i'm beautiful

Woosung’s hand grips Lukas’ arm just that tiny bit tighter as he tries to diplomatically shove his way past a bunch of older women huddled together in the street, pointedly sighing as they get by. He lets out a soft snort as he reaches up to adjust his scarf, grumbling in response to Lukas’ words.

“Yeah, I know. Which is why those aunties should know better than to just hang around in the street. If we did it, we’d get yelled at, but…” Trailing off, Woosung grumbles incomprehensibly into his scarf until Lukas surprises him by twisting around in his grip to give him a smile that would put the radiance of both the sun and moon to shame.

This kind of thing is really not good for his heart, but if his last sight is of Lukas smiling like that, it wouldn’t be a bad way to go.

As he listens to the older boy’s (slightly hesitant) proposal, Woosung can feel a grin of his own growing behind his scarf and he pulls it down without thinking. He almost wants to squish Lukas’ cheeks and tell him not to be so endearingly adorable, though he has enough good sense to refrain. Honestly, though. How the hell had Woosung managed to luck out like this?

“Bro, are you kidding me? Of course we can go to a themed cafe!” he crows, flapping his free arm a little in excitement. “I haven’t gone to one in ages, I mean I have no shame when it comes to these things, I don’t mind going in alone. But I haven’t had the time lately, y’know, with our workload on all that…” Realizing that he’s about to go off on a tangent, Woosung quickly stops himself and tilts his head slightly. “What kind of themed cafe were you thinking about, hyung? An animal one? ‘Cause there’s a few good ones around here, one of them is a sheep one! Or there’s cartoon themed ones, like Snoopy or Hello Kitty, though I get it if that’s not your thing.” He pauses and then pouts as a though occurs to him.

“….There used to be a Lego cafe around here too, but it closed down a few months ago. I’d have brought you there, ‘cause isn’t Lego a big thing in Denmark? I thought it might be nice and remind you of home….” he says, not fully comprehending his own words, too disappointed at his plan being foiled before he could ever enact it.

pulling a grimace at woosung’s addressing random middle aged women on the street as ‘auntie’ lukas had to admit that this was one point he’d always find weird about korean honorifics. it was rude not to use them but if he ever dared to call a random stranger back home ‘auntie’ he’d be in for a world of pain. the poor ladies would probably be incredibly confused and very offended to say the least.

“what can we do about it?” he asked with a shrug of his shoulders and leaned closer to woosung so he wouldn’t be overheard by any of the so called aunties. “i mean when you get older your body isn’t as functional so it’s not their fault they’re slowed down by age.” this was said with a small wink before woosung’s face lit up in excitement, much more so than he could ever have anticipated from such a simple and slightly embarrassing request.

listening to the other going off lukas had never imagined that such a fondness for the subject resided within his ‘date’ and he could only stare in amazement and endearingly at the other as he listed off the opportunities. mouthing a whoa, lukas became aware of the world he was daring to step into. the knowledge woosung seemingly possessed in this particular area was surprising, but amusing and interesting to say the least.

“sheep? in a cafe?!” he repeated unable to believe his ears. yes, he had heard of dog and cat cafes and heard about japanese maid cafes but that was about it. he didn’t even know there was such a vast variety. this was getting much more interesting than he had ever hoped to imagine.

“oh, there was one?” lukas asked about the lego cafe, a bit saddened to hear the news of its disappearance. he had always enjoyed playing around with lego from when he was a child, and would also sit around with the children in the kindergarten and build stuff before moving here. it could have been fun to see how a country so foreign treated something he had grown up with. “oh well, nothing to do about that! thank you for thinking of me like that though, i appreciate it. really.” he reached over to give woosung’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

@lgclukas

Backdated to February 10th

When he’d told Lukas about managing to get himself the part of guest role in Cram School 2, Woosung had expected maybe a clap on the back and some congratulatory words from the older boy. He hadn’t expected a full on glomp and Lukas screeching his head off in response before declaring he was going to treat Woosung for all his hard work.

