i can't be bothered

Chapters: 25/? Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Midoriya Izuku, Class 1-A (My Hero Academia) Additional Tags: re:zero au, Time Loop, Angst, Crossover, deku suffering, Temporary Character Death, izuku have a quirk, you don't need to know re:zero to read this, Dissociation, Self-Indulgent, hopefully a happy ending, tags may be added?, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Suicidal Thoughts, where am i even going with this, implied suicide, also not so implied suicide, Mental Health Issues, Deku centric, Friendship, Minor Original Character(s), BAMF Midoriya Izuku Summary:

"Be careful what you wish for."

If only someone told Izuku this sooner. Maybe he could have been lucky enough to be born quirkless. Yet he knows, through each painful death, that things could have been worse.

So much worse.

Midoriya Izuku Quirk: Return by Death

(AKA, my completely self-indulgent Re:Zero AU because I couldn't get it out of my head. Contains lots of pointless suffering and angst. You don't need to know anything about Re:Zero to read this.)

He was perfect. And she would do anything for him.

(AKA, my yandere!Uraraka fic I wrote at like, 3 am.)

Thought I might as well post this here...

I have no idea why I felt the need to write this, but the idea just wouldn't leave me head. Probably not my best work, but, uhhh... enjoy?

Warning for blood and violence, as well as very minor spoilers for the school trip arc.

It wasn't hard at all. Easy as pie, she turned the villain's own weapon against her, plunging the blade into her throat and letting it slide deep deep inside. Tearing an artery open, the villain (the bitch) dropped like a limp sack of potatoes. Blood painted Ochako's vision red, and just like that, it was over.

"You like him too, right?" She had giggled, swinging her knife in a wild arch. "He's so cute~ I can't wait to cut him up—slice and slice and slice until he's completely broken~" That sickeningly sweet smile of hers widened, sharp fangs on display and golden eyes crinkling in amusement. "I can't wait to feel his skin as my own—"

That's as far she got. Toga Himiko choked on her own words as blood bubbled up her throat and spilled out her mouth like vomit.

Disgusting.

And it wasn't hard at all, for Ochako to cry her eyes out and sniffle into the arms of the next hero she laid her eyes on, clinging to them scared and desperate. "I don't—I thought I was going to die—I didn't know what to do, I, I—" she heaved out a heavy sob, and the hero patted her head reassuringly.

"It's alright, I understand. You did what you had to, so try not to beat yourself up over it."

And that was that.

No one was going to question the fifteen year old girl, chubby faced and rosy cheeked, cute as a button and aspiring hero.

No one would dare, because Uraraka Ochako could do no wrong. There was just no way someone as small and delicate as her could ever take someones life intentionally.

And when no one was looking, she would finally let the smile that threatened to split her face apart free, shaking in silent laughter. And later, when Deku saw her, eyes wide in concern and questions on his tongue, "Are you okay? Did she hurt you?" her heart soared.

She wrapped her arms around him, mindless of the surprised yelp that escaped. Shaking hands returned her embrace, and her heart pounded so excitedly in her chest.

It was fine, because Ochako almost died. She was still overwhelmed and emotional, so no one would question why she suddenly was so clingy.

"I'm glad you're okay," Deku murmured, warm and soft in her ear.

"Me too," she answered.

From the first time she saw him, she knew he was someone special. She didn't know why, or how she knew. She just did.

And when his fist tore through that zero pointer, bones breaking and flesh rendered bruised and purple just for her, she knew she was right.

Deku's face lit up with a nervous smile as he glanced at the pink, heart dotted letter hidden inside his shoe locker. Ochako stared at it, face forcibly neutral, while her hands clenched hard enough to break skin. The fake smile plastered to her face made her want to gag, but the nails biting into the palms of her hands help her regain control of her emotions.

"Is that a love letter?" she chirped, cheerful, even when all she really wanted to do was scream.

Deku opened the envelope carefully, as if he was afraid to damage it. Ochako wished she could tear it apart. He read it slowly, digesting every word with care, his blush increasing with each curvy letter. And oh—how she loved that expression. The way his freckles lit up with the rest of his skin like beautiful little stars, and his eyes shining with an innocence she never possessed. But knowing the reason behind it left a sour taste in her mouth, and she had to push down and ignore it before she did something she might regret.

"I-it is," he said, almost like it was a question. Like he couldn't believe it.

Ochako didn't want to believe it.

"They want to meet me on the rooftop after school!"

And that was all the information she needed. Before their last class ended, she complained to the teacher about a stomach ache. It was just so terrible, she had to be excused early so she could go home and rest.

Of course they believed her—because who would want to call Uraraka Ochako a liar?

She waited by the stairs leading up onto the rooftop. A petite girl passed her by, with soft indigo hair and dark eyes.

Deku waited on the roof for hours, but no one ever came.

He always seemed so nervous around people. First, she assumed it was just her. Maybe he was just shy around girls? But she quickly found that no; Deku just didn't know how to talk to people. If even so much as an inch of attention was thrown his way, he'd quickly turn into a stuttering mess of meaningless words and fidgeting limbs.

And when he saw Bakugou, he'd flinch.

