Snikerdoodle the fox

I miss you .

I'm mad at the fact that I never found you on facebook after we grew up and started living our adult lives . But how could I, you went under a different name, it wasnt even really a name at all. I just wish I knew , I wish I could have helped you . I'm mad at the lost chance of reconnection, it was sad that the first time I saw you in almost 7 years was in a coffin and I deeply regret not trying harder to find you . Maybe , just maybe...I could have helped you hold on to that light at the end of the dark tunnel. I know how hard it is to suffer but my god you must have suffered to end up doing what you did , maybe if youd seen I made it through so far so could you . You were and still are very dear to me . We shared our highschool ball together, I remeber countless sleepovers and days where we would hang out and play kingdom hearts. You were such a beautiful soul . But I think, after all of this my biggest regret is I never told you one thing . Perhaps because at the time I didnt understand what I was feeling but well, you were the first girl I think I ever loved . I remember sleeping next to you trying to think of excuses to give you a hug or snuggle up closer , but I didnt want to freak you out . I didnt even know if you liked girls. I knew you had interest in boys at the time so I left it be. I was happy to just be in your life as a good friend and I didnt want to jeopardize it . If only you could have known how loved you are it could have helped, and if there is a heaven , I hope you found it .