Needless to say, that had given his heart quite the workout, for various reasons. And it had taken a long time for the red to leave his cheeks and ears.

It’s how he finds himself on this little sojourn with the other during their Seollal break period, wrapped up in more layers than he cares to think about, though they do provide a good way to hide his red face whenever Lukas does or says anything endearing. They amble along the streets on Mapo-gu, Woosung resting a hand on Lukas’s arm as they manoeuvre their way through the crowds.

(Purely so he doesn’t lose him. Not for any other reason, of course.)

“Ah, it’s so crowded…” he mumbles, looking around him warily. While Woosung wouldn’t say he has a problem with crowds, he’s regretting suggesting paying a visit to here of all places, especially when it’s so close to Seollal. Maybe they should have stuck closer to Jongno-gu after all. “Sorry for this, hyung. We can try and find somewhere to eat and then see if there’s somewhere less crowded or something…”

if he had to be completely truthful he felt like a bit of a fool for not reading the job description properly when he had gone all out for his musical audition. but hey, even though he would have got the role no matter how badly he did (probably) and didn’t have to work so hard to be able to act alongside woosung, it was still a learning experience he supposed. although for some reason woosung didn’t seem too keen on this particular role. lukas simply assumed it was because he had managed to secure himself a bigger role and for that he was incredibly proud of the younger. in between ‘i told you you could do it!’ and ‘you’re gonna smash that show!’ he had managed to ask the other out for a... celebration. totally a celebration.

it was cold out, but even so the spring breeze was slowly starting to go through the streets, making the changing of seasons. it was nice. but kind of sad to see the joy of winter go away. lukas had always been a winter child; maybe it just came with being a december baby. right now, however, he had other things preoccupying his mind than the snow disappearing and the weather getting warmer. like where to have this celebratory meeting for one. and the feeling of woosung’s hand on his arm that he could feel through his jacket for another.

“yeah it’s really full,” he concurred with a nod. “as expected of seollal!” it was nothing like this back home, that much he had come to conclude after moving to korea -- even a crowded day in copenhagen was a breeze compared to the crowds that could appear in seoul. for a moment he appeared thoughtful, but it didn’t take long until lukas’ expression seemingly lit up. 

When Lukas mentions that he actually likes Woosung’s voice, the younger lets out a choked noise of embarrassment, removing his hands from his neck to bury his face in them instead. By now it felt like his entire face was dyed red. If it had been anyone else saying something like that (except maybe for Allie), Woosung would happily wallop them and tell them not to be such an idiot. But with Lukas….

Well, for multiple reasons, he has no want to hit the other. Especially if Lukas took it the wrong way and went back to thinking Woosung hated him or something. After how close they’d become, Woosung doesn’t think his heart could take that kind of stress again.

(In fact, any kind of rejection by the older made Woosung feel nauseous with anxiety.)

Luckily, Lukas had been too preoccupied with the lyrics sheets to notice Woosung’s minor crisis on the floor. When he spoke up again though, the words made Woosung (slowly) bring his head up to stare at him, a blank look on his face as he processed what Lukas was saying.

“…You do know all that ‘fly high’ and ‘heart exploding’ is just a metaphor, right hyung?” Woosung’s tone his pointedly flat and dry, the same tone he uses when he deems Woojin to be beyond moronic, but the a twinkling in his eyes and an upturned corner of his lips that betrays his amusement. Snorting a little to hide a laugh, Woosung picks himself up off the ground and returns to Lukas’ side, teasingly shoving against him.

“Anyways, do you really think that if I was superhuman, I’d still be a trainee, let alone be sick?” he asks, now unable to stop himself grinning, especially when he misreads Lukas’ blush as embarrassment to being called out as opposed to anything else. “Dude, if I was superhuman, I’d have an Oscar by now~”

Giggling a bit at the idea, Woosung shook his head. As funny as the turn of conversation was, they were both here to work after all. And Woosung still has to get some amount of singing proficiency before the agency will let him move on.

