The ball of her heel rubbed in the dirt. "Now who's pathetic, right?" She rubbed her hands together, a habit that appeared whenever she was nervous, but quickly dropped them back to her sides when she noticed. "I thought you were gone." Her heart threatened to pound right out of her chest and she took a moment to look back up. The brown eyes practically pleading with Tristan's; she needed him to understand even what she couldn't find the words to say.

Tristan was teetering between being able to keep his serious poker face intact as Santana spoke to him. He wished that the blaring noise pumping from the speakers would tone down he could hear her voice clearly in all it’s beauty. Even though it was somewhat muffled through the party noise, the sweet tones of her voice was audible enough to cause his lips to pull into a smile. He nodded along as she continued to speak but cringed ever so slightly when “Sarah’s” name left Santana’s lips. It was obvious that she wasn’t here to play nice and her aggressiveness wasn’t exactly masked behind her passive attitude. This was Santana Lopez after all and despite the fact he should have seen her next move coming, he didn’t.

His brain processed her final words  immediately and was completely stunned in his place. The term blindside was never more relevant than it was now as part him held hope that James could keep his brotherly bond in tact and keep his story whole. Most girls would have tiptoed around the subject before bringing up it up subtlety. Tristan’s mouth opened, ready to answer but only silence was heard. It quickly became difficult to even look her in the eyes as his whole lie was coming crashing down. “I….” The one word came out broken, his voice shaking as his eyes moved gradually down to the floor. With all his might, Tristan turned his heel and pushed through a crowd of students and found his way to the nearest exit. His feet were unable to move fast enough as he bounced off drunken frat boys to the exit. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. He told himself as he bolted from the house, the sounds of the music fading and being replaced by the thundering skies in the distance. 

Santana:

Santana felt her stomach sink once the words were out. She wished she hadn't said them immediately. She should have held back and enjoyed talking to him a little longer. Somehow she managed to keep that playful smile on her face as if it didn't sting her to even talk about Sarah, fake or not. It wasn't until Tristan was turning away that her face fell. He wasn't supposed to leave. In her head, he would have kissed her and told her... well, she didn't even know what she really expected. Her arm reached out for his but he managed to slide through the crowd before she could make contact. 

"Tristan." Her voice was drowned out by the sound of the bass beating through the house. She shoved people out of her way as she desperately tried to keep sight of him. Santana scolded herself even though part of her expected to only mess things up more. Refusing to admit her feelings for Tristan was her way of keeping him from being ruined by her and yet here they were anyways. She lost sight of the brown hair that she knew so well. "Tristan? Hey. Did you see where Tristan went?" A drunk girl who she recognized as one of the player's girlfriends looked back at her with confusion. "Idiots." She grumbled to herself.

Saturday, May 3, 2014. It has been exactly 3 weeks to the day since he had any contact with Santana Lopez. Coincidentally, that was the last night Tristan was able to have anything close to a decent night of sleep. At the end of the day,  it was for her own good. That was the basic thought he kept repeating to himself as he tossed and turned in his lonely queen sized bed. In theory, the lie was supposed make things easier for the two of them. However in reality, the guilt that came with his false story only made things worse for him.

The sensation of yet about person’s hand on his broad shoulders woke him from his day dream. He stood in front of the long beer pong table as person after person tried to take down the champion. In the end, no one was able to beat him as a roar of drunk frat boys cheered him on. Tristan didn’t really care much for the competition but this spot allowed him the best view on Santana. Try as he might to prepare himself for seeing her, it was all busted when he actually laid eyes on the leggy cheerleader. His aim was to only steal a couple glances before leaving but the sight of the Latina struck him with all the emotions he had been trying to run from all this time. The hairs on the back of his neck raised in fright as he could see Santana walking towards him. Tristan’s brain yelled at him to turn and run but his feet were firmed planted into the floor boards. “The captain just beat everyone at beer pong and is awaiting his championship belt. What’s a crime is that I still don’t have it in my hands.” He replies, eyes dragging up from the ground and scanning her outfit before locking in with the deep brown eyes he was so familiar with. “No, Sarah’s working tomorrow morning and couldn’t make it…” Tristan says loudly as the speakers of DJ began to play loudly, drowning out much of audible noise around them. “I’m just here to celebrate the win with the boys.” He spots James in the sea of college students, eyes narrowing into daggers as he suspects he said something to Santana. 

Santana:

Santana wasn't used to exposing herself in the way she was planning to do in a minute. She built walls to protect her from the heartbreak of caring about another person. When she lost Whitney she refused to ever hurt that way again and closed herself off to anything but fun and hookups. That worked for a long time until all of a sudden she found herself dialing the same number night after night. Tristan stopped being a fun late night hookup and turned into a close friend. Eventually his voice sparked fluttering in her stomach and as hard as she'd fought it he found his way over the walls. "Champion of the drunken fools. You must be so proud." While her words cut with sarcasm, her tone was much softer. Her hand ran across the beer pong table gently as her eyes trailed back to his.