It was Bakugou.

All Bakugou.

Bakugou.

Bakugou—

Bakugou—

"Bakugou."

It wasn't hard at all, and Ochako had to wonder why she didn't do this sooner.

You didn't know yet, she consoled herself. You didn't know how important he is.

Important.

Wonderful.

Flawless.

Perfect.

Deku was all that, and more.

Ochako just didn't understand why it took her so long to see it.

It was sickeningly satisfying, hearing that soft thump as Bakugou's body hit the floor. But he wasn't dead yet. Crimson eyes met hers, burrowing deep into that brown abyss with a look of betrayal, anger and fear, all rolled into one intense ball of emotion that outlined his fading pupils. He tried to speak, but no words made themselves known. Only wet coughs, and Ochako took a step back to avoid the small droplets of blood from staining her shoes.

She killed him in much the same fashion she'd killed Toga, and for just a second, the image of the troublesome boy was replaced by someone else; just as blonde, and just as detestable. A large grin stretched across her face, perfect teeth flashing in the dark night.

"You deserve this," she told him. "You're worthless. Trash. You could never become a hero. The only thing you ever were, was a villain." She leaned in, close close, putting her lips to his ear. His jaw twitched, and she spoke lowly. "Everyone will be much happier with you dead."

He stopped moving.

She wasn't sure when her admiration turned to love, and her love to an obsession. Like Deku with his notebooks, she watched, memorizing every little detail about him. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't look away. Everything he did was perfect. From his shy little smiles and unwavering determination, to his intricate and convoluted plans bordering on madness that somehow always worked out in the end. And his endless compassion, a sight to see, like a real life saint.

Midoriya Izuku could do no wrong.

Midoriya Izuku was perfect.

Midoriya Izuku was a hero.

Deku cried, along with some of the other students of class 1-A. Those who didn't just stared blankly at nothing in silence, or shook in inaudible rage with no where to direct it.

Ochako's chest burned. It wasn't with regret, nor was it sadness. It was with anger, because even in death, Bakugou still managed to hurt people. He didn't deserve any of the tears Deku shed for him, and yet, she couldn't find it in herself to blame the freckled boy. His kindness was insurmountable, enough even for someone like Bakugou. It was one of the things that made her fall in love with him in the first place.

But it was alright, because Ochako would be there to comfort him. Deku would never have to be sad with her at his side. He would never have to be alone, because she would never leave him.

His shoulders shook, and her arms circled around them to hold him still.

"Who killed him?" was the question everyone wanted to know the answer to.

But no one would ever so much as glance in her direction. 

Midoriya Izuku drew people toward him like flies to honey. It was a sort of quiet, hidden charisma; the kind you wouldn't even notice until he already held you tight in his grasp. It wasn't intentional, it was just who he was. You could try to struggle, but like quicksand, it would only pull you deeper in.

Midoriya Izuku spread happiness to all those around him. And everybody wanted a part.

It wasn't hard at all, but she did feel a little sad. She'd gotten used to having him around, and found his company refreshing. But as he spent more time with Deku, the more she realized. She didn't miss the way he looked at him, with eyes so much like her own. How could she? Spellbound eyes, glued to the green eyed boy in breathless anticipation of what he would do next.

Just like her.

He's getting dangerous, her mind screamed. Close. Too close.

So she did just what she had to. Because Todoroki really should have known better.

Because she saw him first—It was only fair that she should have him.

He never saw her coming. Just like Bakugou and that dark haired girl she never learned the name of. Toga was the only one who ever stood a chance, but even she never expected Ochako to do what she did.

"You—" Todoroki coughed red; such a familiar sight by now. He fought so hard to breathe, so hard. But it wouldn't be enough. He grasped for her, fingers pulling at air as she stepped away from him, face completely blank. She didn't enjoy this as much as the rest, because for a while, she had considered this boy a friend.

But Deku meant more to her than Todoroki ever could.

He lay on the ground, stomach drowning in an ever growing pool of red. His limbs twitched, and small sparks of flame and brittle flakes of ice formed all around him.

It was almost beautiful, in a way.

Another cough. Then, a word, so soft it was almost inaudible. "B-Bakugou…"

Ochako opened her mouth in a silent "oh", but then, she smiled. "Yeah…" she laughed, quiet, eyes staring at nothing while she reminisces about the blond boy with a personality so despicable. Then, she looked down at Todoroki, whose eyes were stuck to her's in a shocked look of disbelief.

Her smile turned into a soft frown, and with genuine regret lacing every word, she said, "I didn't really want to do this, but you didn't give me much choice. You understand, right? Because you love him too."

He didn't answer. He couldn't.

She bent her knees into a squat, reaching a hand out and running it through his hair gently. "Before you're gone, I just want you to know... you look really pretty when you die." Her hand retraced and she leaned her cheek against it, her elbow resting on her thigh. A soft smile played across her lips. "It suits you."

Ice melted. Flickering flames were put out forever. Deku was going to be so heartbroken when he found out. But, it would be fine.

Because Ochako would still be there. Even if everyone else had to disappear, she would still be there.

Because she would do anything for him.

Because he was everything to her.