“Ah, the key… I mean, I could try, but that doesn’t change the fact there’s still that huge jump in the note range at the end of the bridge…” he eventually replies, smile sliding from his face to be replaced with a doubtful expression again.

“i-i know that much...” he complained weakly, for even though he wasn’t that good at korean he could tell that it wasn’t literal. at least he hoped it wasn’t. the flying thing was kind of fun under the right circumstances, but he couldn’t imagine it was nice for one’s heart to literally explode. fortunately woosung moved along quickly afterwards.

shaking his finger and making tsk sounds with his tongue, lukas began pointing out the flaws in woosung’s logic. “a superhuman can still be riddled with sickness. take deadpool for instance. guy’s fighting a battle with cancer and still kicks ass left and right-- uh, defeats the enemies i mean.” usually lukas wasn’t one to swear at any times -- he didn’t want to set a bad example to the children -- but every once in a while he slipped up especially when speaking foreign languages where the phrases were something he had heard other people say. 

only then did he realise that his counterpoint kind of defeated the point and rubbed his neck sheepishly in apology. “well, i guess that didn’t make it any better though, did it?” he laughed. then he gave woosung a pat to the back. “point is that it doesn’t matter who you are or what your circumstances are. i believe you can do anything if you really want it.” didn’t that also defeat his point of woosung not being a super human? oh well.

The sudden movement of Lukas slapping down the sheets of music without warning has Woosung whipping his head around with enough force to pull a muscle. Barely suppressing a screech of pain, hands flying up to massage the affected area, he stares at the older boy with wide eyes as the chiding continues, lost for words.

It’s not as though what Lukas is saying is wrong, it’s true that they both had vastly different ranges, as do others in the company. And it was a fact that when it comes to lower registers, Woosung outclasses Lukas easily. Not through any particular advantage gained through experience, rather by merit of Woosung simply having a naturally deep voice. Shifting uncomfortably on the spot as the gentle lecture continues, Woosung digs his fingers into his neck in a vain attempt to soothe the painful burning of muscles before trying to make his own case, knowing that it would probably be knocked down by Lukas with ease.

“Yeah, thing is. Your voice is suited to singing. It’s a nice voice.” Well, that wasn’t weird at all, was it? Flushing to the roots of his hair as Woosung realizes exactly what he said, he flounders for a justification for his words. “I mean, compared to me, you know? My voice is….” he trails off sadly.

“…Sometimes I wonder what my voice would be like if I was normal…” he murmurs, arms slowly dropping to his sides limply. “Y’know, if I’d never needed a ventilator and gotten my vocal cords wrecked. Maybe my voice wouldn’t be like this… so deep.” A mirthless laugh sounds as Woosung lets himself slide into a sitting position on the ground, staring up at the ceiling without actually seeing it.

“…I chose it because… It’s my favourite.” he eventually says, hanging his head in defeat, pain be damned. “A song about overcoming everything life throws at you and reaching your goal… I wanted to prove that I can do that. In both how I life my actual life… and in singing. I didn’t realize it was that hard, though.” The last line is delivered in a whisper, with even Woosung not sure what aspect he was actually referring to.

taken a bit aback by the sudden compliment, lukas’ eyes widen only for him to break into a bright amused smile at the other’s bashfulness. god, he wanted to give those red cheeks a good squish and tell woosung that he was adorable when he blushed, but he managed to restrain himself from any unsightly behavior. instead he cleared his throat, trying to remove his smile and face the other with a more serious expression befitting the woes he was faced with, but failing to hide the smallest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“i like your deep voice though?” he simply replied seemingly oblivious to the worries behind the words and the impact his phrasing would probably have on woosung. while he could understand where the guy was coming from, he genuinely failed to see the problem. woosung had a very unique voice and lukas found it pretty in its own way. his own was much more common, something you wouldn’t be able to differentiate from other light voices even if he knew how to hit the tones right and could manage a pretty decent vocal range. 

he could however better understand the feeling of wanting to perform the song now that woosung confided in him that it was his favourite. so it carried such a meaning behind it, huh? he hadn’t realised the sentiment put behind it. see, that made things more difficult. 

giving a slight nod of acknowledgement, he gave the text a sideways glance, struggling to immediately read the hangul. he cursed himself for being a slow reader who couldn’t immediately pick out a good phrase. “fly high, I am running against the wind. Fly high, feels like my heart will explode,” he quoted the song, reading slowly and stumbling over the letters a bit. “i see...”

vlive 005 prompt two of five

{ tw: food }

now that just wasn’t fair. asking about all the snacks that he loved but couldn’t get because they didn’t exist over here leaving his diet aside? although he could understand why people were curious about living abroad, but it still wasn’t fair.

“let us get this straight -- i love danish snacks... denmark is really huge when it comes to pastries and i miss them a lot. korean bread and cake just can’t compare!” somehow what he missed the most about home was sitting down in the morning before work with a cup of coffee and a thebirkes. it seemed like such a mundane thing back then, but ever since he had moved he hadn’t had one and now that he was thinking about them, lukas was having mighty cravings.

“i also really like our licorice! it’s much more salty than i’ve had it in other places and i know a lot of people, especially foreigners don’t like it, but i grew up with it, so it’s kind of an acquired taste i guess. and -- this is not a danish brand, but it’s still scandinavian and i don’t see it many other places -- marabou. best chocolate ever. it’s really refreshing with hazelnuts in it. or caramel.” his parents would send him some every once in a while, and while lukas generally was one to keep the rules, when it came to this particular chocolate he would sneakily eat it in the dorms when no one was looking.

“as for living abroad in general, it can be really stressful. i live pretty much in the opposite end of the world from my parents so i can’t just go visit them when i get a day or two off, and it’s also expensive for them to come here. when i first moved here, i was struggling a lot because i didn’t speak a word of korean, but a lot of the fellow trainees have been very helpful with my studies and now i’d like to think i’m pretty decent at least!” a small wink was shot at the camera even though he knew that his accent gave him away as a foreigner.

At Lukas’ slightly chiding words, Woosung’s head ducks down even further, though it’s due to shame rather than simple embarrassment. Honestly, why is he even acting like this? When did he start feeling so strange around the older boy? Maybe it’s a him problem. Hospital had never been a great place to learn how to interact ‘normally’ people, after all.

But before he can dwell too much on such dark thoughts, Lukas is by his side again, holding out the music sheets of the song Woosung’s been trying to get down for the last few weeks and the younger’s shoulders untense a little. Maybe he was simply reading too munch into the situation and Lukas isn’t as annoyed at him as Woosung thought he was. Still, he makes a special effort to meet the boy’s eyes properly this time, just because it’s what Lukas (or anyone, really) deserved.

(Even if looking directly at Lukas’ soft smile and shining eyes makes Woosung’s heart skip a beat)

“A-ah. Yeah, it is…” he mumbles in response, scrunching up his nose a little in unhappiness. It really doesn’t help that he has such a deep voice to begin with. He lets out a sigh and scratches at his cheek.

“I dunno, hyung. I’ve been practicing for…. a while now. I just don’t think my voice can go that high to begin with, let alone cope with such a sudden note change…” Woosung breaks off with a groan of frustration, running his hands through his hair.

“Dude, what am I even doing here?!” he all but whines, forgetting his previous embarrassment to pull at Lukas’ sleeve almost childishly, a pout on his lip. “I wanna be an actor, not an idol. I mean, props to everyone doing their best here, but it’s just not me, y’know?” He breaks off with another whine.

“I feel like I’m taking up space that someone else deserves…” he mumbles softly, again averting his eyes in unhappiness.

although the self depreciating words were definitely true to some extend, it didn’t mean lukas approved of them in any way. maybe it was his instinct as a caretaker, or maybe it was specifically this guy, but he didn’t like seeing him being so hard on himself. everyone had worth in some way if you were to ask lukas. there was not a single person out there who was good for nothing at all.

“i know,” he concurs with a nod. “i’ve seen you practice it after all.” woosung definitely hadn’t been slacking, and that was one very admirable point in him. this was far from easy work, and there was no one who was simply ‘naturally good’. of course some people had better odds in some aspects, but everyone started with the same basics. lukas, for one, was happy that he had his high school music line to draw on when it came to the knowledge he had beforehand.

“even so, aren’t you selling yourself short too much here?” glance turned sideways to lock eyes with the guy right beside him (or at least attempt to, considering woosung was busy diverting his gaze) and he let out an exhale as he put down the papers as quickly as he had picked them up. it seemed they weren’t what they needed to focus on right now. “just being able to hit high notes doesn’t make a good singer. my voice is lighter than yours, and i can go higher, but you can also hit notes in the other end of the range i struggle with. i think that’s plenty amazing.”

It’s a little strange. Of course, he’s still nervous of messing up and making them look like fools by accident (rather than endearingly so on purpose, which was kind of their goal for this particular part), once the camera starts rolling and he and Lukas get into their routine, it’s like the rush of being an actor takes over, shoving Woosung’s previous fears into the background.

It reminds him of why he wants to follow this path. He wants to experience this all the time, and he wants to share this rush with everyone else.

His posture is more relaxed now, even as Lukas pretends to scold him for using the wrong song and Woosung pouts in response, even though it’s a struggle not to smile instead. Now that he’s not as wound up, the whole thing is even funnier than it was during practice.

“Uwah, I’m sorry hyung!” he cries in response, putting on a mock-sad expression and pretending to wilt under his umbrella. “But you’re right, our forecast is predicting a storm and that you’re all ‘gonna make some noise!’ It’s the LGC Senior Boys performing Rain-sunbaenim’s Rainism!”

it was kind of funny to see woosung in action like this when he was usually so awkward. lukas knew for a fact that the guy was aiming to become an actor, but there was always a difference between knowing and realising. he couldn’t deny feeling kind of proud on the other’s behalf, seeing someone who was usually struggling pull through beautifully. admittedly this was a different situation than a full drama filming, but everyone had to start somewhere, right?

getting the ok from the filming crew, lukas let out a relieved sigh only to immediately shoot his fellow trainee a big smile. “i knew you could do it!” he beamed and gave woosung a pat on the back.

stretching both arms above his head, even he feels the need to loosen up his body after this whole ordeal. it only lasted half a minute, but it was some very intense 30 seconds to him and most likely his partner as well. “but the most nerve racking thing is still yet to come huh?” he mumbled to himself and shuddered thinking about the performances.

He’s nervous. Well, that might just be an understatement. Woosung is practically bricking it. And not just because he’s partnered with Lukas.

Going through a practice run of a sketch they’d prepared is one thing, having to do it on live television, in front of an audience of who knows how many people is a completely different thing. This is his first foray into actually being on television, presenting something to the masses.

Lukas’ words and the gentle squeeze to his shoulder make Woosung jump in surprise, his heart racing even more so that usual. He stares at Lukas for a moment before fixing a smile onto his own face, nodding jerkily.

“Y-yeah! ‘Course it will! I mean, I’ve got you here with me after all.”

He flushes as the words tumble out of his mouth unbidden, but with them, the knot in his stomach loosens slightly. Lukas is right. Everything should be fine. He swallows hard as the word ‘action!’ rings out through the studio, knowing now that all eyes are on them, for good or worse.

In response to Lukas’ comment about the ‘weather’ Woosung pulls out the toy umbrella he’d managed to convince the producers to let him bring onstage, his voice taking on a knowing tone. “Ah, but didn’t you hear the update, hyung? There’s been a sudden forecast of rain showers heading our way! But don’t worry, you can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella~!”

honestly it was a stupid little skit, but lukas found it kind of amusing himself and thus had no real problems performing it. the only thing that was nerve racking about it was the whole being on television thing and knowing that if he messed up everyone would be laughing at him for it.

fortunately it seemed like woosung had this under control too, something he had feared for, but the other was probably just as scared of being a laughingstock online. beside, these things were supposed to be kind of dumb and lame anyway, weren’t they? the ones he had seen were at least so it would be all fine.

on his cue, woosung had pulled out his prepared umbrella, making lukas gasp in amazement. then came the corny melodic line making lukas click his tongue and wriggle his index finger back and forth while ‘tsk’ing. “don’t be a ‘bad boy’ now, woosung ah! that’s not the right song and we both know that!”

“hey, buddy? what’s up?” he asked carefully as the other seemed incredibly stiff in his movements leading up to the recording. a hand moved forward to carefully rest upon woosung’s shoulder and give it a squeeze. “are you nervous? you don’t have to be. just do it as we practiced and it’ll be no problem at all i’m sure!” lukas was very much aware that his words were pretty big and that the younger did not share the same pretense of confidence he himself had. but even so, they were going to do this, not because either of them wanted to per say, but because they had to.

fixing his own collar, lukas gave woosung a glance over, up and down, before giving him a thumbs up. there was not much time left before they got their cue, and lukas shuffled a bit uncomfortably in his seat before shooting a smile at the camera that was supposed to film them. the count went down before someone yelled ‘action!’ in the background.

@lgclukas

Woosung has to admit it, when he’d first met Lukas nearly a year and a half ago, the other hadn’t made the greatest impression on him. Not that the older boy had been rude or cruel to him. In fact, quite the opposite, he’d been almost too kind to Woosung. And Woosung, with his experience of being spoken to in pitying tones thanks to his condition, had misunderstood Lukas’ sincere kindness as condescension and had given him the cold shoulder in response.

Even though they’d come to an understanding quickly, even thinking back on those few brief weeks when he’d been cold and dismissive of Lukas’ help and generosity makes Woosung’s insides shrivel up in embarrassment even now, a year and a half later. Luckily, Lukas had never held him in spite over it and at worst, simply teased him every so often over the whole incident. Instead, he’d simply accepted Woosung’s apology (and apology candies) and returned them with that unflinching warmth and support from that day on. And really, from there onwards, it was history.

Perhaps that’s why Woosung’s heart began to skip beats whenever he and Lukas met eyes lately. (Though maybe it was just his heart condition having incredible timing. Yeah, it’s that.) Entering the training room, he smiles over at Lukas, feeling his eyes redden for absolutely no reason.

(It’s the rush of heat that comes from coming in from the cold. Has to be.)

“Hello hyung~” he chimes, glancing at the older boy with a smile before redirecting his gaze to his feet. “Ready to get started?”

if there’s one thing lukas had always considered himself to be it was easy to get along with. he had to have a friendly and understanding atmosphere about him in his profession and that carried over to his personality in general quickly. but even so, he always understood that no matter what he could not humanly get along with every single person on earth nor would he perfectly understand other people. thus when a certain boy had started at the agency roughly a year after he himself had, lukas had greeted him with the cheer he usually would. maybe his at the time limited korean had made him say a thing or two weirdly. but it didn’t take long before woosung apparently hated his guts.

for a while he had simply resigned himself to his fate and accepted things as they were, but during an exercise the twain had been paired up and realised their differences might be based on misunderstandings more so than actual reason to despise one another. fortunately so, lukas believed, because since then woosung had helped him so much with learning the language and culture and they had become quite decent friends if he had to say so himself. 

there was just one thing that bothered him. he couldn’t place a finger on it exactly, but it always seemed that woosung acted differently around him than he would others. than he would previously. like how he wasn’t even looking at him right now. maybe the old resentment wasn’t entirely gone, but he’d very much like to know what he had done wrong and preferred to hear it instead of such feelings being suppressed.